Metapost: Truncated, laughable comments of the week!
Folks: next Friday is the first Friday of the month, and you know what that means: my live comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, is happening Los Angeles!
It’s a great batch of performers this month, so definitely you should come out and watch us!
And, as usual, Uncle Lumpy loves you all too much to choose favorites, but I have no such compunctions, so here’s the best comment of, well, the last couple of days, at least:
“We always assumed that the Phantom was an old colonial imperialist, but think about it! There is an old Bandar compound that stops blood loss and pain, but none of the past Phantoms ever used it to help the hemophiliac descendants of the arch-imperialist Queen Victoria. It also means that there must have been The Ghost Who Enables the Decay of the Tsarist Regime and Opens the Way to the Workers’ Revolution. Maybe when Marx was talking about a spectre haunting Europe, he had something more concrete in mind…” –Ettorre
And the very funny runners up!
“I love how, in his indignation at people questioning his intelligence, he’s also confused about whether or not they’re questioning his intelligence. ‘Hey Cherry? What’s a fuckwit? Is it something good?’” –Thomas Nolte, on Facebook
“I really like how it looks as though Guran is trying to upsell Phantom on some extras. ‘Ok, you’ve got the compound that stops the blood loss and pain, but this one makes sure you don’t get too much scar tissue. And if you have two bottles you really should have the carrying case…’” –pugfuggly
“Whatcha gonna do, Mark, come to my house and slam my head into my keyboard to ‘teach me a lesson’ about making snarky comments about you online? Why don’t you stick to teaching me lessons about the migratory habits of banana slugs you dumb sack ofshufwsepuihgriuhwsefgruiwshrg uiwgruihifgtwerguih
drggegrg greerge4t5efdrgwgtyrehtd” –The Silent Penultimate Panel
“Of course a plugger’s ‘honey-do’ list grows on long weekends. It’s important to keep him busy so they don’t have to spend any time together.” –nescio
“Pluggers adhere to a central doublethink principle where they are simultaneously the principled, hard-working salt of the earth and the laziest bastards in existence.” –TheDiva
“Why don’t they just go the full-on Scandinavian and put slashes through the o’s in ‘Voof‘? In for an øre, in for a krone, I always say.” –Pozzo
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