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Mary Worth, 7/7/24

For months now, I’ve been pretty disappointed that what I thought was going to be an incredible story about Dawn attempting to bond with the mother that rejected her actually ended up being a story about how Wilbur was utterly wrecked emotionally by the death of his goldfish. But I have to admit that it’s very funny, after weeks of watching Wilbur get emotionally wrecked by the death of his goldfish only to finally admit that he was mostly just bummed about his ex-girlfriend, to see Dawn reappear and say “Hey, remember when my mother pushed me out of her life, one of the more traumatizing things a young person can go through, only to call me up a few weeks ago in an attempt to emotionally reconnect? Well, it turns out she thinks I’m boring and lame and has pushed me out of her life again. Ha ha! So, what’s been up with you, dad? Anything happen to you on that level of trauma?” This whole dinner he’s going to be saying to himself “Don’t mention the fish … don’t mention the fish … don’t mention fish” and then as soon as there’s a moment of silence to fill he’ll blurt out “So the fish died and I stopped showering for like two weeks.”

Hi and Lois, 7/7/24

Meanwhile, here’s some successful fatherhood from Hi and Lois! Hi has turned his back on his job to enrich the lives of one of his children. What do you suppose happened to the other three? Did they decide their lives were sufficiently enriched and that they’d rather their dad worked hard so he could get a promotion and buy them more stuff instead? Or have they simply left town with their mother, never to return, leaving the two duds in the family behind?