Metapost: Red-hot weekly comments
Hey y’all, are you ready for this, with “this” being your comment of the week?
“Perhaps shoe repair is exotic enough to the youngs of today that repairing shoes could actually make a decent circus act. After all, that’s how we got lion tamers (whose jobs became defunct once we domesticated cats) and trapeze artists (made obsolete by the invention of floors).” –Francis
Are you ready for your runners up?
“Teasing one’s pet can provide hours of entertainment. On another topic, Slylock’s password is ‘Count Weirdly.’” –A Concerned Reader
“Jeffy, you little brown-noser, God is NOT FOOLED by you skipping into church like that.” –Steve S
“Pluggers should just throw their soda bottles full of urine out the car window, rather than cultivate a layer of fast food detritus to protect their floor mats from leaks.” –nescio
“Sorry, Mr. Speedy Shoe, but the circus industry is near death. Instead, you should try going into the writing of ‘legacy’ comic strips. Apparently no real talent is required, and that industry will never go away, however much one might wish it to.” –seismic-2
“‘Mary and Toby enjoy their onshore time.’ And I’m … happy for them, I guess? This feels like some kind of accusation directed at the reader, i.e., ‘And what are you doing with your onshore time, huh? You’re probably onshore right now. And what are you doing? Reading the funny pages? You probably don’t even own a sombrero! Onshore time is wasted on the landlubbers.’” –Joe Blevins
“It’s funny because any business called ‘Dates R Us‘ is clearly a discount escort service.” –pugfuggly
“If Mother Nature is jealous of the way Lois is parading her body around for her sun bath, that’s just tough. After all, what is Mother Nature going do about it? Shower Lois with some kind of invisible cancer rays or something?” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women
“Mr. Demio knows that the best way to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome is to keep his desk computer well out of reach.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
“At first I thought MJ’s hand was Peter’s, and he was intent on smooshing the bemused look right off her face. Then I misunderstood Aunt May’s and the Mole Man’s hands. Has someone declared a thumb war? Is one of those hands mine?” –made of wince
“The bank manager looks like another satisfied customer at Anonymous Joe’s Totally Natural-Looking Disguises.” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“They don’t need the medical marijuana for energy. After 10pm they play that real jazz, not the safe public radio station crap.” –Philip Moon, on Twitter
“Jacky the wacky press agent threw a word balloon in Peter’s face and just shoved his big client off her chair and sat in it. I like this guy already.” –Hogen the Mogen
“The most solid stool of this cat‘s day is the one he’s presently sitting on.” –Kevin On Earth
“First they told us you have to resist your opioid addiction by prayer, then that giving up smoking is only a question of loving your wife and relapsing is like cheating. Mary Worth is clearly taking a stand against treating addiction to chemical substances as a medical problem instead of a moral issue. This could have terrible consequences! I mean, if anyone still read it.” –Ettorre
“Nothing sexier than sexy, hot, TROPICAL sex! Either the sexy kind where you’re both sweating uncomfortably underneath mosquito netting and unbreathable silk lingerie, or the kind where you’re awkwardly trying to make out in your humid stateroom after stuffing yourselves with room-temperature Lobster Newburg at the Captain’s Dinner!” –Vulcan With a Mullet
“Look how the roiling seas of the Hoosiers’ emotions are matched by the storm brewing outside… wait, all we can see are calm, tranquil, nearly motionless ocean waters! Has this artist no sense of pathetic fallacy?” –BigTed
Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! And as ever, we must give thanks to our advertisers:
- Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
- Oh hey, and don’t forget, I wrote a book! You can get it in hardcover, paperback or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.
If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get a text shoutout in these posts, get the details on my BuySellAds page.