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Guyyyys, let’s get all commenty of the weeky in here, shall we?

I can only hope — to stop one of you! Oh, if only I had four arms with which to hold two guns! [looks down] Well, will you look at that. Looks like I have multiple appendages, just like a spi… No, a taran… Wait, a CONDOR! Yes!” –BrutusJ

And the very hilarious runners up!

“Why, in the post-apocalyptic animal world, are aerosol paints rarely sold? Is it an opposable-thumb/dexterity thing? Is that Count Weirdly’s reserve stock on the shelf? Or are they exclusively for spiders? Please kill me now.” –Dood

“I’m imagining a post-veep sitcom for Biden. In every episode he gets himself gradually deeper and deeper into some absurd predicament. At the end of the show, when the climax of craziness has been reached, all the other characters gather around him and yell, ‘Joe Biden, you dope!’ He grins and shakes his head in consternation. Roll credits.” –Peanut Gallery

“June is smiling because that thing on the end of her fork appears to be a peyote button.” –AhClem

“Speaking as someone who doesn’t get turned on by boobs, I have to say Judge Parker’s descent into revenge-fueled madness is the best thing to ever happen in this strip.” –Esther Blodgett

“I think when Bob Hope or Lou Costello leaks water after being shot, it’s funny because we appreciate the hydraulics the special effects people rigged up under their shirts. Drawing the same ‘effect’ into a cartoon is just plain … say, wasn’t this strip supposed to be retired already? [Note: this is the proper way to finish any discussion about Crock.]” –Dr. Mabuse

“I was a clever and evasive devil. Or, at least, I made a Faustian bargain with one! Now I shall be immortal, an unstoppable zombie which keeps on walking and speaking, even as I have become so filled with holes that I cannot possibly hold any water. Oh, wait, no, I’m just a Crock character — we’re all like this.” –The Ben

“The look on Loretta’s face indicates that she knows that this means Leroy didn’t flush.” –nescio

“Reminiscent of the filming of Citizen Kane, the artist had to jackhammer a hole in the floor to get this angle. Nice try, artist, but you’re not getting out of the strip that way.” –Kristian

“You think you have proven the existence of your God with your banana? FOOLS I HAVE PROVEN THE TRUE NATURE OF THE ALMIGHTY WITH THIS DELICIOUS FLESH!” –QuentonKaramazov

“I think Jeffy’s shirt is more of a Hester Prynne situation. It’s not that he’ll forget who he is … it’s that we can’t allow ourselves to forget; we can’t let him to walk among decent people without a mark of shame that brands him for what he is. And much like Hester Prynne, we refuse to acknowledge that we all bear the Sin of Jeffy; we all share the blame for his existence.” –Dan

“It’s handy that Tori carries around a pack of cigarettes at all times so that we don’t have to try to recall who she is or what her character is about. (She’s a bad girl!) I think they should try applying this to the major characters as well. Lu Ann could carry around a bag of hammers, Tommie could carry around a box of saltine crackers, and Margo a speargun.” –pugfuggly

“For erections lasting more than four hours please consult a veterinarian.” –Mr. Yezpitelok

‘Pizza Night’ is actually the closest the human tongue can come to pronouncing the name of the eldritch horror whose jaundiced yellow eye stares down from its black cloud of nothing on its earthly spawn, Heathcliff.” –David

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