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The Lockhorns, 7/1/23

Ahh, another entry in the “Lockhorns are millennials” files: Yes, Leroy got up to 301 at UCB, yes he absolutely was that guy who derailed every scene to focus on his extremely unfunny obsessions, yes, he always tried to push things towards scenarios that would allow him to feel up his female classmates, and yes everyone he took the class with set up a new group chat without him as soon as the class ended. He preemptively told Loretta “not to bother” coming to the class show at the end of the session because “most people don’t have guests” — he told himself it was because maybe something might happen with one of the girls in the class at the afterparty, but in fact he knew that if Loretta had seen him alive and vulnerable on stage, she would have delivered one of the most savage putdowns she’d ever mustered on the ride home.

Mary Worth, 7/1/23

Ha ha, what if it were a pizza, though. It would be pretty funny if there were just a big pizza lying on the ground and Max ran up and started snarfing up all that cheese and getting tomato sauce all over his snout. Turns out Max doesn’t give a shit about Greta! It was about the pizza all along!