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Dennis the Menace, 1/28/24

Folks, let me tell you something about my brain (and yeah, sorry, you’re reading a blog with the URL josh reads dot com, you signed up for information about Josh’s brain): I need to create elaborate systems for myself in my home so that I don’t forget where important everyday objects (keys, wallet, glasses, etc.) are, and the real necessity of these rituals is brought home to me every time I travel anywhere and immediately lose everything in a relatively small guest bedroom or hotel room. Names? Of people? Whom I have met socially on multiple occasions, and about whom I could tell you any number of things about their lives and hopes and dreams? You think I’m going to remember their names? You sweet summer child. You think I don’t maintain a Word document called everybodys_names.docx for each job or professional relationship I’ve ever had? Because I do, I absolutely do maintain those documents, thank you very much.

But, today? When I read today’s Dennis the Menace? I felt the phrase “Oh, the Mitchell family, the star of the syndicated Dennis the Menace comic strip, have a storage unit” sink into my brain, and I knew, I knew with absolute certainty that this bit of Dennis the Menace lore was now burned in there permanently. The next time I go anywhere, and I look desperately around the room trying to find my keys, and then I close my eyes to try to visualize where I left them, I know that what I’ll actually see is Henry Mitchell, Dennis the Menace’s father, looking around at all the boxes in his storage unit, and shaking his head at how Alice doesn’t think he needs a place to put this stuff.

Beetle Bailey, 1/28/24

Ha ha, look at Killer! He’s severely traumatized. I don’t think he was even beat up — this is all just from psychological abuse. I guess the other soldiers should really start to appreciate how Beetle serves as a ritual scapegoat for the whole camp!