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Beetle Bailey, 8/12/22

Wow, we all spent a lot of time making fun Beetle Bailey as a “lazy bum” and a “moron” and a “disgrace to the U.S. military,” but it turns out he’s quite capable of using his military training to quickly and accurately assess threats to unit’s current position. Unfortunately, his “unit” consists of three guys in a trench with two WWI-era rifles between them and they’re about to be annihilated by artillery fire, but still, it’s nice to know he’s not the dummy we all thought he was.

Gil Thorp, 8/12/22

I apologize for my earlier misstatement: Marty Moon doesn’t have a radio show, he has a podcast, which he records at a radio station, but still: he’s moved away from tired, legacy media like radio waves and is now in tune with what the hip kids are into with their iPhones and cyberspace and stuff, because he is a media leader who keeps up with the times. Either that or WDIG won’t let him do live on-air stuff anymore, ever since “the incident.”

Marvin, 8/12/22

Marvin’s grandpa’s friend (no, I’m not going to try to remember his name and I never will) really has spent the entire week staring his own mortality and failure as a person in the face, but it’s almost the weekend so today we’re gonna “have a little fun” (talk about the cruel games he and his wife play because they have come to despite each other but cannot imagine being apart).