Soapy dullness
Post Content
Judge Parker, 5/27/23
Oh, can’t remember if I mentioned that the CIA let April out of prison, but: the CIA let April out of prison, presumably because they knew that no physical cell they could build could trap and torment her more than the walls of her own mind, where she can’t escape the memory of her life as an assassin. Remember when these two were young and fun and in love, and Randy made weird, vaguely sexual jokes about chopsticks? They need to recapture their youth and passion again, possibly by going back to what they’re best at (for April, this is assassinating people).
Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/27/23
I can’t find it now, but wasn’t there some mention that Buck would be around to take care of Hank Sr. if he needed help while Hank Jr. and Yvonne were on their honeymoon? Well, apparently that wasn’t necessary, thank God. Hank Sr.’s doing just fine. So are his son and daughter-in-law. Everything’s fine! Everything’s going great.
Gasoline Alley, 5/27/23
Meanwhile, in Gasoline Alley everything is not going great. Rufus is having a medical emergency, probably because of that head injury! He needs an ambulance, but — get this — Joel doesn’t know how to operate a telephone. This might cause us concern, if we cared about these people, which we definitely do not.
134 replies to “Soapy dullness”
Daddy Daze-“It’s a Cinderella story.” “I don’t know how quoting ‘Caddyshack’ can help.”
JP-“I’m a loner, Randy. A rebel.”
RMMD-“Some balding loudmouth who broke up with his girlfriend fell of the cruise ship and has disappeared.”
MW-“Great. Now I have to walk through this dog park and it’s landmines to find Greta.”
FC-“I was singing the songs backwards in hopes of making church more fun.”
Gasoline Alley-Sadly despite the promise of someone finally dying in this strip they won’t.
MW: “Well, Officer, I was looking for my dog. From those bushes, I heard a voice say, ‘That is one cute little weiner!’ So, I rushed over, and oh my, was my face red! Wait, why are you cuffing me?”
BG&SS: Up til now in The Holler, GMO stood for Gitoutta My Outhouse!
9CL: Edda seems to be losing her grip on her fiefdom. When’s the last time someone kissed her ass, metaphorically or otherwise?
RMMD: Hank Sr, who is obviously a hell of a lot more fun than Junior, has been having a ball, eating and drinking whatever he wants and who knows what other debaucheries. He hopes they drive VERY slowly on the way home.
JP: Randy regrets his next question even as the words are leaving his lips.
“Are you ovulating?”
GA: BANG “So, now that I’m for shore he ain’t breathin, like you said, what do I do now, aperater?”
JP: April channeling Popeye — “I yam what I yam, and that’s all that I yam.”
REX MORGAN M.D.: Hank Jr: “Do you think that, maybe, I should have been warning Pop about the incompetent (but vengeful) con-man and would be murderer that’s on the loose and has a vendetta against our family and…oh look a nondescript diner! C’mon honey, you know what we have to do!”
Looks like SOMEONE FORGOT.
That phone is clearly a tablet, you make emergency calls on cell phones by tapping “emergency” rather than dialing 911, and nobody says “nine-eleven” unless they’re referring to the 2001 terrorist attacks. Where is the realism I expect from Gasoline Alley?
Also the way Joel obscures most of Becky’s body except for one leg makes it look like she’s a Becky head on a collapsible pole and I DO NOT LIKE IT.
JP: April is just pulling some classic psyop on Randy. It won’t prove to be much of a challenge.
RMMD: I bet that’s Rene pretending to be Hank Sr., while Hank Sr. is “indisposed” (meaning he’s dealing with constipation).
GA: Rufus’s eventual brain damage will put him on par with the rest of this strip’s cast.
Frazz: Here’s a thought: you could help your parents with cleaning the garage.
Luann: That dude is going to be really disappointed when he pulls off the masking (sorry, “asking”) tape. Also, I’m going to guess that Karen Evans just sharted out a bunch of words for Bernice’s description of the painting in panel 1.
CS: I wish I could feel any sense of pride about calling this earlier in the week, but I think the average TruFan could have worked out this “punchline.”
JP: If you thought several months of Abbey sitting around the house whining about her misfortunes was a blast, get hyped for… the exact same thing! Except with blonde hair!
RMMD: “It sure was an eventful trip. We ate some good meals, enjoyed some familiar music, sat around a lot; we did the works. Oh, and there may or may not be a vengeful killer beelining towards our shared home because of… goodness, listen to me babbling like an old woman. I’ll chitchat with you about it when we get home next week.”
GA: Nobody says “nine-eleven” when referring to the United States emergency number, ever. Fuck you for even trying this shitty joke, Gasoline Alley.
MW OK, Saul, your little doggie is missing. Why don’t you pretend she’s a human child and just not give a shit.
We spend way too much time in this strip on characters it’s impossible to care about.
CS: They’re both right, but only one of them was looking at the definition as Seth and Fernanda use the word.
FC: That Dolly thought everyone was singing the wrong words because she was holding her page upside down is cute. That no one thought it was strange she was singing gibberish is not so cute.
Luann: The TruFans are art critics today. It’s, um, well…
Yeah.
Dustin: Dustin’s “date” is completely ignoring the fact that her martini-drinking target is sitting across from…DustinMom!!!
FC: “Today, we will be singing hymn number 175: ‘Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon, Jesus.'”
MW: I realized this is a reversal of the “lost Max” story featuring Saul and Eve. It’s daytime, the weather is clear, and Eve is nowhere around.
@brendancalling: The best part of that comment is how offended he seems about this milquetoast art. (“We can’t unsee it”, “lurid explanation”)
JP: So far, this reboot of Burn Notice with a female lead looks promising. Now we just need one of Randy’s childhood friends to be in trouble with a gang of car thieves and April putting her CIA skills to work saving the friend and thwarting the thieves and off we go.
GA: “What an ass!” thinks the ass.
FC: Does PJ also sing, Dolly?
DtM: Convincing Joey to ride an obviously too large bike he can’t control out into traffic is downright scary.
Menace factor: off the charts.
I discovered a reddit thread about why the strip was named ‘gasoline alley’
God people are clueless
@Pat Dry: Did it include an extremely condescending post that was wrong in every respect?
GT: Well, Dorothy, if you’re going to turn your back and wiggle your ass in the handshake line, you deserve an OOF to the ribs. Yowzer.
Also, can we now assume that THE Milford is in Wisconsin? There is a Milford in America’s Dairyland, just down the road apiece from Hooper’s Mill, maybe 20 miles east of Madison.
H&L: A sad Hi looks at Thurston’s decrepit house and yard and his own decreasing property value while handing him a bottle of hooch through the fence. He thinks; “Cirrhosis is taking a lot longer to kill him than I thought.”
@Inspector Gotcha:
Also, can we now assume that THE Milford is in Wisconsin?
OTOH, I don’t remember ever seeing snow in THE Milford, so maybe not.
RMMD: Seems more like they left a prescription for Valium to take care of Hank Sr.
RMMD:
[Pops disconnects the call]: “I sure am glad that you’re not on that cruise and that you’re here instead with me, Esme!”
RMMD: “I’m doing just fine,” Hank Sr. says as he surveys the wreckage from last night’s rager.
JP: “So you’re saying you’re not going to make me meat loaf and mashed potatoes tonight?”
CS: Batiuk must have some iron-clad contract signed years ago that forces newspapers to keep printing this garbage.
“Maybe she saw a squirrel, who probably *chased her*.”
MW: Panel 2, out of context (or possibly in context, too) looks like something out of a horror movie. Since I don’t watch horror movies I don’t know which director to ascribe this scene to. Is this Stephen King, with his love of torturing children, or is this Tarantino going off the rails yet again?
RMMD: Rene Belluso is scuttling about somewhere, but where?
MW: hasn’t Greta’s lost been done before? I can only hope she’s found feast on Wilbur’s corpulent corpse.
JP – Gunpowder, gelatine – Dynamite with a laser beam – Guaranteed to blow your mind – Anytime….
RMMD – Oh yeah – pop remembers the ride – your dick has to be this long – this is a dark ride….
GA – Better just let Rufus’s ass do the talkin’….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Judge Parker: Didn’t this strip used to be about a judge presiding over court cases?
Rex Morgan: Didn’t this strip used to be about a doctor?
Gasoline Alley: Didn’t this… actually, no, I’m fairly certain that Gasoline Alley has always been… *flicks wrist dismissively* like this.
9CL – These characters spend over 90% of their time in the water. But Brooke still can’t get it right. Today Edda dives head-first into a puddle right next to where Amos is standing in water that is only thigh deep. He’s also fond of showing his characters making out underwater as they slowly sink to the bottom of what was just recently a shallow pool.
Also today, three year old girls are arguing over the provenance of an expression from the 14th century. He keeps wanting to pretend his characters are intellectuals, but other than the multi-syllabic words there is no evidence of any intelligence or education. I don’t think either of them are college graduates, and despite the syllables, their conversations aren’t particularly erudite.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: Perspective and continuity are for beefwits!
Juggs Parker is not living up to its name these days.
Is Dennis talking to Joey about riding a bike? Or jerking off?
RMMD: So, when Hank Jr. left town to woo Yvonne, he asked Buck to check in on Hank Sr while he was gone. Hank Sr. was still alive when Hank Jr. returned with Yvonne, so I guess Buck didn’t neglect Hank Sr. to death. Nonetheless, when Hank Jr. and Yvonne left for this cruise, it was June and Sarah who stopped by to check on Hank Sr., so maybe the Hanks weren’t so impressed with Buck’s caregiving after all?
I do hope that June has been totally absent after that first perfunctory check in, and, as others have suggested, the camera pulls back on Hank Sr. to reveal a catastrophic mess around him. Then we get to hear about the party he threw while Jr. and Yvonne were out of town, and how he has to clean up the vomit and fix the hole in the wall and dispose of the bodies etc before those killjoys get back tomorrow. “Take your time!” he exclaims through a forced smile.
GA: I may be Mandela Effect-ing myself, but I recall hearing that the powers that be specifically refered to the emergency number as “nine-one-one” because some people got confused when they couldn’t find “eleven” on their phone dial. So this Gasoline Alley punchline is relying on a phenomenon that happened decades ago if it ever existed at all, which sounds about right for the strip.
JP: Come on, April! I mean sure, I do get why you might want to deliberately sabotage your relationship with Randy Parker, but he’s definitely looking better since the art shift and that’s got to count for something…
RMMD: Normally, describing a cruise where you rescued your musical idol from the clutches of a nefarious con artist who accidentally fell overboard in his attempts to silence you, only to be saved by your own quick thinking and mercy, and who subsequently managed a breakout worthy of Frank Abagnale Jr. as “eventful” would be the understatement of the century. In Rex Morgan, it’s overselling the situation.
Soapy dullness or dull soapiness? Yes.
Rene Belluso has killed Hank Jr., assumed his identity, and stolen his wife. Yvonne is vaguely aware something’s wrong, but the sex is too good to ask questions.
Mary Worth Missing Final Panels: Which is more likely to happen?
9CL: The “Mom Curse” remains as potent as ever.
C’shaft: Sure, “accidentally”….
Dustin: Protip, Dustin: if a woman takes one look at you and suddenly declares this a “speed dating” situation, you’ve already got bigger problems than finding another woman to talk to.
Luann: You’re asking too much.
MW: Saul managed to lose Greta in an enclosed dog park? Damn, even Wilbur is looking at this guy and thinking “what an idiot!”
Pluggers: All the coupons on a Plugger Fridge are expired. That fact won’t stop her from insisting the store accept them, blocking a checkout lane for 20 minutes until the manager finally give in to prevent more customers from abandoning their shopping carts full of food.
Snuffy Smith: “Someone should cross a potato with a banana?” states Snuffy. Someone needs to tell him about plantains.
@Baja Gaijin: Greta being in plain sight is the most likely thing. Besides, Greta is way too smart to seek advice from Mary.
Rex Morgan:
Life is going great dad. In fact I only have two days until retirement.
DtM: Has Joey ever talked before? I don’t know which of my inner comic-strip voices to give him, Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones?
GT: This had better end up as a really good chick fight on Monday.
Dustin: Like that plain-looking woman really thinks she stands a chance of nailing that martini-sipping Chad.
Dustin: C’mon, Dustin artist. If you’re going to draw a designated handsome hunk you of all people should know that the Universal Cartoon Symbol to designate a sexually desirable male is a pair of chin nuts.
@Inspector Gotcha: That Milford is basically a wide spot in the road, looks to be served by the Lake Mills Area School District.
Signed, A Sconnie Nerd.
Rex Morgan, M.D.: “Take your time, son! I’m just over here experimenting with my hockey mouthguard and some of my ‘special’ drawings, if you know what I mean. Knock before you come in!”
GT: Huh, I’m actually intrigued by Gil Thorp. No, not by the story, don’t be ridiculous, but by the storytelling. Ever since Dorothy joined the team, her teammates have treated her like a Mean Girl, while she’s been acting like nothing of the kind. (I don’t remember if she was one of the Mean Girls from the “Keri snaps” storyline.) And the storytelling is so all over the place that at this point, I genuinely don’t know if I’m meant to be thinking “What an unprovoked attack” or “Yeah, you teach Dorothy a lesson”. I hope to find out on Monday, but I’m not counting on it.
MW: Saul, have you seen Greta? If she’s chasing a squirrel, you’d better find her fast before it attacks her!
OTF: And having praised Holbrook’s research yesterday, we’re back to “but this is nonsense”. Yes, Dickie Three was found under a car park, but they … they didn’t leave him there. His final (or at least current) resting place is St Martin’s Cathedral, Leicester.
Phantom: “Thank goodness I can maintain my complex and bizarre web of deception without directly lying to my allies!”
S4th: “But, Nona, you’ve travelled with us before! Remember the kaiju park?”
“Vividly, Mr Forth, what do you think I’m basing this on?”
Judge Parker: I’d like to say this would be much better accompanied by an old-fashioned soap opera organ, but you and I both know that’s a lie.
9 Chickweed Lane: Our three-year-old niece recently called her 14-year-old cousin a “weasel,” and we all had a good laugh. Where does she get words like that? Anyway, this sucks.
Dustin: one of this strips running gags is that Dustin gets rejected by women the moment they clap eyes on him. Honestly, I don’t understand it. By the standards of this strip he is of relatively standard appearance. And the women haven’t had the opportunity to learn how lazy he is. So why? My theory is the writer has had bad experiences with women and he’s getting it out of his system.
@Professor Well Actually: Dustin is a losing loser who loses, according to this strip, and he just reeks of losing and desperation.
Judge Parker: Today, we’re treated to an intense game of Red Light, Green Light, minus the intrigue, aggression and intense gamesmanship.
JP – ♪ Wake up Randy,
I think I got somethin’ to say to you
I’m out of prison and I really should be shootin’ fools
I know that I never amuse
But it’s more fun to abuse
Oh Randy, I couldn’t have tried anymore
You made me “work ’em like a claw”
Just to save us from careers in law
You’ve interrupted my rant and that’s what really hurts
@Professor Well Actually: My theory is that the writer couldn’t find a joke if you gave him a dictionary with all the entries that didn’t start with “jo” ripped out.
@Rube: Narrow it down to all the entries starting with “jok,” and he’d still find the task impossible.
GA – “Now you listen here, Felix! I don’t know how to work this thing, so you better git over here pronto with your bag o’ tricks!”
Don Abundio, translated:
“I want to lie in the giant slingshot”
“But that’s dangerous, sir”
“I don’t care! You can’t tell me what to do!”
“Fine…”
“One of these days someone will launch Don Abundio clear over the house”
BG&SS: I doubt that either Loweezy or Snuffy has ever SEEN a banana. Fancy imported flatlander city fruit rarely gets shipped out to the hills and hollers.
GT: Good move going for the kidneys, Burly Girl, but the objective here is to cripple her pitching arm.
GA – It could have been worse. He could have made a Porsche joke
@Uncle Lumpy:
After reading this, all I can think of is that Simpsons joke. Where Homer “Knew too much” and was kidnapped by the government and placed on a mysterious island.
Homer: My family will come looking for me!
Government agent: As far as they know, Homer Simpson is walking through his front door right now…
(A buff German man walks into the Simpsons’ home)
Imposter: Marge Fraulien I’m home!
Marge: Homer? You’re not Homer!
Imposter: Come now, how about we go out to a nice romantic dinner then have a night of hot German sex.
Marge: Well, I don’t feel like cooking.
FC – Only just out the church door, Bil has his car keys all ready. He can’t wait to get out of there. Holier than thou Grandma would cry and throw nuclear grade platitudes if she knew.
Frazz – What? The kid is taking a book along, so she plans to spend a good part of the time reading. And Frazz doesn’t disapprove of this? She’ll be sitting instead of exercising! Horrors!
GA – I periodically attempt to read this, and I’m a few days into the latest attempt. Is it always this folksy and brain dead?
6Chix – Here’s a first – I liked this.
@Horace Broon: My impression is that Dorothy — who spends the football and/or basketball seasons as a cheerleader — is resented by the jockettes for crossing Clique Boundaries. God knows how they’d react if the first chair clarinet decided she’d like to play shortstop.
@matt w: Sadly, people who don’t know to speak alphanumeric strings are still common as mice in Heathcliff. Stuck waiting at the parking office. I was treated to a plethora of incomprehensible gibberish : thirty eight techs, forty seventeen, joe btfsplk…….
One character at a time, people!
Blondie: I have to call attention to the skinny legs, knobby knees, and (relatively) small boobs on Karen from the HOA. What is the artist trying to tell us here?
RMMD: You realize that during all these months while we’ve explored roots country music drama, cruise ship drama, and late middle-aged honeymoons, we could have been enjoying Kelly and Nikki’s senior year of high school! A once-in-a-lifetime experience we’ll now never get. If the Harwoods hurry back, we may get to see graduation ceremonies, and learn if Nikki has yet made any “plans” for his future, and if the Morgans have lined up a new babysitter if Kelly leaves town for college.
It sounds more interesting than what we’ve just experienced.
@White Rabbit: The artist is telling you he gave you a nice setup for a special 69 Scrotum this week.
@Arabella:Oh, they probably still have five more years to go in their last year of high school.
@Downpuppy: People also don’t know how to read abbreviations. Back in the former times, you were supposed to read them in full, ‘Inc.’ was spoken as ‘Incorporated.’ Grownups would make fun of a kid who read it as ‘Ink.’ Now everyone says ‘Ink.’ And you can’t make fun of kids either.
@Arabella: Ever since Batiuk retired from Funky Winkerbean, there’s been a vacuum in teen drama on the comic strip page.
Oops…never mind…that vacuum was there while Batiuk was publishing Funky Winkerbean.
RMMD: Hmm, wondering if Belluso’s got any clinging to the undercarriage chops a la Cape Fear.
@I speak Jive: 6Chix – Here’s a first – I liked this.
***
Made me look. And thanks for doing that.
Sick Chicks is in my Favorites for Komics Kondom, but that doesn’t mean I usually don’t usually zip by it without paying attention. This was was worth the attention.
As they say, even a blind dog slips in its own vomit every so often. Or something like that.
I miss ONE DAY of the CC and wake to find I HAVE THE COTW?
What the actual Browne-Walker heck?
Anyway, thanks, Joel! And thanks for the nice comments, all!
Also, the guy in the food truck? He’s Rene.
So Dustbin goes to a speed-dating event that is a sausage fest. At least he can compete in the circle-jerk activity. I’m sure he’ll get a blue ribbon, for speed if nothing else.
Zits from Spanish to English
JP: “Please, please, Randy. Leave me a loan right now. I need twenty grand, pronto.”
@Professor Well Actually: Presumably the ladies can smell Dustin’s shirt, the only casual shirt he owns.
Hank Jr’s coming home to a taxidermied Buck.
@taig: I basically imagine all of the TruFans as different versions of Edith Massey in “Pink Flamingos,” but with internet access.
RMMD: “Take your time. I’m doing just fine. While you’ve been away, I’ve learned to masturbate with my left hand. It’s almost like being with a brand new lover!”
GA: Joel, n00b though he may be, knows how to hold a cell phone better than any of June Brigman’s artistic creations do.
6ix Chix: Stephanie Piro demonstrates how to dispose of your old porn collection that you’re tired of, in an environmentally sound way. Reduce, reuse, rediddle.
Dustin: This woman trying to pick up men at what appears to be a gaming convention refreshment kiosk reminds me of the old observation: her odds there may be very good, but the goods there are very odd.
MW: Has it already been pointed out that Greta’s leash is nowhere in sight? Old Man Wynter had her on a leash, Tuesday. She was romping around without the leash, Wednesday. By now, he’s lost the leash entirely. Maybe this is all just a dream sequence of a senile old man.
Lockhorns: Welcome to Hell. Here’s your exercycle.
9CL – it’s pretty indisputable that the character of Amos is an author avatar. As we are reminded today, he also pretty universally portrayed as a revolting human being. He’s pedantic and condescending, kissing the ass of anyone whose favor he seeks, and mocking anyone who he has no interest in. His parenting skills are as dubious as his status as a biological parent. Alongside his wife, it’s amazing that this strip has come to place its primary focus on these two deeply unlikeable characters.
There’s not even that “so bad, he’s good”, Tony Soprano appeal to him. He’s just an entitled nonentity.
We’ve gone from “three generations of strong willed women” to “an entitled narcissist and her simpering thrall”.
@taig: Re Rex Morgan – I hope constipated Hank Sr. didn’t take his phone with him to the bathroom. We’ve already had a week of that with Crankshaft, and I definitely don’t want to see Beatty’s version.
@Baja Gaijin: Probably the poop one.
I like the one with Mary at her meddling help booth best.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I was surprised because it was a nice idea with a good result. Bonus: Ms Thursday didn’t draw it.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: “…three generations of strong willed women” to “an entitled narcissist and her simpering thrall.”
Don’t forget the feral psychopathic children.
Pooch Cafe: He’s batshit crazy.
RwO: A semi-dramatic scene today by some of our Avians! You might be surprised to learn that sometimes it’s harder dealin’ with these “Birds of a feather” groups than with your typical mixed ensembles you see in Bird-feeder vignettes. When you get a bunch of relatives together, there’s always some domestic issues, family grievances, etc, at play. And in fact – it turns out that those two focus Birds DO have a previous relationship! Funny how art imitates life, ya know? Or is it the other way around…
Anyway they all handled the gig in a professional manner, at least on panel…
Crankshaft-Looks like they are moving into ‘Marvin’ territory.
Later that night, as Hank Jr. and Yvonne are driving home, they notice a car following closely behind them, periodically turning on its high beams. Try as they might, they can’t lose the car and it follows them home. There, they confront the driver, who reveals that he had been using the high beams to protect them from from Rene, who had been hiding in the back seat waiting for the right moment to strike
You can tell Becky has a life insurance claim on her husband. She’s no Jack @$$.
MW: Now I know some of you are worried about Greta, who’s portrayed as something of a dim bulb … but don’t worry, she’s gonna be fine. Of course you may want to worry about Saul, who’s no Spring Chicken, and could go any time. heh heh h.. Wait, that’s not funny to the demographic here…
But remember. Greta is in an enclosed dog park, so she’ll be okay off her leash. Unless she has dug a hole under the fence … but that’s highly unlikely. Or she maybe could have been bitten by a Snake or somethin’ .. but that’s probably not gonna happen either. She’s just gone for a little frolic and will be fine. I’m sure.
Hey, Intern – has Greta answered any of those calls or texts?
@McPerson: I’ve come across that story before. I have no idea if it’s an urban myth.
FC – And speaking of Bil’s car keys – Jef didn’t think of whiting them out and drawing a key fob? Don’t most cars today use a key fob? Yes, I know – they didn’t in 1978.
Last year I was at a gathering where there were a number of small children. I was surprised to see a toy key ring with a couple of plastic keys and a toy plastic fob on it. Time marches on.
Sex Organ V.D.: “Enjoy the ride Dad, and yes,I meant that sexually.” “Ewwwwwwww.”
Mutts – Okay, this one was actually funny.
Pluggers – You’re a plugger if it’s a toss-up whether your coupons will expire before you do.
I’d send that one in, but it’s probably too grim.
Barney Googled and Snuffed out Smith:They certainly grow Toll House™ crackers big and lumpy in Hooten Hollar.
@Dennis Jimenez: On JP – “Momentarily out of action, Temporarily out of gas…”
@102 Peanut Gallery:
Oh, I don’t think Pluggers has a problem dealing with death.
RM: In any other soap opera – comic strip, TV or whatever – Hank Senior’s final sentence would be some serious foreshadowing. In Rex Morgan, meh.
@McPerson: Just as well for Rene. If he tried to attack Hank from the backseat, he’d just miss and go flying out the rolled-down window.
Impressive artwork in the last panel of today’s Mary Worth:
Fear, rage, worry, stress, early stages of a heart attack, and outright panic about how this plot went from 0 to 0.0000009.
@108 His Helper Emmy Jo:
I assume you’re not referring to Baja‘s mashups. @43 Baja Gaijin:
Come on. When your mother “boops” your nose, and has the same expression on her face as she does when trying to force out a stubborn stool, you know you’ll never be held accountable for any transgressions.
@Sequitur: Dave Berg presents: The Lighter Side of… Death.
@111 Peanut Gallery:
Old jokes but ya got to love Dave’s artwork.
9 Weirdchick Lame: Worst episode of “Babewatch” ever!
@Sequitur: Right you are. Brigman=mere artwork. Baja=masterpieces
@I speak Jive: Nah, I’m pretty sure Hank Sr. isn’t as much of an asshole as Crankshaft, so he gets his newspaper on time and free of dog shit.
(Not speaking from personal experience as a former newspaper delivery person)
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: It’s a good thing dachshunds aren’t notorious diggers.
{Looks at Wikipedia} Oh.
JP: At some point every relationship comes down to the same issues. “You don’t listen to me.” “We don’t want the same things.” “I only feel alive when killing.” Et bloody cetera.
RMMD: How will Ol’ Horrible Hank feel when he finds out his old student tried to kill his son? Well, he makes horror comics, so maybe he’ll be grateful for the idea. Might even be able to work it into a graphic novel.
GASOLINE ALLEY; Wait, wouldn’t the old coor be concered about the phone “stealing his soul” or whatever?
9CL: As far as comic strips where some characters can read the thoughts of some other characters, Sally Forth is at the top, Garfield is somewhere below it, and this, well…
C-Shaft: And so the week ends as it began: with me asking “Why on Earth would you ask him that question?” and “What, exactly, were you expecting?”
DT: They’re in the exercise yard, so the Jumbler feels obligated to at least look like he’s exercising.
FC: Like especially that one hymn about the joy in the face of the apocalypse where the words come too fast for the parishioners to understand them but everyone knows when to shout “LEONARD BERNSTEIN!”
Phantom: That he can be in the middle of breaking a hot insane pirate and a shitload of other people out of prison and right at that moment let his agenda be hijacked by a bunch of bored paper pushers? That truth about John X?
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Wow. The Jumbler was such an inane character I can’t remember anything about him.
What was HIS bit? Did he jumble things up — y’know, in an illicit fashion?
(Incidentally, the third guy with Mumbles and Double-Up the other day wasn’t Stooge Viller, it was BB-Eyes [who actually did crimes with M. & D.U.]. He was hard to recognize because he was missing his signature giant bowler hat.)
Wrecks Moregone:
Is Hankjunior sure Horrible Hanksenior can handle this level of snooz…I mean breathless excitement?
**************************
Wary Morth:
Greta took one look at Panel 2 Saul and began digging a tunnel to China.
@Ukulele Ike:
On the Jumbler, Dick Tracy villain :
I think he was a serial killer who patterned his crimes after the beloved newspaper puzzle the Daily Jumble? And Dick Tracy had to call in the actual, real-life person in charge of making the Daily Jumble to cameo and help solve the crime for him?
…He might have just been a generic robber rather than a killer, but I think that was the gist?
On “Stooge Villers” actually being B-B Eyes : Look, I can’t keep track of the less disfigured, more generic Dick Tracy villains, especially when they don’t appear that often! It’s hard telling these weirdoes apart sometimes!
@Peanut Gallery: The morning sun, when it’s in your eyes really shows your rage; But that don’t worry me none if your in a cage; Your crack has all been smoked; Hey, baby – how ‘bout a toke; Oh April I couldn’t be fried any more-e-or….
@Anonymous: Don’t feel bad…many a man has been waylaid into the paths of confusion by the absence of a giant bowler hat.
I looked up The Jumbler on the invaluable Dick Tracy Wiki. Christ, he was even stupider than that. A garishly-outfitted thief based on Batman’s The Riddler, who likes to give detectives lots of clues so that it’s easier to throw him in jail.
@Ukulele Ike: Ah, thanks for the clarifier on BB Eyes. I felt like I had seen him before but I couldn’t place him (beyond the obvious Hope resemblance, of course.)
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Wouldn’t a Dick Tracy villain based on Bob Hope be called “Ski-Nose?”
Or possibly “Mr. Eson-Iks,” according to Chester Gould’s celebrated sense of humor?
@126 Ukulele Ike:
Either that or ButIWannaTellYa.
Judge Parker Brothers:”Randy,all that’s left is I’m a joker,a smoker,and a midnight toker! Some people call me a space cowboy,Randy, some call me Maurice.”
GA: A normal phone doesn’t have an eleven on it either, moron, but could you probably figure out how to dial 1 twice?
GA: If anyone has Rufus in the Dead Pool and is waiting on tenterhooks for Becky’s ex to shamble through the rusty gates of that great big junkyard in the sky, you have my sympathies. It won’t happen. But at least you are having the pleasure of seeing Rufus lying there comatose and unable to talk. Doctor Jeff has never given me that pleasure.
@Garrison Skunk: Judge Parker Brothers:”Randy,all that’s left is I’m a joker,a smoker,and a midnight toker! Some people call me a space cowboy,Randy, some call me Maurice.”
“Cause I speak of the bazongas of love.”
(People often mis-hear that one word. I am certain I have it right, though.)
JP: I never did understand what Randy saw in that girl.
LUANN: I never did understand what Bernice saw on that boy.
CRANKSHAFT: I never did understand why someone didn’t kill him decades ago.
MW: … Arther Zerro?
MW: They’ve gone to great lengths to portray this as a enclosed dog park, where you can have your dogs off-leash, but all the dog parks I’ve seen are of a size where you can always see your dog, and everyone else. Of course no one would see Pierre luring Greta away to outside the fence where Odin and Libby would be waiting with transport. Pierre would have no knowledge of their true plans, but that’s OK, Pierre is no longer needed; so two birds, so to speak.