Hello all! I hope that you feel that I’ve been doing a decent job of mocking the comics from the opposite side of the country from where I had been previously mocking them. You all continue to do a good job with the funny comments, as it turns out! Like this top comment from the week, for instance:
“Calm Dennis is so spooky. ‘You’ve discovered my secret, Mother. Congratulations. Yes, I like to watch vintage lumberjack romances on Turner Classic Movies sometimes. Tell Father if you’d like. I don’t care one way or the other. And now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to return to Ardor Amid the Pines please.'” –Joe Blevins
And these hilarious runners up!
“I’m really glad you’re home, Hemingway. I call you ‘Hemingway’ because you remind me of him. You both have smaller than average penises and it’s only a matter of time before you kiss the business end of a shotgun. And you both like cats!” –gelded wildebeeste
“Who hired me? Alaistair Z. Footfieldmanstein, on accounts that they were rivals to win this year’s ‘Dumbest Fucking Name in Comics’ award.” –Comrade Dread
“I’d submit to Pluggers too, if they’d expand their repertoire of Dr. Moreau-beast-people a bit more, instead of the regular dog-men, bear-men and chicken-women. For example, there would be one where the caption was ‘The Plugger Web.’ where the picture was of a massive, Shelob-like spider-plugger in a John Deere hat, ensnaring a horrified fly-man in its massive web.” –Jack loves comics
“It’s almost like Dennis the Menace the comic needs a talk about good attention/bad attention more than Dennis the Menace the child. Depicting a 5-year-old watching porn on the family TV in front of his mom will probably get you some letters, but they’re not the kind of letters you want! There are better ways to get us to notice you, like jokes!” –Alex Blaze
“Just how far does Dagwood’s food obsession extend, anyway? Cause I’m wondering if Blondie just has to do the 9 1/2 Weeks thing to get him interested, or if she needs to go all-out and dress like a comically oversized sandwich.” –TheDiva
Mary Worth: “So just to recap this adventure’s moral: Don’t listen to your parents, kids. Listen to angels, faeries, and the small lump of neurons in your digestive tract. And Mary of course, always listen to MARY.” –pugfuggly
Mark Trail: “And Chekhov’s Rhinoceros finally leaps off the mantlepiece … and into our hearts.” –Shrug
“At the mention of the guv’mint, the kids switched holding their pencils from writing tool into holding them as stabbing tools. Yes, they are learning everything there is to teach at Hootin’ Holler High School.” –Chareth Cutestory
“Hee-Hee. I’ve got a second brain in my tummy! BEFORE LUNCH IT WAS IN DOCTOR KAPUHT’S SKULL!!!” –Dr. Mabuse
“It makes me sad that he isn’t proffering a hamburger sandwich and French fried potatoes as bait, since that is the agreed upon bait of choice for American teenagers. How is he going to attract a teenager with just a comfy chair? These coddled teens have all the comfy chairs they want already. Kids today, with their hamburger sandwiches and their comfy chairs, and their loud music like the 1812 Overture. They make me sick!” –Jejune (who posted this comment on Facebook, guys did you know that I have a Facebook and you can post funny comments there too if you want)
“‘In the time I traveled here from, we loved beehives so much that we even named a women’s hairstyle after them,’ said the 1962-era government functionary as the older folks admired his glasses, mustache, crew cut, short-sleeved white shirt, rumpled black tie and pocket protector.” –BigTed
“Yes, it’ll be interesting to follow Olive’s progress as she grows up. Except that I won’t.” –A New Day
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