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Dustin, 6/21/19

A big part of Dustin’s whole deal is slamming on millennials without really understanding much by way of what millennials’ lives are actually like. The strip has made jokes about Instagram and Twitter despite clearly not knowing how either of them work; so I guess it’s probably for the best that that it refuses to deal at all with the modern romance scene as facilitated by Tinder and other dating apps (which is, according to literally every standup show I go to, an actual rich mine of comedy that millennials simply can’t get enough of). Fortunately the strip has a seemingly endless supply of “guy strikes out trying to pick up chicks at a fern bar” jokes left over from the ’80s lying around. Ha ha, it’s funny because Dustin says “I was into athletics in college,” which is a definitely a phrase a human whose native language is English would use!

Pluggers, 6/21/19

Speaking of millennials and their sex lives, do you ever worry that your mother-in-law thinks you’re cheating on your spouse by fucking your phone? Well, today’s Pluggers isn’t going to set your mind at ease, unfortunately.

Six Chix, 6/21/19

Sure, having noisy upstairs neighbors is annoying. But have these ladies considered maybe getting some furniture that would absorb the sound currently echoing around their vast, entirely empty apartment?

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Hi and Lois, 5/25/19

The best part about today’s strip is the expressions of pure delight on Ditto and his friend’s faces in panel two. This clearly isn’t the first time Thirsty has overshared the contours of marital woes with them, but now things have escalated to the point where he’s been thrown out of the house, and so they’re settling in for some tales of truly outrageous tales of domestic depravity.

Beetle Bailey, 5/25/19

Fun fact! “Knasen,” which, depending on which possibly incorrect auto-translation service you use, is Swedish either for “knees” or “the knot,” is what Beetle Bailey is called in Sweden. And since we all know that Swedish Beetle Bailey is just straight-up porn, that means that Plato has been spending his off hours getting aroused reading about the adventures of Scandinavian alternate universe versions of him and his friends, who get to actually have sex.

Not fun at all fact! Sarge often viciously beats up Beetle in public for the slightest irritation, and nobody ever stops him.

Dustin, 5/25/19

Hey kids, remember Dustin, the comic that doesn’t really know what Twitter is or how it works? Well, here’s some exciting news: it has even less of a grasp on Instagram.

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Dustin, 5/23/19

Wow, this is quite a turn in the depiction of the generational Boomer vs. Millennial battle in Dustin! Sure, the kids these days spend too much time on Twitter and are lazy to the point of narcolepsy, but check out this late-middle-aged criminal who’s shocked, shocked that he might suffer consequences for stealing! And check out Dustin’s dad, a high-priced defense attorney who cheerfully profits from white-collar crime whether he wins his case or not! If you need consolation, my silver-haired thief, maybe you should find it in the fact that you presumably came to court from your nice house, wearing a nice suit, rather than, just to take an example at random, spending three years on Riker’s Island awaiting trial for shoplifting a backpack. Presumably you’ll get to go back to your nice house and will have a leisurely month or two to talk to your broker and accountant about how to sell enough securities to pay that fine without unduly increasing your tax burden. The system works!

Funky Winkerbean, 5/23/19

It’s hard for me to admit that I have a “favorite” kind of Funky Winkerbean, but I do, and it’s this kind: the kind where the character delivering the punchline at least has enough self-awareness to look ashamed about it.