It is, quite literally, the freakin’ weekend
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Mary Worth, 10/12/24
God, I hope Jimmy is with Estelle in spirit. I hope he’s been following her around for her whole dating journey, and I hope that when she got to Wilbur he recoiled in disgust. He died while on the job so I assume he still has all his cop stuff with him as a ghost, and I hope that every time Estelle and Wilbur began to have sex he reached his ghost hand for his ghost baton, only to realize that has a mere shade he could never break open the man’s bald head with it, so what’s the point. Instead he just has to sit (float?) there and watch. His spectral but furious presence would explain a lot of the bad vibes around that relationship.
Hi and Lois, 10/12/24
I love that the first panel is a bedtime story and the second is happening at least a day later, which meant that the twins have had to time to discuss this. “He’s talking about Mr. Thurston, right?” they presumably asked each other after Hi shut the door. “He’s the tortoise in this situation?” I also like the fact that leaves are beginning to pile up on Thirsty’s inert form. He’s dead, kids! He’s been dead for hours!
Hagar the Horrible, 10/12/24
Hey, guys, want to read a Hagar the Horrible where some people walk into Hagar and Helga’s house and just start fucking? Well, uh, here you go. Happy weekend, everybody!
43 replies to “It is, quite literally, the freakin’ weekend”
MW:
“After his death, I traveled to Bali, Fiji and the Maldives by myself!”
“Really, Estelle? And here I thought ‘mall dives‘ were what Eve Lourd would take when she encountered department store mannequins at enclosed shopping complexes!”
MW:
I see Pierre is missing yet again today. Does he have canine ADHD or something?
H&L: Ditto changes his tune after Thurston lets out a long, loud beer fart. “You Rock!“
MW:
“Jimmy had everything carefully planned so that we had a steady and robust stream of income coming in regularly. Then that nosy Serpico guy started poking around and ruined everything!”
MW: Turns out, Jimmy and Aldo have become good friends hanging around Charterstone in the afterlife.
“Women, am I Right!?”
Hi and Lois-“Is Mr. Thirsty finally dead?”
FC-Sorry, Dolly, but this is not St. Judith’s.
RMMD-“If Mud acts up again you both will have to dig holes.”
MW-“He’s with you in spirit.” “Well Jimmy did enjoy his drinks.”
Mary Worth: I really don’t want to hear about Ed’s “heavy immersion” in his work, especially since his job probably involves dog suppositories.
Hi and Lois: Ironically, Mr. Thurston’s so sleepy because he just ate a rabbit for lunch. So who’s the real winner here? (It’s certainly not the lawn service Irma will eventually have to call, which will have to deal with several inches of autumn leaves over that three months’ growth of uncut grass.)
Hagar: How rude! Everyone knows that you don’t start the orgy until the wine has been served.
H and L:
“The Plan in which the Tortoise and the Hare are participating is qualified under Section 4975(e)(7) of the Internal Revenue Code, as amended, and designed primarily to allow investment in their employer’s stock.”
“And what exactly do you call what it is that you’re reading from, Dad?”
“ ‘ESOP‘ !”
MW: Libby wonders if she can stop this plot by shoving her whole head into Estelle’s mouth.
I think the guest strips written by Brooke McEldowney are my favourite Hagar the Horribles.
MW: It’s funny how Estelle says “The thing is…”, like she’s about to make a profound point, and then just restates the obvious? Yes, you saw him work himself to an early grave, and then your plans never came true. That is…what happened. Good thing Mary is here to help you see the obvious parallels your present situation, or presumably you’d just never make the connection.
H&L: I dunno kids: despite their different work attitudes, your dad and Thirsty have basically the same life: steady job, suburban house, and a marriage to a much hotter woman. The only difference is that Thirsty doesn’t have a brood of annoying children and gets absolutely shitfaced whenever he wants. Sounds like winning to me!
H&L: This is the first time I remember seeing the ceiling in this strip, which I guess makes it the Citizen Kane of Hagar! If Citizen Kane was a porno. Now the real question: do I want to ruin my search history by looking up to see if there is a porn version of it? I mean, I’m sure there is. Citizen Rod, or something? I can guess what ‘Rosebud’ would be, in any event. What were we talking about?
Hagar tells Helga; “Remind me to burn that bearskin rug.”
MW – I thought Estelle was about to break out into a chorus of “I’ve Never Been to Me” there in P1.
H&L: Fact check: Thirsty isn’t steady. He’s very erratic. The Flagstons regularly have to explain why next door’s driveway is full of trash bags of clothes, and what all those words mean that start with F, and S, and W, and C.
HTH: My wife’s grandma was from a remote corner of Ireland, and her “honeymoon” meant the couple being allowed to stay for a week in her aunt’s cottage in the same town. What I’m saying is, I fear this might be one of the more historically accurate Hagars.
Curtis : What has Curtis’ mysterious new friend drawn that has him so shocked?
a) A vicarious, highly detailed image of themselves shooting up the school
b) A perfectly accurate drawing Supercaptaincoolman
c) An eldritch abomination
d) Dickbutt
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Hagar the Horrible : as a special “treat”, crosses over with Pibgorn today.
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Mary Worth : “Of course, I didn’t LITTERALLY ‘see’ those things happen, because Jimmy was always away at work, so we barely ever spent time together, but you know what I mean…”
MW: Touching story. But I’m not getting, “I love Ed and I don’t want him to die like my beloved husband.” I’m getting, “These selfish bastards are making me do everything BY MYSELF.”
HtH: I thought it would be funny if this gag happened in some of our other favorite strips. But then I remembered how often it DOES happen on Chickweed Lane, so, never mind.
H&L: That’s slow and STEADY, kids. Just ask Mr. Thurston to stretch out his hand.
Hi and Lois: Slow and STEADY! Slow and STEADY win the race, kids! The tortoise didn’t win because it was slow– it won because the hare took a nap! You know, like Thirsty is doing! Ugh, media literacy is dead.
MW: I see we’ve reached the retcon memory hole part of the story. Estelle’s SOB!ing tantrums with Ed were purely selfish and absurdly malicious, but now Karen has remembered that Estelle is supposed to be a likable main character, so instead of becoming insanely furious that Ed tried to save the lives of dying newborn puppies and their mother, now Estelle is just compassionately concerned about Ed overworking himself. (Also Jimmy died in-universe like a couple months ago; god I hate Comic Time.)
H&L: I’ve never understood the “slow and steady wins the race” interpretation of this fable, as every version I’ve seen involves the hare taking a nap and subsequently losing out of arrogance rather his speedy nature being the problem. The real moral is more “if you’re talented, don’t be stupid about it,” while the lesson to “tortoises” is “you suck and don’t deserve to succeed, but maybe you’ll get lucky and take advantage of of someone else’s foolishness.” Also, aren’t these kids in like third grade? Why does Hi have to read to them like they’re- oh. Now I get it.
JP: This has been a relatively great week of Judge Parker, as not only has it been focused on story-important details instead of vapid melodrama and quipping, but the characters are even raising some valid points. Granted, most of these should have come up much earlier (How have Neddy, Ronnie, and Kat never discussed who knows Declan???), but you can’t expect miracles from this strip.
GT: I’ll be damned! The Thorps have a milkman! Who apparently just leaves the milk out there for the Thorps to find whenever or if ever they look out the front door. I wonder if theirs is the only house on his route.
Also, the stress of his heart attack is such that Gil can’t be near his own phone. A jarring ring could trigger another one, so his phone must be kept on the other side of the house.
Finally, that chair looks like a prop from some old black-and-white Ming the Merciless movie.
FC: Dolly questions why hope is accessible to bluebirds but not mortals. Thel responds; “Because a little girl named Pandora wouldn’t do as she was told.”
JP: to be fair to Declan there is that ass.
CS: “Yes, I ruined my sister’s life! Just like one of you can!”
JP: Neddy careens from finger-pointing rage back to docile confusion in an instant. Despite the fact that she owns a horse, she’s not the most stable of people.
MW: “Look, Estelle, I know how you can avoid making the same mistake again. Wilbur adores you, and he’s the laziest man I’ve ever met. You two will have plenty of time together. Of course, he’ll probably die of a heart attack too, but at least it won’t be from overwork. Think about it.”
MW: I’m sorry but what exactly was Jimmy doing when he was doing all that extra work? Playing baseball with poor kids? Rehabilitating hookers? Exploring donut shops? I want specifics.
HtH: The clothes being tossed in the 2nd panel indicate these 2 are fully naked. I have to admit it moved.
MW – “While Ed is very much like my late husband in many ways, there are also some significant differences. For example, Jimmy hated the filthy animals he had to work with.”
@Cleveland Mocks: Also, Milford has pay phones.
Dick Tracy: Looks like everyone stinks in the Scarborough family.
@Professor Well Actually:
He was the arresting officer for uncountable situations where a lame, gimmick-y “crook” with an alliterative name attempted a crime such as “fake car crash for insurance”, “sell fake silk items” and “unleash sleeping gas at the local ice rink”.
His secondary role in these situations was to be a grown adult man who didn’t know things such as “the railing would bend OUTWARD if the car had gone through it”, “Silk is made by bugs, not grown on trees” and “sleeping potions can be frozen and turned into ice, which would be unleashed when the ice melts”.
He was basically the human equivalent of Deputy DuckHi and Lois – That’s right, kids, Mr. Thurston isn’t winning anything. Except maybe peace, comfort, relaxation, and contentment, but who wants that? Now get out there and strive at some soul-killing job! Do all the work the rest of us are too old and tired to do! You want to WIN, don’t you?
Don Abundio, translated:
“Why are your tears on all sides of the scale?”
“Do you turn around on it?”
“No…”
“The scale spins!”
Luann: The moral of this storyline, ladies, is ‘Les loves his pussy, but does not like old broads or fat chicks.’ So keep those pounds off and don’t get old, girls!
RMMD: This week must have been a smorgaboard for Baja with all these close-up expressions of anger, resignation, back-of-the-neck rubbing anxiety…
CS: It wouldn’t be a Batiuk storyline without a gratuitous swipe at ‘technology these days’. You mean to tell me the counter-protesters didn’t record themselves to try and counter the ‘book-banners’ narrative in the public eye?
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
@The Quiet Man:
CS: It wouldn’t be a Batiuk storyline without a gratuitous swipe at ‘technology these days’. You mean to tell me the counter-protesters didn’t record themselves to try and counter the ‘book-banners’ narrative in the public eye?
How and why did the threat of the surveillance camera work if the protesters immediately published videos of the protest after leaving (assuming they weren’t doing this DURING)?
Or is the strip trying to say that, once the faceless
strawmenprotesters left, they got started filming videos where they ranted about what happened after the fact?@Cleveland Mocks: re JP: “Despite the fact that she owns a Horse…”
Please don’t bring ME into this pile of manure, dahling. And I really don’t like the word “owns”…
Just a thought, maybe Dustin would do better if he didn’t refer to grown women as girls. On second thought, no he wouldn’t.
Can we start a new theme next week in which Dr. Ed visits Mary and her muffins to talk about how Estelle gets exceedingly insecure and jealous any time she sees another women who Ed knows and how she becomes abusive when Ed has to deal with a work emergency and how – even after being told by another vet (one who Estelle instantly thinks he must be fucking and then is relieved to know all the fucking is in the past) who tells her that Ed is so devoted to his work that a relationship with his is difficult – Estelle is one of those people who thinks she can change another person? That would be a good storyline, but, of course, Mary would brush all this off as endearing quirks.
Some think going back to Wilbur would be the best thing, but, as terrible as Estelle is, I wouldn’t wish that on her. I think she should go back to Artheur.
I’m pretty sure that was just Wilbur.
@Bob Tice:
Doesn’t really work unless Eshtelle doesn’t know how to pronounce Maldives*.
*that’s Molldeevs, just like Nepal is Naypaal and not Kneepaul.
G. &*^$@#! Thorp: Did Gil have his heart attack when he and Beth tried to join the mile-high club?
I’m fairly certain that the sun would burn the earth to a crisp to prevent Eshtelle, or any other woman, ever having sex with Weelbur, so Mr Eshtelle didn’t ever see it happen.
MW – On the wings of dull gray dove; You bring your pure white guano; Like a gift from above – On the wings of a dove….
H&L – And the moral of the story is don’t let the man jerk you around and never volunteer for anything….
HtH – And the moral of the story is AI still incapable of generating comics….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Ukranazi Stepan:
You’re thinking ‘Sthelle is pronouncing it “Mall-Dives” (as in “the place where you go shopping” + “jumping into water”)?
GT: Milk bottles? Pay phone? Gil is still in a coma. He thinks it’s 1965, and that somehow he’s also a character in an El Greco painting.
@Ukranazi Stepan:
Yep. “Maldives” is listed as No. 12 of 20 on Preply’s blog “The most mispronounced places in the world” — and Estelle, like many, has mispronounced it. Btw, “Cannes” is No. 1 on that list.