NYC-based readers and pals, I am sending up: THE JOSH-NEEDS-HELP SIGNAL! I really, really, want to do a reading event for my The Enthusiast in New York City. I’ve written to a crapton of book stores (OK, like six or seven) and have either got all nos or no responses. And my timeframe is narrowing — it’s gotta be between the 21st and 25th of April or the 28th of April and 4th of May. I would be 100% up for doing this in any kind of venue you could name that would hold like 30-40 people. Doesn’t have to be a bookstore! Though I’d love to do this in one, because I love bookstores! Anyway, chime in on this thread and/or write me at email@example.com if you have IDEAS.
And with that out of the way, let’s cut to the chase, the “chase” being the comment of the week!
“I hope Beetle Bailey from now on devotes itself entirely to uncanny valley versions of Annie Hall jokes. ‘At first I didn’t want to join the club, but then they said I could be a member!’ ‘My brother’s crazy, he thinks he’s a chicken. But I’ve got too many eggs as it is!'” –OwenKije
And the runners up are as always also funny!
“For all the crap we give Momma for being terrible, we must give her credit for her moonwalking skills.” –Alan
“I couldn’t remember who ‘Max’ was, and for a few wild happy moments I thought maybe these two had an open marriage. Oh well.” –Poteet
“The extradition rules there apply only to human beings. Minotaurs are a grey area.” –Shrug
“If you were a man made of snow and knew all you had to look forward to was the coming spring and the inevitable, slow, excruciating melt that comes with it, you might decide to take the quick way out as well.” –WLP
“Sing a Song of Sixpence (1744) – Goofs
24 blackbirds could not fit in a pie, and if they could, oxygen starvation would soon kill them.
The sixpence hasn’t been a valid coin since 1980.
Mistakes by characters (possibly intentional)
A pie filled with 24 oxygen-starved birds would not be a dainty dish, whether or not it was set before a king.
Suggested by BillyK. 0 out of 142 people found this interesting.” –Schroduck
“Ok, aside from the horrible ‘joke’, where the hell is this supposed to be taking place? In a darkened cave? Oh god, is this a crossover with Mark Trail? Is that … a cave cricket? You never told us they had thoughts and feelings, you monster!” –pugfuggly
“Notice how the ‘irises’ of Boog’s eyes appear to be attached to the upper arc of his orbit (or eye socket). Those aren’t irises, they’re uvula, and those aren’t eyes, they’re mouths. Screaming black mouths gibbering nonsense about fire.” –Voshkod
“Time out, Kenzie! Flag on the play! Illegal use of hands! Ha ha, sports everybody! Sorry, what were we– right, your boyfriend. So… holding? Look, somebody else jump in here.” –Dan
“Look. I spent $25.99 on this dildo. Are we going to use it, or not?” –RavenHawk
“I’m curious as to what a plugger thinks is involved in ‘calculating’ something. I’ll bet they don’t think it involves math.” –AndyL
“Dolly, did you know if you pray hard enough to the Patron Saint of The Pledge of Allegiance, ‘Red’ Skelton, Raleigh Cigarettes will appear under your pillow?” –Baka Gaijin
“Still working hard on that LIZ BELLMAN spin-off strip, I see. Unfortunately, superhero fans never got over the disappointment of finding out that LIZ BELLMAN is not, in fact, a space lizard with sonic powers.” –Aphthakid
“Good thing Thel didn’t go in until after Dolly was done. Time must have slowed to a crawl when she was struggling with ‘indivisible.'” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“Sarge may be in it for the gluttony, but Beetle is just happy that the Bill’s Diner buffet (‘Home of Green Mush!’) lacks both food heaters and a sneeze guard. Whether it’s food poisoning or the flu, something is going to get him out of doing any work tomorrow.” –BigTed
“Girls don’t date guys with big humps on their backs, but since I’m a camel, I’m literally swimming in *ahem* camel toes. Sorry; I thought we were doing a whole stretch-a-joke-to-its-absolute-absurdist-limit thing.” –The Might Untrained FOOZLE
“[cue a dozen male camels not wearing stupid hats walking by with dates]” –Doctor Handsome
Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:
- Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas: Veteran Comics Curmudgeon fan Donald Saxman has a new Kickstarter campaign ad for an HP Lovecraft monster fighting role playing game set in Texas in the roaring twenties. Even if you aren’t an RP gamer the “Strange World Cthulhu: Shadow Over Texas” adventure modules are interactive fiction and the Texas sourcebook should confirm all your most horrible suspicions about the Lone Star state. If that doesn’t sell you, haven’t you every wondered what would happen if the steam-powered Battleship Texas fought the ancient giant Deep One Dagon?
- Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
- Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy