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Mary Worth, 5/19/16

So we all know who that could be — it’s Dawn, ready to berate Mary because she took her advice to achieve in-person connecting by making a bolder personal effort and all it got her was a weirdly all-consuming not-relationship with a contingent faculty member and the hatred of all her peers. I’m more interested in the banner DEBATE SCANDAL headline in the Santa Royale News, which appears to be an sixteen-page tabloid. Was one of the candidates for Santa Royale City Council getting illegal advice through an earpiece while debating his opponent down at the old VFW hall? Or did the local high school debate team get busted for using performance-enhancing drugs, which, having been a high school debater myself, I’m not sure what that would even entail. Coffee, maybe?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/19/16

With new writer Terry Beatty in place, Sarah seems destined to do less creepy adult-child stuff, like being groomed for greatness by a mobster and her pet artist, and more normal-child stuff, like frolicking in the yard with her pet dog! I thought maybe this would be setting off another adventure, like when Abbey found a bunch of human skeletons that one time, but nope, just a skunk. I guess we’re going also going to see Sarah doing less succeeding, like when she became a best-selling author and skipped the first grade, and more failing, like when her new classmates at her fancy private school call her “Stinky Sarah” for the next six to ten years.