Absolutely not looking up what “The Dowe” is. You can’t make me
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Gil Thorp, 6/26/24
It took me a long time staring at the the first panel to put together what’s going on here: Gil’s new squeeze Beth was a server at some instance of “the awards” when Mimi and her new girlfriend were in attendance (not sure when this was? not last year’s Jack Berrill Coach of the Year, I don’t think); having already decided to make Gil her own, she memorized the wine preferences along with all other relevant data points about every woman there within two degrees of sexual separation from him. But now, she has moved from mere waitress to girlfriend, achieving victory, and can get wet and eat after midnight, if you know what I mean! Triumph is Beth’s! Triumph! (“The world of heterosexuals is a sick and boring life,” Mimi’s girlfriend says sadly as the two take their leave from this overt and frankly upsetting display of man/woman love.)
Beetle Bailey, 6/26/24
Beetle is, of course, a dedicated somnophile, ready to sleep in any situation, social niceties be damned. It’s bad enough that he flaunts his ways in the newspaper where children can see, but today we’ve learned that Miss Buxley is ready to follow his example and join him in his sick lifestyle.
Alice, 6/26/24
It’s been 30+ years so I can admit that it always bothered me a little that in some X-Files episodes the mysterious entities they encountered would be sci-fi things like space aliens and in other episodes they were horror things like vampires. Now, of course, I was willing to overlook it there because Mulder and Scully were beautiful and real and my friends, but Alice has not built up that level of goodwill with me and I will not accept the proposition that these weird little green guys are aliens but also ghosts. And literary ghosts at that, from “A Christmas Carol!” (That’s an 1843 novella by Charles Dickens, if you haven’t heard of it.)
229 replies to “Absolutely not looking up what “The Dowe” is. You can’t make me”
Mary Worth Mashups: Do any of these Missing Final Panels do anything for you?
MW:
“Have you ever seen the movie ‘Thelma and Louise,’ Wilbur? — watch what happens when I tromp on the accelerator!”
RMMD:
“What exactly is that verbal sound effect I’m seeing in the second panel, Flat Top?”
“I’m ‘talking SMACK’ !”
Gil Thorpe: Wait, so all three of those people in panel one are supposed to be women? Wow, that’s bad art.
MW:
“To speak colloquially, Wilbur, ‘You matter’…actually, come to think of it, ‘You antimatter,’ given your self-destructive and annihilating behavior!”
Alice: Was that the Christmas when Alice dropped acid?
BB: Ms. Buxley and I seem to share a taste in robes.
MW: Mary’s hoping that if she repeats her usual mantra of lies, Wilbur won’t ask for McDonalds and throw a tantrum because they’re not serving Happy Meals.
RMMD: If Ever there were a tormented lad crying out for The Mirakle Method, we’re lookin at him.
DtM: Mrs W: “What? He’s HAPPY? Oh, nonono, this won’t do!”
MW: Here we go again. It makes me wonder if Sisyphus managed to convince himself that he was actually helping the boulder.
SF: Aw, it’s touching that Hil hallucinates herself sane in the future.
I’m intrigued that the ghost alien has tentacle eyes that have lashes and a flirtatious vibe in direct contrast to the bland face eyes. Wait, no, not “intrigued.” What’s the word… ah, yes: mortified.
If I learned that a general’s secretary had a bed in her private office, where she lounges in her pink bathrobe, then… well, my first thought wouldn’t be “She just likes a nice innocent sleep”. The fact Beetle set up this arrangement just adds extra layers of sordidity.
MW:
The hand on Mary’s car’s steering wheel is approximately 1/12th the volume of Mary’s head. So…whose hand is it?
GT:
” ‘Cab’ and ‘Merlot’ — what kind of stupid names are those, anyway?”
“This is really getting off to a great start,” muses Gil sarcastically.
Alice: I believe we’re meant to think they’re an alien who is pretending to be the Ghost of Christmas Past and is unaware of the flaw in their subterfuge (that it’s not Christmas). I know this doesn’t really constitute a joke, but I defy you find any interpretation of this comic that fulfils that criterion.
DT: Remember how the MCU got a lead on Cherry Bimm specifically? The Dick Tracy creative team doesn’t! So now the detectives spying on Sarah Phym having lunch for no apparent reason, though this may yet provide the break in the case they’ve been looking for. Dessert cake for lunch with that figure? Lee thinks not!
MW: “You matter. You are valued. You and your call are very important to us. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.”
Blondie: At long last, it’s the arrival of the highly-touted new Blondie character [name to be determined by online poll], whom I will temporarily be referring to as Kevin for short. After Kevin inquires about the pastry chef position that she knows is new for some reason, Blondie naturally asks for Kevin’s business card, because that’s something that people applying for new jobs always have. As it turns out, Kevin has in fact printed her name and phone number on an unwrapped cookie that she fishes out of the gum wrappers and loose change in her purse; fortunately Blondie did not ask for a resume or completed job application, as those would have been much more challenging to fit on the surface of most handbag-portable baked treats. Kevin then categorizes her manic and unsanitary behavior as “quirky” before falsely proclaiming herself to be the inventor of writing words on food, and Blondie eats Kevin’s business card without reading it. Right then. Welcome to the Blondieverse, Kevin. I’m already tired of you.
JP: I figure most of us have been assuming that Lucas’s family is also Declan’s family, because why else would these two storylines be running simultaneously? If so, it would seem Manley was not apprised of this, as Lucas and Glen look nothing like Declan, nor does Glen look remotely old enough to have finished a dime in state prison after reaching the position of a corporate executive who would have the capacity to embezzle. This would also mean that Decent Guy Declan vindictively turned his back on his youngest brother who would have been around ten years old when this incident occurred. It remains to be seen whether Lucas targeted Sophie as part of a convoluted and self-destructive family scheme to get revenge on Declan, or if this is all just a really stupid and thoroughly unbelievable coincidence. Or maybe none of this is connected and one or both of these plots has been a complete waste of our time.
RMMD: I’ll be damned. I was sure that Terry Beatty would do what he always does and have his antagonist be a hopelessly incompetent fool who immediately fails at any attempted violence, but he actually had the audacity to have Haw Haw Boy follow through on beating Parker up. Not the crowd-pleasing turn of events most people were probably hoping for, and I still have dozens of issues with how this story has been handled up to this point, but credit to Beatty nonetheless for having the nerve to briefly achieve the bare minimum of storytelling verisimilitude.
SF: So… Hilary’s just wandered off from her parents in the middle of New York City talking to her imaginary friend? If Ces wasn’t such a gawdawful storyteller, we would finally see Hilary find out what human suffering really is as a result of doing that. (Hint: it ain’t experiencing ennui while safely ensconced in a suburban home with two parental caregivers.)
RMMD: Good grief, he’s seriously saying ‘take that’ like he’s Superman. What no, ‘…you miscreant!’ after? And true to the schlubiness of every protagonist, Parker makes taking a punch look like he just found out he missed the last dessert in the lunch line. “Unh…” indeed.
Crankshaft: *cough* Bullshit! *cough*
JP: Surprise! There was no party! Hope you like your human traficking experience, ladies! Hope April comes to rescue you (or not)!
@Bob Tice: That would be Aldo Kelrast’s shriveled hand reaching out from beyond the grave to steer Mary’s car towards the Kurve.
GT – The mark of a good bartender is not only remembering people’s drink orders, but remembering whatever stupid pop culture references they toss out as well. Beth is a good bartender.
MW: At a loss for anything actually sincere to say to Wilbur, Mary reads aloud from yard signs as they pass through an upscale residential neighborhood.
@Charterstoned: I’m of the theory that Aldo possessed Wilbur at some point because he led the intervention that told him to stay away from Mary which preceded and possibly led to his death.
I identified with Pluggers today (my starter word is URINE). I also thought the “Dadgummit” was a nice touch.
To counteract that and bring the universe back into some balance, I was excessively turned off by Crankshaft and the “That’s so sweet” because Peter North or Mason Brick or whatever is going for an expensive ring rather than covering basic needs. Stupid – although, unfortunately, probably somewhat realistic.
Nice “Female Trouble” shout-out. I can hear Edith Massey now.
B. Bailey: In six months, now morbidly obese Miss Buxley is still lying there when Sarge comes in. “Well, what do we have here?” he says with a leering grin.
Mary Worth is reminding me of 9 Snatchweed Lane in that, day after day, instead of saying “Get help, Brooke,” we’re saying, “It’s a fucking fish.”
@Charterstoned:
Hard to blame that hand, isn’t it?
The Dow is an LPGA Pairs tournament this week in Midland, Michigan. Gil Thorp is uncomfortably close to reality.
MW: Mary asks; “Is that the stick shift Wilbur or are you just glad to be here?”
MW:
“And after we take care of this burial-at-sea business, Wilbur, I’m driving you to Sy Sperling’s ‘Hair Club for Men’ outlet. The readership and I have absolutely had it up to here with those god-awful, excruciatingly unsightly hair strands of yours!”
Alice : Maybe this is Ghostbusters/Danny Phantom design philosophy, where ghosts are not the spirits of the deceased, but weird monsters that LOOK alien?
*************
Beetle Bailey : the General actually knew about this set-up, and was the one who approved it in the first place. He’s just surprised/confused, and then disappointed/annoyed because when Beetle demanded this, Halftrack said yes because he assumed Ms Buxley slept in the nude.
*************
Gil Thorp : Yeah, when I think of a comic strip character who’s well known for being an “impish troublemaker”, I think Gil Thorp
*************
Sally Forth : Wait… Is this setting up the reveal that “Hillary’s flash-forward future is a stealth Appartment 3-G reboot” is CANON?
GT — I’m sure that Mimi’s care and feeding instructions for Gil could be interpreted as sexual banter, but I prefer to believe that “Don’t get him wet” is a warning to keep him off PCP. . .
Alice! — It’s not Christmas, it’s Chthulu’s Day! I think I know a guy who was in that TV special. . .
FC – “Seriously, anything is better than those Thomas Kincaid pieces you’ve got up there now.”
@jroggs:
I misread your comment, and assumed that Blondie (against all odds…) finally became woke by introducing a woman named Kevin.
@But What Do I Know?: (Tentacles chortle darkly)
@Bob Tice:
MW: OR, just buy him a hat. With a snappy phrase like “I’m With Stupid” or “I Breakdown For Fish”.
Gil Thorp: no tramp stamp 0/10 waitress would not order cocktail from again
@Anonymous:
Except wasn’t that Ghostbusters lore retconned?
As the “ghosts aren’t actually dead people” was written in, in the later seasons of the animated series because the higher-ups didn’t want the show to be too scary for kids.
(They also removed Janine’s pointy glasses, because they deemed pointy things were also too scary for kids… not even kidding here)
Keep in mind this is the show where the Ghostbusters previously battled Cthulhu.
Please don’t tell me that this “ghosts aren’t actually ghosts” crap was actually written into the later movies…
Alice: The comic strip for drugs, and the people who love them.
GT I’m sorry, I’m still reeling st a woman in this strip taling about ‘getting wet’. My eyes usually start to glaze over when I read this one so I’m really starting to wonder how many other filthy asides I’ve missed.
BB Speaking of filthy, look how crestfallen the General is when he realizes that bed is there for alith and not ‘other reasons’ .
Alice Oh, so the joke is that it isn’t Christmas, that isn’t a ghost, and that Alice is probably in grave danger? Yeah, I can see the humor in that.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: I take offense to that on behalf of drugs.
Beetle Bailey-With what she is paid Ms. Buxley has to supplement her income with an OnlyFans account.
MW-Friends who did nothing for weeks and had to be coerced into doing something.
FC-Hang the poster on the ceiling above your dad’s side of the bed. Make him feel wistful about his childhood.
@pugfuggly: Well, I’m not taking responsibility for Little Miss “Ghost of Christmas Past” there.
Gil Thorp: “Cab” and “Merlot”; “Top” and “Bottom”; “Pitcher” and “Catcher”–I’m sorry, gay people, but y’all are weird.
DtM: Some people travel with their retirement money. Wilson has spent his money on constructing an anechoic chamber in his split-level home. “Nowhere to go and no one to see. I think I’ll practice my yodeling.”
@pugfuggly:
I’m really starting to wonder how many other filthy asides I’ve missed.
I think this is fairly uncharted territory, Thorpwise. I was also surprised with this. And I have a filthy mind that can make innuendo out of nothing.
GT – If a Cab and Merlot get together – do they do it sideways?
@Charterstoned: “Wilbur, In This House — errrr Car — We…Believe in science! Yes, Wilbur, the science of…friendship?”
I’d like to think that “Don’t get him wet” is a well-understood unspoken rule about Gil. I certainly don’t want to hear anyone utter it again.
S4th: I had questions about how Hillary would be able to explore NYC conversing with her future self and still be with her parents on their sight-seeing walk. Then I realized both Sally and Ted would be deep into their own fantasy daydreams, and no one would be noticing anyone else.
I would analyze today’s Alice, as her past being associated with Aliens, suggest that she’s an alien herself, or just referring to back when she was abducted. But I’m not wasting brain power on this.
Blondie-“Hey! That’s my only business card! Do you have any idea how long it took to make?”
Alice-“Alice, whatsa matta? You no longer speak with your Martian accent.”
Dear Penthouse Letters,
You’ll never believe what happened to me.
My Girlfiend and I were on the porch drinking Lynchburg Lemonades, when my ex and her lesbian lover stopped by to pick up her alimony check.
Well, the wine and lemonade were flowing and all sorts of innuendos were flying, when all of a sudden they left for a golf tournament.
Did I mention I’m Gil Thorpe and that’s about as exciting my life gets.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
I had the same thought although my first thought was that “Do you have a resume?” would be a more likely question to someone applying for a job. I wonder what kind of pastry would be required for a resume.
I’m much happier with the idea that Gil Thorp breeds by getting wet instead of having the image of him having sex getting stuck in my mind.
Gil Thorp – I wonder if Mimi was hoping presumably Gen Z Beth wouldn’t get a 1980s movie reference? Sorry, Gen Xers, but you’re weird nostalgia about pop-culture has dominated the Internet so long that people can’t help but be as aware of this as Millennials were of Boomer touchstones like Woodstock.
Beetle Bailey – General Halftrack was sent to sexual harassment training 27 years ago, sparing him the backlash of #MeToo. In that time he’s learned a lot and gotten better as a person. A younger, more lecherous version of himself would have loved the idea of his secretary in bed at work, Now he’s just annoyed he’s getting his version of Beetle to deal with everyday.
Alice – These “aliens” are just the cartoonist’s attempts to create Minions type trickster characters that are familiar enough and silly looking enough to make up for the lack of any jokes.
BB: Halftrack’s opposition to work from home is radical! He won’t even authorise drone strikes operated from the USA! He has the old-fashioned belief that it’s better to look in the eyes the men you are killing
I find it so impossible to remember or care about the characters in Gil Thorpe that I honestly thought their names were Cab and Merlot.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: But not in a case where a guy leaves his successful and lucrative screenwriting career to work at a two-bit comic start-up (and then invest in a already-failed restaurant) for some reason.
@Philip: Like come on, Mimi. Wilbur Weston tried the same thing, and you don’t even want to emulate Wilbur strategies for showing up ex’s.
GT – Talk to the hand…right, Gil….
BB – This makes sense…and is funny…and really lambasts a common quirk of human nature. Just keep saying that, and it will become so….
Alice – This is the crap we forged in life….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Look, I’m willing to concede that gas-station meth lite might be responsible for this strip, but any real hallucinogen should inspire more than that.
@Old School Allie Cat: This call everything into question, going right back to Clambake...
Alice: My favorite “Christmas Carol” was the one starring Cubist Albert Finney.
BB: Once Gen. Halftrack figures out how to sexually harass you over Zoom, he’ll let you work from home. Give him time!
CRANKSHAFT: Mopey Pete: “Ok, fine. I actually blew all the money on a still-in-it’s-package Starbuck Jones figurine and five magic beans.”
@Old School Allie Cat: “We’re not going to drink any f****ing merlot!”
“Who are you?”
“I’m the ghost from the part of your brain you burned out in the 60s. Do you even remember having a restaurant, Alice?”
Frazz: Ha ha! Frazz’s smugness had the opposite of the desired effect! Eat it, Frazz! Then get covered in ticks. I hope you get Lyme Disease.
Luann: I’m glad Toni isn’t realistically going to have her children in this strip if this is the way she views a “properly” raised child. Meanwhile, in “reality,” the kitchen has three inches of standing water, and Shannon has set one of the other rooms on fire.
CS: Mopey must have a second job. First of all, look at those bags under his eyes. Secondly, there’s absolutely no way Montoni’s is paying for any of that.
9CL: The cat’s got the right idea. No one wants to see Amos grossly expound on Edda’s sexuality.
MW: “You matter…you are valued…after a period of several weeks!”
FC: The appropriate thing to do with that Transformers: Dark of the Moon movie poster is to burn it.
Zits: I find it implausible that Jeremy is wearing a shirt from middle school. Surely, he’s had a growth spurt or two between then and now.
“A Christmas Carol”?
Surely you don’t mean this one.
@Baja Gaijin: Well…the only one that’s not disgusting is option #3.
Gil Thorp-“Don’t get him wet.” Interestingly Gil won’t get her wet at all.
Sally Forth-Weirdest reboot of ‘Apartment 3G’.
@taig:
On Montoni’s Money : I dunno, when Funky became the manager, eventually whenever we cut back to his home life, he lived in a MANSION filled with expensive gadgets
(with a “Look at this evil, greedy jerk flaunting his ostentatious wealth all the time!” undertone). Maybe Montoni’s *IS* “become the richest man in town” money! (though it might be tied to a “and you and your spouse become lumpy potato people” curse…)The Modern World presents you with some unique challenges. Let’s say your wife dumped you for her lesbian lover. You don’t want to stir animosity, because you have kids together, and you don’t want to be seen as homophobic. But should you give up any comeuppance? Of course not! For example, you can parade your new partner in front of your ex-wife! “See, you’re not the only one who can get a new woman! And let’s be honest, mine is more beautiful than yours!”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
I think some type of loaf of bread for a resume.
@Baja Gaijin: #2 is a conceptual abomination, #3 is an impossible dream, and #1 is bizarrely intriguing because presumably the fish-funeral guests have pretty much what they need to accomplish an orgy right there already, to whit, themselves. So what does this speed-dial service have to offer? Perhaps the guests will be paying for some weird combination of lubes, generic cheap Viagra, and inexpensive sex toys, plus, um, casual refreshments? Okay, just got a mental glimpse of nekkid Ian and I am so done, aaaggh.
MW-Sadly not seen is the hearse Mary hired to take Stella to the pier.
Bartender remembering you favourite drink at the bar means “I’m your friend, please get comfortable and open up!”. Bartender remembering you favourite drink away from the bar means “Not only I know you are an alcoholic, but I remember what kind of alcoholic!”
GT- “I greet everyone this way. Oh, look! Here come Char and Sauvi! And I saw Zin just yesterday.”
@Ettorre: So why are we getting a much better view of Gil than the beautiful new woman? Life is unfair. Also, something about Gil has always given me a strong feeling that he belongs clothed in a high school stadium, not nude in the sack, and his paramour calling him a little gremlin Does Not Help.
GIL THORP: Panel #4: Beth and Gil go back inside so she can sip on a stiff martini.
GIL THORP (2): Ok Beth? Given Mimi’s current relationship configuration, I think we can safely say that she’s definitely over him. No need to try so hard and pee all over Gil to mark your territory (unless that tommororw’s fetish?) Not that it’s just her, since, remember, that Gil insisted they introduce each other right as they were dropping off the kids for no good reason except as a power move to firmly rub it in his ex’s face that yes, they are totally going to be fucking their brains out for the weekend while Mimi’s stuck listening to D&D and teen angst blather. (Beth: “And speaking of ‘firmly rubbing it in people’s faces’….” Me: CUT THAT OUT, I SAID!”)
GIL THORP (3): By the way, remember back in Luann, about ten years ago (Josh certainly remembers) when Toni saw Brad at the supermarket and Brad stated he was just thinking about her while holding two large, round melons to his chest? I just thought you guys might need a pallet cleanser of something with more subtle dialogue.
@Ettorre: Er…I think today’s strip indicates that even outside of the bar Beth is definitely saying the former as well.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I would demand traditional puff pastry. A baking friend told me that making it requires time and skill, but mostly, I just like traditional puff pastry. If only I liked kale as much.
@Poteet: Probably Gil also teaches sex ed. Given his daughter did not use contraception, he must not be very good at it
GT: Oh, I thought she was house sitting for two cats (“Cab” and “Merlot”) or something given the instructions…
BEETLE BAILEY: Gen. Halftrack is just upset and disappointed that he isn’t in the Swedish version of his strip right now.
@Baja Gaijin: 1 is likeliest. In fact 1 is probably what happened.
Alice demonstrates the faux pas of being abstract in art AND writing. You can successfully do one or the other, but not both. I would scratch these wretched postings as a kind service to your gentle readers.
@Downpuppy: That makes more sense than my guess, which is that Mimi and Mimi’s Lesbian Midlife Crisis Girlfriend (Erika? I think her name is Erika) were headed to the Department of Water and Energy to demand the Milford Country Club be exempt from sprinkler restrictions.
Blondie: “I’m quirky and original! And my handbag is swarming with ants.”
Is there some kind of unwritten contest to use words in the blog and comments that require a dictionary to follow along? Or am I just that stupid? I’m going with stupid.
@Dumb AND dumber all in one: It could be worse: commenting on Pigborn or 9CL.
GA: It’s all set up – Mee-Meow is the new star of the strip, and Walt goes over the Rainbow Bridge.
@Anonymous: This is a curse I can appreciate. Maybe I don’t give Batiuk enough credit.
Alice: Dickens describes the Ghost of Christmas Past as having a very amorphous form: being now a thing with one arm, now with one leg, now with twenty legs, now a pair of legs without a head, now a head without a body: of which dissolving parts, no outline would be visible in the dense gloom wherein they melted away. So a weird multi-eyed Picasso thing is surprisingly accurate to the text. The green skin is new, though.
GT: Reading this hit me with the uncomfortably Pluggerish realization that the movie Gremlins is celebrating its fortieth anniversary this year. Beth’s “little gremlin” comment indicates that she understood the reference, but honestly I find panel two much more interesting if we pretend she doesn’t have a clue what Mimi is talking about and is very weirded out by her instructions.
Also, I’m less impressed by Beth remembering wine preferences from an event she worked months ago, and more by the fact that the annual Give the Coach of the Year Award to Gil Thorp Again ceremony sprung for a more extensive wine menu than “red” and “white.”
REX MORGAN M.D: Meanwhile Rene is somewhere weeping tears of despair that this kid in his guest appearance has already shown him up on the villainy scale.
Huh… Alice… yeah… so, the creator of this is from a Guatemalan insane asylum? Good to know.
Alice: Each entry in this comic is more inscrutable than the last. Six Chix needs to get on this level, it’s quickly losing it’s title as “most inexplicable newspaper comic”.
“The Dowe.” Possible reference to Mount Dowe in Australia, or the Dowe area of Montgomery, Alabama. Or a mistransliteration of dhow, a small sailing vessel common to the Red Sea, which is about to carry Emily off to the Pasha’s seraglio in Constantinople.
Alice: Is the “It Ain’t Christmas” line supposed to refer to Anti-Christmas, the day that is as far as possible from Christmas? I thought that was June 25th, but maybe some calendrical asymmetry makes it June 26th, Anyway, you can now say that Christmas is coming, where last week it was still going away. Soon the local TV announcers will be saying that it’s rapidly approaching, although it isn’t. It’s not approaching any faster than the Fourth of July or Thanksgiving, anyway. Although I did once hear a local weatherman say the year was drawing slowly to a close. Maybe New Year’s is slower than Christmas.
I wonder if Emily is well enDowed…
@Ukranazi Stepan: That was an unexpected surprise to read.
@Little Guy: Just to annotate “unexpected wonderful and entertaining surprise”.
C’shaft: Please, Pete, you’re Gen Z. Home ownership is as much of a pipe dream for you as a livable climate and escaping the creeping specter of authoritarianism.
Dustin: I call shenanigans. Dustdad may have forgotten his son dunning him for a twenty, but he definitely remembers that he hates Dustin and would never, ever give him a single thing other than contempt and criticism.
Luann: Toni doesn’t want a child–a messy, unpredictable, ever-changing and growing human being with thoughts and an identity of their own–she wants a live-in servant that she doesn’t have to pay. This, apparently, makes her a better parent than her brother.
MW: “Valued” in the sense that his worth has been calculated, and it came out somewhere between “a half-eaten Big Mac left out on the counter all night” and “a puddle in the alley that you hope is just water but let’s be honest, it probably isn’t.”
RMMD: Maybe the bully is just mad because Parker’s family can afford a good vision plan and get them glasses, while he has to squint through life.
Amos Halftrack has never heard of Jeffrey Toobin?
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: He doesn’t pay attention to civilian stuff.
New headcanon: The titular heroine of the comic strip Alice is the same person as titular heroine of Dodgson’s Alice in Wonderland. The comic is presented to the modern audience as a warning about the dangers of undiagnosed and untreated hallucinatory mental illness.
Alice-Must have been the Christmas she dropped acid.
Gil Thorp-I don’t think of Gil as a gremlin. He seems more like a Pinto.
I spent about 3 minutes staring at those Gil Thorpe panels trying to make any sense out of what the fuck they were saying. This must be what it feels like to only learn a language in a classroom & then talk to someone with an extremely thick regional accent. I recognize most of those words but the sentences make no sense.
FC – A Transformers poster. What was it originally? Star Wars? Jaws?
Mary Worth – The background music for this scene is The Ride of the Valkyries, retitled The Ride of the Platitudes.
It’s a fucking fish. Get over it.
Frazz – Being outside is better. If you sit around inside all the time you avoid ticks, but on the downside you’ll end up looking like Mrs. Olsen. Let’s cut her up behind her back.
Looks Good On Paper – Baja may want to avoid this one.
Rex Morgan – Oooh! A medical issue! The school will take Parker to Rex’s clinic for treatment of his fight injuries. Rex is getting his smelling salts and leeches ready as we speak.
RexMD: Okay…this just isn’t fun to read any more.
Bizzaro: I am almost certain this isn’t how real vodoun “works”…isn’t the initiate required to sacrifice a chicken or something?
Gil: “Dowe, a term used in The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind: Creating Currents of Electricity and Hope refers to a crop of green maize which the villagers eat, along with pumpkins, as the famine comes to a close. Dowe is the first edible crop of the harvest season in Malawi.” This story is more wide-ranging than I first thought!!
@Little Guy:
Yes, I loved it.
LUANN: Ok now I think this is less “Toni’s daydream” and more “a commercial break sponsored by a maid agency.”
@TheDiva, Luann: That describes most of the kid-parent strips, but she doesn’t want to be the sometimes-villain, and the child to be sarcastic/opinionated.
I have a feeling the Evansii wanted a vacation, but couldn’t trust/find a guest artist/writer to continue in the Evansiiverse motif (unlike Dick Tracy), so they made it a fantasy sequence.
“Greg, Karen, I don’t understand why the blonde girl is the evil one. That’s a pretty good start-up business.”
@Baja Gaijin: #1
No.1 and No. 3…I gagged at #2. (#2 actually made me want to climb into the car in #3…)
Gil Thorp: Emily is off to visit the Dowager Empress of Milford — and, we hope, she will follow proper court etiquette and address her by her full title or “Your Grace,” instead of calling her by a gauche peasant nickname like “The Dowe.”
@The Mighty Finn: What you describe sounds somewhat like my GIL THORPE experience for years. I figured it was because GT was about sports and I know very little about sports. A GT strip would appear on CC, I would carefully read it, and it would register in my brain as something like “Grad tenchy ickle dweet terbobbin!” “Waaz vurts ickle terbobbin? Ust ooble tak libartinon, strad!” So I sympathize with what you are going through. Now that there seems to be more of a focus on Gil’s social life, I am still confused, but in different ways, and the one thing I know for sure from today’s strip is that I do not repeat not want to see any little gremlin cosplay.
Dustin: has dad’s broken leg already healed?
@MKay: #7
“MW: Here we go again. It makes me wonder if Sisyphus managed to convince himself that he was actually helping the boulder.”
I love that.
“Mary Worth” is the “Schrodinger’s Cat” of comic strips. This story may – or may not – be dead – or alive – its fate depends on a random act that may – or may not – occur.
@Little Guy:
“The blonde girl is the evil one because she *&^%£#@ wouldn’t go out with me in high school. Do you understand, you @€?^?”
Alice: How has the incomprehensible Andrea E. Beizer not already been named the official Seventh Chik?
@Little Guy:
“The blonde girl is the evil one because she *&^%£#@ wouldn’t go out with me in high school. Do you understand, you @€?^?”
@Schroduck: #9
I am actually surprised the General’s shoulder stars aren’t quivering like Killer’s cap when he gets aroused.
Beetle Bailey: Can’t the general let Miss Buxley watch her pr0n videos without interruption?
@TheDiva: Re: Crankshaft: He is? I know ages are even more out-of-wack than ever since the Funky Winkerbean/Crankshaft timelines merged together again, but I thought Mopey Pete was in his thirties, while Mindy was devolved into a young twenty-something living with her parents again. (God, at this point Donna Troy and Hawkman have less complicated backstories!)
Re: RMMD: The Bully would probably afford a good vision plan if his 45 year-old ass got a damn job instead of hanging around middle schools like a creep.
@jroggs: #13
“MW: “You matter. You are valued. You and your call are very important to us. Please continue to hold for the next available representative.””
Make that “next available *meddler*…”
LUANN: Are the Evansii aware that there really is a wide middle range between “feral child who gets to do whatever she wants while Bwad and Toni vaguely smile and complain a little while doing nothing to even mildly modify the situation” and “fantasy-exemplary tireless better-drawn child who lives to serve”? If so, it would be nice if the Evansii demonstrated that awareness.
The writer of Alice saw her editor’s quick note — “It ain’t Christmas!” — which was actually intended as a rejection, telling her to save and publish it in a more appropriate season, but misunderstood and just included it as a caption. That’s the only explanation I can think of.
@jroggs @Daisy: “Your need for validation is very unimportant to us. The next available meddler will come on the line…whenever we feel like it. Please don’t hang up.”
@Poteet:
Bwad and Tonic might have benefited from a robot from Questionable Content, but Questionable Content is now a worse hate read than Luann, and the only robot characters that still exist are strangely coloured humans with neck seams (and in Moray’s case, a naked humanoid female fetish blob girl) who are as intolerably annoying as the remaining human cast.
@Daisy: “Mary Worth” is the “Schrodinger’s Cat” of comic strips.
And we now have the corollary of Schrodinger’s Fish. One is dead, one is alive, 50/50, just like sub-atomic theory says.
Plus we need to invoke Chekov’s Fish. Introduce a fishbowl in act one, you can safely expect a dead fish by the denouement. Say, did we ever absolve Willa of murder?
Blondie: Read it and eat it.
@Baja Gaijin: Here’s your next project. Edit Family Circus and replace the transformer on Billy’s poster with a hentai girl.
Beetle Bailey: She’s ready for you Amos!
Gil Thorp: The Dowe Twins promote healthy choices to children on the autism spectrum. Really. So good luck with your extremely niche ghostwriting career, Mimi.
Gil Thorp: At first I thought their names were actually Cab and Merlot, but, no, that would have been interesting.
@2+2=7: I mean, I’m guessing; I don’t think Batiuk actually pins down the ages of his characters beyond broad categories (“high school,” “twenty or thirty-something-ish,” “my generation, which is all-knowing and wise” etc.). But the most common range for Zoomer birth years is 1997-2012, so Pete’s probably either on the older end of that or the young side of Millennial. Point stands either way.
(Honestly, I think generational culture is a bit of BS, anyway…I’m technically Gen X but tend to vibe more with older Millennials, and I have a hard time talking about “Gen Z in the workforce” when my kids are still in grade school.)
@Lord Flatulence: Blondie: Read it and eat it.
“My business card is attached to this cookie. You’ll find my resume inside my underpants.”
Dick Tracy: I like to get my cake and eat it too at HORNE & HARDESTY. How’d they get that past the censors?
And why do both the men and women have shadow erections? Unless…
MT: Sheesh, Rusty, you need to learn to think on your feet and lie. Just tell them that you’re hunting for ginseng to illegally dig up and sell. That will create a very friendly bond.
@Philip: #55
“Beetle Bailey – General Halftrack was sent to sexual harassment training 27 years ago, sparing him the backlash of #MeToo. In that time he’s learned a lot and gotten better as a person. A younger, more lecherous version of himself would have loved the idea of his secretary in bed at work, Now he’s just annoyed he’s getting his version of Beetle to deal with everyday.”
I had to chuckle – at the bottom of the article you linked to, there was this:
NEXT: OBITUARIES
and I couldn’t help but think it was for the dear old General…
Alice: Is the joke here that the ghost of Christmas past in the Muppet Christmas Carol is widely held for the most creepy inhuman uncanny-valley looking Muppet ever built? If so, it’s a bit creative of them to come up with an entirely different weird non-plagiarized design for this ghost. If not, I have no idea what’s happening.
CRANKSHAFT: Huh? She’s moving in with this dolt and she had no idea he had no furniture? And that’s apart from his name, a giant clue. There’s stupid, there’s waaay stupid, and then there’s CRANKSHAFT.
@astroboy: Or “he only wants the cheap shit and an ashtray.”
@Baja Gaijin:
Funniest: #2
Best: #3
In a crossover surprise, Parker from Rex Morgan shows up in Luann to beat the crap out of Little Shannon.
@Baja Gaijin: 3 is the most cathartic, 1 is what happens when Mary’s not around to force abstinence for everyone, and 2…no one is ready for that.
Luann – These past few days have been a nice change, because Toni’s daydreams are usually about Brad not being such a little bitch.
MW: “You matter, Wilbur. You are valued. . . . Now, about your back rent.”
Blondie: “Quirky and original is great! And so are you! . . . TOOTSIE, GET IN HERE. YOU’RE FIRED!”
CS: “Are you still here, old man? Beat it!”
Frazz: Has anyone anywhere ever heard a child express fears about ticks? I didn’t think so.
JP: “Party, heh heh heh. That works every time. Sophie, your party is in Lucas’ room. Reena, you come with me.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“This railing is just like a fire pole”
“Of course, the firefighters really don’t want me tagging along”
“But I paid for all their fire trucks”
@Little Guy: #92
I fervently hope this is the case!! I love this kitty!!
@Ettorre: re: GT: “You might call that thing on her face a beauty mark, but I call it a wart.”
JP – “So you’re Sophie? Or Reena? I’m sorry, hey Glen, which one do I get to fuck again?”
@Poteet: I think you’ve hit upon the problem. I’m certain Karen was a delightful, dutiful angel growing up, so that is, of course, how all children should behave.
@Needless Exposition: #130
Hee hee! And add a keypad menu for choosing your preferred type of muffin – “Press 1 for carrot;” “Press 2 for blueberry;” Press 3 for cheese and bacon” with the put-on-hold background audio featuring a selection of platitudes and affirmations read in a silky older female’s voice…
@Daisy: The majority of newspaper comic strips would improve greatly if the animals were the main characters.
Crank – Wait, this is the first time she’s seen his apartment? These two haven’t even been having sex? I guess now we know how Mopey Pete got his nickname.
@Chance: I feel like we’re not too far from a series of strips where the titular Alice holds up a microphone to some Surrealist entity and asks it for ideas.
@Daisy: “Please remember that you cannot get this kind of invasive meddling from a professional when you receive your bill from us. Thank you for calling Meddline, your number to call for meddlers all around the world.”
@Ukranazi Stepan: Quit picking on Questionable Content. An hourglass-shaped humanoid made of a thin membrane filled with oozy goop would be the PERFECT sex partner, and I’m glad the U.S. government is investigating with an eye toward mass replication.
@UncleJeff: I’m reminded of the time a friend and I went to Ruby Tuesday’s for lunch, and we got there just in time to witness a woman wing a glass ashtray across the bar at another woman, followed by a string of obscenities from both parties, and then we decided to go somewhere else for lunch.
@cheech wizard: I can see that you are a connoisseur of old NYU undergrad jokes.
”I’m bringing two NYU coeds to our family Hamptons weekend party.”
”Excellent. Do you need help filling out their ‘dance cards?’”
RMMD: Meanwhile, Beanpole has secretly removed the batteries from Bully Boy’s transistor radio and glued the cover shut. HAW HAW!
GT: “Oh, one more thing, Beth. He ain’t worth a damn in the sack.”
love is… not being so literal when she says, “Give me a ring sometime.”
@Sequitur: Also, maybe wait until she gets dressed after her shower. She’s got to be feeling pretty vulnerable, so this is an awkward time.
Alice is not taken in by the alien’s claims. You can see her holding her abdomen in fear of some parasite bursting out. Hopefully this is a very different type of alien, but still, at least that means she is not taken in by its claims to be some earthly ghost.
Alice: No! Christmas is 6 months away. I’ve just begun buying Halloween candy.
@Baja Gaijin: Mashups – I vote for the third one. I’m thankful that I wasn’t eating lunch when I saw the second one.
@Cleveland Mocks: Frazz: “Has anyone anywhere ever heard a child express fear of ticks?”
Don’t forget that these are kids who can quote ancient Roman poets from memory and who know the names of every runner who ever ran in a marathon. I’m surprised only that the kid isn’t afraid of something obscure that no ordinary person knows the name of. Frazz’s only fear is pulling a muscle so that he can’t run and be smug and superior.
@cheech wizard: Yeah, I thought it was odd that they’ve been together for some time and yet she’s apparently never seen his apartment.
Maybe they have their assignations at Montoni’s or in his car. After they’re finished, instead of smoking a cigarette they read comic books.
GoComics has a compilation of fourteen comics about emails. Baja Gaijin may want to skip the last one.
@taig: a woman wing a glass ashtray across the bar at another woman,
Another good reason to go No Smoking.
FC: Got to give Billy some credit for being a little more up to times, pop culturally, than Chip Flagston.
RMMD: Parker has a great future as a Phantom villain, as he has the inability to duck a punch that 40 year old Jughead telegraphed (to use a boxing term) from a mile away.
Phantom: Cut me a break, Lamada. I live in a cave in the middle of the jungle. Am I supposed to be up on who’s in with the in crowd? How about sending me a subscription to People Magazine so I’ll know who’s famous this week?
GT: Beth remembered they were both jazz aficionados from their jukebox selections. Cab is Calloway but wasn’t Ezra “Fishmouth” Merlot his sax man?
@Sequitur: Her appearance seems to indicate that she is likely underage. And don’t get me started on whatever the bleep is going on with his feet.
@134 Lord Flatulence: I don’t know what a “hentai girl” is nor do I want to Google it up.
@148 Needless Exposition: Yeah, about that. I didn’t read today’s comics yet. I spent too much time curled up in the fetal position in the shower after putting together the second mashup.
@170 Sequitur: Not clicking that link.
@175 Baja Gaijin:
Ah, the old ostrich ploy.
Here, take this instead.
@Amelie Wikström: Eh, I wouldn’t go that far, especially when you factor in The Dark Crystal and Jim Henson’s The Storyteller. Now, you want creepy Christmas spirits, look no farther than the 2009 mo-cap version with Jim Carrey, especially Christmas Present. That thing not only aged, it decayed like it drank out of the false Grail and was laughing the entire time. Gyaaaa.
Pluggers – Pluggers’ fingers are half the width of an entire smartphone screen, so they can only type words like “QWERTY” and “GHJKL;”. But they refuse to give up.
@Sequitur: #176
Took a look. Oh, enough with the malarkey already, Wilbur…PPFFFBLLTT!!! (If I were Libby, I would be clawing and spraying Wilbur’s apartment with abandon…)
I peeked ahead to next week, and I see that Mary begins her customary meddlebration with Dr. Jeff, but she decided not to invite Wilbur. Go figure.
@Sequitur: Looks like the hallucinogenic effects of that muffin finally kicked in which will make tossing Wilbur overboard a lot easier.
@Daisy: Ironically the only thing spared is Willa. Even Libby knows that she’s been through enough.
@taig: Mary doesn’t make friends; she makes sycophants who fuel her vampiric need to meddle. Plus would you invite Wilbur?
@Needless Exposition: I hope I’m never in a situation where that question would come up.
Okay, today is interesting: this Alice is barely a strip, not even a joke, just a strange sketchy drawing of nonsense (taking place in a gradient-filled void). This is sort of a type of modern anti-humor where they think as long as it’s weird enough, it’ll suffice.
On the other end of the comics spectrum is Gil Thorp, which is three baffling non-sequitur panels that are gibberish to anyone who isn’t intimately familiar with the strip’s characters, and only slightly less gibberish to people like Josh who have put themselves in a position to be as familiar as a person can be.
I’m not sure which is more insulting and contemptuous of its readership but at least Gil Thorp took more intensive labor, while Alice’s artist can knock off a week’s worth of these in a day or two between Doordash gigs (Gil Thorp, being an ancient legacy strip, pays excellent wages and benefits somehow).
Alice: Under certain circumstances we might conclude that the cartoonist badly miscalculated their lead time and wound up running a Christmas strip in late June. But no, the caption makes it clear Andrea Beizer knew when it would run. So the alien/ghost with a surrealist eye at the end of each antenna is just 100% cry for help.
BB: Amos comes into work and is put off to see Miss Buxley in bed. It’s more unsettling than you expect to see your dreams play out in real life. Next thing he’ll be seeing Lt. Fuzz get shot into space.
GT: If Beth got Gil wet the town would be flooded with Gils, an alarming thought. Luckily for him he’s the one getting her, well, you know. At least for the time being.
Ian making light of Wilbur goes back to 1993.
@taig: Like Harvard!
@Needless Exposition: This sounds like an ad for Sid’s agency….
@Sequitur: Look at Toby acting both intrigued and disappointed by Wilbur’s appearance. She was fully expecting that “handsome bachelor” so she could get some hot affair action but all that’s there is Wilbur and there’s no amount of box wine that can forget that kind of affair.
@Jeffmcm: Given that Alice is a three-day-a-week strip, your comment about the amount of time spent on a week’s worth of strips is even more damning.
MW: My prediction: Jeff, Mary and Wilbur head out to sea. Once past the twelve mile limit, Jeff shuts down the engines and the boat glides to a halt. Wilbur, Mary and Jeff make their way to the ablutions area and solemnly flush the fish down the boat’s toilet. The end.
9CL: Amos wrote “The coffee moment commences,” and the non-Solange cat jumped in heroically to protect us from the rest of the paragraph.
C-Shaft: “Sweet enough for me to actually live here? No, deal’s off on that one. Still, it was a nice gesture.”
Crock: Yes, Figowitz had the part of his psyche oriented to immediate gratification. The thief returned it with an expression of sympathy, and well he might have.
DT: Turns out that the 1930s-style automat doesn’t have enough of a crowd for Lee to blend into. Ah well, live and learn.
H&L: At her age “good old days” basically means that Trixie is reminiscing about the womb, doesn’t it?
MW: Mary is sounding more than ever like a daily affirmations AI, so this could be Skynet’s big day.
Phantom: Only in the final panel does Lamanda remember he can refer to Mollusk with a pronoun. That “Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla” song just came into his head.
@Baja Gaijin: I don’t know what a “hentai girl” is nor do I want to Google it up.
Wise man.
Gil Thorp: After attempting to look it up, I still have no idea what “The Dowe” is.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: (9CL) Yeah, the cat spared us from learning about Amos’s coffee enemas. Whew!
@134 Lord Flatulence: I think this mashup may be more disturbing than using a hentai girl.
Frazz: Well, that’s new–a child who dares to question the wisdom of Almighty Frazz. You can see that Frazz’s brain is already starting to hurt, as a child disagreeing with him is like James T. Kirk talking a computer to death. He just can’t comprehend it.
Maybe this kid will stop hanging out with Frazz and go find some friends her own age. Yeah, sure. Do the kids in this strip even ever talk to each other? They all socialize only with Frazz, or occasionally, other adults that Frazz deems worthy.
@195 Baja Gaijin:
I would have changed the caption to, “Do you mind if I start a fire? I need to burn this.”
Late Thread Cuisine: In honor of Ian Cameron.
@198 Baja Gaijin:
Scratch Woodcock? Sounds like a porno name. I figured if it was to honor Ian Cameron it would be blowfish.
@Baja Gaijin: Mix it with prunes.
CS: “Why are you still here, old man? Don’t you have somewhere to burn down? And by that I mean, somewhere else?”
Poor Ed. After Ralph and Keesterman both committed ritual seppuku right there during breakfast at the diner, he’s been reduced to spending his off hours hanging around Mopey Pete. (Note to Mindy: Hide the knives.)
I’m so confused by the last two days of GT. It looks like Gil put the kids on a bus to Mimi’s house, but then suddenly Mimi and Emily are at Gil’s house trading double entendres with Beth? What is happening?
@Baja Gaijin: #195 Mashup – I know that that superheroine was originally someone else, and you changed her to HTT Grandma. I am truly in awe. I stand in line!
@Baja Gaijin: #198 Late thread cuisine – It looks like there’s nothing objectionable about this until you get to the anchovy part. Both the anchovies themselves and all the time spent arranging them.
@I speak Jive: IIRC (and it probably doesn’t matter), the original was Giella’s illustration of Mary Worth as Wonder Woman.
@199 Sequitur: Scotch Woodcock. SCOTCH!
@200 taig: I got the reference.
@203 I speak Jive: I put HTT Grandma’s head on Wonder Mary Worth. It wasn’t much of a change. As far as the Cuisine goes, if it had no anchovy strips, it would have lime Jell-O.
edited to add: Taig got it!
LUANN:. Clever to have guest artist write arc showing how awful Brad and Toni’s ideal daughter would be. By end of two weeks we’ll welcome back mischievous, self-centered Shannon. For more on Jay Fosgitts, see Luann Fan.
@Baja Gaijin: re late thread cuisine: Do you need to snare your own woodcock, or can you pick one up at the grocery store?
@207 Myrtle: The grocery store has woodcock. It’s not the same as this recipe. It’s definitely not the same as the one you’d get from the sex toy shop.
@205 Baja Gaijin:
Well, I’ve mentioned I’m having problems with my eyesight especially small print. Okay, but SCOTCH WOODCOCK is just as bad.
Meanwhile, most Gil Thorpe readers are worried that this is some thing like pronouns. Is Kid Rock blowing bottles of Kirkland wine off a cheap table? Is my grandson going insist upon being called rosé?
@Baja Gaijin: Well done! A+
@209 Sequitur: I knew I should have typed the recipe’s name above the photo.
@211 Lord Flatulence: I thought you might like it.
M. Night Shyamalan’s Alice:The aliens are all Dickens characters! Oh what an Oliver Twist!
@Garrison Skunk: What an Oliver Twist! “Please sir, may I have some less?”
@Baja Gaijin: @209 Sequitur: I knew I should have typed the recipe’s name above the photo.
_______________________
The names of the meals have been changed to protect the innocent chiefs.
“My partner is Sgt Sequitur, the boss is Josh F.,
My name is Gaijin, I carry a spatula.”- Jack Webb, “Dragmeal 2024” (standard opening).
@Baja Gaijin: A woodcock is a kind of bird. The American woodcock performs an impressive spring display flight that some call “sky dancing.” The male bird flies way up in the air, and as it descends, air whistles through special feathers and makes high-pitched sounds called “peenting.” I’ve watched displaying woodcocks. *looks at photo of Scotch Woodcock* Nope, no resemblance. Another name for the woodcock is “timber doodle.” *checks photo again.* Nope, doesn’t help.
I just looked up “Scotch Woodcock” online, and supposedly the recipe name was inspired by the name of another dish called “Welsh rabbit.” Maybe there is some other UK eggy dish called “English squirrel” and another called “Irish red deer.” Oh, you imaginative folks across the pond. Here’s to you. *swigs a little Scotch*
@Baja Gaijin: @199 Sequitur: Scotch Woodcock. SCOTCH!
______________________
“If it’s not Scottish, then it’s COCK!”- Mike Myers, “Everything Scottish” sketch, SNL (adapted).
@Poteet: A Woodcock is a kind of bird.
_______________________
It’s yellow, flys in a crooked line, and has been known to cosplay with beagles.
@215 Garrison Skunk: SNERK!
@216 Poteet: Woodcock, the bird, is delicious as long as it’s not striped with anchovy slices. Welsh Rabbit/Rarebit is basically baked cheese toast. I was disappointed the first time I had it. I figured it’d be more exotic.
@Baja Gaijin: Anchovies AND capers over eggs? GIMME GIMME GIMME. (I like salt, although I shouldn’t have too much of it)
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Chicago never had a Horn & Hardart Automat — Strickly Baltimore, Philly, and (famously) New York. And the last one in NYC closed in 1991 — when the little windows and nickels thing was LONG gone.
@Baja Gaijin: Welsh Rabbit is what we had in America and England before we got pizza. It’s still yummy if you go to the trouble of making it, but it’s easier to order a pizza. Both will give you Rarebit Dreams.
@Voshkod: I think I’ll wait to go ask Alice when she’s ten feet tall.
@Ukulele Ike: Back during the Croptop saga they showed a library with two stone lions in front of it. I guess the creative team like to turn Neo-Chicago into Crypto-New York sometimes.
@Baja Gaijin: It looks more like Rice Krispies treats topped with peanut butter and chocolate. What a cruel, cruel surprise I would be in for.
@224 Peanut Gallery:
This would be a greater surprise.
@225 Sequitur: I’m pretty sure when someone says they “snaked the toilet,” that’s not what they meant.
@226 Baja Gaijin:
Ah, but which method is most likely to repel Marvin?
@227 Sequitur: Moot point–Marvin poops everywhere except in the toilet.
MW: Mary may preach universal salvation, but if ever there were a concludive argument for Calvinism and limited atonement, Wilbur is its incarnation.