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Mary Worth, 6/1/14

Haha, yes, Iris, the best-case scenario here is that Tommy and Jerry will mutually benefit from their new employer-employee relationship! Unfortunately, modern capitalism is too often run as a zero-sum game, in which capital extracts more economic utility from labor than workers receive back in compensation. But don’t worry about Tommy, though: yes, he’ll be making minimum wage, but he’ll have an opportunity to meet the droopy-ponytailed, small-faced woman of his dreams, thus proving that the social benefits of employment go beyond mere economics.

Spider-Man, 6/1/14

What did he say!? Is one of my erstwhile nemeses going to start doing my job for me!? This is the best day of my life!”