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Archie, 1/22/14

The Olympics are only few short weeks away, and the syndicated newspaper comics are here to drum up excitement! Just think, when you’re watching the world’s greatest athletes cross-country skiing their way to glory … over many hours … wait, does anyone watch cross-country skiing? Sounds boring. Almost as boring as shoveling. Should shoveling be a Winter Olympic event? Anyway, Jughead doesn’t like manual labor, ha ha!

Heathcliff, 1/22/14

You know what’s not boring? The newer extreeeeeeme Olympic sports, like the snowboarding half-pipe and such! Check out Heathcliff, who’s pushing the envelope of radical by using a fish as his board, just like he uses a fish as equipment for all sports! For some reason! HEATHCLIFF! EXTREEEEEEMEEEE

Momma, 1/22/14

Meanwhile, Francis is trying to kill his heavyset friend? I guess? Not sure what other interpretation to go with here. I do think it’s convenient for everyone to be carrying boxes labelled SKATES to let us know that this is a skating-themed joke (about trying to kill your friend), as otherwise I’d have had an even harder time with it.