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The week’s top comment: here it is!

“Looking forward to Spidey’s beatdown from a guy whose superpower is never to end a sentence with a preposition.” –matt w

The hilarious runners up: here they are!

“Three kids eat a bunch of cookies and they’re charged with a criminal offense. Slylock haphazardly parks his car at an angle so it not only blocks the driveway but is halfway out in the street and he’s rewarded with a hot steaming mug.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Wow. Society has collapsed. The gatekeepers of capitalism are long dead. And yet, our heroine still refers to her daily hunting expeditions as ‘shopping.’ Now that’s what I call internalizing Western values.” –Joe Blevins

‘Body language or something — they haven’t quite pinpointed it yet.’ He’s BALD, okay? Just say it! Jeez, do we have to be so ‘politically correct’ that we pussyfoot around the obvious?” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Someone’s been experimenting with the ‘frowny face’ character template. I wouldn’t mind if we pull back the camera just a bit, thanks.” –Rusty

“I think it was pretty optimistic of the young hipsterbilly to expect sushi for sale in what is clearly some sort of artisanal log store.” –Truckosaurus

“It’s good to see that even Hootin’ Holler is part of the growing farm-to-table local food trend. Snuffy brings the big sushi-grade catfish fresh from stream to market every morning right after he fucks them to death.” –Mikey

“Poorly! Turns out most people use ‘pancake’ these days, and the term ‘hotcake’ just confuses them. Still, good for setting up crusty jokes. Speaking of which, have I told you about our upcoming ‘Salad Days?’” –pugfuggly

“Trixie, you’re not going to grow faster just because you shit your pants in the second panel. Fertilizer only works on plants.” –nescio

“His newest nemesis: THE DIPSTICK” –Dennis Jimenez

“The bucket appears to read ‘Ace Drywall Compound,’ which could mean he’s a builder, but I’m betting it just means he stole it from a construction site. –Pozzo

This is the most disappointing Mary Worth I’ve read in a long time, mostly because I was invested in Esmé somehow forcing her and Derek to miss the boat and keeping him captive on the island to be her lover, like Calypso. I don’t think that problem could’ve been solved by meddling, though, which means we have been robbed of seeing Mary don a beret and fatigues and leading an invasion of Haiti. Thanks for nothing.” –Drew Funk

“Are you sure those are Chip’s nips and not his eyes? After all, we’ve never seen those, either.” –Charles Nelson,Really!

“Is that smug face as she brags about High School Band trophies ironic? It has to be ironic, right? Otherwise, this would be the saddest town in the history of the– oh, right. Carry on, band booster lady.” –Dread

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