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Alice, 4/15/24

I’m happy to report that, sine I started reading Alice a few weeks ago, I have fallen thoroughly, 100% under its spell. This strip takes perfectly ordinary situations, like when you receive parrot medicine from beloved novelist and short story writer Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007) but are then unable to give it to your parrot because it flies away, and turns them into delightfully surreal episodes. Ha ha, that parrot does not want to take that medicine! Also Alice (?) is … flying? And her head …. looks like that? Anyway! Alice, I don’t fully “get it” but I’m keenly interested to see what it’s doing next!

Crock, 4/15/24

Look, man, I get what you’re going for here and it’s basically cute and whimsical, but maybe don’t have your characters stumble upon a field of hacked-off human extremities rotting in the desert sun if your comic set is against the backdrop of grinding colonial insurgency, OK? Just … trust me on this one.

The Phantom, 4/15/24

So this current Phantom storyline, it turns out, is about Kit Jr. joining the Ghost Who Walks on one of his adventures, so we can all find out if he really has it what it takes to step up, become the 22nd Phantom, the ultimate jungle warrior and seemingly immortal crime fighter, and fulfill the destiny he was born and bred for. Anyway, turns out he definitely does not have what it takes! He’s just going to get strangled with a chain by some low-level henchman wearing a tank top, because he wasn’t paying attention, like a dumbass.

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Mary Worth, 3/25/24

Big news, everybody. They did it. They dragged out the Keith storyline and then the Mary and Jeff go on a date transition for so long that here we are at the beginning of a Weston storyline and I’m ready to throw a celebratory party. Maybe it’s just the end of the suffering talking, but I’m actually pretty intrigued that we’re going to get some details on Dawn’s mom! Remember, at least in Wilbur’s feverish memory, she’s an icy Hitchockian blonde obsessed with advancing in high society:

Panel from Mary Worth, 8/4/22

You can check out this post for an in-depth dive into Wilbur’s early ’90s introduction in the strip, when he washed up on the shores of Charterstone as a refugee after being voted out of the house by both his ex and his daughter; but then Dawn discovered that sometimes those who implement a purge during a revolution find themselves similarly purged in a later phase, and she too landed in California. What’s been going on since? What terrible revelations does her mother have to tell her about Wilbur … or about herself? I for one am unreasonably excited to find out!

Gil Thorp, 3/25/24

One thing I don’t feel like I need to know about is Gil’s son’s elite hacking skills. That’s really none of my business and I think it would be very funny if this never gets any follow up, or at least none until the syndicate finally greenlights the Jami Thorp: Cybercriminal spin-off strip.

Alice, 3/25/24

Ahh, first Alice (I will be referring to this woman as “Alice” until proven wrong about it) had to shield her niece and nephews from the horror of alien invasion, and today she learns that she suffers from an awful affliction where she cannot retain memories of happy times, only suffering. Is this strip just a tale of nightmares that never cease?

Daddy Daze, 3/25/24

I like that the opening panel here assures us that the Daddy Daze daddy did indeed take a bite out of this pizza before giving it to his son. I mean, this man is clearly insane, creating an elaborate world where his pre-verbal infant communicates entirely in a series of “ba”s, so it’s totally possible that he lives in a decaying Grey Gardens-style home that is in fact infested with very large mice.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/25/24

Sure, I’ve griped some about this Rex Morgan storyline, but if it ends with this 99-year-old cowboy showing the Count his high-tech mechanical dick, I’m willing to forgive a lot.

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Alice, 3/18/24

Happy Monday, everybody! I’ve decided to add a few more strips into my repertoire, and here’s Alice. Here it is! I would describe this art as being extremely deranged in a 1990s-specific way, and as a Gen Xer who used to read alt-weeklies when those were a thing, I’m delighted to see it. What the fuck is going on, exactly? Can the children see the aliens? Does “Aunty” (the titular Alice, perhaps?) know this is a terrifying spacecraft and is trying to protect the children from that awful knowledge, or does she genuinely think what’s clearly a solid object is “just a cloud”? Are the ends of the spaceship transparent, allowing anyone to see inside, or is this like a cutaway drawing for the benefit of us readers, even though the exterior of the craft appears opaque to the characters? Why is one of the children not saying “Look?” Does she figure the other two are already doing it so why bother? Anyway, this is great, looking forward to more of it.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/18/24

Most Barney Google and Snuffy Smith Present … Sparkplug’s Grandson Li’l Sparky strips consist of absolutely terrible horse-related wordplay, so I’m actually kind of glad today’s is just about horse riding, and what happens when that goes wrong (you fall off and terribly injure yourself).

Judge Parker, 3/18/24

Ahh, it’s a classic Judge Parker time skip! I love the bold font in panel two here, which indicates that Alan is yelling. I certainly hope he’s been yelling for the past two months!

Beetle Bailey, 3/18/24

Big news, everyone! Beetle and Plato have been taken prisoner by the enemy. Guess this strip will have to go on without them until they’re released, after we sign a peace treaty with whoever it is we’re at war with.