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Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/27/25

Look, we all associate Cinderella with trying on glass slippers, but canonically, the Prince’s retinue repeated the process over and over again with different girls, and once Cinderella put it on and proved her identity, that was the end of the glass-slipper-trying-on process. She only had to do it once! And she didn’t really wear glass slippers after that! Why would she want to wear them again as an old woman, as if she were in the habit of it? I know that fact-checking a cartoon is boring and lame, but I feel like we should hold a strip that’s literally called Mother Goose and Grimm to a higher standard.

Alice, 6/27/25

I know you all rely on me for keeping you up to date on the lore developments in the insane fever dream comic Alice, so here’s the latest: the weird Alice aliens live underneath Alice’s floorboards now, and one of them is in love (?) with her? More on this as it develops in new and insane ways!

Dennis the Menace, 6/27/25

Look at Mr. Wilson’s face. That’s the expression of a guy who’s either going to get rich at the blackjack table or die via suicide by casino security. Either way, he’s not gonna have to deal with this brat again.

Heathcliff, 6/27/25

They banned spiral hams and are putting our Heathcliff in prison, when are people gonna wake up to what’s going on in our country

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Heathcliff, 6/16/25

This is, of course, a hilarious joke about rectal thermometers, and I laud the strip for being subtle enough to not use the words “rectal” or “butthole” or anything like that. However, just to make sure you get the point, Heathcliff’s butt, hanging out the window for his protection, has been depicted in a subtle but still vividly shapely manner, with gentle curves letting us know that yes, the punchline of this panel is specifically about Heathcliff’s ass.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/16/25

Look, Jamaal, I’ve been frank and open about the fact that I too struggle with difficulty remembering the names of acquaintances, even when I remember so many stories about them and details of their lives that it would be extremely embarrassing to ask them, once again, what their name is. So I appreciate you trying out this little “life hack” here, but I don’t think it’s practical. Think of all the social interactions required just to ensure you both end up at the same coffee shop at the same time! Surely his name’s going to come up at some point in that process. So, I like your creativity, but let’s keep brainstorming on this.

Dennis the Menace, 6/16/25

Oh NO but your mom ISN’T HERE RIGHT NOW so he’s gonna DRIVE RIGHT INTO A WALL and you guys AREN’T EVEN IN CHILD SEATS, this is gonna be a BLOODBATH

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Heathcliff, 5/21/25

Real heads who read Heathcliff daily know that most weeks have a theme of some sort — “dirt week”, “garbage week”, and so forth. This week is “sunflower week,” and the way it’s unfolded is a pretty good demonstration of how the current delightfully deranged iteration of Heathcliff works. Monday’s panel was pretty normal, all things considered: Heathcliff and a baseball manager are sitting in a dugout, Heathcliff is spitting sunflower seeds the way baseball players do, there are a bunch of very tall sunflowers (normal sunflowers without human faces, mind you) growing in the dugout, taking up most of the room, and the manager says “No more chewing sunflower seeds.” You could see a version of this as a New Yorker cartoon. But things have escalated: today Heathcliff is standing in the outfield, summoning a grinning, sunglasses-wearing spirit, the so-called “Genie of the Sunflower Seeds,” from his snack packet. And it’s only Wednesday! Imagine how much weirder this could potentially get!

Mary Worth, 5/21/25

Is it, Belle? Is it cute that Wilbur is admitting, right in front of Willa, that originally he liked Stellan better, and now considers Willa his “best little buddy” only because Stellan died? Because I don’t think that’s cute at all, actually. I think it’s pretty fucked up.

The Phantom, 5/21/25

Some might criticize the continuity strips for their glacial pacing, especially strips that are supposed to be about superheroic action. But if The Phantom were fast-paced, could it afford to spend an entire strip on Kit’s erotic reverie? That’s not a tradeoff I’m willing to make!