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Dustin, 5/23/19

Wow, this is quite a turn in the depiction of the generational Boomer vs. Millennial battle in Dustin! Sure, the kids these days spend too much time on Twitter and are lazy to the point of narcolepsy, but check out this late-middle-aged criminal who’s shocked, shocked that he might suffer consequences for stealing! And check out Dustin’s dad, a high-priced defense attorney who cheerfully profits from white-collar crime whether he wins his case or not! If you need consolation, my silver-haired thief, maybe you should find it in the fact that you presumably came to court from your nice house, wearing a nice suit, rather than, just to take an example at random, spending three years on Riker’s Island awaiting trial for shoplifting a backpack. Presumably you’ll get to go back to your nice house and will have a leisurely month or two to talk to your broker and accountant about how to sell enough securities to pay that fine without unduly increasing your tax burden. The system works!

Funky Winkerbean, 5/23/19

It’s hard for me to admit that I have a “favorite” kind of Funky Winkerbean, but I do, and it’s this kind: the kind where the character delivering the punchline at least has enough self-awareness to look ashamed about it.