Archive: Alice

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Gil Thorp, 4/13/26

Look, in general I’ve been in favor of Marty Moon’s sartorial evolution, but I think that maybe, with this white suit and flowered shirt with matching pocket square, he’s gone a bit too far in the dapper direction. It is, frankly, not really his vibe, and when the country club on whose grounds he is 100% not authorized to be present gets wind of him and the makeshift studio he’s broadcasting from, he’ll have to flee on short notice, and in the very likely scenario where he trips and falls in the process, the grass stains will never come out of that jacket.

The Lockhorns, 4/13/26

I stand by my earlier complaint about strips where we start in mid conversation but one character is just repeating back to the other one material covered previously in the conversation, but honestly, given that The Lockhorns is a one-panel strip about a married couple locked in a continuous argument that will never end until the universe achieves its final heat death, it’s kind of impressive that they don’t do it very often.

Crankshaft, 4/13/26

Holy cow, doing a Santa-related pun … in April? Christmas was months ago, do people even remember what Santa’s whole deal is? Better put in a panel depicting him doing his trademark laugh, just in case.

Alice, 4/13/26

Oh, man, social media … you guys heard about this? You heard about how addictive it can be? Alice has just gotten into social media, and it is not going well.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/20/26

One of the special interest rabbit holes I’ve gone down in the past few years is the history of the composition of the Bible, and I’ve become particularly fascinated by the so-called Documentary Hypothesis, which is one theory (though by no means the only accepted one) about how the Torah (the first five books of the Hebrew Bible) were put together. Joel Baden’s The Composition of the Pentateuch has what’s probably the most recently formulated version of it, which goes something like this: at some point after the Judean elite returned from the Babylonian exile, some scholar or scholars took four different source documents that told different versions of the stories of the creation of the universe and the early history of the Hebrews, and edited them together into a single narrative. This editing consisted of meticulously figuring out how the different episodes could be strung together chronologically without creating discrepancies like characters dying and then coming back to life, though as you would expect, it still creates a lot of puzzling results. (For instance, Baden demonstrates that the story of Joseph being sold into slavery is really difficult to follow because it’s actually three somewhat contradictory stories mashed together.)

Anyway, here’s what’s to me the funniest aspect of this. The first four books of the Torah, covering the creation of the world, the legendary arrival of Abraham’s family in Canaan, their descendants’ enslavement in Egypt, and their descendants’ escape and wandering in the desert, were created by interweaving three different sources, called J, E, and P by scholars, together. There’s a fourth source, D, that covers much of the same narrative territory. But D, as originally written, had a literary framing device: on the last day of the Exodus, just before the Hebrews cross into the Promised Land, Moses stands before the multitude and recaps for them the history of the Hebrews and the laws that they received. And because the editors are so single-minded on keeping things chronological, this recap (the book of Deuteronomy) is placed at the very end of the story, so the effect of reading the edited version is that you read the whole thing and then you get a retelling at the end, which differs in quite a few details from the earlier versions of it you’ve already read!

So, sorry for the long digression, but what I’m wondering here is: are we going to get a full-on retelling of the fake self-help Mirakle Method story, from Mud’s point of view? Will it differ in subtle but meaningful ways from the 2023-2024 strips that laid it out in the first place? Is Rex Morgan, M.D., being pieced together from ancient texts, and will this act of scholarship cause a worldwide religious transformation over the next few centuries? Stay tuned!

Family Circus, 3/20/26

That went, uh, very off the rails and I apologize to those who were bewildered by it. Hey, you know what I hope doesn’t serve as the beginning of a new religion any time soon? This Family Circus panel where Jeffy is ranting about how “shadows don’t have faces.” It’s creepy and I don’t like it! Stop talking about the faceless shadows, Jeffy!

Alice, 3/20/26

You know, I’ve never been really clear on what Alice’s job is, but this strip forces me to confront a harrowing question on that subject: whatever it is, is it possible that she’s good at it? I will be taking most of the weekend to dwell on this with increasing unease.

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Hi and Lois, 1/23/26

Now, if you only have a surface understanding of my whole deal, you’re going to read this and say, “Ooooh, Josh is going to make a joke about Hi and Lois having sex.” Absolutely wrong! Look at their near-panicked facial expressions in the first panel. I’m not sure what exactly is going on in the room to which they’ve retreated in panel two, but it’s not sex. Probably crying, if I had to guess.

Alice, 1/23/26

Speaking of facial expressions conveying negative emotions, from Alice’s stricken facial expression here I do not think we’re supposed to be taking the “Hoarder’s Hell” caption as being “fun” or “ironic”! Do you think living in a vast and mostly featureless void like the Aliceverse makes it more pleasant to be a hoarder, because you have infinite room to put all your stuff, or less pleasant, because there are no external brakes on your compulsion? Based on Alice’s whole vibe here, I’m thinking it’s the latter.

Intelligent Life, 1/23/26

If you want a picture of the future, imagine two absolutely insufferable dork-ass nerds saying “Got the reference!” back and forth to one another — forever.