Metapost: Long weekend COTW
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Whether you have Monday off or you’ll be working hard on Saturday and Sunday, let today’s comment of the week lift you up:
“Harwoods! Just checking to see if you recognize me, Rene Belluso, through this disguise! No? Good! Carry on … for now.” –bbofun
And the runners up are for everyone, all the time!
“‘Postage and gas prices are so high it’s cheaper to mail something across town than to drive it’ is the long thought lost fourth paradox of Zeno.” –Hibbleton
“Snap! Don’t you hate it when you’re so busy taking a picture, you don’t even realize that you should follow up with some selfies because you’re smiling the best selfie smile ever? Flip that phone, Marty! You look super-smug and particularly well-groomed.” –made of wince
“I own two dachshunds and dachshund owners are a crazy bunch, so let me offer you some advice, Mary: unless you want to answer a bunch of angry strongly worded letters, keep your hands off the wiener.” –Old Man Shadow
“Pluggers always take their walks in graveyards, as it’s a pretty convenient place to drop dead from light exercise.” –pugfuggly
“I was going to say something about Saul thinking to himself in exposition when I realized that the second panel could well be a dire warning that the new storyline may be about him trying to meet a comely young woman to charm and eventually bear his child.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“I know ‘Dawg’ is just the dog’s actual name but Trixie thoughtballooning ‘Sorry dawg, I gotta move‘ is an order of magnitude funnier than anything appearing in that strip this month.” –MRNA Loy, on Twitter
“Soon the players and coaches are all blindfolded. They wait for instructions, but hear none. Eventually, they remove their blindfolds and find the blind man and their wallets gone.” –ectojazzmage
“‘I started to lose my vision while pitching a game.’ ‘While playing?’ ‘No, I was in the corporate offices of Milton Bradley pitching them the idea of Blindfolded Twister. Ironic, huh?’” –Weaselboy
“Wikipedia provides the backstory: ‘In 2002, Sunbeam emerged from bankruptcy as American Household, Inc (AHI). Sunbeam was owned by Jarden Consumer Solutions after Jarden’s acquisition in 2004, which was itself later purchased by Newell Rubbermaid (now Newell Brands).’ Then it was spun off again and purchased by Foofram Industries, where none of the top execs wanted to be bothered with it, and that’s how the company fell into Hi Flagston’s lap! His best strategy is to get Thirsty put in charge, which should result in another bankruptcy within 6 months.” –Peanut Gallery
“Appropriately, a popular legacy comic strip inherited by the sons of its creator and now its third artist is making a case for easy success with no personal direct effort.” –Hobbes Fan
“Also, if you wear a loud shirt it makes it easier for Life to spot and avoid you.” –nescio
“I do like the subtly ominous way the shadows grow in Skyler’s drink as the old man talks of mortality. Symbolic of his loss of innocence, the more the fledgling listens to the old … uh … stork? Crane? Cormorant? Heron? Uh, never mind … where was I … ah, yes, symbolic of his loss of innocence, the more the fledgling listens to the old bird, the darker his soda, and his future, become. If only the species of the birds was as easy to see as the foreboding omen.” –Voshkod
“There are indeed people who use the phrase ‘you are allowed one starch with your meal,’ and they’re all employees of food service government contractors. Roz’s diner is just a side gig where she serves up the leftovers from her primary job at the local prison cafeteria.” –jroggs
“You can tell us, Silver! We’re just the friendly people reading your expository internal monologue!” –matt w
“I’ll give Shoe this much: selling crappy diner food is in fact a new frontier in findom. (You do not want to know what the Perfesser has to do to get to dessert.)” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
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56 replies to “Metapost: Long weekend COTW”
Congratulations to bbofun and the Floaters and the Scroters:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cheech wizard
May 20th, 2023 at 7:10 am Reply
MW – Meanwhile, the woman at the other table is texting her husband, “See that couple at the other table? Talking with their mouths full?”
MKay
May 20th, 2023 at 5:00 am Reply
MW: “And furthermore…Why aren’t you writing this down, Jeff? This is gold, here!”
RMMD: “C’mon, let’s go find some other performers that won’t meet our lofty expectations!”
Hibbleton
May 20th, 2023 at 4:43 am Reply
JP: City kid Eric feels slighted when Buttercup refuses a handful of mothballs.
Conynaut
May 20th, 2023 at 8:58 am Reply
Abbey’s decided her next scheme will be the first porno studio where all the performers are orphans
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 20th, 2023 at 11:03 am Reply
JP: You just know that Abbey telling Sophie, “I have an idea…if you’re willing to help” will eventually lead to the Spencer-Drivers motoring away from Cavelton as it’s enveloped by a mushroom cloud. Perhaps the tragic and pretty stable boy can go with them if he proves himself sufficiently amusing.
cheech wizard
May 20th, 2023 at 7:14 am Reply
JP – I don’t think Abbey would do something so vulgar and passe as trying to mate Eric and Sophie. No, I think she wants Sophie’s help in cutting him off at the waist and stitching him onto one of the horses to create a centaur. So she can fuck it.
Ukulele Ike
May 20th, 2023 at 8:10 am Reply
@cheech wizard: You win!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rube
May 20th, 2023 at 6:27 am Reply
I would almost swear I have seen old Hi and Lois strips where Thirsty and Irma have children (and where she’s not named Irma). I am guessing that even in the Eisenhower era, a degenerate alcoholic ignoring his kids didn’t seem funny. (Of course, a degenerate alcoholic ignoring his wife is always hilarious.)
Flipper
May 20th, 2023 at 8:04 am Reply
H&L: It was pretty bold of Thirsty to say “Nah, your kids are enough” right to Hi’s face. But I guess if Hi still hasn’t wondered why his kids all look like Thirsty, there probably wasn’t much danger.
Hibbleton
May 20th, 2023 at 8:30 am Reply
H&L: “Do you and Irma miss having kids…since Child Protective Service took your twins and placed them with us?”
Dennis Jimenez
May 20th, 2023 at 8:54 am Reply
H&L – Thursty has a point – that constant annoying diaper stink…oh wait…that’s Thursty’s Depends(TM)….
BB – Only the dead have seen the end of war.
Euripides
Mrs. Jon Arbuckle
May 20th, 2023 at 6:40 am Reply
Beetle Bailey – I did not expect a goofy legacy comic strip to make a poignant observation about the perpetual war machine enabled by the military-industrial complex, which eventually broke the Baby Boomers’ pacifist spirit and turned them all into cocaine-snorting capitalists.
Tabby Lavalamp
May 20th, 2023 at 8:19 am Reply
The thing about those foxholes in *checks calendar* 2023 is that the sandbags cost $80,000 each and that was during Raytheon’s Presidents Day sale. At least Plato is aware that they’re just there to feed the military industrial complex.
Wolflord
May 20th, 2023 at 9:56 am Reply
Beetle Bailey takes a hard pivot into the world of hard hitting political commentary as the troops join the war in the Ukraine. Look for the strip next week in the Opinion section between the political cartoons and Doonesbury.
Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
May 20th, 2023 at 8:27 am Reply
It’s been some time since Beetle Bailey introduced a new character. This is now it happens: first a non-speaking role, then hanging around, and next thing you know it’s like they’ve been there all along. So I have great hopes for PFC Bang there, the military man with a rifle and rage issues. Here comes hilarity!
I speak Jive
May 20th, 2023 at 9:24 am Reply
FC – Wow. It would have taken a fraction of a second to put a small orange blot at the end of the barrels of those toy guns, like toy weapons have now. He must have figured that there was no console TV or dial telephone, so it could just run as is.
Jef Keane needs to take a good look at these old strips and actually think about them and how things have changed in the forty years since they originally ran. I hope the melonheads don’t take those toys to school.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jroggs
May 20th, 2023 at 6:59 am Reply
Luann: As bad as other comics (particularly Funkyshaft) are with wordplay, this one might low-key be the worst. Luann has it all: massive reaching, inappropriate and forced delivery or sources, tonal whiplash, running the joke into the ground, self congratulation and pre-emptive disowning, and just being overall weak. On its face, Piro’s quip today may not seem as bad as the several weeks of “[adjective]-tea” puns, but considering he’s supposedly meeting the girl of his dreams right after vulnerably pouring his heart out in front of a crowd of people, this is especially atrocious. What a stupid thing to have this character say in this moment. It’s like if Old Yeller ended with Travis shooting his beloved pet and then saying, “Well, doggone!” while grinning and winking at the camera.
Hugh G. Rection
May 20th, 2023 at 7:48 am Reply
Blondie: It’s always fun to check under the clit hood.
Kit Crawler
May 20th, 2023 at 7:52 am Reply
@Hugh G. Rection:
And it doesn’t require that the Bumstead boys give up their love of eating!
Voshkod
May 20th, 2023 at 8:01 am Reply
“The Bumsteads aren’t most people. I mean, there are only four of them, and seven billion people, so the Bumsteads are . . . just a second, let me pull up my calculator, Bumsteads are only 0.000000057143 percent of people. Or 0.000000028571 percent of people if we’re just talking about Alex and Dagwood. Definitely not most people.”
pastordan
May 20th, 2023 at 8:04 am Reply
Blondie: It’s unusual to see the Photoshop layers so cleanly divided in a daily strip—usually they do a better job of combining things so it looks almost like a single, hand-made drawing. Anyway, now accepting bets on what the grill layer was when they first came up with this joke. Personally, I’m going with a Martin Marietta SM-68A/HGM-25A Titan I intercontinental ballistic missile, and Herb was a Soviet spy.
Inspector Gotcha
May 20th, 2023 at 5:05 am Reply
GT: Gil immediately books flights to Japan AND Taiwan. “Two can play this game, Martinez-Hernandez!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Liam
May 20th, 2023 at 1:09 pm Reply
Crankshaft-“Alright,” Cranky says excitedly, “Bigger game for me to run down.”
Everything Is Better With Monkeys
May 21st, 2023 at 7:02 am Reply
RMMD – We found out he was gone a few days ago, but this is the first I’ve seen you and thought I’d give you a heads up. Totally our bad. I mean, whoopsy-doodle doesn’t cover it. Here’s a voucher for one free top-shelf cocktail, tip not included. Good luck!
The Rambling Otter
May 21st, 2023 at 6:54 am Reply
I for one and looking forward to this cruise-ship mystery where almost all of the passengers get killed off one-by-one.
We won’t get Hercule Poirot nor Miss Marple.
Even Granny from “Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries” is overqualified for this
(Although I wouldn’t say she’s a bad detective)
Hibbleton
May 21st, 2023 at 7:11 am Reply
RMMD: Not sure what Belluso’s endgame is. In modern cruise disembarking, your feet aren’t touching US soil without the proper paperwork. Perhaps, he’s condemned to forever sail the seven seas on country-music themed Disney cruises hunted by obsessed private detective Hank Jr in the spin-off strip Clodumbo.
ectojazzmage
May 21st, 2023 at 7:24 am Reply
Rex Morgan: How incompetent is this cruise line that their brig couldn’t contain a middle aged con artist with no appreciable physical capability? How would Rene even get out? What did he just say “fuck this” and open his cell door?
pastordan
May 21st, 2023 at 7:46 am Reply
The entirety of my waking hours will now be devoted to finding Rene Belluso skulking in the background of Rex Morgan, M.D. panels. Thanks a lot, Terry Beatty, couldn’t you at least give him a striped hat and sweater?
Sir Oracle
May 21st, 2023 at 9:04 am Reply
RMMD: I for one enjoy that this strip is turning into Slylock Fox for old people. “Can you spot Rene in the background of this strip, readers?” Of course, Rex Morgan, M.D. readers aren’t as savvy as young children so they’ve got to do endless variations on “hitherto unseen man in hat and/or beard within 5 feet of our main characters.” (Hint: Anyone in panel 3 fit that description?)
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 21st, 2023 at 5:14 pm Reply
RMMD: “Our only theory is that some idiot said something about how Mr. Belluso wouldn’t be bothering anyone for a long time, thereby assuring he’d escape according to the Laws of Fiction.”
Lark L
May 21st, 2023 at 7:25 am Reply
Rex Morgan, MD: I’m not saying any newspaper comic is like Barry, but I am saying this is the most Barry-like one.
Ukulele Ike
May 21st, 2023 at 7:08 am Reply
MW: Is that —A FROZEN LOSTER TAIL next to Dr. Jeff’s gray piece of beef? Did this sneaky fucker go behind EVERYONE’S back — probably claiming to go and take a leak — stick his head into the kitchen — and CHANGE HIS ORDER? “Hold the clam chowder and strip steak….I want SURF N’ TURF!”
Vile bastard.
Horace Broon
May 21st, 2023 at 9:29 am Reply
MW: Anybody surprised that Mary considers “neutral expressions” to be the ultimate declaration of love? Anyone at all?
White Rabbit
May 21st, 2023 at 10:01 am Reply
MW: In the category of synchronicity, today I have an email from the New York Times with the subject line, “The secret to better salmon is salt.”
gardenornament
May 21st, 2023 at 10:40 am Reply
MW: It looks like Mary is going braless again. Arrgh! My eyes!
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ettorre
May 21st, 2023 at 7:12 am Reply
BB: The General is regretting the endless bureaucratisation of the military profession. In the old days, chiefs and subordinates did not express mutual dissatisfaction through surveys and forms, but by Uriah gambits and fragging.
Myrtle
May 21st, 2023 at 7:45 am Reply
GA: I suppose using the internet to send information or make payments is out of the question here. Maybe they could save both postage and gas if they got off their lardasses and WALKED across town.
pastordan
May 21st, 2023 at 8:01 am Reply
Gasoline Alley: A farmer friend of ours had his own tank of gas and pump, as many farmers do. His daughter related the scoldings she and her sisters would get for filling up their cars at home because “That’s not free, you know!”
This has been another edition of “Mild stories that are nevertheless more entertaining than Gasoline Alley.”
Arabella
May 21st, 2023 at 7:57 am Reply
Pluggers: Have Andy Bear and Sheila Roo split up? Because I can’t believe she would let him go to the doctor’s office wearing a food-stained shirt. Or ___-stained underwear either.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guillermo el chiclero
May 21st, 2023 at 8:49 am Reply
FC: Down in front, Dolly. Your ponytail is covering up the best part of your mom’s rack.
Liam
May 21st, 2023 at 4:53 pm Reply
FC-“My mommy has to stimulate my daddy into giving her a pearl necklace.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 21st, 2023 at 5:19 pm Reply
FC: I’d say the program Thel is watching with three guys catching flies is weirder than anything Dolly has to say about it.
gardenornament
May 21st, 2023 at 10:45 am Reply
Pajama Diaries: At first, I wanted to write something snarky about this strip, but I couldn’t. It’s just unironically funny.
Crock: At first, I wanted to write something snarky about this strip, but I couldn’t. It’s so unfunny that it’s not even ironcially funny.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hibbleton
May 22nd, 2023 at 5:03 am Reply
FC: “Oh, you’re still funny, Jeffy…but it’s the kind of ‘funny’ that gets a syndrome named after you.”
DtM: “Try this one, Padre: ‘What to do if a woman grabs your genitals.’ I bet that will fill the pews.”
(Deuteronomy 25:11-12)
MW: Can we start a gofundme to make the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade balloon of Eve linked to by Josh a reality?
Little Blue Bicycle
May 22nd, 2023 at 4:43 am Reply
MW: “Greta why don’t you want to go to the park? Wait, what is this? Mayonnaise on your bow tie and fur? That’s it, Weston has to be suppressed! Where are my steak knives?”
MKay
May 22nd, 2023 at 5:41 am Reply
MW: The exam room door closes. Eve and Ed embrace passionately. They know that Saul is safely occupied at the park and Estelle is too stupid/busy cleaning up droppings to suspect anything.
Philip
May 22nd, 2023 at 4:49 am Reply
Mary Worth – I can’t look at the “Adopt Don’t Shop” sign and not imagine the local animal shelters also have a poster of Wilbur with “Do NOT Adopt Out To This Man” written on them.
Merry Mirth
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:31 am Reply
“Woof! [Why, yes, I would love to go to the park, even though all the other dogs will make fun of me for having to wear this ridiculous bow tie. Because it sure beats sitting around here watching you decay.”]
Voshkod
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:34 am Reply
Ah, dogs. A simple woof can mean so much. “Yes, I want to go to the park.” “Hello, pet me.” “Excuse me, but I am hungry.” “Hey, asshole, take the fucking bowtie off me. I’m not Louis Farrakhan!”
Ukulele Ike
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:43 am Reply
@Voshkod: Saul’s original name for Greta was “The Honorable Late Senator from the Great State of Illinois, Paul Simon,” but it proved to be a bit of a mouthful.
Voshkod
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:58 am Reply
@Ukulele Ike: I will name my next dog “The Honorable Late Senator from the Great State of Illinois, Paul Simon,” just so I can shout across the dog park “stop humping that German shepherd’s leg, The Honorable Late Senator from the Great State of Illinois, Paul Simon!”
pastordan
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:58 am Reply
Mary Worth: Calling it now: the real tension in this strip is going to involve whether June Brigman sticks with analogous color schemes, or if she moves to something like a triad or a complementary. In the case an over-the-top major event, like the return of Aldo Kelrast, we could even get a double split complementary, but whoa whoa whoa, let’s not get all crazy here, let’s just take things one #e5eae4 and #8fb5cc combo at a time, shall we?
Old School Allie Cat
May 22nd, 2023 at 8:06 am Reply
Mary Worth – I know I’ve kvetched about this before, but not all that recently, so indulge me – this is a strip that has a format perfect for introducing new characters WHENEVER THEY WANT. So why do we keep leaning on the same, small, homogenized cast?
#MaryWorthSoWhite
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
taig
May 22nd, 2023 at 5:42 am Reply
GT: I can’t say I’ve seen a tribute like this to Al Jaffee. I don’t mean that in a good way.
pugfuggly
May 22nd, 2023 at 4:41 am Reply
GT To truly honour the memory of Al Jaffee, I printed out this strip and folded it in thirds. It doesn’t make much sense, but there’s 33% less Gil Thorp to look at, which I consider a win. Thanks, Al!
nescio
May 22nd, 2023 at 5:50 am Reply
GT: Stupid dedication to snappy artist.
jroggs
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:46 am Reply
GT: Dedicated to the late Al Jaffee, a pervert known for secretly photographing minors, apparently.
TheDiva
May 22nd, 2023 at 7:02 am Reply
GT: I get wanting to honor Al Jaffee. He was an icon, a man who lived a long, full, and influential life, and few are the humorists and comics artists of a certain age who have not been entertained and influenced by his work. But throwing a generic Mad cover randomly into one of the fifteen plots you’re trying to juggle is not what I would call a tribute to his life’s work.
pastordan
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:48 am Reply
Gil Thorp: Milford Athletic Department, MAD magazine? Work with it.
TheDiva
May 22nd, 2023 at 7:23 am Reply
C’shaft: “Dad, I told you to get toilet paper when you were at Costco last week…”
Unreliable DependsSequiturMay 22nd, 2023 at 10:21 am Reply
I know why Crankshaft wants the newspaper in the bathroom. He loves to piss on the comics.
Inspector Gotcha
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:27 am Reply
CS: “Dad, the delivery guy has only one arm, so cut him some slack. You’ll just have to hold it in.”
RMMD: “So I’m sorry to say, we won’t be able to dock until we find him. We’ll just keep sailing up and down the coast until then. Hope this doesn’t inconvenience you.”
Bob Tice
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:29 am Reply
RMMD:
“How confident are you that you and your intrepid seafaring staff will be able to locate Mr. Belluso before he is able to engage in more nefarious felonious activity, Captain?”
“Let me put it to you this way, Mr. Harwood: I wouldn’t be standing so close to the rail if I were you!”
TheDiva
May 22nd, 2023 at 7:23 am Reply
RMMD: “On behalf of the Carnvial Corporation, we apologize for losing your attempted murderer and would like to offer you a $500 future cruise credit good on any sailing departing before May 25, 2025…”
(A cruise line did lose my luggage once, which was annoying enough–“It’s not like this is an airport and you accidentally sent it to Dubuque, it’s either on the boat or at the pier!” It worked out in the long run, so hopefully Hank and Yvonne can look forward to having Rene mailed to them a few months later.)
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Morning WoodSequiturMay 22nd, 2023 at 10:27 am Reply
Heathcliff: If you wake up with a bone-in ham under your pillow you’ve had a very busy night.
Pozzo
May 23rd, 2023 at 4:38 am Reply
DtM: Looks like George has chosen a biography of Lizzo as his reading matter du jour.
Chance
May 23rd, 2023 at 4:39 am Reply
Dennis Minus Dennis, eh? It seems a little forced. Even Mister Wilson’s pants are unhappy to be taking part.
Mysterion
May 23rd, 2023 at 4:40 am Reply
DTM: Mr. Wilson’s pants don’t approve, either, and they’ve seen things…
Ukulele Ike
May 23rd, 2023 at 7:43 am Reply
Today I learned that walking among us are those who examine Mr. Wilson’s trousers every day to see if an inadvertent human expression has been included. This morning: payoff.
Schroduck
May 23rd, 2023 at 4:58 am Reply
If you’re a Plugger beast-man, your wife and your dog are the same thing, and neither of them get a big tombstone because you have more important things to spend money on, like the cargo shorts you wear to the cemetery.
nescio
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:03 am Reply
You’re a half human, half scavenger Plugger if you use Find-a-Grave as a way to locate a meal.
pugfuggly
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:07 am Reply
Pluggers: always take their walks in graveyards, as it’s a pretty convenient place to drop dead from light exercise.
Peanut Gallery
May 23rd, 2023 at 7:26 am Reply
Pluggers – I wish we could meet some of these deceased pluggers instead of the current crop. A guy with a name like Rip Houndstooth must have been fascinating!
Voshkod
May 23rd, 2023 at 7:28 am Reply
You’re a Plugger if you print out a paper map to find a Houndstooth grave because you can’t get Bluetooth to work on your phone.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ukranazi Stepan
May 23rd, 2023 at 4:44 am Reply
Wrecks Moregone:
At what point will Mrs Hankjunior realise that Hankjunior is gone, and the man posing as him is really…
…Rene Belluso?
By his ability to perform in bed, and I don’t mean singing?
Baja Gaijin
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:11 am Reply
@5 Ukranazi Stepan: When you put it that way, Yvonne may enjoy having a Beluso-based Hank Jr. rather than having the Hank Sr.-based real thing.
Inspector Gotcha
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:14 am Reply
RMMD: As the real Yvonne struggles tied up and gagged in some little-used below-decks storage closet, Rene prods Hank for information.
MW: Alriiight, I’ve got Saul in the Dead Pool, and I’ve got a good feeling about this!
made of wince
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:20 am Reply
MW: That guy with the baseball cap has a great act. With one jerk of his wrist, he commands Whitey the Dog to spit out a tennis ball, from quite a ways off. It’s a stupid trick, but they need the balls.
ectojazzmage
May 23rd, 2023 at 6:18 am Reply
Mary Worth: If Moy had any sense of humor at all, the next strip would be Saul getting nailed in the groin by that ball the other guy is throwing around in the first panel.
taig
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:50 am Reply
MW: It’s like Saul (or Karen Moy) forgot he had a previous dog.
MKay
May 23rd, 2023 at 6:19 am Reply
MW: Bad news, Saul. Greta’s been scoping out nursing homes while you nap.
TheDiva
May 23rd, 2023 at 7:17 am Reply
MW: Even my neurodivergent brain is struggling to figure out how Saul’s train of thought went from “Oh good, the dog park isn’t crowded” to “I may not have kids but at least I have my dog!” I’m guessing that, although there are certainly childfree folk who enjoy and/or are good with kids on a short-term basis, Saul is not one of them and in fact agrees with Miss Trunchbull’s view of an ideal world being completely without children.
Ettorre
May 23rd, 2023 at 8:54 am Reply
Ok, maybe eugenics is not PC or woke enough these days, but we should all agree that if Wynter reproduced instead of Wilbur, the social benefit would not have been insignificant
BigTed
May 23rd, 2023 at 11:06 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Oh good, it’s not crowded today,” says Saul, the only person so misanthropic (and zoophobic) that he prefers the dog park when it’s completely free of people and their dogs.
Weaselboy
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:33 am Reply
CS – Good lord, woman! Why are you engaging this man?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I speak Jive
May 23rd, 2023 at 9:44 am Reply
FC – I hope they’re not going to drag those melonheads to see Kramer vs Kramer. They’ll be bored out of their gourd shaped skulls. It’s a toss up as to whether PJ or Jeffy pitches the loudest fit. Dolly, of course, will spill her popcorn and loudly blame it on Jeffy.
Garrison Skunk
May 23rd, 2023 at 11:43 am Reply
The Familliar Mucus: Original 70s punchline “Thank goodness for Siskle & Ebert,they’ll tell us what to see forever!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
69 for 99SequiturMay 25th, 2023 at 4:35 am Reply
Hi and Lois: Ditto gives a shout out to 90-year-old actress Barbara Feldon with his uniform number.
Philip
May 25th, 2023 at 5:21 am Reply
Hi and Lois – Is cartoonist Eric Reaves taking a swipe at Yankee’s player Aaron Judge’s ability to play in the outfield?
Pozzo
May 25th, 2023 at 5:00 am Reply
Was Ditto drafted by the Yankees? I know they’re not having the best season, but I didn’t think that they were this desperate.
Anonymous
May 25th, 2023 at 4:47 am Reply
Hi & Lois : this comic strip features someone putting minimal effort and catching a super-easy freebie, yet acting like he hit a game-winning homerun. But enough about the artist : today, it also has drawings of Ditto Flagston playing baseball.
**********
Gil Thorp : actually, the only journalist the Milford teens know being Marty Moon WOULD lead them to be hyper-critical of journalistic ethical failures, especially from the viewpoint of “if Marty’s gotten away with all the shit he did, what Gregg’s dad did must have been EXTRA bad for him to get fired and blacklisted!”
Ettorre
May 25th, 2023 at 4:55 am Reply
GT: “Make your pitch count, because it could be the last. Speaking of pitch, also watch a lot of porn because you never know when you will lose use of your eyes. Everyone is maudlin about never seeing another sunset, but they don’t tell you how much you’ll miss the ability to watch porn, especially as it is now so plentiful. Listening to audiobook of erotica is really not the same!”
pugfuggly
May 25th, 2023 at 5:13 am Reply
GT: I know that Gil Thorp is the ultimate “tell-don’t-show” strip, but I swear to god, if we don’t get five solid days of these blindfolded kids pelting each other with baseballs and running into fence posts, I’m going to write the angriest letter…
BigTed
May 25th, 2023 at 4:42 am Reply
Gil Thorp: “Yooo, is your dad that plagiarist?” “He apologized!” “Whatever, dude. Anyhow, I have to go see if ChatGPT is done writing my English paper.”
Voshkod
May 25th, 2023 at 7:12 am Reply
Gotta say, Gil Thorp has a finger on the pulse of youth thinking. All I ever hear from my kids is how bad Steven Glass was, Janet Cooke and her Pulitzer, Jayson Blair and the damage he did to the old grey lady. Plagiarism and journalism sins are to today’s youth what grunge and hip-hop were to earlier generations.
cheech wizard
May 25th, 2023 at 11:49 am Reply
@Ettorre: Speaking of pitch, also watch a lot of porn because you never know when you will lose use of your eyes.
So that’s how Greg went blind. Also, why he had such a strong right arm.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 25th, 2023 at 12:24 pm Reply
GT: “How small was your hometown?”
“My hometown was so small that all the teenagers were up on the latest plagiarism scandals.”
Poteet
May 25th, 2023 at 11:51 am Reply
GT: I haven’t learned much about GT over the years by studying its CC appearances. But one thing I have learned is that when Josh links previous GT strips in an attempt to help some of us understand GT better, I only get more bewildered. Ye gods.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
May 25th, 2023 at 7:15 am Reply
@Voshkod: All I hear from The Youngs today is how much they enjoy vaping while they pitch blindfolded. I think it’s a Tikkety-Tok challenge?
Voshkod
May 25th, 2023 at 7:24 am Reply
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Well, sure, pitching a baseball blindfolded while vaping and discussing journalistic integrity is like getting to third base for these kids (side note: getting to third base is something no one on Coach Thorp’s team has ever done, in any sense).
Calvin’s Cardboard Box
May 25th, 2023 at 7:33 am Reply
@Voshkod: GT – “pitching a baseball blindfolded while vaping and discussing journalistic integrity is like getting to third base for these kids (side note: getting to third base is something no one on Coach Thorp’s team has ever done, in any sense).”
Stretching a double into a triple by racing for third base is the same in baseball as it is in sex. A lot of extra work for minimal extra payoff. Nobody aspires to reach third base. It’s just that you have to cross it if you want to get all the way home.
Voshkod
May 25th, 2023 at 7:36 am Reply
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Meat Loaf’s wisdom does enlighten us all.
Calvin’s Cardboard Box
May 25th, 2023 at 7:47 am Reply
@Voshkod:
Here’s the pitch, he’s going
And what a jump he’s got
He’s trying for third
Here’s the throw
It’s in the dirt, safe at third
Holy cow, stolen base
He’s taking a pretty big lead out there
Almost daring them to pick him off
The pitcher glances over, winds-up and it’s bunted
Bunted down the third base line
The suicide squeeze is on
Here he comes, squeeze play, it’s gonna be close
Here’s the throw, here’s the play at the plate
Holy cow, I think he’s gonna make it …
“It’s in the dirt”. That’s the problem with going for third base. You think you’re sliding into home, but Baseball is a game of inches….
Downpuppy
May 25th, 2023 at 7:54 am Reply
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: What, you forgot Luke “The Loner” Gofannon, (.372 lifetime) who loved triples more than sex?
Calvin’s Cardboard Box
May 25th, 2023 at 8:07 am Reply
@Downpuppy: “What, you forgot Luke “The Loner” Gofannon, (.372 lifetime) who loved triples more than sex?”
And let’s not forget George Bush, who was born on third base and thought he’d hit a triple!
Calvin’s Cardboard Box
May 25th, 2023 at 8:08 am Reply
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Of course, it would have to be the case that the subject of that punchline was named “Bush”.
Vo(u)shko(u)d
May 25th, 2023 at 8:23 am Reply
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: One should never doubt that the universe has a sense of humo(u)r.
taig
May 25th, 2023 at 6:39 am Reply
CS: “Or that very popular comic strip, Crankshaft?”
Weaselboy
May 25th, 2023 at 5:35 am Reply
CS – If you want to see Cranky actually sitting on the toilet, you have to subscribe to his OnlyFans.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Weaselboy
May 25th, 2023 at 4:38 am Reply
RMMD – Those pet names they have for each other are adorable!
Kevin On Earth
May 25th, 2023 at 5:48 am Reply
RMMD: Yvonne: “It’s Yvonne Anderson. I kept my name.”
Hank: *sigh* “Yes dear…”
Baja Gaijin
May 25th, 2023 at 6:17 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Based upon the mass release of “passengers,” I’m thinking The Harwoods just disembarked from Disney California Adventure’s newest attraction, “The Disney Cruise Experience.” The Imagineers recreated the look and feel of “The Love Boat” without having to leave Anaheim. Explains a lot of the improbabilities of this excursion, doesn’t it?
Hibbleton
May 25th, 2023 at 6:52 am Reply
RMMD: I’ve been away from this story a couple of days. Are Hank and Yvonne are walking through a field of hastily constructed mannequins or specters of the recently deceased?
Liam
May 25th, 2023 at 1:35 pm Reply
RMMD-Rene escaped by hiding in Charo’s cuchi-cuchi.
Ukranazi Stepan
May 25th, 2023 at 7:10 am Reply
Which is the most incel-oriented comic strip? I mean apart from Luann.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
brendancalling
May 26th, 2023 at 4:28 am Reply
Luann: HAHAHA, nobody wants to see Nil the Nihilist’s crappy paintings, but not because they’re crappy. It’s because, like most people in the Luanniverse, they’re all about age 5 mentally and are attracted to bright images of cartoon animals.
Guillermo el chiclero
May 26th, 2023 at 8:05 am Reply
Luann: The only person interested in Nil’s nostril paintings would be Bil Keane.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pugfuggly
May 26th, 2023 at 5:08 am Reply
BB: Man, Sarge’s face in that last panel is something to behold. Do you figure that he’s intimidated by Lugg sexually, or that he just remembered that two portions of chili that his sphincter is barely containing?
Ettorre
May 26th, 2023 at 5:17 am Reply
Mort Walker drew plenty of Beetle Bailey comics with nudity and sex, which he could only publish in Sweden, but he wished he could deal with sex in the US strips. This is a very rare case where a legacy strip actually honours its creator and respect his mandate
Skedastic
May 26th, 2023 at 8:43 am Reply
Listen, I am all about celebrating different body types, but holy smokes what is happening with Sgt. Lugg’s legs? Her featureless, kneeless, untapered legs? Both of them together could fit in her forearm. Both of them together could fit in her *mouth*! Her femur must be the width of a pencil! What bizarre material are those legs made of, to support the weight of a normal human body atop them? What do they *end in*? Sarge’s rictus of terror isn’t so much about emotional commitment as it is about having his shoulder dislocated by a Lovecraftian horror that’s been hiding in plain, olive-drab-clad sight. (Although he’s probably used to the Lovecraftian horror part, given whatever the hell is going on with everyone’s ears.)
Dennis Jimenez
May 26th, 2023 at 8:31 am Reply
BB – Can I use your shitter?
MKay
May 26th, 2023 at 4:33 am Reply
BB: Wouldn’t it have been more expedient for Sgt. Lugg to get herself promoted until she could just ORDER that snaggle-toothed moron to service her?
MW: Greta is hiding to avoid being tongue-kissed by Saul in public. It’s just too damned embarrassing!
Inspector Gotcha
May 26th, 2023 at 5:06 am Reply
RMMD: So they’re sitting next to each other talking about nothing important. The drive back is going to be pretty much the same as the entire cruise, especially if Rene springs from the back seat and tries to push Hank out the window.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Weaselboy
May 26th, 2023 at 6:01 am Reply
FC – This looks like a minimalist staging of “So Long, Farewell” from The Sound of Music.
taig
May 26th, 2023 at 6:06 am Reply
CS: You know, there are larger devices…who gives a fuck?!?
Shoe: Starches are complex carbohydrates, and Maalox is aluminium hydroxide and magnesium hydroxide, which means no carbon, so Maalox is not a starch. WHY AM I DOING THIS?!?
Dennis Jimenez
May 26th, 2023 at 8:31 am Reply
Shoe – Starch my shorts – I’ll eat them at home….
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TheDiva
May 26th, 2023 at 8:17 am Reply
MW: Please let it be revealed that Wilbur kidnapped Greta in a desperate attempt to make himself appealing to women… (Yes, I know he tried the “adopt dog, get chicks” thing once already, but when has a little thing like failure through absolute ineptitude stopped him?)
Pluggers’ five-second rule is measured in minutes.
BigTed
May 26th, 2023 at 8:27 am Reply
Pluggers: Is the joke here that pluggers enjoy eating off the floor? Or that they’ll endure the pain of bending over only if it results in a crunchy snack? No, I think today’s panel is actually about how they can somehow open a bag of potato chips from the side, a feat that we all thought was impossible.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
69. Hannibal’s Lectern
May 21st, 2023 at 6:46 am Reply
High and Loused-Up: it appears Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor LLC’s new Large Language Model AI has included a lot of “Funky Winkerbean” strips in its training set. I am not OK with this.
69. Liam
May 22nd, 2023 at 7:24 am Reply
Gil Thorp-Life in Milford must be so boring that they have to make the selling of perfectly legal items seem like it’s illegal.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
69. The Rambling Otter
May 23rd, 2023 at 7:26 am Reply
Pluggers meanwhile would sooner get a bigger tombstone for their broken down 40-year old grill, than their wife.
69. cheech wizard
May 25th, 2023 at 7:28 am Reply
GT – “Dorothy, pitch! You’re a blindfolded pitcher throwing to a catcher who can’t see! Feel the Farce! Let the Farce be with you!”
Special “Nice Try” Award
70. Garrison Skunk
May 24th, 2023 at 8:13 am Reply
Reserved for Scratchy’s Scrotum
71. Garrison Skunk
May 24th, 2023 at 8:15 am Reply
Sorry Scratchy, I didn’t get the reserved sign down in time.
169.
Fucking Up the Entire Numbering SystemSequiturMay 24th, 2023 at 7:18 pm Reply
I just realized my numbering may be off. A comment I made over three hours ago is still in moderation. It will be counted as a comment on my computer but not on others.
Thank you, Scratchy! Much appreciated!
Thanks for the pair of Scrotes, Scratchy!
Shadow COTPWMFTLTBWL
matt w
May 19th, 2023 at 4:27 am Reply
Gasoline Alley: Is Rufus not drunk? I thought this was going to be “disturbingly alcoholic Friday.”
Tom T.
May 19th, 2023 at 4:32 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: The eating can be just as damaging as the boozing. Case in point: the bartender has more fingers than Sarge! Clearly Sarge must have gnawed one of his own off in a fit of gluttony.
Charterstoned
May 19th, 2023 at 4:32 am Reply
Mary Worth: Hey, Campers! For a fun trick, you can make Dr. Jeff morph into Wilbur, right before your very eyes! If you cover just the very top of his head with your thumb, he turns into our favorite schlub!
Charterstoned
May 19th, 2023 at 4:42 am Reply
Mary Worth: Zooming in on her fork with her phone’s camera, the woman uses her “PictureThis” app and discovers with horror that the spinach she’s been eating is actually poison ivy.
Arabella
May 19th, 2023 at 5:03 am Reply
Pluggers: You rarely see them at those fancy places where they put the ketchup bottles on the table.
Hibbleton
May 19th, 2023 at 5:08 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: Hard to tell from Beetle’s non-expression if Sarge’s order means this date-night is getting off to a good or bad start.
richardf8
May 19th, 2023 at 5:22 am Reply
Shoe: Loon is the Lucky Eddie of the Shoeniverse. He’s sad because Cosmo Fishhawk keeps eating his girlfriends.
Guillermo el chiclero
May 19th, 2023 at 6:01 am Reply
Rex Morgan: As the Hardwoods walk away Hank is thinking, “What a maroon! What an ignoranamus! What an imbecilicus! What a nincompetent!”
ectojazzmage
May 19th, 2023 at 6:07 am Reply
Gasoline Alley: Yeah, forget the hospital. All this dude needs for his head injury is to cuddle up with a donkey on a pile of hay. It’s the number one treatment for concussions as recommended by doctors.
2+2=7
May 19th, 2023 at 6:17 am Reply
Rex Morgan: Mud: “But before we get down to business Mr. Cameron, I have to go see Buck. He turned out to a terrible agent, even worse at repping me than a dim-witted con-man and nobody. So you can see why it’s very important that I apologize to him, posthaste.”
taig
May 19th, 2023 at 6:30 am Reply
Dustin: “I even went to Build-A-Bear and stuck a recording of one of the many times you said it in this stuffed hippopotamus for those days when you’re ‘working late.’”
Drew Funk
May 19th, 2023 at 6:41 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: What blasphemy is this? Alcoholism jokes are reserved for General Halftrack. Stay in your lane, Snorkel.
Weaselboy
May 19th, 2023 at 6:50 am Reply
Mary Worth: The lady is posting on Instagram: “TFW you’re trying to have a nice night out, but a couple of old people keep staring at you.”
Ukranazi Stepan
May 19th, 2023 at 6:53 am Reply
Wary Morth: There’s this thing called Minding Your Own Business. The two of you, and I don’t mean the foreground couple, might want to look into that some time.
Anonymoose
May 19th, 2023 at 7:10 am Reply
Mary Worth: Maybe that couple is not saying anything because they know that whatever they say, Mary will repeat it to Toby and everyone else in Charterstone.
oldgold
May 19th, 2023 at 7:19 am Reply
Judge Parker: Well, Sophie, except for the fire, arson charges, my marriage dissolving, losing the Mayor’s race, the Christmas Eve siege and constantly dealing with damaged children like you, things are just fabulous.
TheDiva
May 19th, 2023 at 7:42 am Reply
Dustin: “I mean, you’ve made it perfectly clear that you hate me and only keep me around to feel superior about your own mediocre, inept life…”
Sequitur
May 19th, 2023 at 7:57 am Reply
Pluggers: No, where pluggers eat the grease flows freely.
BigTed
May 19th, 2023 at 8:27 am Reply
Shoe: If you spent time at Roz’s Existential Lunch Counter — which has no food, plates, utensils, napkins, or cash registers, and “serves” nothing but empty water glasses — you’d be depressed too.
May 19th, 2023 at 9:31 am Reply
Shoe: Depressed birds poop on their own cars, not yours.
Bryan
May 19th, 2023 at 10:47 am Reply
Gasoline Alley: Is amnesia even a big deal if your head was empty to begin with? It’s not like Rufus had much knowledge to forget (though unlike Joel who’s strangely portrayed as the smarter of the two, at least Rufus can friggin’ read.)
//Comment of the Previous Week Made Far Too Late to be Worth Listing. Kudos to L’esprit de l’escalier for naming this category.
Springboard Shadow CsOTW
Lord_Flatulence
May 20th, 2023 at 8:13 am Reply
@Ukranazi Stepan: Rex Morgan: And if they rush after that, they might even be in time for the towel folding exhibition!
——————————————————
Don’t forget the men’s hairy leg and belly flop competitions.
Blast Hardcheese
May 21st, 2023 at 8:20 am Reply
@I speak Jive: Six Chix: I think that witches are almost always pictured as riding their brooms sidesaddle. Remember the cartoon credits from the Bewitched TV show?
——————————————————
It they aren’t being pictured as riding side-saddle, then you’ve got some goth babes flying around with long pieces of wood between their legs, and for some guys that just ain’t right…
Ukulele Ike
May 22nd, 2023 at 7:14 am Reply
@pastordan: Having met and shook the hand of The Honorable Late Senator from the Great State of Illinois, Paul Simon, I can attest the man was approximately dachshund-sized.
——————————————————
Hence the bowtie schtick. Better to be known around Washington as “That Senator with the bowties,” than “The teeniest little Senator ever.”
Special Long-form Shadow CsOTW
Bob Tice
May 21st, 2023 at 6:26 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “You look as if you want to utter a limerick, Captain.”
“We want to again nab Belluso
We hope that you’ll help us to do so
I’ll be rather frank —
You help catch that skank?
He’ll sing like Enrico Caruso!”
Rube
May 21st, 2023 at 6:31 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “You should know that I am extremely upset and intend to sue your cruise line.”
“Well, I understand, it doesn’t look good that we allowed a wanted criminal aboard under a false name, and inexplicably allowed him to escape from a locked cell in a confined area after he tried to murder you…”
“Huh? I mean over only hearing ‘Muddy Boots’ once all cruise.”
Charterstoned
May 24th, 2023 at 6:00 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Are you sure you weren’t a RETRIEVER in a past life? HAHA! HEH HEH HEH! HAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HOO, HOO, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—*GASP!*”
Clutches chest and keels over. Greta sniffs the dead body, woofs softly.
“Huh. Some joke. I don’t get it.”
Voshkod
May 24th, 2023 at 8:21 am Reply
Six Chix: Stan sighed. He thought membership in the Green Square Society was going to mean something. All the money he spent, the rituals, the hazing, it was all going to be worth it when he could slap down that green square on the bar in the Lodge. But no. Mocktails? The guy next to him wearing an orange shirt? This is what I paid a $12,000 initiation fee for? For this I received the 22 sacred spankings? What a waste, what a waste. The rosemary grapefruit fizz was ashes in his mouth.
Special Extra Long-form Shadow CsOTW
Charterstoned
May 21st, 2023 at 6:12 am Reply
Mary Worth: As they tucked in to their meal, Mary at first enjoyed the comfortable silence she was sharing with Jeff. The restaurant didn’t feature music, so the patrons could savor the calm with the clam. Even the view from their table was a soothing expanse of water. Mary started to relax into the moment, when Jeff took another swig from his bottle of beer. He had a way of inserting his tongue into the bottle as he took a sip, an endearing quirk she had noticed before. It always produced a gurgling sound. Funny, it hadn’t bothered her before. She took a small bite of her salmon and let it dissolve in her mouth, barely needing to chew it before she swallowed it and rested her fork on the plate. “Jeff must be really hungry,” Mary thought, as she observed him. The Bum Boat did not supply knives as a rule. Jeff stabbed his steak with his fork and held it to his mouth, tearing off another large chunk with his teeth and lipping it eagerly it into his mouth. Jeff chewed methodically, his eyes roving around the restaurant as he assessed the relationships of the other diners. He said nothing, but Mary could hear his insistent grinding as he worked to reduce the steak down to a size he could safely swallow. As Jeff finally began to swallow the steak, he took another gurgling gulp of the beer and sighed in gastronomic satisfaction. He masterfully suppressed a burp, but Mary was now alert to every sound, and she winced. Jeff took up his fork and prepared to lift the steak for another bite. Mary watched him, her body rigid with tension. Their comfortable silence had been strangely shattered, and she felt herself becoming irrationally enraged by each tiny sound around her. The noise was becoming too loud to bear. She now heard only too clearly the distant clatter of dishes and utensils in the scullery, the high-pitched scraping of forks on plates at nearby tables, the clink of wine glasses as a couple several tables away toasted their anniversary, and the shuffle of the waiter’s feet on the carpet as he moved about the dining room. She watched in fury as Jeff opened his mouth to rend another piece of steak. Mary’s hand closed around her own fork, a tiny part of her mind pleading silently, “Don’t do it…don’t DO it…!”
Justice Hairhead
May 25th, 2023 at 10:04 am Reply
Luann: Aaargh! So now Bernice (!!) is the designated Love-Sex Object of Male Desire????? Frigid, constipated, sex-negative, burqua-clad Bernice? I can imagine the dialogue involved in becoming her “boyfriend”.
BOY: Bernice, I’m really attracted to you; why don’t we go out?
BERNICE: First of all, and this is most important, there is to be NO SEX in this relationship. We won’t have it, talk about it, or even think about it!
BOY: I’m okay with starting out Platonic.
BERNICE: Second, NO KISSING! Bodily fluids, germs, eecchh!
BOY: We can have a good time in each other’s company.
BERNICE: Third, no touching whatsoever! NO hugging, NO handholding. Just adore me from 2 – 3 feet away. Or preferably, over the phone.
BOY: Um, yeah, I have a phone.
BERNICE: Now when we go out together, you know I can’t be actually seen with you because, you know, being with or near a man implies that some kind of emotional, or God Forbid, sexual connection might exist between us.
BOY: Well, aren’t we meant to have a–
BERNICE: So when you are in my presence, you will wear women’s clothing, and I will call you Ethel.
BOY: Okay, we’re done. There is no more attraction!
BERNICE: HOW DARE YOU TOY WITH MY FEELINGS YOU EXPLOITIVE SEXIST PIG!!
(Exit screaming)
oldgold
May 25th, 2023 at 11:13 am Reply
Judge Parker: (With apologies to Johnny Rivers)
There’s a woman who leads a life of danger;
To everyone she meets at Starbucks she stays a stranger;
With every move she makes another chance she borrows;
Alan Parker, odds are she won’t let you live to see many tomorrows.
Cavelton beware of pretty faces that you find;
A pretty face at Starbucks can hide an evil mind;
Ah, be careful what you say, or you’ll give yourself away;
Alan, odds are April won’t let you live to see another day.
Alan Parker talking smack to Charlotte one day;
Then layin’ dead in a Cavelton alley the next day;
Oh no, he let the wrong words slip;
Now, April’s given him a knife’s tip.
Secret agent woman, secret agent woman;
They’ve gave you to the Parkers;
And, took away your good name;
Now you live in Cavelton, in caffeinated shame.
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 1
BigTed
May 20th, 2023 at 4:48 am Reply
Judge Parker: So, judging from that kid’s hair color, his parents are Abbey and the horse? That wouldn’t be the weirdest story this strip has ever done.
Ukranazi Stepan
May 20th, 2023 at 4:55 am Reply
Beaten Daily: Call me a sceptic, but I doubt any army, no matter how desperate, would send into combat a man with no eyes.
Ukranazi Stepan
May 20th, 2023 at 5:01 am Reply
Wrecks Moregone: And if they rush after that, they might even be in time for the towel folding exhibition!
Peanut Gallery
May 20th, 2023 at 5:26 am Reply
Judge Parker: “Mom, we’ve been over this before. There’s no need for all this backwoods orienteering stuff. If you’re feeling lost, just use your GPS.”
Charterstoned
May 20th, 2023 at 5:38 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Sometimes love is helping each other enjoy the CALM.” All the patrons in the Bum Boat respond in unison, “Sometimes love is helping each other enjoy the CLAM. So, for the love of Pete, SHUT THE FUCK UP and let us enjoy our CHOWDER!!”
Scratchy Scrotum LXIX
May 20th, 2023 at 6:54 am Reply
G. *(&$@! Thorp: Does Gil think blindness is contagious and that Ggreg Hammm can pass on his lack of vision to the Korean Nightmare?
Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
May 20th, 2023 at 7:54 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: “They’ve got Patriot missiles. Quick, boys, dig holes! Did you bring your sandbags? “
Hibbleton
May 20th, 2023 at 8:30 am Reply
Hi and Lois: “Do you and Irma miss having kids…since Child Protective Service took your twins and placed them with us?”
Garrison Skunk
May 20th, 2023 at 12:53 pm Reply
Dick Twacy Hollistic Defective: Fosdick whispers “We got this, Tracy…just chant “Big bucks, big bucks no Whammies, no Whammies! STOP!”
Peanut Gallery
May 21st, 2023 at 5:11 am Reply
Jungle Jim: nThe odds are uneven. But aren’t odds always uneven? Otherwise they’d be evens.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2023 at 5:29 am Reply
Rex Morgan M.D. : Oversnarkpologies for “the captain is just René Belluso HIMSELF in disguise”.
…Hey, maybe he’ll tell them “Oh no! Look behind you! You’ve turned your backs on René Belluso!”, and then the Hardwoods turn around and go “We don’t see René anywhere… In fact, you seem to be making us look out into the sea!” and then René shoves them overboard with a “Well, I’m right that you have your backs turned to René Belluso.”
Weaselboy
May 21st, 2023 at 5:33 am Reply
Gasoline Alley: Tell me you don’t understand economics without telling me…you know what. Never mind. Just shut the hell up.
jroggs
May 21st, 2023 at 5:51 am Reply
Luann: It’s bad enough that Toni is openly cheating on Brad, but does she have to make him approve of her date outfits by playing Six Differences as well?
Peanut Gallery
May 21st, 2023 at 5:58 am Reply
Gasoline Alley: But as the old saying goes, why ride a cow when you can get free gasoline?
Inspector Gotcha
May 21st, 2023 at 6:13 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “I don’t understand it. I had my best men on it — Lieutenant Drebin, Petty Officer Fife, and First Mate Schultz.”
ectojazzmage
May 21st, 2023 at 7:24 am Reply
Dennis The Menace: “You’re a robot!” Dennis jokes. The laughter disappears when Mr. Wilson shrieks “mission threat detected” and reveals his true form as a killer robot assassin.
Horace Broon
May 21st, 2023 at 9:29 am Reply
Judge Parker:
You’d think the ancillary characters in this strip would have learned that you never, ever ask a Driver-Spencer how their day’s going. Because they’ll tell you.
Stop Looking At Me
May 21st, 2023 at 12:44 am Reply
Beetle Bailey: War would be a lot more fun if weapons actually went “ka-pow” and “rat-a-tat-a-tat.” I draw the line at “whoosh” though.
pugfuggly
May 22nd, 2023 at 4:41 am Reply
Gil Thorp: To truly honour the memory of Al Jaffee, I printed out this strip and folded it in thirds. It doesn’t make much sense, but there’s 33% less Gil Thorp to look at, which I consider a win. Thanks, Al!
Little Blue Bicycle
May 22nd, 2023 at 4:43 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Greta why don’t you want to go to the park? Wait, what is this? Mayonnaise on your bow tie and fur? That’s it, Weston has to be suppressed! Where are my steak knives?”
Philip
May 22nd, 2023 at 4:49 am Reply
Mary Worth: I can’t look at the “Adopt Don’t Shop” sign and not imagine the local animal shelters also have a poster of Wilbur with “Do NOT Adopt Out To This Man” written on them.
Pozzo
May 22nd, 2023 at 4:55 am Reply
Mary Worth: I’m still waiting for the part where Saul Wynter attaches a shitload of balloons to his house.
Charterstoned
May 22nd, 2023 at 5:06 am Reply
Mary Worth: Wait—WTF? You mean Moy is starting a new story without resolving the last one? What happened to that couple in the restaurant? Are you saying they had dinner and then just went HOME?! Mary never meddled them!
Lee Sherman
May 22nd, 2023 at 5:25 am Reply
Slylock Fox: Max is staring at that bird in horror because they just told him his eyes look tasty.
Merry Mirth
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:31 am Reply
“Woof! [Why, yes, I would love to go to the park, even though all the other dogs will make fun of me for having to wear this ridiculous bow tie. Because it sure beats sitting around here watching you decay.”]
pastordan
May 22nd, 2023 at 6:58 am Reply
Mary Worth: Calling it now: the real tension in this strip is going to involve whether June Brigman sticks with analogous color schemes, or if she moves to something like a triad or a complementary. In the case an over-the-top major event, like the return of Aldo Kelrast, we could even get a double split complementary, but whoa whoa whoa, let’s not get all crazy here, let’s just take things one #e5eae4 and #8fb5cc combo at a time, shall we?
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 2
Jerp + Jump
May 22nd, 2023 at 7:28 am Reply
Gil Thorp: Selling vape cartridges in order to save up to collect Mad Magazine might be the nerdiest example of organized crime I’ve ever heard of.
Oh wait, crypto. I retract my statement.
Liam
May 22nd, 2023 at 8:26 am Reply
Gil Thorp: Marty has to get pictures of teens anywhere he can since he’s no longer allowed in hot locker room
Ukranazi Stepan
May 23rd, 2023 at 4:44 am Reply
Wrecks Moregone: At what point will Mrs. Hankjunior realise that Hankjunior is gone, and the man posing as him is really…
…Rene Belluso?
By his ability to perform in bed, and I don’t mean singing?
jroggs
May 23rd, 2023 at 4:49 am Reply
Pluggers: Using cemetery exploration as a form of recreation? Great, now I have to redraw my plugger/ goth Venn diagram.
Schroduck
May 23rd, 2023 at 4:58 am Reply
Pluggers: If you’re a Plugger beast-man, your wife and your dog are the same thing, and neither of them get a big tombstone because you have more important things to spend money on, like the cargo shorts you wear to the cemetery.
nescio
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:03 am Reply
Pluggers: You’re a half human, half scavenger Plugger if you use Find-a-Grave as a way to locate a meal.
made of wince
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:10 am Reply
Pluggers: Plugger zombies are a lot more mild mannered, it would seem. Oh, he’s not dead yet? Well then, I’m willing to wait if he is. I want Houndstooth zombies. Let’s wake up and get bitey, guys.
Inspector Gotcha
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:14 am Reply
Mary Worth: Alriiight, I’ve got Saul in the Dead Pool, and I’ve got a good feeling about this!
taig
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:50 am Reply
Pluggers: If you ask me, houndstooth should be dead and buried. It’s not a pattern I’m particularly fond of.
MKay
May 23rd, 2023 at 6:19 am Reply
Mary Worth: Bad news, Saul. Greta’s been scoping out nursing homes while you nap.
Liam
May 23rd, 2023 at 6:30 am Reply
Pluggers: Pluggers lead the authorities to where the bodies are buried.
The Rambling Otter
May 23rd, 2023 at 7:26 am Reply
Pluggers meanwhile would sooner get a bigger tombstone for their broken down 40-year old grill, than their wife.
Ukulele Ike
May 23rd, 2023 at 7:43 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: Today I learned that walking among us are those who examine Mr. Wilson’s trousers every day to see if an inadvertent human expression has been included. This morning: payoff.
Guillermo el chiclero
May 23rd, 2023 at 7:45 am Reply
Pluggers: Earl’s grandpa will be spinning in that grave if he finds out his grandson married a chicken.
Dammit, boy! You eat those things, not date them!
Ettorre
May 23rd, 2023 at 8:54 am Reply
Mary Worth: Ok, maybe eugenics is not PC or woke enough these days, but we should all agree that if Wynter reproduced instead of Wilbur, the social benefit would not have been insignificant.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 23rd, 2023 at 1:05 pm Reply
Pluggers: The “Please No Urination” signs here have a certain urgency they might lack in your average cemetery.
Bob Tice
May 24th, 2023 at 4:30 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Many a sneer has to fall/
But it’s Saul in the game.”
— Tommy Edwards (adapted)
Merry Mirth
May 24th, 2023 at 4:36 am Reply
Mary Worth: COMING TOMORROW!!! Saul tosses the ball again, and Greta retrieves it!
COMING FRIDAY!!! Saul tosses the ball again, and Greta retrieves it!
COMING SATURDAY!!! [Dare we hope?]
Inspector Gotcha
May 24th, 2023 at 4:53 am Reply
Judge Parker: April, self-criticism is a philosophical and political concept developed within the ideology of Marxism-Leninism, Stalinism, and Maoism (meant for others, of course). It’s not what Karens do. Now quit sniveling, pull up your big bitch panties, and go ream Alan a new one.
jroggs
May 24th, 2023 at 4:57 am Reply
Six Chix: BLUx must be one of those trendy new cafes where all the faux-beverages are served with derisive scorn. They have mocktails, scoffee, disdainquiris, and the “BLUx Special,” which is $7.95 for ice water garnished with a lemon peel and naked contempt.
pugfuggly
May 24th, 2023 at 5:59 am Reply
Six Chix: “And for all that cash, they serve it to you on a slab of unhewn wood in a blank blue room. Where are we anyhow?”
Weaselboy
May 24th, 2023 at 6:25 am Reply
Gil Thorp: “I started to lose my vision while pitching a game.”
“While playing?”
“No, I was in the corporate offices of Milton Bradley pitching them the idea of “Blindfolded Twister.” Ironic, huh?”
Guillermo el chiclero
May 24th, 2023 at 7:20 am Reply
Judge Parker: Oh, Jesus, April. You’re an accomplished murderess. Just go over to Alan’s house and snap his neck, like Wurst taught you. We know you want to.
TheDiva
May 24th, 2023 at 7:29 am Reply
Rex Morgan: I hope Hank and Yvonne keep trying to “do over” their honeymoon and Rene keeps showing up to throw a monkey wrench into things. He tries to shove Hank off Niagra Falls, he turns up at Sandals Ochi as a phony psychic, he dons a bald cap and poses as Pope Francis while they’re touring the Vatican…
nescio
May 24th, 2023 at 11:08 am Reply
I thought you’re a Plugger if your first tablet device was a pill splitter.
Shadow COTW Contenders, Part 3
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 24th, 2023 at 12:46 pm Reply
Crock: An insight into the gender conventions of whatever species these two and the Grimace are.
MKay
May 25th, 2023 at 4:34 am Reply
Mary Worth: Eve bears an eerie resemblance to Jared. Did she leave him on a doorstep years ago, when she realized he just couldn’t rock a neckerchief?
MKay
May 25th, 2023 at 4:34 am Reply
Rex Morgan: “The honeymoon isn’t over, darling! There are TONS of things at home to kvetch about!”
BigTed
May 25th, 2023 at 4:42 am Reply
Gil Thorp: “Yooo, is your dad that plagiarist?” “He apologized!” “Whatever, dude. Anyhow, I have to go see if ChatGPT is done writing my English paper.”
Rube
May 25th, 2023 at 5:01 am Reply
Hi and Lois doesn’t always make jokes that allude to 21st Century popular culture, but when they do, it’s about the “Most Interesting Man in the World” advertising campaign that ended five years ago.
Hibbleton
May 25th, 2023 at 5:10 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: Henry thinks; “What!? Coming home drunk and vomiting on the kitchen floor isn’t man enough for you!?”
pugfuggly
May 25th, 2023 at 5:13 am Reply
Gil Thorp: I know that Gil Thorp is the ultimate “tell-don’t-show” strip, but I swear to god, if we don’t get five solid days of these blindfolded kids pelting each other with baseballs and running into fence posts, I’m going to write the angriest letter…
Weaselboy
May 25th, 2023 at 5:35 am Reply
Crankshaft: If you want to see Cranky actually sitting on the toilet, you have to subscribe to his OnlyFans.
Ukranazi Stepan
May 25th, 2023 at 6:05 am Reply
Wrecks Moregone: Are you all blind?!? Rene’s literally over there to your left with the green woman!
taig
May 25th, 2023 at 6:47 am Reply
Mary Worth: “He reminds me to take my meds by chewing them up and then vomiting.”
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
May 25th, 2023 at 7:12 am Reply
Shoe: “You can’t run away from life, Skyler. But you can let it pass you by. That’s why I dress in red. I’m a volunteer stop sign from 6:00 to 9:30 on Tuesday mornings. It’s a great hobby, other than the diesel exhaust.”
Ukulele Ike
May 25th, 2023 at 7:33 am Reply
Family Circus: I hope Thel made a bid on that portrait of Aldo Kelrast. Who wouldn’t want that hanging in the bedroom?
Lord_Flatulence
May 25th, 2023 at 9:48 am Reply
Rex Morgan: What an exciting cruise. They went to a couple of bad concerts and sat on the deck.
Horace Broon
May 25th, 2023 at 11:54 am Reply
Rex Morgan: So, just like Hank predicted, Rene’s escape didn’t lead to another confrontation and everything was fine for the rest of the voyage. Beatty is the only writer I know who foreshadows that nothing’s going to happen.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 25th, 2023 at 12:37 pm Reply
Mark Trail: The judges are conferring over whether it’s permissible to have a billionaire character named “Chet Chedderson” and not put him in the dairy industry.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 25th, 2023 at 12:37 pm Reply
Mary Worth: Max is peering up all, “You do have a second opinion planned, right? I hear this guy is a little trigger happy on the whole euthanasia thing.”
Sequitur
May 25th, 2023 at 12:53 pm Reply
love is… wiping their butts on a log… again.
Daily Shadow CsOTW
Saturday
————
Ukranazi Stepan
May 20th, 2023 at 5:01 am Reply
Wary Morth: By the moustache of Aldo Kelrast, would you two just stuff food in your mouths and shut up?!?
cheech wizard
May 20th, 2023 at 7:14 am Reply
Judge Parker: I don’t think Abbey would do something so vulgar and passe as trying to mate Eric and Sophie. No, I think she wants Sophie’s help in cutting him off at the waist and stitching him onto one of the horses to create a centaur. So she can fuck it.
Sunday
———-
Hibbleton
May 21st, 2023 at 5:29 am Reply
Family Circus: Dolly counting to three is what authors call ‘poetic license.’
Schroduck
May 21st, 2023 at 5:39 am Reply
Just occurred to me that “Gasoline Alley” is probably going to outlive gasoline.
Monday
———–
Hibbleton
May 22nd, 2023 at 5:18 am Reply
Family Circus: “Oh, you’re still funny, Jeffy…but it’s the kind of ‘funny’ that gets a syndrome named after you.”
Garrison Skunk
May 22nd, 2023 at 8:52 am Reply
SlylickFox and Comix For Kinx: Slick Smitty accused Rachel Rabbit of being a raging alcoholic and drinking his turpentine, leaving him with just water to clean the brush. Rachel bursts into tears and suddenly admits her life has all been a lie.
Tuesday
———–
pugfuggly
May 23rd, 2023 at 5:07 am Reply
Pluggers always take their walks in graveyards, as it’s a pretty convenient place to drop dead from light exercise.
Dr. Larry Erhardt
May 23rd, 2023 at 9:18 am Reply
Dennis the Menace: Judging by the dim lighting, the Wilsons appear to be scavenging a newly-unearthed Waldenbooks from an archaeological dig. Those could be 8-tracks.
Wednesday
—————
Ettorre
May 24th, 2023 at 5:07 am Reply
Six Chix: You know, “Six Chix” should be out there to demonstrate that women can be as funny as men, not as funny as “Dustin”
Everything Is Better With Monkeys
May 24th, 2023 at 6:15 am Reply
Hi and Lois: It makes me uneasy to see some actual effort and thought put into Hi and Lois’ layout and details today… were all local golf courses and bars closed on the day this was drawn?
Thursday
————
Hibbleton
May 25th, 2023 at 7:05 am Reply
Judge Parker: “Everyone looked at me like I was going to kill them.”
“B-b-but you did kill them.”
“Yeah, sure. But they didn’t know that, hmph.“
Cleve Barrister
May 25th, 2023 at 8:45 am Reply
Judge Parker: April, coffee shop tip: Don’t have the server put “April, crazed CIA assassin” on your cup.
Shadow COTW
——————
Voshkod
May 24th, 2023 at 6:25 am Reply
Hi and Lois: “Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station! Uh . . . why . . . why is the planet still there? Budget cuts? I didn’t order any . . . Vader, did you order budget cuts? Well, did we destroy anything? Anything at all? We . . . we warmed a lap. For an infant. That’s it. No more Death Stars. Just . . . just train our troops to actually shoot to kill and let’s get started, OK?”
Congratulations, bbofun!
Thanks for the mentions, Scratchy and Baja!
Thanks, Scratchy and Baja.
Congrats in disguise to bbofund for the COTW!
And HAHA awards to all the floaters!
And a big thanks for the mentions to
NippleMagicScratchy andBoombaTheWonderRiffBaja.Thanks, Scratchy, Baja, and Josh! bbofun, that’s a well-deserved COTW, and everybody else, you done good! Also, uh, FEAR MY TENTACLES?!
Thanks Josh, and thanks Baja (shadow COTW? Very nice) and Scratchy, and Voshkudos to bbofun, Old Man Shadow, MRNA Loy (on Twitter), Peanut Gallery, and jroggs.
Hilarious COTW, bbofun! Congrats to the folks on the main float, the Scrotes, and those lurking in the shadows. Thanks for the mentions, Baja!
Thanks, Baja.
Big props to all of today’s mentionees, and hearty thanks to Scratchy and Baja. A gift certificate for all the Roz’ starch you can stomach is being sped to your mailboxes at this very instant!
Thanks, Scratchy and Baja!
Thanks, bbofun and all the float riders! And congratulations to Scratchy for mentioning me.
Congrats to bbofun, everyone on the float and my fellow shadowfloaters and scratchies! Broon Croons to Peanut Gallery and Tabby Lavalamp!
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
BB – Only the dead have seen the end of war.
Euripides
___________
“Euripides pants, you bought dem”- Chico Marx
Yay to Memorial Day and Josh. Congrats to bbofun and the others on the float. And to my fellow shadow-ies and scratchies. Beret tips to made of wince, Weaselboy, and Hobbes Fan.
@Garrison Skunk: “Euripides pants, you bought dem”- Chico Marx
“Please meet my cousin, Eumenides.”
Thanks, Scratchy and Baja!
Thanks for the mentions and the Nice Try Award, I’ll keep it on my mantle next to the first Best69 Award I won a few months ago.
Thank you, Scratchy! Thank you, Baja! And big congrats to bbofun and just all of us, I guess!
@Garrison Skunk: @Bnonymous: It’s embarrassing, how hard I laughed.
Thanks Baja and Scratchy. And a good long weekend to the American Mudges.
Congratulations to bbofun and fellow floaters and thanks, Josh, Scratchy, and Baja!
Congrats to everyone!
Thanks Scratchy and Baja :)
I’m so sorry I missed Ukulele Ike’s comment the first time around. That’s a good one!
Thanks, Scratchy!
Great, now “findom” is in my search history.
Thanks Josh, Scratchy, and Baja for the highlights and the mentions. Funny stuff!!
@Lee Sherman: ONE OF US, ONE OF US
@Chance: Ooooooo, which one? I have to write it down in my little book.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Thanks for mentioning the pugfully comment about Al Jaffe and MAD fold-ins. Josh didn’t even give it an honorable mention. For me, it was the best comment I’ve seen for months – and truly in the spirit of the Curmudgeon and MAD.
@allangary: I agree with you. I giggled insanely.
@Ukulele Ike: Me too.