With literally no ado: this week’s top comment!
“Man, I can not wait for Mark Trail to tell us about the flora and fauna of Guantanamo Bay. ‘As I enter my fifth year of captivity as an enemy combatant, let’s look again at the common iguana. I call her Shirley. She’s my wife now.’” –Voshkod
Are the runners up almost as funny? You better believe it
“Max is looking all like, ‘You can steal hats from here? I’m totally stealing this hat! Solve this, Slylock!’” –Jfp
“Oh, are you thinking of buying a new hat, Max? Maybe interested in a new look? Yeah? That’s nice. You know what else would be nice? It would be nice if you finally got a shirt, freakshow.” –made of wince
“And the model for Wendy’s time machine is this desk lamp! And all the trees I draw are modeled on these paintbrushes! The thing is, I’m chained to this desk.” –Peanut Gallery
“The buried lede here is that the Wilsons have some sort of animal infestation they are about to have dealt with. The neighbor’s kid is still running around their house, though. So either they actually can’t stop him and George is sort of right, or they’re that indifferent to his health and safety and are the real menaces. (The second seems more interesting so I am guessing the first.)” –pachoo
“I have several warrants for arrest outstanding, so I avoid intersecting with police personnel whenever possible.” –Just John
“RIP Trixie” –matt w
“Beetle Bailey’s shape shifting powers did not come without a cost, as those who lost their lives when the building behind him suddenly shrank can attest.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“Who are you talking to, Buck? Rex left the room as soon as he heard ‘no.’” –Mr. A
“Hi can’t really cook but his kids aren’t much good at making puns so nobody’s perfect.” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“Hmm, which magazine was Dagwood test-reading? Oh, there’s one called Food. Do you think it was Food?” –Rita Lake
“Menacing and non-menacing: the two genders.” –Ettore
“C’mon, give me a break! My employment situation is precarious at best and my wife’s catering business is cratering because of the pandemic, so I have to be more prudent with my discretionary spending! It’s either slash my $1,000/week grocery budget, stop eating lunch at the world’s worst diner, or save $5 a pop by reading magazines for free! You do the math!” –Doctor Moreau
“Mary listens intently as Saul remarks about ‘long lags’ in Eve’s ‘response time.’ Has he stumbled upon her plan to replace the residents of Charterstone with robots? Damn, she thinks, I knew I shouldn’t have released Eve 2.11 until I got her Unix
nicevalues optimized. Now Mary faces a tough choice: re-direct Saul away from his suspicions with muffins and platitudes, or feed him those week-old salmon(ella) squares and get it over with?” –Hannibal’s Lectern
“Eve was no lady, Jeffy. Read the story critically.” –jenna
“I guess a GTO is a car or something, and when Doug says ‘Found it in a barn, rebuilt it with my dad,’ I understand intellectually what he’s referring to. But with his oddly proportioned hand filling up half the frame, I have a hard time keeping my brain from drifting to wondering if his hand was rebuilt following a grisly accident in the barn, perhaps, and yet no girl can compete with it? Doug, honey, I frankly think you can do better than that fugly old hand. Gross!” –Duke of Early Grey
“I’m surprised that Dustin’s Dad was so intent on making a joke about his wife that he didn’t take the time to complain about his failure son talking with his mouth full.” –nescio
“When I consider how my shots are spent,
Ere half the game, in this dark world and wide.
And that one talent which is Loss to hide
Lodg’d with me useless.
‘Doth Coach exact day-labor, light-denied,’
I foolish ask.
But Mimi to prevent that murmur soon replies,
Milford hath no need of lock-down defense.
Who best bear my incompetent yoke serve me best.
They also serve who only stand and wait.” –But What Do I Know?
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