Metapost: Live, laugh (at the comments of the week), love
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This week’s ……. top comment!
“My Gram loved colors. Shapes, too … she was really into shapes. Textures, aromas … most of the letters of the alphabet … she was kind of a Renaissance woman, I guess.” –Pozzo
And the very hilarious runners up!
“Today’s revelation that you can’t spell Funky Winkerbean without ‘KY’ will haunt me for the rest of the week.” –nescio
“‘We no longer call our presidents ‘Honest Abe’! Mostly because there has been only one president named Abraham and it would be silly to call ‘Honest Abe’ a George or a John. Sure, lack of honesty is also a problem, but not so much as lack of Abrahams.” –Ettorre
“This Judge Parker may seem to have the most throwaway-able of throwaway panels, but papers who choose to run only the second and third rows are depriving their readers of an excellent opportunity to admire Neddy’s hair. Look at the sheen, the bounce, the luster! That hair is better cared for than any part of your body, that’s for sure!” –Joe Blevins
“Snuffy may not be an educated man, but he’s not stupid. Chicken farm owners press charges for burglary, but you know who doesn’t? The dead.” –jroggs
“I’m really hoping Jeremy Cartwright is a fat, balding method actor who persistently asks Mark questions like ‘What was your mother like?’ and ‘How old were you when you lost your virginity?’ And I hope he breaks into the cabin late at night, eats the leftover pink and orange stuff Cherry so lovingly prepared, and spreads Mark’s pomade all over his chest hair.” –made of wince
“You just know Sarge’s ‘after’ shots involve a toilet. You just know it.” –Voshkod
“I’m sitting next to the guy who wrote Lisa’s Story. Also, I’m, like, one of the leads of the movie, and a major movie star, and the studio should have told you that they’re expecting me on set? Also, since when do security guards explain what movie they’re filming instead of just saying ‘lot’s closed’? This is easily one of the top, I dunno, forty things about this storyline that are completely unbelievable.” –Green Luthor
“Now that Dawn is settled down with a nice ugly Star Wars nerd instead of gallivanting around with foreigners and clubbing with yoga-practicing college professors, Mary needs a new young protégé to keep on the straight and narrow path of respectability. Look at her focusing her gaze, laser-like, on that tuft of pink hair, like a bohemian weed that needs to be trimmed. Gonna have you shopping at H&M before the summer’s end young lady, just in time to thank your father for crushing socialism in the global south.” –Dan
“This is of course June’s fantasy of what happened, and like so many of her fantasies, the rugged Dr. Keith shows up at some point.” –Jenna
“Rex is annoyed because his friend, Dr. Darkest Timeline Mark Trail, is explaining things to him like you would a 5-year-old. ‘Dude, we went to medical school together!’ ‘I remember, ol’ pal. Now, the ankle is a joint above the foot…’” –BigTed
“It’s nice to see the kids recognize that Hi and Lois’s days are numbered so they’re practicing their self-satisfied but wholly unearned smirks in hopes of getting jobs in the Funkyverse.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Snuffy’s drool droplets are indistinguishable from the strip’s usual sweat droplets. Is he just sweating out of his mouth? Does everyone in this strip sweat out of their mouths instead of their skin? Are their giant, flapping tongues some kind of cooling adaptation, like the giant ears of a desert fox? I have never been more interested in this strip than I am right now.” –Mr. A
“Even though it hurts her soul afresh every time, Loweezy always sets out a plump stack of ones and quarters to distract Snuffy from the fact that she keeps meticulous records of his extralegal income, and apparently has been doing so for DECADES. When the revenooers finally descend en masse, well, Snuffy, let’s just say that Hootin’ Holler hath no fury like a woman scorned.” –Doctor Moreau
“I’ll save you the trouble: It’s that antique pocket watch he always has with him. Mr. Trail don’t approve of them newfangled electronic gizmos.” –Peanut Gallery
“Jeremy seems pretty polite for a Hollywood bad boy, with the ‘Mr. Trail’s and all. OTOH, he did say ‘me and Mr. Trail’ putting himself first where usage dictates he should be second. The tension! I can’t stand it!” –But What Do I Know?
“The sheriff is definitely bribing the doc in the last panel, right? I’m assuming ‘kickbacks’ is their code word for some kind of opiate that will keep Snuffy in a pacified haze, or if nothing else at least make him slightly less prone to biting.” –Brad
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