Various foodstuffs
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Tina’s Groove, 6/13/24
Say, it’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the anxious depressive food service workers over at Tina’s Groove. What are they up to? Ah, well, seems like they’re taking rotting meat home, to eat? Ha ha, that’s, uh, that’s something … funny? I guess? She’s eating rotting meat?
Beetle Bailey, 6/13/24
There’s nothing rotten going on over at Beetle Bailey, that’s for sure! Just delicious pie. It’s hard to top a fresh-baked pie, except when it’s a la mode! In that case, you have to top it, with ice cream, because that’s how it works. Anyway, today’s Beetle Bailey, which features these two guys about to dig into some delicious pie, has been brought to you by an arts grant from the American Pie Council®: For The Love Of Pie!
Mary Worth, 6/13/24
I love that Wilbur has not only announced that he’ll be coming by Mary’s apartment, but has also described how he’ll be alerting her to his presence. Only open the door if you ring the doorbell, Mary! If you hear a knock, just aim your gun at the door at your best approximation of center mass and start firing.
228 replies to “Various foodstuffs”
MW: Has Jeff actually had a face to face conversation with Wilbur in the past decade? Despite their connection with Mary and their children having “dated” at one point, have they themselves been seen together at any point? There is no way that Jeff has any sort of feelings towards Wilbur that isn’t annoyance from Mary talking his ear off about this fat lard’s ridiculous problems that were his fault in the first place.
Mary Worth Mashup: Were today’s strip to continue for two more panels…
@Baja Gaijin: Wilbur Weston: Santa Royale’s equivalent to J. Wellington Wimpy.
Six Chix: That’s not how feet work AT ALL.
MW-“You promise me that if I take Wilbur out on my boat we’ll get to push the beds together, Mary,” Jeff asks.
MW:
“My goodness, Mary! — Jeff is serious about this! To do a foodstuff-themed take on one of my favorite Talking Heads songs, ‘This ain’t Havardi/This ain’t no Crisco/This ain’t no droolin’ around’ !”
RMMD:
“I happen to live across the street from the school, so if this fight of yours happens to spill outside of the corridors here, you kids stay off my lawn!”
RMMD:
In the first panel, a young Meghan Markle recoils at the display of unbridled pugnacity that is unfolding before her.
Haha, food service workers are so poor that they have to take spoiled meat from work because they can’t afford to buy it! They have to work 12 hour shifts with a tapeworm because the alternative is starving! Haha, this comic is actually relatable!
Well, to be fair, there is a branch of cuisine where you cook with meat that’s “high,” as in “slightly tainted or spoiled.” So maybe ol’ Monica just likes to cook like that. Nothing to see here, folks, move along.
BB: “And booze! Booze makes everything better!”
Again with the phone. Mary is holding her phone more-or-less like a normal person. But Wilbur holds his in a way no human ever has – like it fell into doggie doo and he’s trying to touch as little of it as possible.
Beetle Bailey: Looks like Sarge is about to eat that entire oven-hot pie by himself, shoveling entire slices down his gullet with the serving wedge for a utensil. Will following that up with an entire carton of vanilla ice cream save him from massive mouth and throat burns? Stay tuned to find out!
Mary Worth: Did the colorist forget to do Mary’s muffins today, or do they really look that pale, sallow, and unappetizing? (Coincidentally, “pale, sallow, and unappetizing” is how Mary described Wilbur when she filled out a dating-app profile for him.)
Phantom: Looks like Kit will be adding a billionaire’s lunar lander to Major Treasure Room.
JP: Asshole family from the Hamptons still believing their guilty relative isn’t guilty? Yeah, they’re not that rich. Their lawyer should have gotten him off with a small fine and handslap.
BB – It’s funny cuz “top” has more than one meaning! …Hold on. It’s not funny. Never mind.
Wilbur on a watercraft?
It’s been awhile since Wilbur went overboard. I’m looking forward to it.
MW: Jeff is disappointed when he sees the body in question is that of a fish.
Aside to Mary: “He’s not much of a badass” [puts cigars and whiskey bottles back in his sea chest]
Beetle Bailey : “Pie à la mode” is one of the weirder american expressions. Where does it come from, etymology-wise? Did some franco-americans think putting ice cream on pie was fashionable?
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Dustin : where does Dustin get his immaturity from what a mystery #3647
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Marvin : aspires to become the only thing he CAN become : a fat sack filled with crap
So, Ed Kudlick, basically************
Slylock Fox : EXTRA DIFFERENCE : In the panel on the right, the fat orange cat is a bootleg GARFIELD. In the panel on the left, he is a bootleg HEATHCLIFF.
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Tina’s Groove : Monica’s main gimmick is that she is the most put-upon, mistreated, miserable person to have ever been a waitress, yet has the perpetually happy and eager demeanor (as opposed to Tina’s “if you mistake her bangs for eyebrows and neutral expression for a frown, she looks like she’s crying all the time” and Suzanne’s (blonde waitress) “continually whining, bitching and insulting everything in sight, yet is surprised when people are upset at her”).
Monica’s secondary gimmick is that she’s the most repulsive, unhygienic person you’ve ever met. Today’s strip doesn’t show it, but Monica has the hairiest legs of the entire cast (and she wears a SHORT SKIRT and ANKLE SOCKS to really show off her legs!).
So, Monica receiving leftovers when they’re putrefying but being happy about it fills BOTH her gimmicks, in that her boss treats her poorly by giving her garbage as a “bonus”, but everything we know about her seems to indicate gross, rotten food is her favorite foodstuff.
MW: I truly hope that ‘ring your doorbell in the morning’ isn’t a euphemism.
MW: If you anxiously blurt out “I’ve never taken my boat out for a burial at sea before, ha ha!” as soon as the conversation drifts that way, you’ve DEFINITELY disposed of a corpse or two in the ocean. Say, we’ve not seen Ian for a while, have we?
BB: This Ain’t American Pie: A Triple-X Gay Parody
MW: [Minutes earlier, a text conversation…]
M – Jeff, my friend, I have a favor to ask of you.
J – sure mary whats up
M – Have you ever done a burial at sea before?
J – uh cant say i have
J – why
M – My dear friend Wilbur has been very sad lately and no longer values himself properly.
M – He isn’t taking my advice and I’m displeased by his poor attitude.
M – So after some thought, I figured this would be the best solution.
J – haha
J – wait are you serious
M – I’m always serious, Jeff.
M – This is what’s best for Wilbur.
J – holy shit
J – uh
J – okay
J – since its for you
J – bring wilbur in the morning
J – there will be less people around
M – Yes, this is a private matter. Thank you for being understanding, Jeff. See you tomorrow.
J – god help us for doing this
M – He surely will, Jeff. He surely will.
MW: Somewhere deep within, some small part of Mary has got to be admitting that meddling sure ain’t what it used to be.
TINA’S GROOVE: So, Carlos is trying to kill Monica? Not too subtle.
BB: Haha, Sarge is a repulsive, snaggle-toothed glutton.
@Little Guy: Not to mention Ces already has it backwards. Shouldn’t Eclair here have been the one to take the rap and that’s why he’s estranged from the whole family? After all, we’re already repeating the ‘wicked (twin) sibling’ trope, might as well throw in the ‘make vapid character look tough by claiming they’ve done hard time’ trope as well. Hey, maybe he could have met that Charlburt Breynolds guy (the one who was dating Abbey’s indentured servant) while in the joint! It’s not too late to bring that little chestnut of a storyline back too!
“How often do you give Monica free beef?” “Oh, all the time.”
“It’s hard to top a fresh-baked pie.”
“I’ll ring your doorbell in the morning.”
Is the common theme sexual innuendo? Or did I just wake up in a lascivious mood?
TG Jesus, how expired does meat have to be before it turns green? If your food server can’t tell that it’s not for for human consumption at that point, you might have even bigger problems.
JP: Remember a month ago when Abbey used the full resources of the CIA to do a comprehensive background check on Declan and conclusively discovered that he was, and I quote, a decent, hard-working guy “with not a single blemish on his personal record?” Francesco Marciuliano doesn’t! So now Declan has an extremely complicated and worrying legal and family history! At this point it wouldn’t surprise me if Declan’s brother was the Roy Rogers of some similar embezzling kerfuffle infamy. Would that fit? Absolutely not at all, but why even bother to ask a question like that about this series these days?
I’ve brought this up before, but it is crazy how little we’ve learned about Declan up to this point. Forget his personality and goals, his life and history, and the nature of his relationship with Neddy and what he knows about her checkered history; we didn’t even learn things like his occupation, age, or even his last name. Despite that, here we now are, like a drunk whose vision has started to clear up just enough to get a look at the creature person that he’s shacked up with for the night, balls deep in Declan’s Tragic Backstory without a condom or any recollection of how we ended up here.
And what an unbelievable Tragic Backstory it is. Literally. Marciuliano likes to wallow in vagueness to protect his plot holes, but this event – wherein Decbro embezzled money from the family company, tried to pin the crime on Declan, and everyone else in the family took Decbro’s side even after Decbro was investigated and convicted – is presented like it just happened completely out of the blue, as though it’s something that even could happen completely out of the blue. The ramifications of such developments are staggering and require way more background information and set-up to establish, but there’s a very strong likelihood that this is a just a handwave explanation and we’re not going to be learning much more about any of this.
How could this have not come up between Declan and Neddy before? With anyone else, it would be impossible. Declan would have to have outright lied about his family before, or his girlfriend would have to be someone so self-obsessed and dense that she failed to even realize she hadn’t learned anything about her fiancé and his family in the year or so they’ve been dating. But, that describes Neddy to a T, and I can fully believe she’s only seen Declan as the handsome man who buys her food and gives her the sex, and she’s only started to take notice of details and issues about the sexy food man now that they’re threatening to interfere with HER wedding. So Marciuliano gets a point for this. I’m nothing if not magnanimous.
Ahhhhh. It feels good to finally have made it through the Sally Forth spillover crap and returned to the convoluted conspiracy hijinks and nonsense we love. We are, as the kids say, so back.
Mary Worth – Antidepressants take some time to start working, but Wilbur is instantly cured of severe depression thanks to platitudes and being yelled at. This is beyond infuriating.
Aunty Acid – If she really wants to freak him out, ask him to open the little side vent window.
Mary Worth, 6/13/24: “…open the door if you the doorbell…” If you, the doorbell – WHAT?” I am beginning to suspect that you plant these childish errors as kind of a Slylock Fox (Bob Weber Jr.®) “Find the errors made and not proofread” search game. I mean, NOBODY can be so stupid they don’t proofread what they release on a public forum.
BB: I’m thankful they didn’t show Sarge & Cookie role-playing the pie scene from American Pie. I don’t even want to know what ice cream is code for.
MW: Fingers crossed for a rare California hurricane to pop up tomorrow. If it dies, global warming will be doing the Lord’s work.
What, no “ha ha, it’s funny because she’s going to eat rotting meat”? Looks like you’re actually listening to me! I win!
Okay, Mary, here’s the thing: Once is fine. Twice is weird. Calling the same person “My friend” three times in presumably the same day is… well, it sounds like a threat. Like a Mob-level threat. You know what, Mary? I don’t think you’re getting on that boat to [[checks notes]] have a goldfish funeral. I think Wilbur’s about to be fitted with some cement overshoes and in a day or so you’ll be returning to land to tearfully tell everyone that Wilbur tossed Stellan and then himself into the briny deep. Don’t get me wrong, I love this plan, I just think you could (and should!) be hiding it better.
MW:
Just
Sit right back and you’ll jeer a tale
A tale of a hateful trip
That started from a rottin’ corpse
Aboard a briny ship
The mate was a flighty, flailin’ lass
The skipper? — way demure
Three passengers set sail at day
For a wee, dour tour
A wee, dour tour
The weather started getting tough
The briny ship was tossed
If not for the courage of the steerless crew
The widow would be lost
The widow would be lost
The ship ran aground on the shore of this
Uncharted desert isle
With still Stellan
The skipper, too
And Wilbs was there in his strife
A moody tar
I profess, sir, that Mary’s bland
Here on still Stellan’s isle!
Tina’s Groove-Got to get rid of all that rotten food before the health inspector comes.
Tina’s Groove – Shows like Kitchen Nightmares are exaggerated for prurient effect, which is why they are popular with people who never worked in kitchens, because the fear that you could get poisoned by a stranger is deeply wired in our psyches, culture, and folklore. But these shows ignore how really crappy those jobs are and how little they pay.
Beetle Bailey – Apparently National Pie Day is January 23rd, (according to the AI generated answer from Google). National Ice Cream Pie day is August 18th. Sadly, I can’t seem to connect this to any fake holiday that just appears on a calendar in our materialistic version of Saint’s Days. I’m going to guess Beetle Bailey folks saw National Pie Day on their calendar in January and they have a roughly 5 month lead time on comics.
Mary Worth – Something suspicious in Mary saying that Jeff’s never taken his boat out for a burial at sea, but he wants to help out Wilbur. Jeff has to believe Mary is planning to off Wilbur finally, and Jeff is sad, but he’s also read Of Mice and Men and knows that sometimes it’s a kindness to end future suffering.
Tina’s Groove: Listen, if the Apostle Paul could allow “the weak” to eat meat sacrificed to idols, who are we, “the strong,” to judge? Modern-day comics snarkers, that’s who. Carlos is a bad person and should feel bad about himself!
MW – And after we help you with Stellan’s funeral, we’ll help you learn how to hold a cell phone. You do have opposable thumbs, you know.
Mary Worth: Not to horn in on Baja’s shtick too much, I’m just going to leave this here…
Tina’s Grooves-Go into a gas station convenience store yesterday and I bought a pint of milk. The milk was two weeks past the expiration date.
@Philip:
Beetle Bailey-Why is pie day January 23rd and not March 14th?
MW: Wilbur is hoping Mary’s kind intervention is actually a sexual overture. He’s thinking “Maybe if I literally shout the word ‘doorbell’ she’ll pick up on the intended innuendo.”
@But What Do I Know?:
I was going to say the same thing… is it me? Do I just have a filthy mind?
TG: “By the time she eats it, it will be mostly maggots. I hear they’re a good source of protein.”
BB: Should I feel bad or good about myself that I knew exactly where this was headed from the first panel? Bad. Yeah, definitely bad.
MW: Wilbur forgets how he’s going to alert Mary to his arrival, so he’s going to sit outside her condo window blasting his car horn for extended periods. Oh, wait, no, that’s how my neighbors do that.
@Liam:
That’s because Pi day already has March 14th taken.
“Doctor Jeff has never taken his boat out for a burial at sea before. He usually disposes of his mistakes in the woods east of town.”
MW: [missing panel] The ketamine in the special K joint Mary shares with Wilbur halts his suicidal thoughts and depression almost instantly.
“WooHoo! Let’s go bury that fish, Chubbo!“
Zits: I can definitely imagine Pierce’s parents just shrieking “YES ! !” so loud Connie thinks she hears them on her phone.
FC: The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled (on Jeffy) was to convince Jeffy he was playing baseball with God.
Marvin gears up for the grandest shit ever. “Dad better bring his hip waders, heh, heh.”
FC – I’m surprised the little moron isn’t standing directly under the ball so it hits him in his face.
@jroggs: re JP: Wait, wait – let’s not get bogged down with all the petty details! heh heh heh Let’s just enjoy the distraction of the Seagulls o’ Soap Opera! They’re here to remind everyone that nothing needs to make sense, just go with the air flow…
And breaking news – we’re flying The Gulls up to Santa Royale to add to the pageantry of Stellan’s Final Voyage! Whatta scene that’s gonna be! And the Dolphins o’ Death (not to be confused with the Dolphins o’ Delight, or the Dolphins o’ Despair) are workin’ on a special routine that will be respectful and uplifting, as befits the solemn occasion. We still hope to get Willa included in the ceremonies and get some use outta those non-returnable widow’s weeds…..
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Speaking of non-petty details, this was a massive missed opportunity to cover Neddy and Declan from head-to-toe in bird poop.
Frazz: It takes Caulfield a looong time to finish that Wordle.
Luann: Oh no, it seems like we’re getting a Very Special Luann Story about people growing old. I’m sure it will be heartwarming.
CS: “Oh, I made enough money for the cardboard for our pizzas.” “You mean the cardboard boxes?” “No, our pizzas are literally cardboard.” {Smirk}
There’s only so much you can show in a the panels of a comic strip, but we do know that Wilbur doesn’t act like an actual human being so maybe Mary has been giving him lessons on how to be an acceptable person off camera. “Yes, Wilbur, you do ring the doorbell when you come to someone’s home. Well done!” Hopefully the next class will be on how to hold a phone, something Mary has down pat but what the hell, Wilbur?
9CL: This basic premise of this joke (and yesterday’s) is fundamentally flawed even in a comic strip full of fundamental flaws. How would the Overlook Twins not know how old Alistair is? They grew up with him! Does time flow in some weird non-Euclidean fashion in this universe?
@Philip:
Although in Kitchen Nightmares, in most cases the problem isn’t even with the workers, but the management.
There are quite a few times that show that the staff is actually really talented, but are bound to idiotic rules that they have to follow. Sometimes if there is something horribly disgusting or just plain stupid on the menu, the embarrassed staff member will recommend that Gordon Ramsey (for his own sanity) not to order it (so of course, he’s going to order it)
@Baja Gaijin: Wilbur is holding his phone like that because he slathered it in mayo. He’s also going to eat that phone at the conclusion of this call.
@jroggs: Well, we suggested that – The Gulls woulda really liked to have “shown their stuff” – but management doesn’t seem to be interested in authenticity…
Mary Worth: Asked to “say a few words,” Jeff, who’s been on the boat (and therefore drinking) since eight in the morning, drags Wilbur over to the rail: “It’s a goddamn fish! Look! Fish! All fish! Boo-hoo-hoo, waah-waah-waah! Jesus!”
BB: “Next assignment – come up with an idea for a comic strip about military life, that’s been running daily for over 70 years. That narrows the possibilities for originality. How about – [scans Internet, hits a recipe site] – pie? And with ‘pie’ for a premise, what’s a punchline? [reads further on the recipe page] Ice cream! That combo is a [checks vocabulary list] knee-slapper! Now for the military part – the guys cooking and eating the pie are soldiers! Done!” So today we have further evidence that at Walker-Browne Enterprises, even the artificial intelligence that produces the strips has a tee time. Hey, maybe this strip wasn’t its best work, but there was only three milliseconds left before robot golf!
Don Abundio, translated:
“What’s that, Melo?”
“A ukulele that will be my ticket to stardom!”
“I’m going to practice every day and then launch my new career”
“I’ll be the world’s greatest Tiny Tim impersonator”
@The Rambling Otter:
At least one other person so…not just you.
Between Friends: “Ma cher old bag, in FRAHNCE we do not ‘grab lunch.’ We will sit, we will consume three courses and a bottle of wine and digest thoroughly over un cafe and four cigarettes as we discuss existential nausea.”
MW: Wilbur: “Yes, I’ll ring your doorbell in the morning!!!”
Mary: “Wilbur, like I tell Jef, I’m not into that.”
MW: The muffins on the counter make me make me wonder whether Wilbur is the side quest or primary meddle.
Phantom: I thought the comics got Judge Parker and the Phantom mixed up.
BB: It’s probably time Cookie tried out a new hair style on his shoulders.
TG – Fun Fact – With the mold, it qualifies as a vegetable under new SNAP standards….
BB – Just keep moving along folks -no joke here.
Comics Police
MW – You can ring my bell-elly-el-el; Ring my bell….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Zits Spanish to English.
Mary’s Groove – In a rare crossover, Jeff is going to give Mary “the free beef”. Mary is going to split and butter her muffin in return.
@Kevin on Earth: MW: The muffins on the counter make me make me wonder whether Wilbur is the side quest or primary meddle.
Oh, God, Mary’s going to bring Wilbur a date, isn’t she? “You’ll love Wilbur. He’s so sensitive.”
MW: You’re being set up, Wilbur. It’s a muffin ambush.
BB: I wonder when the last time was that a Beetle Bailey strip contained anything that could be even generously described as funny.
@Hibbleton: Let’s go bury that fish, Chubbo!
I don’t want to know what *that’s* code for.
@2 Baja Gaijin:
Great. But I wonder why Josh left off the last two panels? Maybe he doesn’t go to the Red Lobster.
@BigTed:
MW: Just raw dough for Wilbur. Mary hopes to poison him.
@C’mon:
I meant that as what I was originally going to say ;-)
JP: “He stole from our company and blamed it on me!”
“And what company was that?”
“You know that hotdog cart parked outside the student union?”
Blondie: How does Dagwood not know that the employee discount does not apply to parents? It’s gonna get ugly when he has to pay full price for the Pallet-Sized Sandwich.
RMMD: The sudden presence of all these kids suggests that the previous class is over and the next one will begin shortly. Which suggests that flattop just spent 40 minutes accomplishing nothing. Turn in your bully card, loser.
Tina’s Groove: I try to ignore this strip as much as possible, but I don’t think Monica is a server. She’s the woman who stands at the podium in front and checks reservations and seats people and hands them menus. Does that mean this demented, unsanitary boob makes more money than Tina and Unattractive Blonde Waitress?
Carlos is the entire kitchen staff, which makes him a short-order cook, yet the joint advertises “fine dining.” How the hell does THAT work?
@taig: “9CL: This basic premise of this joke (and yesterday’s) is fundamentally flawed even in a comic strip full of fundamental flaws. How would the Overlook Twins not know how old Alistair is? They grew up with him! Does time flow in some weird non-Euclidean fashion in this universe?”
Yes, the first two strips in this sequence explicitly established that two-year-old Alistair was a piano prodigy, that he sat on Edda’s lap with The Twins by his side to operate the floor pedals, and that three-year old Alistair did the same.
But now the biggest concern with Alistair proposing to both twins at once is that he is too young to marry them and has been lying about his age to everyone.
All we have established is that The Twins are a single entity who always speaks in unison and will never develop any kind of independent identity.
Also – Alistair is the mirror universe Amos. He wears the same green sports jacket, black slacks, and yellow collared shirt that Amos (and no other 16-year-old boy ever) wears. The only way to tell Amos and Alistair apart is that Amos has no chin, while Alistair has a huge, projecting chin, so that if he and Amos were to make out, their faces would mesh perfectly.
I wonder if Amos’ welcome absence for the past week plus is related to this fact?
“That’s right, General, Sarge used French. I think he’s the enemy agent we’ve been looking for. Get the MPs over here quickly because . . . j’accuse. What? No, I said ‘I accuse.’ I accuse Sarge.” Cookie hung up the phone, humming ‘La Marseillaise’ quietly.
MW: “At first Jeff was reluctant to do this (“Are you nuts?) but I convinced him. I might have told a little white lie, however. You’ve heard of the make-a-wish foundation, right? Oh, and we’re gonna need to find you a wheelchair.”
@allangary: Not doggy doo….
@Banana Jr. 6000:
@Hibbleton: Let’s go bury that fish, Chubbo!
I don’t want to know what *that’s* code for.
Some people might read sexual innuendo in my original comment. I applaud those people!
Cookie (wild-eyed like John Astin as Gomez Addams): Sarge! You spoke French!
Mary Worth: After Mary hangs up, she’ll call Toby and Ian to strongarm them into attending the fish funeral. “Ian, do we have to go? After the way Wilbur acted at my birthday party?” “Yes, it’s in the condo’s bylaws. If Mary invites us to anything, even the opening of an envelope, we have to attend.”
JP – What a difference class makes Neddy! If you were just “the help” you would only have learned about this from the news after being abandoned in Ibiza a on your honeymoon!
I had grown very weary of the Wilbur storyline, but, like many of you, I’m hoping the burial at sea is Wilbur.
@Anonymous: Beetle Bailey : “Pie à la mode” is one of the weirder american expressions. Where does it come from, etymology-wise? Did some franco-americans think putting ice cream on pie was fashionable?
Franco Americans? Not the great Chef Boy Ar Dee?
FC: Well, that just upends my personal theology.
TINA’S GROOVE: Josh, It’s even funnier if you assume the chef is talking about his penis. (“Yep I gave Monica the ol’ ‘hot beef injection’ all the time! Unfortunately it’s already turning kinda green, so I hope Monica knows where her local free clinic is!”)
@Little Guy:
#14. PHANTOM:. Is Ian Mollusk inside that rocket? We can only hope.
LUANN: If she’s moved into assisted living, Mrs. Horner will probably not be allowed to continue to teach. So will she invest her time into writing her fascinating bio, or will she take up skydiving?
JP: you went with him a year, took him to meet your parents, yet didn’t bother to ask about or meet Declan’s family? Caveat emptor, young woman.
When Mary Worth keeps calling you “my friend” you better damn well live up to that higher calling. Your obligations to me are many and severe! And never, ever cross me my pretties. Just keep ingesting my special “muffins” with the nice little behavior control ingredients. Yes, you’ll check into Charterstone, but you’ll never leave. Bwah-ha-ha!
@richardf8:
#84. BEETLE B:. I’ve never had pie in France. Don’t they know how good a la mode is?
I was about to make a joke about how Sarge is a true American, defending traditional values threatened by Woke, such as apple pie. But then I realised that these days it’s probably the alt-right that hates apple pie and ice-cream, because sweet things are feminine and they would not fit in the diet of a Spartiate. To sum it up, I wanted to make a joke, but I made myself sad
Frankly if Monica has been eating green, rancid meat meat for some time and she’s eager to receive more (as her tongue on panel one shows), I think the problem is with her
MW: This “burial” at sea should be interesting, as Stellan is kind of a popsicle at this point he’s gonna float for a while. Awkward…
love is… a moon dildo,
Mary has been cleverly disguising her dementia by referring to everyone as “my friend” in a way that they feel complimented rather than mildly confused. Luckily no one has had to think about it much after the recent gas leak.
MW: I am so hoping this boat trip will be like the time Tony Soprano took Big Pussy on an unplanned nautical excursion.
CS: After Mopey sticks it to Artist Guy by telling him how much the artwork recently sold for, he follows up with “AND I’M THE ONE WHO SOLD IT, HAHAHAHAHA!”
MW: Jeff’s never taken his boat out for a burial at sea before? Are you kidding? Who do you think solved Santa Royale’s homeless problem?
MW: In a vain effort to recreate the action in the second panel, I attempted to hold my cell phone in the same manner as Wilbur. It did not go well. Thankfully the phone still works after slipping from my fingertips onto my keyboard. Conclusion: Wilbur is a moron.
@Baja Gaijin: #2
Yup – that perfectly sums up Wilbur’s modus operandi. Act and scheme like a spoiled child to get what you want and damn the consequences.
Technophobe Mary holds her Consumer Cellular phone in a vice grip while Wilbur of the Dating and Delivery Sites holds his caseless phone as if he’s trying to drop it so he can get a free upgrade.
I don’t have anything witty or clever about this, but Wilbur’s fat head and the way he’s curling his dainty fingers around it makes it look like his cell phone is a wrapped stick of gum.
MW: “Jeff’s never taken his boat out for a burial at sea before. You’ve likely heard rumors about Jeff loading his boat with suspiciously heavy rolled carpets before setting sail at odd hours, but the truth is he just really cares about having nice carpeting on his yacht.”
@Bob Tice: #8
MM has let slip some positively scary facial expressions herself…from deep impatience to contempt to fury. Narcissism expert “HG Tudor” (he won’t use his real name) has a series of enlightening videos on YT about Ms. Markle.
Luann – And this is what I love about Ms Horner – She knows that talking to Luann as if she is a three year old is selecting audience appropriate diction.
@Inspector Gotcha: That wasn’t a burial at sea, that was a murder, and Mary’s going to take that to her (presumably watery) grave.
BB: “topping a pie”: I admit I immediately thought of the hilarious “Squat Cobbler” episode from ” Better Call Saul.”
CS: Is it my imagination or does Not Jack Kirby look like he’s de-aged about twenty years since we last saw him? He’s also traded his pushed-in boxer’s nose for a a good start on a Westview potato nose.
BB: Sarge will need that ice cream to over up all of Cookie’s back and armpit hairs that fell into that pie.
@Hibbleton:#45 you got to the ketamine riff before I, so see also “Structural pharmacology and therapeutic potential of 5-methoxytryptamines NATURE 6 June 2024, pp 237-246 (5-MeO-DMT & analogs as rapid acting antidepressant/anxiolytic acting via the serotonin receptor subtype HA1A).
Mary’s hep to the jive, ahead of the curve, whatever. This recent Wilbur arc is so awful I need one of those HA 1A/2A therapeutics. Or it’s a preposterous joke on the basis of the writer getting there first.
FC: It’ll serve Jeffy right it God sends him a lightning bolt instead of a baseball.
@Liam:Tina’s Grooves-Go into a gas station convenience store yesterday and I bought a pint of milk. The milk was two weeks past the expiration date.
Yeah, they’ve all been weaned down at the 7-11.
@jroggs: I was going to express astonishment that none of this made the news, but It’s possible that are intrepid media was so consumed with numerous Spencer/Driver/Parker scandals that they ended up ignoring all the other wealthy criminal assholes out there.
@Hibbleton: #45 — You got to the ketamine riff before I, so see also “Structural pharmacology and therapeutic potential of 5-methoxytryptamines NATURE 6 June 2024, pp 237-246 (5-MeO-DMT & analogs as rapid acting antidepressant/anxiolytic acting via the serotonin receptor subtype HA1A).
Mary’s hep to the jive, ahead of the curve, whatever. This recent Wilbur arc is so awful I need one of those HA 1A/2A therapeutics. Or it’s a preposterous joke on the basis of the writer getting there first.
“So, Jeff, first burial at sea, eh? Cool, cool. Anyway, is that a signed picture of Natalie Wood I just saw in the ship’s cabin?”
@Anonymous: That was Situation Normal, who is screwing things up right now, no surprise in that.
sorry about that
@105 Guillermo el chiclero: De-aging by 20 years is easy for Not Jack Kirby, compared with his previous trick of coming back from the dead.
@Baja Gaijin: Do you have any panels of Dr. Jeff shopping at Home Depot?
Say, in the wash tubs, ropes and cement section?
CS: Forget it, Batty. In your delusions of grandeur, you’ll never be a Banksy, nor will Climate Change Activists smear a copy of “Lisa’s Story” with oil.
BB: Sarge is just going to devour that entire pie, isn’t he?.
DTM: That’s not dirt, Alice.
Pluggers: The caption should just be “Pluggers wear their food.”
@UncleJeff: A big cooler would work. Google Thomas Capano Anne Marie Fahey.
Mary Worth:
Task description: Go to Mary’s apartment
Task trigger event: Perform once on 6/14/24 at 9:00 AM.
Task actions:
Walk to Mary’s apartment.
Ring doorbell.
Say “Hello.”
Eat a muffin.
JP – “Our company” and framing for embezzlement. I can’t wait to see what Ces makes up from one panel to the next to explain that.
FC – God throws the ball back underhand because he knows that Jeffy is a moron.
MW: Mary’s reference to “burial at sea” is curiously nonspecific. I don’t think Wilbur is coming back.
Pluggers: Pluggers are fat and lack basic table manners # 36,849.
BB: Sarge is a plugger.
Off topic but NBA great Jerry “The Logo” West has passed away at age 86. RIP.
BTW: For anybody not in the know West earned that nickname because it’s his silhouette on the NBA logo.
Peanuts – “I can’t LIE, Marcy.”
Pluggers – If you sit around thinking up new ways to be absolutely disgusting, you’re a plugger.
@jvwalt: A WW2 riff borrowed from Admiral Chester Nimitz:
Wilbur: I shouldn’t be alive, but I am!
Nimitz: Delete all after alive.
BB: Panel 3: Cookie goes into his walk-in freezer and pulls out “the ice cream” (a bound and struggling Beetle).
@118 Lord Flatulence: Thank goodness the last instruction is “Eat a muffin” not “Eat Mary’s muffin.”
Pluggers: The smart Plugger-wife buys shirts for her husband in shades of red, maroon, and brown which will hide most food stains.
@Voshkod:
It’s funny because Wilbur is going to meet some Sharks (fingers crossed)
Tina’s Groove: In today’s strip, Tina finds out her boss is some kind of weird sadist who torments his customers by giving them rotting, tapeworm-infested meat. This is humorous to the writer somehow.
Beetle Bailey: This strip is fueling my fan theory that Cookie is a genetically-engineered clone of Sarge with ape DNA added in.
Mary Worth: Jeff is really gonna do this whole yacht trip to let some guy he’s never even met give a goldfish an elaborate burial at sea, all at the behest of a woman who refuses to ever take their relationship any further than eating at the same dockside seafood restaurant over and over? Either my man has a fetish for gold diggers, or he is totally whipped.
@Baja Gaijin: wow, I never realized Mel kept Vera wacky and scatterbrained by feeding her a steady supply of bad meat! Was he also somehow responsible for Flo’s sex drive? l
Mary Worth: This whole thing with Wilbur is a ruse to get Mary to clean his condo.
Mary Worth: I’m sure Dr. Jeff is thrilled at the prospect of burning a hundred bucks’ worth of fuel in his boat in order for Wilbur to give his $2 goldfish a burial at sea.
@Ukulele Ike: Sure, it’s fine dining. Thanks to surprise inspections from the Health Department, they’ve paid numerous fines.
One pie? Cookie makes just one pie and gives it all to Sarge? No wonder the men hate them — take those hikes in the rain & mud, run the obstacle course, fire obsolete and dangerous weapons, put up with abusive noncoms and live in a barracks that hasn’t been updated in 90 years. You’re asking a lot of those men before they even get to the battlefield.
Tina’s Grooves-“How often do you give Monica free beef, Carlos?” “Oh, all the time. Sometimes even twice a night. We are talking about sex right?”
@74 Ukulele Ike:
It’s a fucking comic strip. Anything goes for the convenience of the cartoonist.
@Paul1963: re MW: Hope springs eternal in the human loins. Not often is Dr. Jeff allowed to do a special favor for Mary, and this one involves her pet project, Wilbur. Surely this time there’ll be a tit for tat, so to speak.
@els: As Ed Grimley once said, “My friend, who is not really my friend, but I use that expression as it is commonly used by villains.”
MW: “I’ll ring your DOORBELL in the morning! I should be by sometime after you hear the CHURCH BELL, which usually sounds around the same time the paperboy rings his BICYCLE BELL, unless he sleeps through his ALARM BELL in which case you might hear the SCHOOL BELL.. I think we are too far from the docks to hear Jeff’s SHIP’S BELL, but let’s just shoot for SIX BELLS, okay?
@139 Charterstoned:
excerpt from The Bells by Edgar Allan Poe
MW-Sorry, Wilbur, but you have no chance. Mary won’t even let Jeff ring her doorbell.
BB: Take the all-against-all hostility out of the annals of Camp Swampy and all you have left are puns too weak to live outside of captivity.
MW: Jeff also has a new ejection devices on his boat he wants to test out, but no need to bring that up right now.
TG: Numerous smutty jokes could be made about the “free beef” the chef is giving a fellow employee, but they pale in comparison to the truth that he’s actually giving her—or possibly her dog—food poisoning.
@Dr. Pill: Hey wait, let’s be fair. We don’t know for sure that Cookie won’t be eating half that pie. From Cookie’s expression, I think that’s a real possibility.
@142 Artist formerly known as Ben:
I saw the TG and it took me a moment to realize it was “Tina’s Groove” because the first thing that popped in my mind was “Tits Galore” and that certainly does not describe that comic strip.
MW: Ordinarily I wouldn’t cackle at the thought of someone firing through her condo door at an unknown target, but in this specific context, I am heartily amused. Thanks, MW and Josh.
9CL: So the Overlook Twins have forgotten the age of their “cousin” Alistair as well? It’s like being a freakishly tall Amos substitute gets you no respect at all. Go figure.
C-Shaft: The real Jack Kirby is beyond caring now but if he were actually in this situation he would have already made Mopey Pete eat his own smartphone.
DT: The blonde—Sera Phym? Cherry Bim? Neffy Lim? Whatever—can kind of dig working at a scandal rag with Edwardian Era technology. Her employer’s addiction to sprinkling ellipses throughout his speech is another matter. This meeting is going to take forever.
FC: Someone saw Field of Dreams but didn’t understand it.
MT: This strip used to be about punching evil bearded guys. Now it’s about Cherry’s wanting to go to an epically boring convention and her comedy bulimic boss.
Phantom: Oh damn, he even looks like a sleep-deprived Elon Musk. Hostile takeover of Comics Kingdom in 3…2…
9cl: who is this guy? I admit I’m lost.
@Arabella: #127: Loud Hawaiian shirts are still the best for hiding food and beer vomit stains. That’s why they’re the preferred shirt of drunken fratboy party animals.
@Sequitur: I’m sure that Judge Parker runs as “Tits Galore” in some country or other.
Crank: Interesting. It’s never been entirely clear whether Phil “spending a year dead for tax reasons” Holt was the Ditko or the Kirby to Flash’s Stan Lee. But assuming Batty’s done the research (ha ha), it has to be Jack Kirby. Steve Ditko famously never sold his original art, because then he’d have been paid twice for the same work, and that was against his Objectivist beliefs or something. (Although I understand the story that he used them as chopping boards is questionable.)
Okay, it’s not actually interesting.
FC: There have been occasional suggestions that Billy is picking up some Godless Science from the public school system. Thank heavens that Jeffy is entirely resistant to whatever blasphemy that Newton guy was spouting.
FG: Hey, if anyone was wondering what the Vulture’s been up to since the Spider-Man strip went into endless reruns, now you know.
JP: It’s official: Ces’s grasp of how drama works has reached the point where the villains dispose of themselves before we’ve even heard of them.
@Sequitur:
#137. TG:. As I remember, Carlos sometimes has a dish washer working, and the dishwasher sometimes lends a (clean) hand as a prep cook. I think Rob is the boss and Carlos as “chef” has same rank as women. Carlos might be off parole but he has an “interesting” past.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: It was nearly the title of a Mark Trail Sunday strip, but Ed Dodd got tired of trying to explain to the syndicate “It’s about the family of small songbirds related to the chickadee” and gave up.
TG: I’m excited by revelation that Monica is a ghoul who feasts on decaying flesh, and I hope this signposts a more urban fantasy direction in which every character turns out be supernatural. Tina is a werewolf based on that dog nose, and the other characters, um, exist probably? I’ve never read this comic before.
@Horace Broon: I’d be stunned if Jeffy knew any Newton aside from Fig.
God wouldn’t it be great if the burial at sea in Mary Worth was for Wilbur.
@Kevin on Earth: Phantom: I thought the comics got Judge Parker and the Phantom mixed up.
It’s a common mistake. They’re both drawn by Mike Manley.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Hopefully, the seagulls will crap on Needy’s head. Can you arrange that, Sid?
MW: Yeah, Dr. Jeff wants to help Wilbur with a “burial at sea”…
Only he knows it would be futile as The Sea will only spit Wilbur back up and Dr. Jeff and The Sea have an agreement- he gets to run his sweet, sweet, boat ride across the grey glass without injury or loss, and he continues to placate Mary – a fearsome Elder Gawd – that even The Sea must recognize as a deity not to be meddled with.
The Sea will take the goldfish as a token of respect and Mary-placation. Better that than be lectured ad nauseam about the “goodness” of Mary’s acolyte.
@Sequitur: I feel “It’s a fucking comic strip” is a valid response to a lot of the comments in this blog. Every day.
@49 Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!:
Sid, how about “The Whales of Wolf Down” as they toss Wilbur over the side and the orkas devour him.
@Activist 1234:
TG:. As said, Carlos has a checkered past that we don’t discuss. I am sure at times he’s groveled through trash bins, cutting off the green exterior to find meat that, when cooked properly, sometimes stayed down. When you’re on the lam and desperate, we do things we otherwise wouldn’t have stomached.
@Professor Well Actually: “9cl: who is this guy? I admit I’m lost.”
This is Xiulan and Hugh’s son Alistair. He was two years old last week but has aged to 16 now. He is a piano prodigy.
The Twins have also passed puberty, so Alistair wants to marry them both.
Nobody else in the strip has aged, with the possible exception of Amos, who hasn’t been seen since this arc began.
Note however that Alistair wears the exact same outfit as Amos – Green sports jacket, black slacks, yellow shirt. Alistair is, in fact, identical to Amos except that Amos has no chin while Alistair has a jutting chin.
@Liam: The closest person who can say he has was that Ted guy who was “so handsome” that Mary forgave him for trying to get his hands on her muffins.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: “9CL: So the Overlook Twins have forgotten the age of their “cousin” Alistair as well?”
Yes, its odd that last week we explicitly told the audience that Alistair is a two-year-old piano prodigy. And the next day he became a three year old piano prodigy. Edda and The Twins both participated in his piano practice and thus presumably know how old he is.
But, this week we’ve already spent several days with everyone being uncertain as to how old he is, and with Alistair lying about his age.
But nobody seems to have a problem with him wanting to marry The Twins aka both of them. We’re well into “they speak the same sentences at the same time and walk everywhere together with hands around each other’s waists” stage.
Also, for the entire duration of this arc, Alistair’s mother and father have been nowhere in sight. Recall also that his mother, Xiulan, is a native of Hong Kong, so Alistair is half Asian, not that he is drawn that way….
Ziggy-Ziggy’s original title for his book was ‘My Struggle’.
MW-“And after I ring your doorbell I’ll clean your clocks.”
@jroggs: Looking for plot consistency in Judge Parker is pure folly.
@Sequitur: re Whales of Wolf Down heh heh heh Yeah, nobody expects the Whales!
But I’m afraid getting Leviathans of the Deep would put ’em over budget. They’re already spending a ton on Dr. Jeff’s boat expenses, plus all the Animal Talent we’ve lined up so far. But tell ya what – we could probably get the Dolphins o’ Death to do a Very Special “interactive” number. They seem so docile and sociable… they could probably lure Wilbur to join them in a joyful dance. And they are carnivores, ya know.
@Jeffmcm:
Sadly the sea won’t accept Wilbur that’s why he survived falling off a cruise ship.
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
MW: Jeff also has a new ejection devices on his boat he wants to test out, but no need to bring that up right now.
He’s building a torpedo boat!!?? Awesome!
He’s going to show that smug-ass sailboat crowd at the club a thing or two.
MW-Jeff will give Stella a Viking funeral followed by him filing an insurance claim for the loss of his boat.
The best outcome (and the one that will never happen) would be if Jeff came back from the “funeral” alone, claiming that Mary and Wilbur left ahead of him but they were never seen again.
TG:. Just curious, I checked out the writer of still-trenchant “Tina’s Groove”. After ending that strip she became a starting cartoonist for “Six Chix” and currently cowrites ‘Rhymes with Orange”. All strips I, as a middle-aged woman, can relate to.
@Banana Jr. 6000: recently cleaned…and deloused
Late Thread Cuisine: Is this the real way Stellan met his end?
@Liam: I support this scenario.
If Dr. Jeff has to suffer with an unwanted Wilbur skeeving up his boat, then he is due some compensation, and we all know it won’t be emotional affection from Mary.
@175 Baja Gaijin:
That fish is like, “Get that damned sandwich off of me!”
It’s not dressed up well like this guy.
@Baja Gaijin: I think I’d rather eat the platter that’s served in.
Gearhead Gertie: I hope she slams into the side of a building.
@Baja Gaijin: The edges look like they’re burnt but they’re trying to play it off as “well done.”
@Sequitur: Truly the most respectful place to freeze a goldfish corpse is next to the Phish Food. Santa Royale really wants to be in Vermont rather than SoCal.
Monica is getting prime dry aged beef. For free. She ought to be a very happy camper.
@Baja Gaijin: Thank goodness the last instruction is “Eat a muffin” not “Eat Mary’s muffin.”
Not even your Late Thread Cuisine deserves that.
Tina’s Groove: The back of Monica’s dress is brown because of the runs.
@Calvin’s Cardboard Box: “Also, for the entire duration of this arc, Alistair’s mother and father have been nowhere in sight. Recall, also, that his mother, Xiulan, is a native of Hong Kong, so Alistair is half Asian, not that he is drawn that way….”
Look closely at him – he is drawn in Brooke’s version of Asian characteristics. It’s subtle, but it’s there. The grown up Alistair and both his parents appeared in the June 7 strip, and the characteristics are more obvious there.
I guess Brooke went for subtle because of how he was burned over the Polish Nazi who was really an Allied spy and who used racist epithets story.
Say what you will about today’s Tina’s Groove, but I’m 100% in favor of the comics trope where a hungry person sticks out their tongue slightly to lick their lips when they see food.
@177 Sequitur: The ceramic fish does look put upon.
@178 taig: It’s just a tuna salad sandwich. Hot tuna salad.
@180 Needless Exposition: It’s really whole wheat bread. The alternative, according to the recipe, is pumpernickel. Would that have been better?
@182 Lord Flatulence: SNERK!
@Baja Gaijin: Okay, that makes more sense. I’m so used to retro cuisines swearing by white bread like it’s their Bible.
@Baja Gaijin: Late thread cuisine – What are the yellowish chunks? I like tuna, but that looks unappetizing.
The dish it’s on is just a little too cutesy.
@Sequitur: I assume that what she’s doing has a specific meaning in car racing, but it means nothing to me, and I have no interest in finding out.
I’ve seen that comic only a few times, and it’s one of the most one-note things I’ve ever seen.
@188 Needless Exposition: True.
@189 I speak Jive: Good question. Looking at the recipe, I can’t tell you what it is. Reopen the link–I added the recipe to the card.
on Gearshaft Gertie: Drifting is sliding sideways in your car. On purpose. On dry roads. Tire manufactureres love drifting.
@Baja Gaijin: Re Late thread cuisine – My guess is that the yellowish chunks are tuna after being mixed with parmesan cheese.
I’m not sure how I feel about egg whites mixed into tuna salad. It’s baked at a high temperature, so they would probably be cooked. The egg whites are most likely what causes it to puff in the oven. Still not sure if I would eat that.
@191 I speak Jive: If you don’t like it, give the sandwich to a Plugger wearing his “eating grody egg sandwich” shirt…
@Baja Gaijin: Good call. Dr. Jeff will definitely be picking up the tab at The Bum Boat.
@I speak Jive: #189
Hmm…I only had to read “yellowish chunks” in your comment to know I didn’t even want to look at the picture. For that I thank you!
@Baja Gaijin: #175
OMG…OMG…OMG
@Artist formerly known as Ben: #146
“ FC: Someone saw Field of Dreams but didn’t understand it.”
Jeffy: “Mommy! Daddy! If I build it, he will come!!”
Thel: “Build what, Jeffy?”
Jeffy: “Uh…”
@196 Daisy:
Jeffy: “Uh……… IT!”
@lynn: MW: I truly hope that ‘ring your doorbell in the morning’ isn’t a euphemism
_
Just ring my doorbell in the morning, baby, just touch my wings before you meddle me”-Juice Newton (adapted).
MW: I truly hope that ‘ring your doorbell in the morning’ isn’t a euphemis@MasterMahan: @Voshkod:
It’s funny because Wilbur is going to meet some Sharks (fingers crossed)
_________________
Won’t do any good, they already refused to invest in Willburp’s Porta-Pizza™, a collapsible pizza stand to hide behind while stalking one’s ex and her current guy.
@Legend of the Arctic: Agreed. It’s even better when the person also rubs their stomach.
Gotta give props to the “Tina’s Groove” artist: They are really rocking the Linda Lavin characture, excellent work, the other actors not so much.
@193 Lord Flatulence: Damned skippy!
@195 Daisy: Jive warned you; you have only yourself to blame for looking at the Late Thread Monstrosity.
@197 Sequitur: EEEEE!!! [QLUNQ!]
@201 Baja Gaijin:
Not THAT It.
@Sequitur: That is a very good possibility. Rina Piccolo has a lot to answer for.
@Legend of the Arctic: I noticed and enjoyed that, too. Especially because Carlos is not handing over a beautifully marbled rib steak or some gleaming short ribs, but a lump of meat in a bag.
@Sequitur:
Jeffy: “Uh……… IT!”
_________________
“….’s Monty…..Python’s Fly….ing Circus….”
Giant foot squishes Jeffy BARRRRRRRAPPPP!
(Dedicated to the memory of John Cleese.)
@204 Garrison Skunk:
I do believe John Cleese is still alive.
@Activist 1234: After ending that strip she became a starting cartoonist for “Six Chix”
_______
“Starting Cartoonist”, is that the official job title given to someone King Features hires to print rough draft sketches done on cocktail napkins without punchlines as final comics?
@198 Garrison Skunk: Is this the Porta Pizza you imagined?
@Garrison Skunk: @Sequitur: Dedicate it to Terry Jones, then. Least appreciated of the big five, he was goddamn genius funny in everything.
See 1996’s The Wind in the Willows, in which Jones plays Mr. Toad (and Eric Idle is the Water Rat). Huge fun.
@Sequitur:
@204 Garrison Skunk:
I do believe John Cleese is still alive.
_____________
No he’s not, you jostled his coffin, and glued him to his silk perch! This is an Ex-Python!
@207 Baja Gaijin:
Meanwhile, this sneaks up on Wilbur…
Mutt & Jeff: If I had a nickel for everytime that’s happened!
// My name’s Etrinkonutzumn too!
@207 Baja Gaijin:
And wildlife know he’s there and keeps an eye on him.
@Baja Gaijin: pretty much.
@210 Sequitur: Is it going to jump up and pinch his Wee Wilbur? Hoping so.
@211 Nehemiah Scudder, banging about: Long time, no see! I thought about you over the weekend, hoping you’d pop in soon.
@212 Sequitur: Oh puleez. When a deer sees Wilbur, it literally hightails it away as fast as it can even if it means running through traffic and getting run down by a truck. They’re not stupid, unlike certain two-leggers.
@213 Garrison Skunk: I like how Wilbur brought his own camouflage leaves.
TG: All this talk of tainted meat, just remember the words of the late Nipsey Russell, “If you fry it in hog fat long enough it’s safe to eat.”
@Baja Gaijin: I could a tale unfold, yada yada fretful porpentine, but glad to see the old crew gibbering away!
@211 Nehemiah Scudder, banging about:
Welcome back. Etrinkonutzumn is my television name but it’s Dr. Etrinkonutzumn.
@217 Neh. Scudder: Yeah, those fretful porpentines, ya gotta watch out for the quills.
@Sequitur: “Dr. Etrinkonutzumn” — that was Albert Camus’ nom de stripper, too.
// He was French, you know.
@220 Fie, Scudder, fie!:
French-ish.
@allangary:
I WEEP. June Brigman is a veteran illustrator and artist and this is what she ends up drawing. It’s like the very strip sucks the soul of anyone who touches it – Brigman’s recent “classic” series from Marvel about the children superheroes she co-created had zero life of the original, just the tired eyes and impassible masks of Mary Worth. I WEEP.
MW: Those muffins need buried at sea. They’ve been sitting in Mary’s apartment since 1997.
@Sequitur: I think deer around here have a lot of nerve, but at least they don’t have THAT much nerve. Thanks for the reminder.
@Neh. Scudder: I am totally going to steal those first nine words.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: I certainly understand that you and your clients face various serious logistical challenges, Sid, but it really does my heart good to know that if it were possible, you would do to Wilbur what many of us want done to Wilbur.
@JustSomeGuy: Will the muffins sink or float? If they float they be witches and must be burned at the stake.
CRANKSHAFT: If this comic-book nattering doesn’t end soon, I shall drop the strip. For me, this is worse than Les Moore.