Neologistic nights
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Tina’s Groove, 5/8/24
So Tina’s Groove is one of the “new” comics I’ve been reading lately, though in the interest of total accuracy I should note that these strips aren’t new at all, seeing as Tina’s Groove stopped publishing in 2017 and a cursory glance at the copyright date would reveal that this strip in particular is 15 years old. But who cares! I still hate on Crock despite it being in perpetual reruns, because the people want my opinions [note to self: double-check on this] and anyway, the origin of this site was me making fun of whatever happened to be in the paper’s comics section that day, and now we’re just letting “King Features’ Comics Kingdom website” stand in for “the paper” in a transition that definitely explains why the economics of journalism are in total freefall.
Anyway, a fun thing about these older strips is seeing that even in fairly recent history some terms we take for granted had not quite gelled. Was there really a time, when this blog was already a going concern making jokes about how Dr. Jeff’s daughter accidentally fell for a bigamist, when people were calling fist bumps “knuckle bumping”? Or was Tina’s Groove just extremely unhip? I’ll just say that it could’ve gone worse.
Gasoline Alley,5/8/24
Speaking of linguistic evolution and being extremely unhip, has there ever been a worse rebranding in history than Twitter becoming “X”? This is a name that literally nobody uses in real life, and I speak as someone hopelessly addicted to the site (they briefly banned me for no reason I could ever establish, then decided that the harshest punishment they could give me was to let me back on). Basically the only people who ever use the “real” name are publications that feel like they have to and people trying to ingratiate themselves with Elon Musk. I honestly feel like getting Gasoline Alley to use it is a real coup, and I think they could’ve dispensed with the “formerly known as Twitter” bit because it’s not like the strip readership has ever heard of it. They already started panicking when they read the word “internet”!
237 replies to “Neologistic nights”
Mary Worth Mashups: Which altered final panel is most entertaining?
GA: “X, the site formerly known as Prince.’
MW: Answer the phone, Wilbur. It’s the only person on Earth who doesn’t view you with scorn/revulsion. You can’t afford to be all, “I vant to be alone,” here.
“Dr. Jeff’s daughter accidentally fell for a bigamist…”
Cupcakes with pretty pink frosting are no match for Mary Muffins.
@Baja Gaijin:
Panel 2 slightly ahead of 1
Jealous stalking Wilbur is the BEST Wilbur!
TG: Sorry, but ‘knuckle-bumping’ just makes me think of ‘the move’ in that classic episode of Seinfeld. In short Tina, I wouldn’t worry unless it turns into a pinch or a counter-clockwise swirl.
GA “Wait, Twitter changed their name? But if they can do it…oh god. We’ve made a terrible mistake.. !”
Tina’s Groove: Was trying to remember Dr Jeff’s daughter falling for a bigamist but realized I couldn’t remember him having a daughter. That’s a good thing, right?
MW: Wilbur relaxes on his sofa after consuming a heavy snack of two fish.
TG: I didn’t understand why (who I assume is) Tina always looked so miserable for no particular reason, but now it is all clear. Not only does she have waitressin’ shifts in the evening, during the day she’s tasked with manning the city’s walls, fending off besiegers and dodging trebuchet projectiles, and all they gave her for equipment was a purse full of rocks and an unfashionable jacket.
GA: An old man fears inconsequential change? Wow, I’ve got to get online fast and tell everyone!
Luann: Don’t have several thousand dollars lying around to spend on a spontaneous lengthy trip? You’re unmotivated. Don’t know the language of the classes that are starting next month or sooner? You lack the willpower to define yourself. The US government takes weeks to process passport documents even with expediting? Where’s your ambition, coward? And don’t even pretend you can apply yourself in some convenient local cooking class. Only fat people cook.
MW: Last time Mary called Wilbur when he was clearly lonely and unhappy and he didn’t pick up, she immediately and magically intuited his mental state, location, and plans (i.e. killing himself out of despair by jumping off a cliff). But now, in the exact same situation and circumstances? Eh, he’s probably just busy.
RMMD: Did something happen to Terry Beatty? He’s an awful artist and a worse writer, but this arc has been terrible even by his standards. Hell, this garbage stacks up poorly even compared to the final months of A3G.
GA: This has all been a long con/story/rant against Twitter rebranding. Well done, Scancarelli. Too bad fame doesn’t bring money like in other ‘Verses.
RxMD: With her overwhelming guilt, the only place for Sarah is Catholic School.
Luann: Welp, that was easily dismissed! Is this a new record for the Evansii flushing a potentially interesting story arc down the memory hole?
RMMD: Atta girl, just look at that pissyface! She’s been practicing, a regular chip off the old hair helmet!
MW: Heeeeeey… we just might get a replay of Kelrast Kurve out of this!
Wilbur’s not answering. Maybe he’s wearing his new pants, and he left his phone in his other pair of pants.
GA: Is there no punchline here because they used up their allotted dialogue space on explaining the important news that X used to be know as Twitter?
JP: Maybe it’s a California thing but Declan pairing red wine with a stack of pancakes seems a bit off.
@11 The Quiet Man: on Luann: The storyline I wish was flushed down the memory hole quickly was Bernice sitting on the toilet. EWwww.
@jroggs:
On Tina looking sad : those are her hair bangs, not her eyebrows. Her unsmiling expression is meant to look blank/neutral, not like she’s about to start uncontrollably weeping
though yeah, from context you’d get the idea that Tina is perpetually miserable************
On Luann, and how only gluttons learn to cook : yeah, it’s not like Luann knows people who run a restaurant who’d probably like having a second chef who can cook different meals!
MW: Wilbur’s new off brand hair restoring cream is growing new hairs across his head all right but simultaneously giving him suicidal thoughts. And don’t ask about his perineum.
TG: I’m going to guess that “knuckle” is a stand-in for a different part of the male anatomy, so the comic could remain reader friendly.
GA: It looks like “X” is well and truly dead now. Thanks, Gasoline Alley.
TG – Man, I am really bad at guessing punchlines. I thought she had discovered that she and her boyfriend were living on a fault line. But sure, a knuckle-bumping joke is much funnier.
Frazz: How insightful! Fast food isn’t as fast as people think it is. I have totally revised my view of fast food thanks to today’s strip!
Luann: Yeah, there was absolutely no frickin’ way Luann was going to Italy for any period of time. Anyway, I hope we get to see her take this “Italian cooking” class where Luann realizes she can’t boil noodles.
CS: Lillian is going to be disappointed when her “payment” is an autographed copy of Dinkle’s book.
@taig: If Tom and Leo are bumping moose knuckles, then Blonde Not-Tina’s relationship problems are far worse than mere bromance.
9CL: Just what this strip needs: more hideous children living in the Void!
MW: Uh oh. It looks like Wilbur is going to turn from casual misanthropy to serious misanthropy.
Zits: That’s why one of those bills should have “slipped” out of the wallet, Jeremy.
FC: After that, Dolly will be able to use her bloody nose to paint a beautiful sunset.
@Baja Gaijin: I vote for option #3.
Gasoline Alley: I prefer to think that Mr. Walt and Miss Melba’s praises have been sung, cow-punk-narcocorrida-style, by the likes of John Doe, Exene Cervenka, Billy Zoom and D.J. Bonebrake, formerly and still very much known as X. I mean, I really prefer it.
GA: When Walt reads through all of the coverage of his preservation effort on Xitter, he will either be recruited by a gang of neo-confederates who want to use his newfound reputation of “keeping things the same” to stop Lee statues from being taken down, or he’ll be seen as a champion of social justice for taking a stand against gentrification.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: (Note to self: check X touring schedule.)
Wait, so a slimy guy who loves electric cars and AI wheedled his way into power to change the name of a widely beloved (well, barely tolerated) institution… Are they hinting that the entire Gasoline Alley plot was an elaborate metaphor for Elon Musk’s Twitter takeover?! Did GA just do a topical satire about corporate Big Tech? The world is spinning around me. I feel sick.
Tina is concerned about Tom’s interest in her groove.
In fairness, Musk has won the name battle. I see news reports about X – without the once obligatory “formerly known as” all the time now.
Just like in real life, the Gasoline Alley characters aren’t being featured in any platform used by young people.
@InvasionOfTheZIM: He’d go viral when someone retweets his rant about how cars are so great they should name the town after them, with the caption “The European mind cannot comprehend this”.
Mary Worth: It’s awesome how Wilbur’s phone is sitting right there on his gut, and he somehow is completely unaware that it’s ringing. Say, Mary, if you’re so concerned about Wilbur and his feelings, why don’t you date him?
@20 taig: on Luann: Luann in Italy? Luann in an airport. I can totally see her blundering through the wrong door, ending up wandering around active taxiways. Because of her Inner Beauty, she doesn’t get sucked up into an A350’s powerful jet engine.
Wilbur: New pants! Who dis?
MW-Life is brutal.
Luann-Luann is right. She’ll need a passport and those take some time to get.
Luann-Is this a school sponsored study because I can’t imagine a community college offering a study overseas.
MW: No need to tell your fish about the wallet. They assumed something along those lines anyway.
Using the new name for Twitter? Gertie has definitely paid for a blue check mark and is very much unaware of the irony of cheering Walt for averting a pointless name change off an established property.
@Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis):
LOL!
Pibgorn – It seems to me that even if this eldritch abomination is technically born under wedlock, the Catholic Church would be somewhat reluctant to accept the legitimacy of the spawn of a large insect and a thirteen-year-old boy.
MW – Leave it to Wilbur to make ABBA’s “Ring, Ring” his ringtone. C’mon Wilbur! Eveyone knows it’s only hip to like the post-Eurovision-era ABBA.
@Kevin on Earth: re MW: “No need to tell your fish about the wallet.” Especially if it’s an eel-skin wallet.
Me, I’m just pleased that despite Ta-Nehisi Coates’ attempt to educate the misinformed, fist-bump as a term has taken over and now rules supreme over “giving dap”.
Luann: It’s called Bellezza Interiore in Italy. You’re welcome, Evansii.
9CL – Edda and Xiulan both didn’t know about the news until Edda told them, so presumably neither of them are pregnant.
That leaves a few dregs of the cast who haven’t been seen in years. It’s like an election with no good candidates, we can choose from: Fleurry Spocket and Sven. Thorax and Cop Girlfriend (ewww). Ginger and Gerald. Mary Rosenzweig and a Turkey Baster.
Or Seth and Fernanda…..
I have a strange feeling that this entire Gasoline Alley plot was developed in order to take a jab at the Twitter name change. If so–well done, Mr. Scancerelli, you have acquired at least one new fan.
9CL – Xiulan just had a baby. It was born, handed to Xiulan, and she and Hugh started discussing teaching the infant “how to accept applause”. Then a week later it was all forgotten and has never been mentioned again. I’d hope this child will meet the same fate.
@jroggs: Re: RMMD— Remember when we all made fun of the last throes of APARTMENT 3G, and it turned out the cartoonist was dying? I fear something like that maybe happening to RMMD, and where will your snark be THEN?
Rex Morgan – Hmm. Chocolate cravings? Inexplicable moodiness and self-pity? Door slamming? This is a Sarah-Gets-Her-Period piece, isn’t it?
If it’s not, I pity them for wasting an excellent set-up.
MW: I remain convinced KM is redoing It’s a Wonderful Life except Mary already has her wings.
@BeckoningChasm: Never overestimate the ring power of modern phones. I’ve had mine go off IN MY HAND, while I was using it, and been completely oblivious.
*JP*: I’m sorry, but this strip has conditioned me to the point where unless a character is in imminent peril of death and/or dismemberment, I can’t even be bothered. We need a shotgun at this wedding!
MW: It’s fitting that there’s a picture of Dawn in the corner, both to serve as the source of Wilbur’s downward spiral and to also remind us that Wilbur is not only acting like a bratty teenage girl but he’s also the father of one. The mayonnaise is always scraped out of the same jar, after all.
Mary Worth: “I’m tired of relationships, and frankly… just tired of people period! Also, I’m tired of using my hands to hold up my cellphone when I can use my belly to do it! Its shape and extra volume make it the perfect natural lap desk! And to think, my ex-wife always nagged me because I loved eating extra big portions… Well, who’s laughing now, dearie?! WHO’S LAUGHING — oops, the phone fell off. Dang it!”
@BeckoningChasm: Mary won’t date Wilbur because
MoyMary doesn’t date out of love but rather to extort. Dr. Jeff is part of a heavily closeted group of people due to the homophobic 1950s political climate of Santa Royale so Mary acts as his beard while using his high social status to meddle freely without consequences.@51 Buck Ripsnort: You’ve inspired a Pluggers:
“Elon Musk responded that the news was ‘concerning!'”
GA- Yep, they’re all over the media. What she doesn’t say is that the headlines are all “Why isn’t he dead yet?”
Baja Gaijin! Don’t touch the Jack-In-The-Box!
MARY WORTH: “Oh good, now’s my chance,” Mary said as she hung up the phone and started boarding up Wilbur’s doorway.
MARY WORTH (2): The next strip is going to be Wilbur coming home to see a deranged Mary boiling Willa and Stellan into salmon squares
Mary: “I’m not going to be be ignored, Wilbur!”
Pluggers: When you no longer worry about getting cavities from sugary cereals, you know you’re a Plugger.
And a tip o’ the hat to David “Gums” Frueh of Tiffin, IA
@1 Baja Gaijin:
Number one is ridiculous. Wilbur hasn’t had time to set up a camera in her or the waiter’s bedroom and it’s doubtful he would know how. But number two is pure Wilbur!
I just call it “ex-Twitter.”
@Baja Gaijin: I’ll take Number One because I’m currently in the mood for Glum Wilbur rather than Gonna-Get-Arrested Wilbur or Grim Wilbur. But it’s nice of you to provide choice!
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
RMMD: Rex and June stand perplexed as Sarah head butt slams the door shut.
“Is she nuts!?”
“Prolly.” Replies Rex as he shrugs his shoulders.
Tina’s Groove – Spotting a defunct strip in reruns being reviewed by Josh is like randomly seeing a middling late 2000s comedy on streaming or cable that you missed when it came out the first time.
Gasoline Alley – Out of curiosity I searched Google News for Gasoline Alley news, and really only saw some mentions last year when some Gannett affiliated newspapers dropped the strip amid the company standardizing their comics page amid their private equity overlord’s managed decline and raiding of the last assets of once prized community assets.
ZITS:. Jeremy and mommy conscience are (not) rewarded for a kind deed by an entitled man who looks and acts like Dustin’s dad. Which is why I don’t read Dustin unless y’all mention it. Whatta jerk.
I imagine Karen Moy is praising herself for knowing what “voicemail” is while at the same time, Wilbur’s phone is making the same sound that a traditional phone would make. “See, I keep up with the times! I’m up to date on modern technology! Now who wants to go rent ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ at Blockbuster?”
GA: This is unusually timely for Gasoline Alley. If there’s one place on the Internet where people would be celebrating this minor small-town drama as a triumph of good honest Americans over The Woke Agenda, it would be X-formerly-known-as-Twitter.
DtM: “Throw pillows and sweater pillows are two different things!!” Screams Alice as she applies an ice pack to her left nipple.
@Needless Exposition:
#53 MW:. Dawn had just been assured by Mary she was becoming like her reprehensible father. Now she’s moved to Connecticut perhaps to become more like her despised mother. Poor teen doesn’t have a chance
GA: Walt is blobbing out again now that he’s back home, instead of remaining the mean lean fighting machine he became in Gasoline Alley City Hall. Sad but possibly inevitable. Who knows for sure, because good research on men who are, what is it now, about 130 years old, is hard to find.
She had to make sure she specified that X used to be Twitter, otherwise Walt would go on for hours about the newfangled “interwebs” and those sites with ladies that ain’t got no clothes on and it would angry up his blood and she’d never get him to sleep after his 3pm pudding snack.
CS: Oh man, not more of this “Claude Barlow” shit. It wasn’t funny when Funky Winkerbean was set in a high school and it’s not funny now.
Luann: This is not how college works. It’s not even how high school works.
MW: Your occasional reminder that ANYTHING Dawn is doing in Connecticut would be more interesting than Wilbur feeling sorry for himself.
Pluggers: Pluggers are fat # 21,753.
MW: Ah, Wilbur. Heed the siren call of Kelrast Kurve.
MW: So Wilbur’s through with people. Does this mean he’s going to start dating animals? The local sheep and goat farmers had better be warned.
FC: Not as blue as the welts on your fat, little ass once Mommy takes the garden hose to you.
FC: HTT Grandma is thinking, “Well, Thel has herself to blame, leaving her harlot face paint lying about for the kids to find.”
@73 Poteet:
It’s a known fact that once you reach 120 you are granted shape-shifting powers.
@Activist 1234: Dawn already acted like her breakup with Jared is so psychologically damaging to her even though she ogled other men in full view of him for “aesthetic reasons” and lied about grinding on them because she thinks it’s best to lie about what she does so she can have a good time. But it’s poor Dawn suffering from it all because Jared got a rebound and she didn’t.
@Baja Gaijin: I could see her accidentally getting inside a piece of luggage, though.
TG – The next step is bound to be junk-bumping….
GA – This strip is so hip….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
LUANN: What Luann babbled, plus the Evansii would have to portray Italy. Italy has done nothing awful enough in the past seventy years to deserve that. Also, the thought occurs that Tara might be trying to give herself a Luann-free existence for a few months. Understandable, if so.
@Sequitur: Wow. It could be fun if Walt made much better use of his.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I’d rather listen to “Kelrast Kurve” than “Muddy Boots.”
RMMD: “You’re right! It was your fault! Well, maybe a month chained in the basement will teach you the error of your ways!”
MW: It’s okay, Wilbur. People are tired of you, too.
I’d rather see commentary on “Crock” than “Mary Worth” or “Gil Thorp.”
I’ve been following this blog for many years now and I always skip the posts on the soap opera comics.
Now that I’ve thought about it too much, ‘neologistics’ would be a new form of logistics, and not have anything to do with neologisms or linguistics. So today’s title should be ‘Neomorphology Nights.’
Yes, curmudgeons and pedants have much in common, why do you ask?
@85 Paladin:
That’s a bit ironic since this blog was started to snarf the soap opera comics especially Mary Worth.
C’shaft: Yes, the part-time jazz combo made up entirely of assisted living residents absolutely has the budget to compensate its members beyond free use of the Bedside Manor shuttle for getting to and from the community center that’s the only place willing to host their performances.
DT: Okay, I’m confused. Do Gotham City and Batman exist in the Tracyverse? If so, is this supposed to be a prop vehicle from some adaptation of the Caped Crusader’s exploits, or the genuine article? If it’s the former, why does it have built-in fireworks? If it’s the latter, why is Tracy bragging about riding in “the real one”? And what the Hell does all this have to do with Croptop using a picture book to find the hiding place of some other criminal’s loot?
Dustin: “Look, this is the one day of the year we offer a token gesture of affection to our mom, let’s not pretend either of us has the moral high ground here.”
GT: “No, I haven’t heard of ‘NIL contracts’, why do you ask?”
JP: No, that’s a legitimate question. I mean, who the Hell IS Reena? How does Sophie know her? Is this like the thing they did with Dawn in Buffy the Vampire Slayer where she was magically retconned into existence so everyone instantly acted like Buffy always had a younger sister?
Luann: Let’s see, spend a lot of money and put your entire life on hold to run away and join the circus for a few weeks, or take a single class that, even if you don’t show any particular genius or passion for the subject, will still give you some experience with a practical life skill. Luann’s in the right here, Tara. Do you know how absolutely wrong-headed you have to be for Luann to have the better idea?
MW: Finally, Wilbur is on the same page with the rest of the world!
Pluggers have the diet of an eight-year-old. (Also, shouldn’t the Cap’n be some sort of anthropomorphic animal? An otter, perhaps, or a walrus?)
SH: Yeah, I know how that is. When I bottle up things inside me for a long time my hair starts acting like Doc Ock’s tentacles.
@Poteet: On the other hand, Luann visited New York City without seeing anything besides a subway car and the dark interior of a nameless club. The Clan Evans version of Italy would likely bear an uncanny resemblance to the interior of an Olive Garden.
MW: the person in the photo on the end table appears to have Dawn Syndrome.
Luann: Luann would have the least pinchable ass in Italy.
I got banned once on Twitter, formerly known as X, and it was because I said that the person the post was about deserved an ass kicking. The person in question was a grown adult pretending to be a dog.
@88 TheDiva: on DT
Fun fact. The original
HatBatmobile you saw on TV couldn’t go over 45 miles per hour.GA: The day before, something in the strip gave me a brief, shuddering premonition that Walt, having saved Gasoline Alley’s name, was about to go off to his eternal reward, his earthly work done. That can’t be, can it?
MW: And so begins the transformation of Wilbur Weston into a hermetic monk, spending the remaining years of his life atop a pillar in emulation of the stylites of ancient Egypt (said pillar being a telephone pole in the outskirts of Santa Royale).
@95 Daisy:
And then Wilbur tries to commit suicide with a slingshot.
@Baja Gaijin: #56
Is this by any chance autobiographical?? :-)
@brendancalling: #75
“MW: Your occasional reminder that ANYTHING Dawn is doing in Connecticut would be more interesting than Wilbur feeling sorry for himself.”
This strip is becoming increasingly Wilbur-centric, which, to me at least, means increasingly boring and unappealing.
@Daisy: I think Dawn is a spoiled brat following in her father’s footsteps but I would still follow her rather than Wilbur any day of the week.
@Sequitur: #96
…and Wilbur being Wilbur, actually succeeds…
@97 Daisy:
You know it is.
@101 Sequitur: Hey! Don’t bogart my line. @Daisy: Mayyyybe.
@TheDiva: re JP: Reena is an extremely forgettable character, especially since her personality is the same as every other character in the expanded Marciulianoverse, but she is actually an established figure. She is Sophie’s college roommate. She was first seen several years ago rolling her eyes and quipping when Sophie rolled in from one of her numerous lengthy absences from university. Her most prominent appearance was when she visited Cavelton with Sophie during Sam and Abbey’s separation; she didn’t do anything noteworthy or anything, but she was very much there sucking up panels while the Spencer-Driver quarrels were relegated to off-page mentions, and she has retained her presence and name with moderate consistency, which is more than can be said for Lil Dunk Eric or Helena Bowerns.
All that said, if Reena happens to inspire Sophie to fatally hurl herself into a dimensional hell rift, she will become easily the best character this series has ever seen.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Stop that!”
“How many times have I told you, chop on the 2 and the 4!”
@Sequitur: #101
*wink!*
Man, Flo is a wimp in this reboot! In the original she’d just say, “Kiss My Grits, Tom!”, to the cheers and applause of the audience.
@Needless Exposition: #99
I remember years and years ago this strip actually had serious semi-dramatic storylines that I looked forward to reading, but lately – to me, at least – it just seems like an endless loop of Wilbur, Wilbur, Wilbur. This latest iteration of Wilbur’s dysfunctional relationship with the rest of humanity is just tiresome. I think I may just start following the strip on this blog – at least I’ll be rewarded with everyone’s clever comments!
@Peanut Gallery:
Why isn’t “CHOP” in Spanish? I hope someone got fired for that mistake!
@Baja Gaijin: #102
*wink wink* :-)
@108 Garrison Skunk:
*PICAR*
La Belleza Interior, translated:
“300 Vendos! It’s the thrilling action classic about how a small group of soda and snack machines held off hundreds of thousands of customers with wrinkly dollar bills!”
“How exotic!”
“It’s overrated.”
“But I have three tickets, Bernice! You in?”
“Actually, I’d rather perform a tubal ligation on myself without anesthetic.”
“Oh, that reminds me! Guys, I got Tara pregnant!”
@Daisy: I thought that the storyline with Toby being an art teacher for college students was ridiculous (if anything, she’s only got the mental capacity to teach preschoolers how to finger paint) and at least with Keith’s story, it had a different cast of characters even if they were all incredibly predictable stereotypes. This story is only Wilbur being an obnoxious, self absorbed toad who has done nothing but throw pity parties and shove people while daydreaming about punching his ex’s husband.
Crank: “It was very well received”= “Nobody was comfortable screaming abuse or throwing things at us, because we were in church!”
GT: “What are the chances of a career-ending injury happening to me?” Rod asks as he presses an ice pack against the shoulder he pulled during Gil’s unconventional training. Take the warning, kid; If Gil Thorp says you’re going to have a career-ending injury, you will have a career-ending injury.
Heath: Jimmy’s hanging out with everyone’s favourite pop-culture frogs! Kermit! Michigan J.! Two other frogs, one of which looks a bit like Pepe but I sincerely hope isn’t!
JP: The only thing more annoying than the “appear out of nowhere to quip” schtick that Ces gives his secondary characters is the primary characters constantly pointing it out.
The Family Circus: “And my blood is great for coloring the fire engine.”
@Baja Gaijin: I’m torn between the second and third one.
@Hibbleton: It pains me to say this, but I immediately remembered that Dr. Jeff’s daughter is Adrian. She’s also a doctor and married Defective -er, Detective Scott, who was wounded in the spectacular Santa Royale shootout with drug dealers.
Dr. Jeff has a son who is also a doctor, and he has an issue with getting into relationships with loose women. Two of them had a memorable catfight over him. His name escapes me at the moment.
@Old School Allie Cat: Oh, my gosh – I bet you’re right. I was thinking that this episode was intended to tell readers what to do if their dog eats a pan of brownies, but it could be pivoting to a “Sarah hits puberty” story. I guarantee that the story will be boring with lots of repetition, and I wonder how much Rex will have to dance around accurate language to avoid upsetting some readers.
On the other hand, I don’t want to see Mary Worth do this story.
@TheDiva: Yep, Gotham exists in the Tracyverse. “Broadway” Bates, the well-dressed overweight Neo-Chicago criminal with a beak-like nose and a monocle, was revealed to have a brother there named Oswald (you see? you see what they did there?) But this is very specifically drawn as the Batmobile from the 1960s TV series, which I guess is based on the real Batman’s adventures?
@I speak Jive: And one of those “loose women” happened to be Dawn Weston!
Seeing that we have seven additional years of Tina’s Groove to look at in hindsight, any update on whether this “Tom” and his friend “Leo” ever opened up a B&B together?
Six Chex Leave The Driving to Anubis: CWCID, I smiled at today’s laughing square, good job!
Oh, and secondsies to Josh on the whole X/Twitter thing. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to Musk that the URL would be making a liar out of him anytime that anyone actually looked at the site.
MW: Meanwhile, somewhere in Connecticut. —
Dawn sat silently in the car as her mother drove home, cringing as she re-lived the humiliation she had felt at the Mother-Daughter debutante luncheon. Those silly girls – so immature and snobby… they thought she didn’t hear one of them say “chunky”…. I’m just from a different world than those posers. I’ve “lived” a life they can’t even imagine! They’re just begun their college studies, while I’ve made a years-long career of it! And they think I’m “old”, even with my updated Taylor Swift hairstyle… she’s only, what, thirty-four?
And that fitting at the dressmaker for the ball gown! Another embarrassment when she suggested I needed to lose a few pounds before the debutante ball. Why is Mom putting me through all this? I had just hoped we’d “re-connect” with my visit, not be made over to impress Mom’s society friends! Maybe Dad was right. Maybe that’s all she cares about.
Dawn’s thoughts brightened when they pulled into the driveway, and she saw an unfamiliar car parked there. How could I forget? Mom said the new pool boy would start today! Now this might perk things up around here! How long since I’ve seen a “real man”… like Jared…
The mother and daughter watched as a tall, tanned, Adonis-like figure emerged from behind the house. Dawn noticed the faint sounds of her mother’s rapid breathing, while she herself began to feel a little woozy. “Dawn, dear, why don’t you go on in the house while I tell Javier what I’ll be expecting from him.” Dawn stood motionless for a moment, then turned and raced toward the door. She quickly turned the key in the lock, entered and hit the stairs two at a time, ready to change into her new bathing suit….
@113 Horace Broon: on Heath
The tall frog is Freddy from New Zoo Revue. The frog with the cigar is Chauncey “Flat Face” Frog from Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse.
Crankshaft – I obviously despise Loathsome Lillian, but I find it especially annoying when she puts on the fake modesty act. “Sing? Me? Oh, goodness gracious.” Come on. She’s a loathsome hag who took it upon herself to ruin her sister’s life. She certainly has the gumption to sing in public.
Kliban – This is too self aware to be a Late Nite Cuisine.
Looks Good On Paper – How does he track his steps?
9CL – First, why isn’t Hugh cowering in his childhood bathroom instead of walking around and responding to Xuilan? He used to be the world’s worst milquetoast, and now he’s near a woman and isn’t quaking in fear.
Second, the artwork in the third panel is abysmal. Brooke likes to draw his women wrapping their legs around their thralls, but it’s drawn as if she has no body at all, just a head and legs.
@Needless Exposition: I forgot about that! Fortunately for Dawn, she didn’t get into a fight over him. That was Ashlee and the other trollop he was involved with.
Mannequin On The Moon: Did you know…
Reincarnation is conditional.
Suburban Fairy Tails: How to escape quicksand.
@Voshkod:
Now that I’ve thought about it too much, ‘neologistics’ would be a new form of logistics,
____________________________
Isn’t neologistics the study of how things work in Dick Tracy’s Neo Chicago?
Curtis: Curtis gets the crap beat out of him when he decides to walk around the ‘hood speaking in a British accent
Dog death in the comics that should have happened yet didn’t.
Vintage Mark Trail
@I speak Jive:
@Baja Gaijin: I’m torn between the second and third one.
_______________________________
Which brings to mind the roots country song …. Torn between two Bajas, feeling like a fool/ knowing that voting for both is breaking all the rules.
@131 Garrison Skunk:
Wasn’t My Two Bahas a television show?
@I speak Jive: #123
Re. 9CL: Xiulan is morphing into a praying mantis, isn’t she. I can’t wait to see her bite off Hugh’s head.
@Garrison Skunk: In that case, neologistics is the study of how to get enough bullets to Dick Tracy so he can continue ‘policing’ neo-Chicago.
@Sequitur: #125
Ha!
@I speak Jive: #115|
“Dr. Jeff has a son who is also a doctor, and he has an issue with getting into relationships with loose women. Two of them had a memorable catfight over him. His name escapes me at the moment.”
Drew Corey. :-)
@Sequitur:
…..and the frog doing unspeakable things to that coffee cup is Javafrog from the Funday Pawpet Show.
@Needless Exposition: #112
I totally agree. But be prepared for a “plot twist” such as Wilbur saving a stranger – a somewhat attractive but lonely middle-aged lady who loves tropical fish, hamburgers, karaoke and pina coladas – from certain peril and finding the love of his life.
When Daddy Keane was more like Thirsty Thurston.
@Daisy: At some point, Moy figured the strip gets more attention when it’s Wilbur-centric memes and the strip is turning into more than 50% pathetic Wilbur storylines.
TG: Knuckle bumping Tina’s groove is relevant to my interests, and I would like to subscribe to a newsletter if one is available.
@Garrison Skunk: They never translate the sound effects. If it’s not in a word balloon or a sign, they ain’t touching it.
In yesterday’s strip, the sound effect was the basis of a pun, so even if they’d translated it, it would’ve still been a problem.
It could be worse Tina. They could be bumping moose knuckles
One day at the Bum Boat.
@142 Keep scrolling:
Or belly bumping.
Luann – “Study circus arts? No, I meant you should teach it. They do have a clown school, y’know.”
@Wave Man: #139
You’re absolutely right, of course. But at some point, won’t there be diminishing returns as the audience becomes satiated with Wilbur and JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE?!! (please excuse me…I need to sit down…)
GT: Pro tip, kid: Suffer your career-ending injury during your first few months in the big leagues, so you’ll still have plenty of time to pursue that college degree. Wait until you’re thirty, and you’ll wind up working in a gas station.
Where Bets got the idea of a clean slate full of potential.
@Sequitur: Thank you. That felt like two weeks at the Bum Boat.
It seems Wilbur could use Hammy Squirrel.
@149 Poteet:
Yes, it does, doesn’t it.
@Sequitur:
Belly bumping…what a peculiar pic that is. I’m curious about the original intent.
love is… sailing off nekked into the sunset.
@152 Keep scrolling:
I have no idea. The explanation for the picture was a dead link.
@Baja Gaijin: All that’s missing in the “life is brutal” version is a TV with an arrow pointing to it that says “Game of Thrones.”
@155 Lord Flatulence: Had I the original artwork for that, I would have used it. Instead I just changed Dawn’s picture to a mayonnaise jar.
@156 Baja Gaijin:
Here’s the original. There’s no arrowed sign pointing to the TV. Dawn mentions what she’s watching.
The PR team that once got favorable shout-outs and guest appearances into The Simpsons, Star Trek, Rick and Morty, and Iron Man 2 has, it’s fair to say, hit some harder times.
Blondie-“My husband’s company doesn’t even have that many people.”
I made the mistake of looking ahead at Mary Worth, and I think next week’s strips will make some people angry.
@Sequitur: I got the “image not found” image.
@157 Sequitur: Hm. I think I could have placed Wilbur’s head on Dawn’s body…I’m not Dr. Frankenstein. Stop looking at me like that! I’m NOT A MONSTER!
@160 taig: Do they look like they’d be improved with an irreverent mashup?
@Baja Gaijin: Most likely.
@163 taig: Good!
@Baja Gaijin:
You need one where Wilbur’s feet are dangling from the ceiling.
@ 161 taig:
Yeah, I’m getting that too, now. It worked when I first posted it. I quess someone didn’t like their image linked.
@162 Baja Gaijin:
it’s hard to believe that story was from twelve years ago.
TG: Rina Piccolo is Canadian, so this could be a foreign nation kinda colloquialism from 15 years ago. Kinda like when the word “foob” swept the nation’s youth by storm.
Piccolo was one of the original Six Chix, a one-panel strip every Wednesday, and I always thought she was far and away the best of the bunch. Now she contributes to Rhymes With Orange, Tina’s Groove is what she did between these two gigs.
The link at @138 Sequitur: has stopped working.
Here is the cartoon again from a different source.
Walt saved the name of Gasoline Alley, but he’s too late to save the name of Twitter.
@Daisy: But at some point, won’t there be diminishing returns as the audience becomes satiated with Wilbur and JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE?!! (please excuse me…I need to sit down…
_
At that point, I want you to go to your window, lean out and yell, “IM MAD AS HELL, AND IM NOT GOING TO TAKE WILBUR’S CARP ANYMORE!”
Pluggers: All of the comments on GoComics are people wistfully talking about the good ol’ days back before Captain Crunch existed. Before the 1960’s. So in other words, they’re all Plugger, no snark…
Best to stay here where it’s safe.
Baja, BAJA GAIJIN!
It looks like you’ll be able to do TV Wilbur tomorrow.
@Sequitur:
What does it say about me that I first read Wilburp’s line as “Dawn,wanna make out? Maybe we can go to the beach.”
Am I a pervert or do I just think a father/daughter forbidden romance is just what Mary’s Worst needs to stay/become interesting?
@Sequitur:
Baja, BAJA GAIJIN!
____________________
…king of the wild frontier.
@174 Garrison Skunk:
Mary would just tell Dawn about how wonderful it would to date “Endearing Quirks” Wilbur.
Dawn would throw up.
@175 Garrison Skunk:
Clever. How did you know Baja wears a coonskin cap.
@Sequitur: I am so hopeful for Dawn to come back to Charterstone and see the fire trucks outside because Wilbur died and he was so heavy that nobody could move him. “My 600 LB (272.15 KG) Wilbur,” anyone?
@Duke of Earl Grey:
Walt saved the name of Gasoline Alley, but he’s too late to save the name of Twitter.
_____________
Wasn’t “X” the name of the website Homer Simpson started in the episode where they parodied “The Prisioner”?
@Sequitur: Now I know why Santa Royale doesn’t have children under 18.
@Garrison Skunk: Mr. X.
@Sequitur:
Clever. How did you know Baja wears a coonskin cap.
_________________
Oh, is THAT what that is?
@Sequitur:
Let us see both hands.
MW-One of Mary’s muffins full of drugs will save this situation.
@taig (MW): If Wilbur hasn’t taken a dive off of Point Aldo, I will indeed be angry.
MW-If this is Wilbur’s natural state no wonder Dawn falls apart so easily when she gets dumped.
@Liam: Like everyone else in Mary Worth, Dawn would benefit greatly from psychological therapy and support. And probably getting the hell away from the cesspool that is Charterstone.
@The Rambling Otter:
Pluggers: All of the comments on GoComics are people wistfully talking about the good ol’ days back before Captain Crunch existed.
________________
Those Quisp vs. Quake debates can get mean.
@183 Liam:
Uh, oh. You’re right. He’s playing tiddlywinks in his pocket.
@Sequitur: It’s interesting how Dawn doesn’t preface her message with a “Hey, Dad” or even saying that she hopes he’s doing well. She could very well be talking to anyone with how impersonal her text is.
@190 Needless Exposition:
She also put her text message in quotes like she’s telling what someone else said.
@Sequitur: You know, I wonder where she gets the “talking about myself without any consideration for others” from…
@Sequitur: Wow. That is a very different look.
@193 taig:
Also, there’s no P.J. and Jeffy’s a toddler.
I feel like the only reason comics like Gasoline Alley will make the occasional reference to current events or tech is to remind us it hasn’t hit reruns. Because honestly, the average Blondie or Hi and Lois doesn’t look all that different from the reruns of Crock
>opens post after it’s been up over 12 hours and has accumulated 195 comments
>ctrl-f’s “terrorist fist jab”
>zero results
I am rarely disappointed by the commentariat here, but today is a sad exception
@196 OldTommyB:
Ya know what else? No one has said “fuck” today but Ukulele Ike has only made one comment.
@Sequitur: Really? What the fuck?!?
@198 taig:
Fuck, yeah!
@Sequitur: #194: PJ wasn’t born until well into the strip’s second year.
@200 Guillermo el chiclero:
So, even with three kids they remained sexually active. You know, fucking.
@173 Sequitur: Ooooh! The possibilities.
@177 Sequitur: He thinks it’s a coonskin cap. He may not be as clever as he thinks.
GA: Wait… I thought the comic “Gasoline Alley” was named as such, because a bunch of guys would hang out and talk about in the alley in their neighbourhood like a primordial King of the Hill.
I once read a book on the history of comic strips, and it gave a lot of focus to Gasoline Alley, although the memories are fuzzy.
Late Thread Cuisine: Look at that frilly lettuce!
@Baja Gaijin: Dang Millennials and their avocado-beet salads!
@204 Baja Gaijin:
That avocado and beet are fucking!
They’ll be making guacamole all night long!
@Baja Gaijin: It looks someone took LSD and hallucinated a bizarre parade, with that as the prize winning float.
@205 taig: All the recipe needs is toast.
@206 Sequitur: Wilbur Weston is jealous.
@207 I speak Jive: Interesting take on the visuals.
@Sequitur:
I’m hoping that second panel shows up on Josh’s Facebook page tomorrow.
@Sequitur: Well, I only had one thing to say.
FG: Tread carefully, Flash n’ Bok! Count Korro is about to throw a stink bomb at you, just like his mentor, Flaming Carrot!
Phantom: The Artifact Stealers are thoughtfully waking up one by one, to give Kit a breather in between punching everyone. Meanwhile, Junior sits under a tree, ruminating over Dad’s fascinating story about chains rubbing against wells.
Blondie: ….and suddenly we’re back to hiring a pastry chef again. You can’t accuse Young, Jr., of dropping the ball a la Batuik and Evans, eh? What we did decide on for her name? Millie-Feuille Napoleon? Yeah, let’s go with that.
BF: As the only Canadian who gets sex has been getting constant sex in Paris with the tall Frenchman over the past month, we are stuck with the physically broken-down women-Friends of Toronto. Will Bad-Writer-Friend proceed with her plan to pen a stultifying memoir? Will Blonde Friend experience a stabbing pain in her bunions? Stay tuned, Breakfast Clubbers!
@Sequitur: #201: More sexually active than the strip. The real Keanes had five kids. How would you like to be that fifth Keane kid, who never got his own melonhead?
@Liam:
Whose a Plugger?
@214 Guillermo el chiclero:
I’d be relieved.
@TheDiva: Bwahaha!
@Guillermo el chiclero: If the fifth Keane kid had been a girl, she could perhaps have claimed April Patterson, who, unlike the other Patterson kids, was imaginary. Is imaginary. Whatever.
@Sequitur: Are you happier now that my wit has dripped all over this blog like the sparkling morning dew…?
@219 Ukulele Ike:
You still haven’t said, “fuck”.
RMMD-Sara’s setting herself for such a beating: members of this family do NOT take personal responsibility for bad things that happen, young lady!
@Professor Well Actually: You’re assuming Bernice isn’t going to come with?
@Sequitur: Is my foul mouth my only claim to fame around here? No wonder Josh and Uncle Lumpy never pick me for the float.
Rose is Rose: I really hate that fucking baby.
@Daisy: Honestly, it would more likely be a pillar of his own dung, like Pastis’ Wise Ass On The Hill.
@223 Ukulele Ike: You’re also knows as the foodie who keeps pushing polenta.
@Baja Gaijin: *fucking polenta
@223 Ukulele Ike:
Good fuckin’ show!
@Sequitur: No one has said “fuck” today
I say Fawk every time I post. That must count for something.
@Baja Gaijin: Um, you did it again. 1984, and we don’t know what horrible thing was done to that beet. Was it just boiled and stuck in there, or was a Moulinex La Machine and some Dannon yogurt involved. Enquiring minds want to know!
@228 Maude R. Fawker:
Yes, yes it does. If I do that search again I’ll be sure to include “Fawk”.
@229 richardf8: Enquiring minds may regret wanting to know:
@Sequitur: Yes, yes it does. If I do that search again I’ll be sure to include “Fawk”.
You fawking can and should. Thank you eversofawking much.
@231 Baja Gaijin:
I knew a girl named Julienne Beets. She was a cut above the rest.
Does this mean there’s hope for a Tina’s Groove/Crock crossover?
Let’s cross our fingers!!
@234 JustSomeGuy:
Tina’s Crock?
@Anonymous: On Luann, and how only gluttons learn to cook : yeah, it’s not like Luann knows people who run a restaurant who’d probably like having a second chef who can cook different meals!
You must’ve forgotten her one attempt to cook dinner for her family, where she blew like $70.00 on ingredients for “EZ-Stew” and still managed to dump an entire container of cayenne pepper into it, and so she had to spend additional money on ordering pizza. And then she never tried again, because Luann always gives up at the first hurdle.
@Sequitur: Crock’s Groove