LOS ANGELES PEOPLE! Come to The Clubhouse in Los Feliz tonight to enjoy the live comedy show I produce and perform in, The Internet Read Aloud! You will in no way regret it! Here’s the Facebook event.
ALL PEOPLE EVERYWHERE! Please enjoy your comment of the week!
“Once a plugger forms a mental image of Miss Kitty nude, nothing else will satisfy his carnal needs.” –Left Nut
Please also enjoy your hilarious runners up!
“Yeah, I don’t blame you for not wanting to go back to your house. It’s a dump compared this palace I’ve got here. We have horses, Rand, actual goddamned horses. What’ve you got? A CRT television and a pile of decapitated teddy bears? Sad. Anyway, you were saying something about your … wife, I think it was? Continue.” –Joe Blevins
“Actually, if Wilbur’s finding love in Colombia, then I can only hope this means he’s wandered into one of Gabriel García Márquez’s magical realist masterpieces. Fingers crossed he either indulges in a series of surreal and deeply taboo sexual trysts that metaphorically symbolize neo-colonialism in South America, or gets cholera.” –Schroduck
“Iris reminds me of what it was like to be young and in love, when I was so nervous about calling my special someone on the phone that I, too, would bite chunks out of a cylinder of frozen concentrated orange juice to calm myself.” –DaveInPgh
“Today’s strip would actually be funny if it turned out it’s taking place when Marvin is, say, 15.” –BigTed
“Thank goodness they skipped all the boring stuff where Wilbur went to an exotic foreign location, met a fascinating person, and fell in love with her. All we want to see is him breaking the news to Iris over Skype.” –Peanut Gallery
“You’re right, I’m deteriorating quickly! Good thing I brought an army of goons. It will ease my passing to watch them tear your limbs off and consume them in front of you as you lay screaming. ” –Hogen the Mogen
“I think writing the promotional banner in Lisa’s own blood (which Les keeps in a jar on his mantel) is a little over the top.” –Tom the Sailor Man
“So, anyway, this is the first yard work Leroy’s done in months, so the threesome’s going to have to wait.” –RogerBW
“‘Did you wash your hands before dinner, Ditto?’ ‘Yes, and I can prove it. [Empties white bag full of severed hands on the dinner table.] See, mother! See how all my hands glisten as if covered in the morning dew? I spent hours washing them, cleaning gently under the fingernails, just so you could see how clean my hands are! At least, those hands. These hands, these accursed hands at the ends of my arms, are so soiled with brutality that they’ll never come clean. [Scene from Quentin Tarantino’s MacDitto]’” –Voshkod
“The bald guy is taking this whole thing pretty hard. I think we are actually seeing a superhero origin story unfold. Soon, he will become ‘The Authenticator’ and dedicate his life to stopping counterfeiters. By ‘soon,’ I mean August 2019.” –Drew Funk
“‘What sort of person would try to cheat folks by selling forgeries, anyhow?’ Oh, oh, I know this one! The answer’s ‘forgers’, right? Pick me, teacher, pick me!” –Just John
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