Archive: Dustin

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/26/21

Remember Bizzy Buzz Buzz, the Snuffy Smith character who was named after a popular (?) 1960s toy and whose whole deal is that she likes to obsessively clean things? Well, she’s back. This lovable unaccompanied minor who just can’t get enough of doing unpaid labor for her kinfolk is back! She will be returning every 3-5 years to this strip whether you like it or not, so you might as well grit your teeth and fall in love with her, it’ll be easier that way.

Funky Winkerbean, 7/26/21

Ah, well, it seems like Phil’s death-faking may have been a bit less involved than I had anticipated, and really the only people possibly facing any legal consequences would be the lawyers who straight-up lied to Darrin about why they were sending those covers to him, but what’s a little light lying for a client, who it’s been established was sort of cheated out of a lot revenue for his comics creations and probably couldn’t pay you very much in the first place? Anyway, it turns out Phil mostly faked his death because he didn’t like attention, but then after a few years he realized that in fact maybe he was wrong about that, so he revealed that he was alive in an extremely dramatic fashion at a packed comics convention, so everyone could pay attention to him and his insane life choices.

Dustin, 7/26/21

We all love the comic strip Dustin, because it’s brought balance to the Generation Wars by proving that everyone, whether they’re a Silent or a Boomer or a Gen Xer or a Millennial or a Zoomer, is basically unlikeable. But have you been waiting for the strip to take on a bold new frontier by getting unpleasantly horny? Well, good news!

Pluggers, 7/26/21

Say, did you know there’s a French phrase for this very phenomenon? It’s l’esprit de l’escalier, which literally means “the spirit of the staircase,” the idea being that you think of the perfect bon mot as you’re walking up the stairs to your apartment after you’ve left the party. In related news, I thought of the phrase that’s mostly likely to trigger a plugger into a violent rage, and it’s “Say, did you know there’s a French phrase for this very phenomenon?”

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Mary Worth, 6/21/21

Wait, Santa Roymart? Isn’t that where Tommy and Brandy work? Does Shauna know Tommy? Do Shauna and Tommy go to 12-step meetings together? Does Tommy found himself drawn to Shauna do their shared experiences on the tough road to recovery? Will Shauna finally be able to find a man who she’ll successfully be able to steal away from his woman? Remember, the only thing Santa Roymart is better known for than low, low prices and giving a chance to those who are committed to overcoming their addictions is hilariously public romantic drama amongst the staff.

Shoe, 6/21/21

“And then eat it! We’re birds, remember — small lizards are one of the main things we eat!”

Sam and Silo, 6/21/21

I don’t really talk about Sam and Silo that much, so you probably have a number of questions about it, like “What’s it’s deal, exactly? Is it any good? Which one is Sam and which one is Silo? Is the extremely dated vibe it puts out because it’s actually in reruns, or is this still being produced today and yet it’s somehow still like this? Are the characters all terribly depressed?” Well, today you’re getting answers to two of those questions.

Dustin, 6/21/21

Here’s a fun story for you: When I first moved to LA, I really thought that the restaurants here all kept their lights aggressively dim to set a mood because I kept having to pull out my phone flashlight in order to read the menus, and this went on for literally years before I figured out that actually I had just hit the stage in my life where I needed reading glasses. Anyway, my point is that I’ve finally found a character in Dustin I can identify with.

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Mary Worth, 6/18/21

Ah, yes, Shauna and Ashlee “ran in the same circles,” definitely a phrase that someone who ran in those circles would use! Also they ran in those circles as teens, which leads me to ask: how old are they supposed to be now? Like, Drew, a successful doctor, has to be in his mid 30s at least, right? But if these ladies’ minds are still dominated by high school drama, they’re probably … a lot younger than that, which adds another data point to how we should think about Drew’s whole romantic deal, I guess! Just rescuing sexy 23-year-old bad girl after sexy 23-year-old bad girl with his love, surely one of them will be different when she’s with him, he’s just got to find her, darn it.

Dustin, 6/18/21

One of the things Dustin gets very wrong about young people is that it seems to believe they spend a lot of time looking for love at fern bars. Because its older characters are married and settled down, we get less of a look at their outside-the-family social life, but apparently the strip believes that older people spend time at bars wearing suits, drinking wine or liquor, and talking shit about young people? Gonna go ahead and say that seems moderately more accurate.

Hi and Lois, 6/18/21

I guess it’s probably for the best that neither Chip nor Mr. Waverling knows that “bucket list” is a list of things you do before you “kick the bucket,” i.e., die, because otherwise the question “Say, old man, got any plans for your few remaining years of life?” might seem kind of rude. Also, based on his cruel yet triumphant expression in the final panel, Mr. Waverling’s “barrel list” involves a barrel of sarin gas and a plan to have his revenge on the world that never appreciated his genius.

Judge Parker, 6/18/21

In its quest to stay relevant for the emerging Zoomer generation, Judge Parker is pivoting from “brooding, wealthy men of action” to “hot sad girls” and, you know what, as near as I can tell that’s a smart move, score one for Judge Parker.