The menace and the menaced
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Dennis the Menace, 9/26/24
Here, in no particular order, is a list of possible menacing reasons why Dennis is wearing street clothes in this exchange when you’d expect him to be in a baseball uniform, some mutually exclusive and some not:
- Dennis has a general policy of refusing to wear a uniform while playing baseball due to the oppositional defiance disorder that his parents and coaches have never been able to overcome.
- Dennis has a general policy of refusing to wear a uniform while playing baseball because he understands that red overalls over a striped shirt are his #brand, which he is very keen to maintain and promote.
- Dennis isn’t even playing baseball today; he’s just wandered onto the field to harass the umpire.
- The creators of Dennis the Menace are not confident in their ability to draw the title character of their comic strip in a way that would be recognizable to the readers if he weren’t wearing his trademark red overalls over a striped shirt.
- The creators of Dennis the Menace do not have access to clip art of the title character of their comic strip in which he is not wearing his trademark red overalls over a striped shirt.
The Phantom, 9/26/24
A fun thing about the Phantom is that he dates from the very earliest days of superhero comics, so his outfit is your basic weird skintight body suit and cowl but, when it comes to a fight, his main “power” is the pair of pistols he keeps handy most of the time. Anyway, today the big purple guy has caught up with one of the out-of-control robots unleashed by fake Elon Musk’s crashed rocket, and he’s just going to straight-up shoot it to death, with bullets. Probably it’s not going to work and he’ll need to do something more clever, but it would be pretty funny if it did, right? “Well, Hero, Devil,” he’ll say to his faithful animal companions, “that problem is solved. Thank God for guns, the best friend a superhero can have!”
168 replies to “The menace and the menaced”
DtM: Menace levels have increased to “parent living vicariously through their child” levels.
MW: Are we supposed to feel any sympathy for Estelle here? This bitch took Wilbur back three times and he did a hell of a lot worse than not show up to places. If anything, Libby and Pierre should get all the sympathy for having to deal with this self centered pity party.
“Is that a gun in your tights, or are you just glad to see me?”
Phantom:
Well, Phantom is a total BLAM BLAM — just like Bowie sang about in “Suffragette City.”
MW:
Whoa! Estelle called Ed an S.O.B. in the second panel? — I’m surprised that got by the censors!
Phantom:
“Devil! — go get a recording of Peter and Gordon’s ‘I Go to Pieces’ so we can have a little mood music here!”
MW: Rolling their three eyes at the extended pity party, Libby and Pierre regret their lack of opposable thumbs, a deficit that prevents them from playing the world’s smallest violin, just for Estelle.
MW: Here I thought we’d have a full week of Estelle crying in her car, followed by a week of her crying in bed, a la Toby in the SCHOOL MANAGEMENT arc. Careful, Moy, you can’t move too fast with this thrilling plot or the audience might experience excitement.
Phantom : the robot is going to “survive” being shot, and use its adaptational abilities to transform into yet another deadlier form. If you thought the “Mozz’s prophecy of How the Phantom freed Savarna, and DOOMED HIMSELF” storyline was an endless repetitive monotony, well, it looks like the strip just fell into a “THIS ISN’T EVEN MY *TRUE* FINAL FORM” loop (à la DBZ).
DtM: Wandering onto the field to harass was my first thought. Probably to deliver some embarrassing personal fact about the ump that he overheard at home.
MW: We’re begging you, Mary, MEDDLE NOW. Bring store-bought muffins if you have to, but please, just make the whining stop!
DtM I like the dense grey fog that seems to be surrounding home plate, as if they’re playing on the highland moors. Should I have been reading this while strip in a thick Scottish brogue the whole time? Damn, now I can stop thinking about Sean Connery saying “Dennish the Mennish”
Ph: I get the sense that the original elevator pitch for this strip was “Lone Ranger but in the jungle”
DtM Hidden in the shadows of the big-time (Gil Thorp and the Mudlarks); Milford’s tee-ball league has been secretly riddled with game fixing and crooked umpires.
Thanks to Dennis, that ends today.
DtM: Good thing this
mailmanumpire brought his brush to thisfront yardbaseball diamond, now he can bend over andpick up the mail he droppedkeep all the non-existent dirt off home plate, at least until the field is consumed by the approaching wall of dust and smoke.DT: Honestly, I never expected to get an explanation for the magic frisbee Ro-Zan pulled out of his ass that does… something to the security cameras that hides his presence, but not in a way that motivates the security guard watching them to investigate, but only if the “timing” is “just right.” But now we’re on to key plot stuff where it turns out “we” have been “tricked” about the space coupe upgrades, and it’s like Eric Costello never left. The whos, whats, whens, wheres, whys, and hows of this entire story are a total mess and it all just keeps piling up.
FC: “From now on, call me Mulva.”
H&L: Ditto has a bright future ahead of him as the Chicago Bears general manager.
CS: Just a reminder, but that inexplicably hostile man leaning forward and snarling furiously in the face of the timid woman who is trying to help him learn to read? He’s the hero of this series. He’s funny and endearing. You like him. Not the blonde woman, though. She probably makes bad coffee or something, so to hell with her.
DtM: Forget Dennis, I want to know more about why this umpire is choosing to brush off home plate in a way that shows off his ass to the pitcher.
DtM: Uniform? They couldn’t even bother to draw a batters box, batting cage, stands, spectators, catcher…. It looks more like a predator who visits the local park in an umpire’s uniform and draws in curious little boys as he pretends to clean his portable home plate.
DtM – Better question: why is the ump dusting off home plate when it’s surrounded by grass?
Speaking of DtM’s #brand, I found this on Wikipedia:
“Dennis the Menace appeared in Dairy Queen marketing from 1971 until December 2002, when he was dropped because Dairy Queen felt children could no longer relate to him.”
BURN!
I didn’t recognize the beautifully drawn umpire’s uniform, and just assumed Dennis was just haranguing the local mailman with demented conspiracy theories. Mr Wilson used to be a USPS employee, and I’m sure he’s filled Dennis’s head with all kinds of dark murmurings about how he never got promoted because the Post Office is full of Commies and Freemasons.
FC: Thel interrupts; “But Kil’ E. Keene is pretty good. Now go work on your rap lyrics.”
GT – “Why should I turn around? “Cuz every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming ’round.”
@pugfuggly: Phantom: You forgot “Lone Ranger but in the jungle (in purple underwear)”
@nescio: That’s one detail that they got right. Traditionally, the umpire never turns his back to the fans in the stands when he dusts off home plate.
DtM: So, yeah, restating the obvious: why is a home plate in the middle of a field of grass, rather than surrounded by dirt that, you know, a home plate umpire might have to dust off? New neighbor a retired ump trying to relive his glory days?
Blondie: I was going to scoff at Blondie’s word game; but a three by three crossword with no black squares, looks pretty tough.
Dennis the Menace: I have to say, as a chaos agent, Dennis is far from William S. Burroughs’ ideal of “burn the books, kill the priests.” On the other hand, I can totally see him as a shape-shifting time traveler setting out to confront Mayan priests controlling their populations through the rubber ball game. There’s gotta be some clip art for that, right?
@Hibbleton: Pretty sure it’s supposed to be sudoku.
DtM: The real menace is the lack of base paths. Some kid is going to trip and break his neck!
Phantom: Water is its worst enemy, Phantom! Get out your Super Soakers!
DtM – The front part of home plate is too long. My thought was that Dennis wandered through a time warp and is in a period when the Mayans were developing the game. I’d like to see how the bases look.
MW: “You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with human problems.” “The fuck we don’t. You get like this, and you forget to feed me!” “My litter box hasn’t been cleaned in three days, lady!”
Zits: A shot of Connie’s leg we didn’t need to see.
FC: “How about ‘Shitty?’ That doesn’t rhyme with anything silly. Oh…’titty.’ Never mind.”
Frazz: Nice try, Frazz, but you helped create this monster!
Luann: Teeheehee! Les calls his thingy, “Moose?!?” Teeheehee!
CS: Crankshaft angrily struck down a score of mailboxes that day. There may have been kids. He couldn’t tell through the blood haze.
MW: EVERYONE — “Mary meddles too much and her advice is just awful. I wish this would happen less!”
**monkey’s paw curls**
CS: Not only does Crankshaft not appreciate the help he’s getting, he’s seething mad about it. Feed his despicable ass to the lions. That’s what the Romans did.
MW: It’s going to be interesting to see how Ed worms his way back into Estelle’s good graces. Maybe he’ll surreptitiously poison her pets and then heroically save them.
Frazz: Yeah, let’s harass Mrs. Olsen, who is the only decent person in this entire strip.
You can’t tell because of the lazy background work, but Dennis is clearly at a stadium where games are so sparsely attended that a child can just wander onto the field. This is some major league menacing.
@Tabby Lavalamp: So it’s a White Sox game?
The Phantom uses guns because he actually doesn’t have superpowers, unlike the “no, he’s totally just a highly trained normal human with gadgets” BS that Batman likes to peddle.
@Rube: I have no idea. I don’t follow sports at all but I’ve seen clips of some MLB games showing the attendance that makes me even more baffled at the money involved.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I’m so thrilled to be in Hollywood!”
“All these hot babes, and some of them are famous…”
“I’m seeing stars already!”
@13 nescio: Dennis blundered into filming the intro to the long awaited “Hot Ump Asses Volume 5,” sequel to “Hot Ump Asses Volume 4” that Grindr gave four erect penises up.
Zits: I now see why Walt isn’t a miserable SOB like Ed Kudlick: his wife Connie is as flexible in bed as a politician’s promise.
Phantom: Where exactly does The Ghost Who Doesn’t Walk Funny stow those handguns when they’re not in use? My guess is Devil’s rectum.
The Phantom: The second panel here seems like an excuse by the artist to draw the word “BLAM!” over and over and I like to think this was being done while “Black Betty” by Ram Jam played in the background. I also like to think The Phantom is just going to start singing that too, using his guns as percussion.
MW: The inevitable conclusion now is Mary advising Estelle to sublimate his wishes to her husband, as man is to lead the marriage. That is canon in the Moyverse.
DtM – I vote for “Dennis isn’t even playing baseball today; he’s just wandered onto the field to harass the umpire” as that one has the highest menacing level.
Dustin: Panel One: Ed seems to be….fingering his tongue. I’m surprised they let him out of the house, let alone go to a law office every day.
DT: A mighty intellect like Ro-Zan’s, tricked? Unpossible!
FG: There he goes again, lumbering into things better left alone, disrupting the local economy, angering and bloodying the common tradespeople. Like he thinks he’s Batman or something.
MW: the only solution is friends with benefits.
Look, obviously, I’m hooked on the strip, but a leaping robot a few inches away from a horse’s back getting blown backwards by a handful of bullets is a crime against both physics and suspension of disbelief. Also, Phantom is overlooking the real threat here. The robot dog has cameras for eyes and can potentially relay the images to Pseudo-Elon. So much for a hidden lair and puffing up a guy in leotards into a legend.
6Chx: What the fuck is this supposed to be? Here, Mary, let me help.
Nobody rides for free.
Leaves of Gas,
Leaves of Ass,
Leaves of….
I noticed the Seattles Times comics all got shifted around this week, but only today realized that Legend of Bill was added, which is very good news indeed. I see that Mara Llave, Keeper of Time made it to the Jet City also, but I no longer care a fig about Mara Llave, Keeper of Time.
RMMD: Today’s illustrated Wikipedia entry is brought to you by IcyHot.
Listen to June: “If your trigger finger is all but shot, get some relief with IcyHot!”
Legend of Bill: To explicate, this comic strip is a Sword and Sorcery thing, but Daffy.
Bill the Barbarian has somehow gotten hold of a “magical thinger” that works like the Tarnhelm in the Ring des Nibelungen. If you scroll back to the September 9 entry you can seem him testing it out over the four panels by delightedly turning himself into 1) Alice the Goon; 2) Prince Valiant; 3) Hagar the Horrible; and 4) some guy from the Asterix series, I guess.
This is the kind of old-fashioned screwball comics humor that is just my dish.
MW-“It’s supposed to be all about me.”
Dennis the Menace-“Kid, I’m supposed to be the starting pitcher on a major league baseball but due to a prank some of my teammates pulled on me because I can’t read means that I’m stuck here having to deal with kids like you.”
Dennis the Menace-“I work for whatever team pays me the most.”
Between Friends: The 2 week getaway wasn’t a dream sequence?
Chix (sic):
Leaves of Red…Leaves of Yellow…Leaves of Orange…. O Captain! my Captain!The Family Circus Spanish to English.
The Ghost Who Brings a Gun to a Drone Fight — Pistols are way too impersonal. Shouldn’t our hero be punching not Elbezos’s robot with his ring hand to brand it with the Skull Mark?
DtM — Dennis knows that in End Times, everyone will need to pick one side or the other! Menace level: Apocalyptic.
Dennis the Menace: What exactly is Dennis doing with his hands in this cartoon? It really doesn’t look like a natural stance for someone who’s just talking. Maybe he realizes what he’s saying to this adult is completely unfunny, but he still expects his sycophantic friend Joey to come by and give him a double low-five, as if to say, “You really told him, boss!”
Mary Worth:
–Estelle: “Sob! Ed doesn’t seem to care about our wedding… or about me!”
–Libby: “Meow… (Oh, boo-hoo, so Ed missed your dinner to take care of some animals? I love that guy!)”
–Pierre: “Woof… (Yep, that dude totally rocks! Now stop crying, lady, and get us some damn treats!)”
Pluggers: Pluggers are gross. How gross are they? They’re so gross that they’ll do something gross, and then write a national comic to tell the world about it! (Gross.)
“I know what you’re thinking: ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’ Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being this is a pair of semi-automatic pistols with eleven round clips, I’ve probably got at least 15 shots left. So you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do you, robot? Hey, dog, horse, don’t look at me that way. It’s a good movie, and I’ve got at least 15 shots left.”
@Blinky the Wonder Wombat: The “sweeping” is sometimes used by the umpire to calm down a heated player and, the other night, to prolong the celebration of Shohei Ohtani after his 50th home run without running into the new pitch clock rules.
love is... biological experiments in gene splicing.
Dennis the Menace – Dennis is starting a gambling operation and is looking for corruptible umpires to rig games in his favor.
The Phantom – Given that real Elon Musk cannot even waterproof a Cybertruck, I am not surprised that fake Elon in this strip didn’t account for bullets, the most common weapon in any arsenal
DtM: No, Dennis, you were right asking this stranger “Whose team are you on?” Depending on the answer, you could then follow it up with “So, are you a ‘pitcher’ or a ‘catcher’?” But be warned: just because you ask them who they’re working for doesn’t mean they have to tell you they’re a cop.
@MKay: #9
I totally hope to see Estelle fall into a disheveled heap, her pets starving from neglect, her apartment cluttered with trash and smelling strongly of animal excrement, sobbing and snorfling in her bathrobe when Mary comes over and, when muffins don’t do the trick, slams her hand on Estelle’s coffee table in an attempt to shock her into rational behavior. That sure worked for Wilbur, didn’t it…
MW: Just then, Stell’s phone buzzes…it’s Arthur/Arther asking for more money…
@Little Blue Bicycle: Mary’s enforced the 1950s ethics, morals, and lifestyle in Charterstone which explains why everyone is a bunch of white people in SoCal who never work and somehow can afford condos with either single incomes or on retirement savings.
@Rube: #33
Ohhh…BURN!!!! (written by a Cubs fan…)
DtM – Making baseball great again!
Phantom – Don’t follow the strip, but it looks like some kind of giant mechanical cricket. Try getting to sleep with that thing chirping for a mate….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@63 Daisy:
I think Rube was referring to the fact that the White Sox are about to have the most losses ever in a Major League Baseball season.
Dustin—What’s up with Dustin Dad this week? He looks like his head got stuck in a pencil sharpener. New artist? The guy who did Spy Vs. Spy? Dustin and his bozo friend look “normal”.
@Unca Bob: Apparently these are really old strips, like from around 2010. Somebody here figured it out earlier in the week.
The Phantom: Phantom’s horse and dog are totally carrying him in this fight.
@67 Rube:
Yes. If you check the copyright on the comic it is 2010. That’s the year the strip came out.
@Unca Bob: that head don’t look right.
FC – Tell that to Bart Simpson.
Mary Worth – There’s only one way to handle this. Ask a friend to deliver this note to Dr. Ed:
Do you like me? Check one:
___ Yes
___ No
On second thought, considering Estelle’s behavior, that might be too mature for her.
Rex Morgan – Let’s spend a week talking about getting ice cubes out of the freezer to put on that finger.
Whatever he does, don’t take the eggs out of the refrigerator.
Far Side – Sheila Roo, the younger years.
Crankshaft – Breaking news! A fleet of ambulances are arriving at a meeting of the Pulitzer committee to transport all members to emergency treatment. Initial reports indicate that all members were injured when, while reviewing a nomination from Ohio, they rolled their eyes so far back in their heads that the eye muscles froze.
Frazz – I do have to give Frazz credit for his snarky advice, even though the insufferable little genius saw through it.
@70 Professor Well Actually:
See @69 Sequitur:
The Phantom: Years back there was this cartoon, about Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordon and Bo Jackson as secret agents.
It was pretty hokey, and before they go on a mission they would get spy equipment such as “Sonic Baseball Bats” and “Laser Hockey Sticks”
One reviewer stated “How about just giving them guns? Just saying.”
MW: I don’t keep up with this site like I used to, so maybe I’m repeating what has already been said, but I’m going to have to stand up for Estelle a little bit on this story. Wedding-adjacent events are important, and Ed has to have some kind of backup or referral system set up for his practice for when he’s unavailable. Is he never allowed to go out of town for any reason?
I still remember with regret that the morning our second child was born, I found it imperative to go in to the office to take part in some meeting involving an important customer. I did arrive at the delivery room well before our daughter made her debut, but it still rankled with my wife, and even at the time I felt bad about it, and it hasn’t gotten better with the passage of years. Babies don’t arrive on a set schedule, and one just has to make arrangements at work when the delivery date is within a week or so. The irony of course is that in telling this anecdote, I can’t even remember the name of this “important” customer, whereas my daughter and wife are as important to me as anything in the world.
Priorities, Dr Ed, priorities! This dinner wasn’t some bridezilla whim, it was one of a short list of events that you needed to commit to 100%. A sick puppy is important to you, but not to everyone else you stood up, and if this is how you treat Estelle now, she is wise to understand that it WILL NOT get better after the honeymoon phase is over.
The Phantom: I also can’t remember where I read this scene, but today’s Phantom vaguely reminds me of a giant monster who died, and the person was saying “Our greatest weapons were no match for it, but in the end, it was a sharpened stick that did the monster in.”
(As I was typing, I just remembered… it was the anti-human propaganda film on the robot planet, in Futurama)
Dog Eat Doug: Sometimes it is the dog.
MW: Speaking in general, my reaction to whenever a new Wilbur arc comes up, is like how I don’t look forward to a root canal. Yet root canals are at least something to make one feel better in the end. OH MY GOD WILBUR IS LITERALLY WORSE THAN ENDURING A ROOT CANAL!
@Sequitur: THAT DOG IS ADORABLE!!!
GT — So, these two dudes are talking about Gil’s love life in the middle of a game?
@Weaselboy:
What the effing crap?
That angel guy just felt me up!
(Look up “Literal Version, Bonnie Tyler” on YouTube if you have no clue what I’m talking about.)
CURTIS:. Big bro can manipulate as well as Barry!
Helen (BF) loves gossip as much as Tiff (LUANN)
Ziggy: Fat mother-in-law joke #310,425.
@Just John: The problem with this entire story is that Dr. Ed’s problem with working so much was previously resolved but Moy is hardly trying to cause any sort of serious stakes or drama. Like I said earlier, Estelle is quick to throw in the towel despite having taken Wilbur back three times for abusing her cat, gaslighting her with Mary’s help, humiliating her in public repeatedly, and even making her think that he was dead.
Meanwhile, Ed gave Estelle a tentative promise to try and make it to the bakery despite it being on a weekday during work hours and then when things went wrong during the emergency, he had to cancel the dinner. He would have been miserable if he showed up at the dinner after losing all those puppies (and possibly the mother) which would tank the mood for everyone but Estelle.
Hi and Lois-Hi tells Ditto how he scored four touchdowns in a single game.
@Needless Exposition: wait wait wait. This is on a weekday??? I thought it was a saturday?
@Just John:
That is true about babies having no set schedule. My sister was born at home and delivered by my father.
@LTJpezcore1: It never specifically stated when Estelle went to the bakery (or my reading comprehension is just bad) but it was a Saturday strip. Comic book time is pretty wonky because Estelle’s been in her pity party since Monday and it’s currently Thursday but she’s still in her Sunday night clothes.
@Needless Exposition: I must have just assumed it was Sat because of that. Not really a mention of the day you’re right….
@Rube: We really are an insightful and brilliant bunch. Imagine if we turned our collective brainpower over to peace in the Middle East, or the problem of the perpetual motion machine.
@LTJpezcore1: It was pretty much her expecting Ed to drop everything in the middle of the day during work hours to feed her cake because she was jealous of seeing a younger couple doing the same. She could have easily asked the bakery to take home some samples so that Ed could try them but that thought never crossed her mind.
@Needless Exposition: That dress really is kind of….young for her. The muumuu would have done a better job of concealing her varicose veins.
@Needless Exposition: Like I said earlier, Estelle is quick to throw in the towel despite having taken Wilbur back three times for abusing her cat, gaslighting her with Mary’s help, humiliating her in public repeatedly, and even making her think that he was dead.
Maybe Estelle is learning. In many novels, the protagonist shows growth such as this by the end of the tale.
This wasn’t intended as a defense of Estelle per se. She’s unsuitable too, at least for my own tastes; I would never know which little soaps or towels in the bathroom I was allowed to use.
But this is the right moment for her to break off the engagement and tell him exactly why: in Ed’s own eyes he’s super-reliable (to his clients, none of whom will attend his funeral when the times comes), but in truth he is not. She’s not being some kind of shrew if she does this.
Am I the only one wondering what that little rectangle object under Dennis’s chin is supposed to be?
I once read the book that Hank Ketcham wrote about his comic Dennis the Menace and he straight out admits that Dennis’s overalls make it look like he’s just defecated in his pants. So maybe the real underlying point of Dennis is that he is an elementary schooler who is wearing overalls to conceal that he regularly poops himself? It would certainly explain a lot.
@Just John: Estelle is mainly coming across as hypocritical and even self centered. She’s been established as someone who loves animals and is happily volunteering to be around the animals in Ed’s clinic. The news about the emergency going tragic should not have made her angry; if anything, she would be sad about the loss and likely given Ed a call to see how he was doing. Instead she turned the situation around to focus it on “Ed stood me up and now he doesn’t love me.” I would be upset if my husband wasn’t able to make it to an outing but I wouldn’t think that he didn’t love me anymore.
@Jeff: That’s MARVIN levels of menacing!
CS: So Ed vowed to learn to read in his early 20s but he’s still at the see Spot run stage in his 70s?
FG: So in one week Flash has:
Saved Empress Aura.
Went after Dale’s kidnappers.
Snuck into the worst part of Mongo City.
Mopped the floor with two loan sharks.
Single-handedly busted up an underworld dive bar.
Meanwhile, in the same time over in the other strips:
Estelle is wallowing in her pity party.
Truck has checked into the doctor’s and is getting his finger looked at.
Neddy is kvetching over meeting Declan’s parents.
Ro-Zan is rummaging through a file cabinet.
God knows what they’re babbling about in Gil Thorp.
DT: I’ve been tricked! Oooooohhh, not only am I going to kill all Terrans but I’m going to eat their pets!
MW: I hope Estelle removed her hose before she let Pierre paw at her legs like that.
@Guillermo el chiclero: First those stupid dead puppies had to ruin being able to make Pam jealous of her and now Pierre goes and ruins her pantyhose. A true animal lover right there.
@Sequitur: So it’s been established that these characters have been assholes from the very beginning.
@100 Rube:
Yup.
@97 Guillermo el chiclero: Mr. Crankshaft is, how to say, maximo stupido en su cabeza, if I can butcher the Spanish language, because of his terribly obsessively misogny, misandry, and assholiness.
@97 Guillermo el chiclero:
Ed didn’t actually learn to read until he was already employed as a bus driver. You’ll see that tomorrow.
@Just John: I’m with you on this. Yes, Estelle is being a needy twerp, but Ed needs to clear his vet schedule for engagement dinners he agreed to attend. Estelle isn’t wrong for being hurt by this, or seeing it as a red flag. It sounds like he’s avoiding her.
@Just John: For the record, I thought that Estelle was okay compared to the rest of Charterstone’s finest if only a bit one note. The little character that she has is rapidly going down the toilet with this story and it’s pretty irritating that Moy is going down this route as if people are going to forget that everything happened. Like I said yesterday, people still remember events that happened: Aldo’s death, Ian raging about a senile old woman, Madi’s grief being compared to a dog finding a home, creepy Olive and her sex obsessed parents, Keith forcing a man to leave the country lest he be discovered as a fake vegan, Jeff crying at the sight of Mary’s pussy(cat), and every single antic Wilbur has done.
@Tabby Lavalamp: Dennis is clearly at a stadium where games are so sparsely attended that a child can just wander onto the field.
So…any baseball game that doesn’t involve the Cubs, Red Sox, or Savannah Bananas?
The month-long conflict in Mary Worth could be resolved in five minutes. “Estelle, I need you to dial back your wedding specifications a little.” “Ed, I need you to attend the dinners you agreed to attend.” The end. But no, they’re just going to passive-aggressive at each other until she’s back in the arms of someone far worse.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Oh God, yes. They unsolved a resolved problem regarding Ed’s work schedule so he’s back to working himself stupid, Estelle is acting like she needs a huge expensive wedding done in a week despite having little to no friends (no, Mary and Pam and Wilbur don’t count), and they’re both idiots who don’t even bother with properly communicating with each other.
AC: Eccles cake being tasty and good value is “nonsense”, is it, Jack? Shots fired! If only there was a Lancastrian comic strip to retaliate by dissing, um, being so stupid you execute a monkey because you think it’s a French spy. (No, really, that’s what Hartlepool is famous for. Explains a lot, doesn’t it?)
DT: I googled if “Ray-Lene” was anything and, goodness me, glad I had safe-search on…
JP: Sorry, I refuse to believe anyone can talk to Neddy on the phone and not come away knowing for absolute certain that she’s the WASPiest of all WASPs. (Also, I guess Declan’s mom didn’t watch Honestly, Miss, The Bigger Kids in the CIA Did It and Then Ran Away: The April Bower Story. But then, who did?)
@Sequitur: #65
Yeah…I honestly feel sorry for the team. When hubby and I watched the last game and saw four Sox outfielders headed for a collision course to catch the ball and none of them caught it, I laughed, and then felt bad for laughing. :-(
@Dennis Jimenez: #64
and I thought this year’s cicada superbrood emergence was a science experiment gone horribly awry…if we can’t even build a mechanical cricket, how on earth are we going to colonize the moon???
MW: If all of this drives Estelle back into the embrace of Wilbur’s hairy gorilla arms at least she can take consolation in the fact that Wilbur will gladly accompany her on a pub crawl through every bakery in town. No way he’s going to turn down the opportunity to stuff his face with free samples of cake.
@Guillermo el chiclero: The only casualty will be Libby and Pierre who probably will get dumped on Ed because God forbid someone else has Estelle’s attention for more than four seconds.
MW: Okay, I’ve gone back and looked at the last week of strips to try and get the chronology straight, and I have to admit, I’ve now moved from being tentatively on Team Ed to being firmly on Team Oh My God What’s Wrong With Both These People? Like, I hadn’t remembered this was a Sunday and Estelle actually did think Ed wasn’t going to be working at all, which changes her reaction to “Sorry, vet emergency” considerably. At the same time, that seems like something she should have checked, given that she was already concerned about his workaholic tendencies because Dr Shelia had just told her she should be. But heaven forbid
either of these charactersanybody in this strip actually talks about their problems prior to unloading to Mary (and that’s only because those muffins are loaded with sodium pentathol!)@Anonymous:
#8. PHANTOM:. Yep, the Avarice robot is programmed to learn from it’s environment. After meditating a minute from it’s defeat, it will reform itself into a human with two guns and a puce leotard
BETTY:. While I do notice and secretly smile at a good looking man, I then avert my eyes. Are men and other women able to NOT ogle?
DtM: Dennis has this weird pose where his hands are on his hips but all the fingers are extended back. It’s new to me but maybe it’s a recognized gesture for “I suspect this umpire of being corrupt.”
Phantom: The below-the-knee part of one of Avarice’s forelimbs has flown off and moved to the opposite side of the body, but looks to be fully intact. I don’t know how likely this is in real world physics. It feels like at the very least the Phantom should get extra points for it.
@Horace Broon: Team Libby, Odin, and Pierre because they’re clearly more intelligent than those meat puppets and far more interesting and empathetic.
MW: I’m surprised at the number of mudges having such serious and strong opinions about Mary Worth’s story. If this ends up winning Moy a Pulitzer, Tom Batiuk is gonna be pissed.
@Horace Broon: I figured “Eccles cake” was just a product of a randomly-named bakery. Thanks for pointing to the road to enlightenment; now I am versed in the variations of Eccles cake, Chorley cake, and Blackburn cake.
All of which are filled with fruit considered palatable only to citizens of the UK, and maybe Free Ireland, namely stewed apples and currants. I’ll take a Melton Mowbray pork pie and a pint of stout instead, please.
Luann: Watch, if we ever even do learn what Les said to Punk it will be weird, yet boring, plot wise. “I have a crush on a lesbian again, Punk. But maybe if I buy her dinner she’ll switch teams. Kablam! Take that, Grand Theft Auto NPCs!” Ugh. I feel there’s a possibility we’ll never learn what he said anyway.
Here’s my Team LOP endorsement.
@Needless Exposition: And my link doesn’t work. Damn it.
Here, try this.
9CL: I have no idea what Lolly is supposed to have lied about and I’m good with that.
C-Shaft: As noted, Crankshaft decided to learn to read on the Mudhens and 30-40 years later finally got around to doing it. If this involved orgies and feeding Christians to lions may it mercifully stay off-panel.
DT: “These alleged upgrades will do nothing but make me pay extra for rustproofing!”
Dustin: At this point it’s looking less like off-model drawing and more like a deliberate effort to Depatie-Frelengize the characters. Included is a dodgy decision to give Dustdad a thick bowling pin for a head.
FC: “Willy” more often spelled “Willie” is just another nickname for “William” in the US. It’s on the other side of the pond that lowercase “willy” is a slang term for penis. When did Billy start watching edgy Britcoms?
GT: There are good times to share your Bertlike enthusiasm for la-la-la-linoleum, but during gameplay is not one of them.
JP: Flattery really works on Ronnie, who looks like she’s considering throwing Kat over for a Woman of Experience.
MW: Yes, getting fixed does short-circuit a lot of complications in life. Libby and Pierre recommend it highly.
WtB: Spud’s form of lashing out is indeed very Spudlike.
@Flipper: I would love to see Batiuk’s reaction.
As much as we snark on Mary Worth, at least Moy doesn’t have any pretentious opinions about her own writing (I guess that’s the word for it). She appears to set out to infuriate her readers instead of cooking up half assed Pulitzer bait.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Re FC – “It’s pronounced Key-Ay-Knee.”
@I speak Jive: I think Moy has been on record saying that she loves it when she gets hate clicks because it still counts as getting attention for her work which is why she constantly brings out Wilbur.
Phantom: “Cheap Chinese junk.”
@Needless Exposition: I honestly prefer her attitude about her work over Batiuk’s over inflated opinion of his own talents. However, MW can still be infuriating to read.
@Hibbleton:
All the answers are “mom.”
@Daisy: When hubby and I watched the last game and saw four Sox outfielders headed for a collision course
Your scouting report may have cast some light on why this team has fared quite so poorly this season, if say they are operating without a shortstop or perhaps catcher.
Family Circus: “No, dear. Because you ARE stupid.”
Dennis’ apparent belief in a (((shadowy cabal of string-pullers))) is the most menacing thing he’s done in ages.
Believe It or Don’t: In 2020, a swarm of 192 billion locusts was recorded in Northeastern Kenya.
Who counted them?
@Ukulele Ike: The fourth guy (he was first in the strip I saw) I believe is the title character in The Saga of Brann Bjornson, a fairly new strip of a semi-domesticated Viking family. (Sounds familiar … ) It’s got its moments.
Where was Marvin Miller on Tuesday? Nanning, China perhaps?
On the subject of baseball crowds: A fairly melancholy fact is that there are currently over 46,000 fans in the Oakland Coliseum for the Athletics’ last game there.
@Frippin on the Krotz: Dairy Queen’s got a good point. I often wish Dennis could appear in more contemporary clothing, and that includes Alice and Henry. But the costume is his brand, and besides, it’s easier to have the character wear the same thing day after day — less effort to draw them.
@133 Baja Gaijin:
Whew, it was only poo. I was afraid it would be another late-thread recipe!
@Dr. Pill: #135: The same reason the Cartwright’s always wore the same clothes on every Bonanza episode. They could use the same stock footage of them riding across the countryside without having to re-film.
Mutt & Jeff – I miss the good old days when every sizable city had a clearly marked BOOBY HATCH where you could drop people off at any time of the day or night. So convenient!
@136 Sequitur: I’ll ignore that crack and add one about Luann: after Gunther and Bets have finished “tiddly-winking,” she’s got a red snapper.
@Peanut Gallery: Of course the name varies regionally. I believe in New England it would be CRACKER FACTORY.
@139 Baja Gaijin:
Ah, the infamous “poo fish”.
MW : I’m also on team “they’re both idiots” but I think Sunday was a missed opportunity. First we’re set up that Pam and Estelle are estranged and then all of a sudden Pam wants to throw Estelle an engagement party? I expected Sunday to be Pam dripping with sarcasm “so where’s your ‘fiance’?” With a smirk. She reminded everyone how Estelle had that fake boyfriend back in high school and just carried around a letterman’s sweater. She even took it to the big dance to pretend her boyfriend was just getting punch or something. Everyone laughed. No one believed there was an Ed to text her. Did this happen off screen? That would explain why she’s so upset.
Nothing explains Libby and Pierre are still waiting for food.
@Baja Gaijin: That’s horrifying. The olive eyes are the least horrible part of it.
@143 I speak Jive: I know! Who puts lemon slices on white onion slices? Seriously. Who?
Yes yes yes, around-the-block-a-time-or-two Estelle is acting like a giddy 18-year-old and needs to dial it down a bit.
But Ed is an inconsiderate, self-absorbed, monomaniacal cement-head with a messiah complex and zero empathy for anyone else.
I’m on Team Stell for this one. She been wronged.
@Baja Gaijin: When I was a kid, red snapper was a delicious and economical seafood. It was a go-to restaurant choice on 1960s family visits to Awful Grandma on the west coast of Florida. Somehow — overfishing? — it’s now the most expensive finfish on the menu/in the seafood store. I haven’t tasted it in, like, forty years.
If I decided to shell out a pile of cash for one, I wouldn’t gob it up with all the “Vera Cruz” crap….probably just grill it with salt and pepper and serve it with a squeeze of fresh lemon.
Animal Farm tried to push the message that four legs were good but two legs were better. Personally I prefer the message that (in Mary Worth) “humans bad, animals good.” Team LOP would agree with me.
Tiger – Made me laugh.
Zits – If Jeremy wants this phrase to catch on, he should have picked a spicier verb. How about “I’ve forked the radish”? (Extra points for the Shakespeare reference!)
@Needless Exposition: Animal Farm tried to push the message that four legs were good but two legs were better.
If that’s what you got out of Animal Farm, you should go back and ask for a refund. For the price of either the book or your tuition, whichever you feel inclined.
@Ukulele Ike: I haven’t tasted it in, like, forty years.
Take Mrs. Ike out to a nice dinner, buy her a cocktail and then make sure she gets plenty of wine during the main course too, and then let her order an after-dinner drink, and when you get home after a little sweet-talking I’m sure she’ll let you sample her red snapper.
@Ukulele Ike: #146: Down here near the Texas Gulf Coast red snapper (whole or filets) is going for $12.99 a pound at my local Krogers. What’s it going for up in NYC?
@148 Peanut Gallery:
I suppose “Most Improved Band Member” is better than “Horniest Band Member”.
@251 Maude R. Fawker:
Ooh, it bites back!
@Guillermo el chiclero: @Guillermo el chiclero: Christ, something like $26/lb for the whole beast, and you won’t find it in a grocery store. Got to go to a fishmonger, or Whole Foods at least.
And you never see filets. Just a little sign reading “Haw haw, you couldn’t afford it.”
The Gulf of Mexico is where most of the U.S. catch comes from. Why don’t you just go down to the shore and SLAP it out of the water, like a big ol’ black bear?
@Creepy Condescending Wonka: It taught me that the horsies like to work really hard around the farm, and that hogs enjoy Champagne. Why, is there some subtext I missed?
@Creepy Condescending Wonka: Oh, the not so thinly veiled allegories were not lost on me. Granted that I haven’t read the book in twenty years but it might as well be slapping the reader in the face with a red glove.
@155 Ukulele Ike:
One thing that may have affected the price of red snapper is that in 1990 a law was passed making the percentage of the snapper caught 49% for recreation fishing and 51% for commercial fishing. This put a restriction on the commercial fisherman. How they enforce this law I have no idea.
Rex Morgan: Or, soak it in cider, waay inside her. (Works better when read aloud.)
@Sequitur: Ooooo, now I want a job as an inspector with the Fish Police!
Seriously, thanks for the info. Do you know if snapper is considered a wily game fish and suitable prey for sport fishermen? And is this purely a Texas law or does it also apply to Florida and the other Gulf states?
@160 Ukulele Ike:
This appears to be a federal law. Also, there is a restriction of four red snappers a day in state waters and two per day in federal waters (for recreational fishermen). I have no idea where federal waters would be.
Red snappers are not on the list of game fish.
The fish police welcome you with open arms.
@Needless Exposition: Oh, the not so thinly veiled allegories were not lost on me.
You phrased it’s funny, that’s all, so I decided to be condescending. Maybe even a little creepy about it.
@Sequitur: I just looked up Red Snapper on the Monterey Aquarium Seafood Watch website, and talk about complicated information. Not that I have to ponder it where I eat.
@Needless Exposition: Yup, my sympathy is all for Libby and Pierre, especially since Sid has pointed out that they are acting their little hearts out. Can’t be easy, those roles.
@163 Poteet:
But red snapper sure tastes good. But, growing up in South Florida, I used to catch a fish I always thought tasted best. Snook!
Some also may be transgender.
@Phantom Phan: So basically like Count Weirdly’s undersea frog?
DtM:
“Aren’t you controversial filmmaker Michael Moore, Mister?”
MW: “You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with human problems!”
She says this to two animals that have been given up twice by flaky humans, losing their homes and their families (such as they are) !twice! And it’s undoubtedly going to be a third time as she’s obviously going back to Wilbur after all this and we’ve already seen he can’t coexist with those pets.
They’ve already dealt with human problems, but unlike Estelle, those problems weren’t caused by them being an idiot.