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Without any ado whatsoever: your week’s top comment:

“Yeah, white nose syndrome. Shame there’s no cure for it, because after all that time I spent in the caves, I think I caught it. Yup, straight-up zoonotic infection. Maybe I shouldn’t have Eskimo-kissed all those bats, I dunno. Anyway, long story short, my nose is covered with white fungus, I can’t sleep, I’m losing weight even though I’m eating more bugs, and my sonar is all screwed up.” –Voshkod

And your hilarious runners up!

“I like his Archie Andrews beach body.” –Lisa Evans, on Facebook

‘A simple device making him master of the city’s rooftops!’ promises the lead-in, only to follow it with a story about Spidey using them underground. I feel like this whole episode is intended to be product-placement, and in typical Spidey fashion, they screw it up.” –Briane Pagel

“I think that Spider-Man’s NEXT! box is a reference to the OT proverb, ‘Go to the ant, thou sluggard…’ Is the NEXT! box now quoting scripture to mock Spidey’s laziness? Forget super villains, now the Bible is attacking Spider-Man.” –Stefano

“‘Man, it’d sure be conspicuous if I tackled that thief! Everyone would know I’m Spiderman then! I better do something normal instead, like ejaculate web goo all over the ground to trip him up. Nobody would find that noteworthy in the slightest.’ The sad thing is, Peter may well be right. I’ve been on the New York subway.” –David Schraub

“You just know they take up the top three floors of the building, and one of them is nothing but a giant lazy river for the staff.” –Chuck Baudelaire, on Twitter

Realistic enough for arm hair, whimsical enough for computer-generated shading: everyone set your laff-o-meter for ‘debilitating stroke.’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“‘It was too subtle, wasn’t it. Hang on.’ (adds T to sign, ‘PYM ANNTEX’)” –Dan

“Ma Keane wore a mesh bikini to the kiddie pool, and big dark sunglasses to hide her tears and the crow’s feet that makeup barely cover anymore. She stands on the edge of the pool with a beach towel that was chic and in fashion when she bought it four pregnancies ago, but now bears the memories of baby puke, doggie accidents, and a leaky roof that left an orange outline on the bedroom ceiling and a rough spot on the towel from mopping up the water. A mesh bikini is her way of defiantly screaming back into the void, daring it to come for her, terrified that it will. She just wants her youth back, Josh. That’s all. Just for one day. Let her have this.” –Matt Algren, on Facebook

“Dagwood’s weirdest and scariest body modification is forever and always his haircut.” –nescio

You! Halt!! It appears you dropped your passport!!! Here you go!!!! Enjoy your day!!!!! Every time I talk I add an exclamation!!!!!! I don’t know why my wife stays married to me!!!!!!!” –Chareth Cutestory

Halt! No musical numbers allowed!” –Dragon of Life

“The retractable disco ball was an expensive addition to the lab and Ant-Man will be damned if it is used for anything less than an office party.” –Kevin on Earth

What a great night’s sleep! I even woke up!” –Ettore

“Les looks sad and sympathetic on the outside, but inwardly he’s already trying to come up with a title for his new traged-ography. ‘Let’s see… The Silence of the Bulls? …Slow Decline on the 50 Yard Line? …Almost As Sad As Lisa (But Not Quite)?’” –pugfuggly

“Everyone is rolling their eyes at all of this, but I, for one, welcome this development. In fact, I’d like to see more cast members come down with untreatable, progressive, and most of all painful — to themselves and/or the people around them — conditions such as Bull apparently suffers from. Funky can learn that he didn’t quit in time and that his liver is shutting down! Comic Book John can learn that over the years he has inhaled fatal quantities of carcinogenic ink! Les can learn that he has a muscular disease that causes his face to twist into a rictus at the proper stimulus, and that will progress until a mere bad pun threatens to make his entire head twist off of his body!” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
  • Oh, yes, and my novel is something you should buy, in hardback, paperback, or ebook form! It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy

If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.