Metapost: Christmas AND comedy AND COTW!
I’m not quite ready to sign off on comics-mocking for the decade yet, but nevertheless, this’ll be your last COTW for a while, so enjoy it! BUT FIRST: enjoy the anticipation of the first Internet Read Aloud of the ’20s, coming your way in only two weeks!
Here’s the Facebook event! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BE THERE!
Like I said, I’ve got a few more days of comics mocking in me, so please refresh ad-serving joshreads dot com pages constantly for updates, but for now, here’s your comment … of the week!
“Leroy has figured out the truth. The DEA never inspects ‘Tube Socks.’ Month after month, socks come up from Colombia. Month after month, Leroy repackages them and sends them on. Month after month, Leroy is paid well for this and, month after month, he refuses to spend a dime of it to do a damn thing for Loretta. The money just sits there, accruing interest, and Leroy imagines dying first. Loretta at the lawyer’s office for the reading of the will. ‘The remainder of the estate, amounting to $15 million in cash, is left to … the fire. I am directed to burn it all, and I quote, in front of my wife.’ It’ll be so great, Leroy thinks. Just wish I could be there to see it.” –Voshkod
And your very funny runners up!
“‘What’s new in the funeral home business?’ He’s got his reporter’s notebook out, which makes his question legit, so I guess he’s expecting to publish a big scoop in tomorrow’s Treetops Tattler. At least, Brookins/MacNelly didn’t go with an answer of ‘nothing, it’s a dying industry.’” –Just John
“God, look at the shit-eating (sorry) grin on Marvin in the last panel. That is the face of sociopathic malice, right there. ‘Yeah, I gave my mom post-partum depression,’ he’s thinking, ‘Life is good.’” –TheDiva
“Apparently, Lorenzo was a magician who would escape from an alligator. He couldn’t do that now — the animal-rights folks would be all over him, and buying a new alligator every day has gotten super-expensive.” –BigTed
“No one else ever interacts with Harry. I think he’s a ghost that haunts Becky.” –Tom T.
“Okay, look, we all know I make these stupid puns to delay actually making you guys play anything, because whenever you do, it sounds like an owl fucking a capybara, which I realize is a highly specific comparison to make, but hey, the poster’s on the door for a reason.” –els
“I’m not sure how I feel about the comic pointing out its own inability to tell jokes. If Batuik mocks his own comics so we don’t have to, aren’t we all out of a job?” –JJ48
“Sure, shoppers, there is a pissy-faced girl blocking the path and throwing off a hundred-foot zone of ‘don’t-give-a-shit,’ but that plain, black lettering on a white posted board ‘Visit Santa’ sign is inviting, right?” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
“I know this isn’t really a ‘gag a day’ strip, but is there supposed to be a joke in there? I mean, it sure looks like Cayla finds the idea of her husband alone and miserable at Christmas kinda funny, which, yeah, I guess I kinda get.” –pugfuggly
“When you’re an experienced country doctor, you don’t start right off with, ‘Whoa, that’s a hell of a shiner you’ve got there!’ You lead up to it with small talk first.” –Peanut Gallery
“Estelle, Wilbur is not any better to be around when he’s predictable.” –Rosstifer
“If you keep missing Wilbur, maybe you should hire a hit man? I hear they don’t miss.” –ZeroWolf
“Dagwood said no to putting this product on his head. He ended up wearing it anyway and walked away reflecting how the person who gave it to him was right not to accept his rejection. And now multiple people are giving him nigh identical greetings, one telling him how good he looks for wearing it, all smiling and friendly in the midst of what should be frustrating purchasing sprees. Are there any ways to read that other than a mind control cult? Probably, but they rely on the idea that ‘extendo licks’ proved a good idea, so I’m ignoring them.” –pachoo
“That ‘sniff‘ reminds us that for decades pluggers thought fuzzy dice were air fresheners.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid
“So she used Google to find other, more interesting book readings in the area.” –nescio
“Panel two shows a man who is both terrified and getting exactly what he wants simultaneously. Mark secretly always wants a bear attack. You think when he’s talking to Cherry or, god forbid, Rusty, he isn’t praying for a bear to come bounding in? Of course he is! This Himalayan red is a manifestation of Mark’s subconscious, much as the Id Monster is for Dr. Morbius in Forbidden Planet.” –Joe Blevins
“I have bear repellent! Unfortunately I only brought enough for one person. Later bitches! Ha Haw!” –Danielakiiki
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