Metapost: Let’s all enjoy some comments of the week
Post Content
This week’s top comment! You know it, you love it, etc.
“Of all the people in the world, I would most expect Mary to caution us all about swimming within an hour after eating.” –lynn
And the funny runners up! They’re great! Huzzah!
“I like how in Hell Elementary they only have little fires scattered about, and no brimstone to be seen. Just goes to show that even in Satan’s realm, public school funding is still sorely inadequate.” –pugfuggly
“I’m not very well versed in Crock lore, but isn’t it established that Crock dumped his mother in a nursing home, from which she still manages to create all sorts of mischief for himself and others? I’m just saying, ‘health care reform’ sounds a lot like a euphemism for ‘the nurses are stealing her medication and selling it on the black market to make ends meet.’” –TheDiva
“My main takeaway from today’s Crock is that we’re hearing about ‘his’ health care reform, which suggests that this strip takes place in a universe where either the 1958 or 1961 Algiers coups succeeded, and the French military now controls Metropolitan France and has redoubled its efforts to suppress the FLN. This presumably explains why the strip is still running today.” –Nathan Goldwag
“I grew up in a relatively free range time and I can’t recall ever leaving the house when I was a kid and not being expected to at least give a cursory explanation of where I was going. Of course the Mitchells are probably hoping that Dennis will join a thieves’ ring and disappear for years.” –Artist formerly known as Ben
“Gil putting cream in his coffee immediately after suffering a heart attack is his way of saying ‘I’d rather die than go back.’” –Schroduck
“Sometimes Mary waits for praise, sometimes Mary passive-aggressively trolls for praise, and sometimes Mary just damns the torpedos and flat-out praises herself.” –astroboy
“‘That was quite a wedding…’? What are you talking about, Jeff? It was about the dullest three hours of anybody’s life.” –Cleveland Mocks
“Say what you will about the shortcomings of the Biden administration, managing to get Marvin and his family deported to the United Kingdom will be one of the most celebrated acts and a centerpiece for the eventual Biden library.” –Philip
“I just wanna know what the hell kind of shoes Daddy Daze Daddy is wearing. They look like roombas strapped to his feet. Maybe moon shoes? They look like they have baleens, so maybe each one is the skull of some form of sea life? Is he on the run for poaching whales to make his shoes?” –Craig!
“Mary and Jeff be stylin’ in the SS Medicare Fraud.” –Dennis Jimenez
“Every time Mary rejects him, Jeff gets a bigger boat. I look forward to his adventures of trying to fit USS Gerald Ford into Santa Royale marina in 2035.” –Voshkod
“Martha, I’m not sure you should be quite so amused. Your husband is genuinely unhappy and also maybe dying?” –matt w
“One bit of trivia that haunts me is Saturn’s rings will be gone in about 100 million years. Unimaginably much time compared to the existence of human civilization so far, yet it’s not that much time in astronomical or geological terms, I mean, I’m sure Snuffy Smith will still be around with barely any adjustment needed to reflect the slightly more gentle hills of the Appalachians. And Gasoline Alley, the strip about ancient and dying people has something to say about this? Surely it’ll be something poignant, directed at the small children I imagine represent the future of the readership beyond the strip, powered by the license granted to those about to die to speak freely and fearlessly, about how strange that we happen to live in the same period as this ephemeral wonder in our sky…? Oh, no, it’s just about a random space thing due next year. This comic is such a wild card.” –Amelie Wikström
“Y’all seeing those abstract mudflap girls and dolla signs in the last panel? Depraved.” –ancient mariner and ishmael walk into a bar
“I love that Glen comes from a background that includes his uncle murdering his father, and a jealous resentful brother and yet he has a look on his face that (accurately!) screams, God, DAMN, this family is dysfunctional.’ –2+2=7
“You see, Mud, if the events leading to event A hadn’t happened, event A would not have happened! It’s so fun to learn about causality and linear time!” –Ettorre
“I used to have my own band, you know. I used to travel across the country playing the big venues. I was an icon. I was a star. But my fragile human body kept failing on me! I kept getting sick and hurt! I lost everything and everyone! Now I’ve been stuck in this crappy town for years, coughing my lungs out and screaming in pain in a dumpy motel room, playing the same dive bar every weekend, I’m engaged to some pig-faced truck stop owner, my only friend is some wannabe comedian middle-schooler, and now to pay my mounting medical expenses I have to make a duet album with you. This is hell. This is a nightmare from which I cannot wake up. I would kill myself with an overdose, but I can’t afford the pills!” –jroggs
“When she says ‘let’s go swimming,’ Mary means Dr. Jeff is going to get some action tonight. And by ‘action,’ she means she’s going to go swimming while Dr. Jeff sits on a deck chair pleasuring himself while watching her flail about in the water at night in her modest bathing suit.” –Tabby Lavalamp
“The ‘House of Being’ must be one of those avant-garde restaurants where the menu consists largely of selections of post-structuralist melanges and tedious overcooked prie-fixes. One imagines that Hagar — will be hungry!” –But What Do I know
“I appreciate that Dustin’s sister looks checked out in the last panel. Right after thanking him, she opted to immediately tune out whatever shitty thing he had to say next so she could live in a reality where he just does nice things for people.” –jenna
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44 replies to “Metapost: Let’s all enjoy some comments of the week”
My goodness! Only my second time with top comment in what, 15 years of posting here. Thanks, I needed a little lift today.
@lynn: Well, it’s well-deserved. Very funny!
@lynn: Congrats Lynn! <3
Springboard Shadow CsOTW
GarrisonSkunk
November 9th, 2024 at 11:28 am Reply
@The Rambling Otter: @Liam: Beetle Bailey: Because when the very last leaf floats down, it pokes Buxley in the eye and she gets a fatal infection… it will be very sad.
——————————————————
Sad, yes, but also ironic when Beetle then dramatically lifts his cap and says,”Now, do you see why I always protect my eyes! Pun intended, damn it!”
The Quiet Man
November 12th, 2024 at 5:23 pm Reply
@Ukranazi Stepan: Luann: Battle of the Shoogs 2: The Shoogening.
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Aw, come on, ‘Electric Shoogaloo’ was right there!
Dennis Jimenez
November 14th, 2024 at 8:15 am Reply
@The Rambling Otter: Mary Worth: I’ll give Mary Worth this, just this once.
At least the comic outright goes out of its way to avoid mentioning “old people sex”
Well, The Golden Girls mentioned it constantly but it was actually funny when they did so that gets a pass.
——————————————————
So… all this stuff about groupers and red snappers at the bum boat isn’t dirty talk…
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.
.
Special Long-form Shadow CsOTW
Bob Tice
November 13th, 2024 at 4:45 am Reply
Mary Worth:
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a hateful trip
That started from myopic snorts
Aboard this briny ship
The mate was a flighty, flailing sham
The skipper craved Ensure
Two passengers set sail that day
For a real dour tour, a real dour tour
The blather started getting tough
The briny ship? — star-crossed
If not for the courage of the cheerless two
The widow would be lost, the widow would be lost
The ship set ground on the shore with this discarded, weathered bile
With simpletons —
The skipper stewed
He filled the air with his strife
A moody tar —
I profess she’s a harridan
Here on Simpleton’s Isle!
Philip
November 14th, 2024 at 5:41 am Reply
Mary Worth: Poseidon waits angrily. He has twice been denied his due sacrifice of the monster Wilbur. Since surviving a drunken fall from the ship, what has Poseidon seen? They buried a freshwater fish named after Wilbur out at sea! An insult!
This mockery cannot stand. If Mary cannot deliver Wilbur, then Poseidon will take what he can from her. With Dr. Jeff leaving behind his surf and turf for a purely marine dinner, Poseidon has enough of an ironic twist to make this poetic.
Daily Shadow CsOTW
Saturday
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MKay
November 9th, 2024 at 5:09 am Reply
Mary Worth: Saul’s class is, “Things You NEVER Imagined You Could Do With A Bandana.”
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 9th, 2024 at 3:06 pm Reply
Mary Worth: Saul has been studying demon summoning and advanced curses. He’s taken to it like a duck to water.
Sunday
———-
Poteet
November 10th, 2024 at 1:37 pm Reply
Prince Valiant: Wow, my back hurts just from looking at the everybody-sleeping-on-rocks-and-hard-ground panel. Owwwch. I would need to carry a Singing Air Mattress.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 10th, 2024 at 5:17 pm Reply
Luann: Haha, it’s funny because she still sent away for a shirt that looks like a catheter on a field of pee.
Monday
———–
Lawyerbob
November 11th, 2024 at 4:43 am Reply
Mary Worth: “That was quite the wedding”? That’s “quite” the euphemism for the slap-dash, thrown together in two days ceremony in your neighbor’s condo, with barely five guests (including the bride’s loathsome ex), catered with your girlfriend’s pale squares of indeterminate foodstuff.
Cleveland Mocks
November 11th, 2024 at 7:06 am Reply
Mary Worth: “That was “quite a wedding . . .”? What are you talking about, Jeff? It was about the dullest three hours of anybody’s life.
Tuesday
———–
Craig!
November 12th, 2024 at 5:31 am Reply
Daddy Daze: I just wanna know what the hell kind of shoes Daddy Daze Daddy is wearing. They look like roombas strapped to his feet. Maybe moon shoes? They look like they have baleens, so maybe each one is the skull of some form of sea life? Is he on the run for poaching whales to make his shoes?
Poteet
November 12th, 2024 at 11:07 am Reply
Mary Worth: Is there another comic strip with dialogue that better resembles aliens trying unsuccessfully to imitate humans, or is Mary Worth the definitive winner in this category? Discuss.
Wednesday
—————
TheDiva
November 13th, 2024 at 7:29 am Reply
Phantom: Apparently national governments are like potato chips, or megayachts: you can’t have just one.
Flipper
November 13th, 2024 at 7:46 am Reply
Dennis The Menace: Oh George, just call your doctor. Dennis gave you the cheap nose candy last time just to get you hooked. Please stop now, or someday Dennis will be sending Joey to break your legs.
Thursday
————
pugfuggly
November 14th, 2024 at 5:13 am Reply
Gil Thorp: Again, loving the new art here. The contrast between Paul Kim striding carefully across what looks to be a flaming moon of Jupiter while the timid Milford team is slowly turning into grass.
Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women
November 14th, 2024 at 6:49 am Reply
Mary Worth: Dr. Jeff: Shaking up the usual order of things is fun! After swimming. . . maybe, buttsex?
Mary: WHAT!?!
Dr. Jeff: (looks down at his menu mumbling): I said. . . smoked chard sounds interesting.
Friday
——–
jroggs
November 15th, 2024 at 4:33 am Reply
Mary Worth: What kind of walk did Mary think Jeff was suggesting that necessitated this aggressive correction? Does Jeff occasionally employ some manner of competitive scoring system? Does Santa Royale’s beachfront boardwalk have black diamond routes? Is Mary worried about getting baited into a three-legged race by some of the local ambling hoodlums? What does this mean?
Ukulele Ike
November 15th, 2024 at 5:22 am Reply
Mary Worth: “Well, the menu said ‘filet of sole,’ but what I’m seeing on the plate is ‘fish sticks.’ That’s the Bum Boat for you.”
.
.
.
Shadow COTW
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Roto13
November 13th, 2024 at 8:34 amReply
You have no idea how angry I am to have learned something from a Gasoline Alley strip.
Gotta say, this week’s Comments of the Week feature some pro-grade quotation-mark nesting. It’s the little things that make it great.
Way to go, lynn, and to the Floaters, Shadowers, and Scroters:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Where’s Rocky?
November 9th, 2024 at 4:38 am Reply
MW. From the look on Saul’s face, I assume the Santa Royale Learning Annex has a class called “the Step Ladder Kama Sutra.”
MKay
November 9th, 2024 at 5:09 am Reply
MW: Saul’s class is, “Things You NEVER Imagined You Could Do With A Bandana.”
Rube
November 9th, 2024 at 4:42 am Reply
Mary Worth Too bad the Adult Learning Center doesn’t have a course on “Writing Natural Sounding Dialogue”.
jroggs
November 9th, 2024 at 5:06 am Reply
MW: The other Mudges and I read comics everyday. We like to discuss what we read afterward. It’s fun for us! And I’m proud of what it has done in developing the natural subtlety of our human expository skills.
Charterstoned
November 9th, 2024 at 4:51 am Reply
MW: Eve looks like she’s about to eat Saul’s face. Did they get their course registrations mixed up, or something?
Maltmash3r
November 9th, 2024 at 4:55 am Reply
Wait, where are Eve and Saul’s dogs? Surely this is a pet friendly wedding.
Saul isn’t taking a taxidermy class, is he?
Arabella
November 9th, 2024 at 11:31 am Reply
MW: Am I the only one who laughed out loud at Saul and Eve’s rapturous expressions and the innuendo of their conversation about the “separate classes” they “discuss” later with joy and pride? They look as if they are about to go into a Gomez-and-Morticia embrace. Only in reverse with Eve taking the lead.
Hibbleton
November 9th, 2024 at 4:43 am Reply
MW: Eve does air quotes when she mentions Saul’s course at the “Adult learning center” AKA, AA meeting.
RMMD: Reworked for a roots country audience, Shorty and the Beanpole’s new act was a mildly amusing hit.
“Why’d the chicken cross the road?”
“I dunno.”
“His pickup was in the shop!“
pugfuggly
November 9th, 2024 at 7:00 am Reply
RMMD: Truck may be a great singer, but he’s still learning the basics of shouting. Hunched forward, teeth gritted, hands out like he’s sniffing a coconut, I just wish we could hear what kind of noise he’s actually making…
GarrisonSkunk
November 9th, 2024 at 8:22 am Reply
Starting tomorrow, tired of ignoring his trick finger, Sex Organ V.D. will be treating Truck for Megaphone Mouth Hands.
TheDiva
November 9th, 2024 at 6:54 am Reply
RMMD: Uh-oh, I see where this is headed: Truck, a rural progressive in the style of Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash, is happy to affirm Parker’s non-binary identity, while “gender critical” aspiring tradwife Wanda finds it bizarre and unnatural. Can two people on opposing sides of the political divide really get along? (Spoiler: yes, but only in Rex Morgan where the stakes are so low nobody is affected by anything that happens ever.)
BigTed
November 9th, 2024 at 9:50 am Reply
Family Circus: It’s funny because French terms on the menu mean it’s a fancy restaurant they can’t afford and that the kids will hate, and Mommy is wondering if she can just dine-and-dash while leaving them there to wash dishes.
Weaselboy
November 9th, 2024 at 6:37 am Reply
FC – Ah, making up a menu term for the sake of a darndest thing. Well played, Keane.
I speak Jive
November 9th, 2024 at 8:00 am Reply
FC – “Prix fixe” means that a veterinarian will come to the table and neuter Jeffy.
Liam
November 9th, 2024 at 6:03 am Reply
FC-The original version had Billy hitting on the waitress.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Cleveland Mocks
November 10th, 2024 at 5:35 am Reply
MW: Wilbur fumes inside. “Oh that’s just swell. You worked out your differences with HIM. But with ME, you got a restraining order. Thanks for nothin’.”
UncleJeff
November 10th, 2024 at 8:35 am Reply
Oh, and MW?
BLEARRRRAAAAAAGH!
Guillermo el chiclero
November 10th, 2024 at 7:47 am Reply
FC: At least one consolation for lonely, elderly Thel. HTT Grandma is long dead and buried.
matt w
November 10th, 2024 at 5:49 am Reply
Look Dennis the Menace Hasty Update Team. When they hand you a strip with Henry talking on a landline, it may seem clever to slap Henry’s floating hand and cellphone on the bottom of the penultimate panel. But why did he pull his phone out before it rang? Turning the handset into a black rectangle in the last panel would have been enough.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Tom T.
November 10th, 2024 at 6:01 pm Reply
Luann: Timely — ten days into No-nut November, Luann is vowing not to click her mouse too often.
Artist formerly known as Ben
November 10th, 2024 at 5:17 pm Reply
Luann: Haha, it’s funny because she still sent away for a shirt that looks like a catheter on a field of pee.
Pozzo
November 11th, 2024 at 5:51 am Reply
Could Daisy’s leash be any shorter? It’s almost as short as the leash Blondie keeps Dagwood on.
Dennis Jimenez
November 11th, 2024 at 7:00 am Reply
Blondie – My favorite autumn thing? Motorboating your boobs! Also, winter, spring and summer fun….
Lawyerbob
November 11th, 2024 at 4:43 am Reply
MW: “That was quite the wedding”? That’s “quite” the euphemism for the slap-dash, thrown together in two days ceremony in your neighbor’s condo, with barely five guests (including the bride’s loathsome ex), catered with your girlfriend’s pale squares of indeterminate foodstuff.
Where’s Rocky?
November 11th, 2024 at 7:09 am Reply
MW. I was going to say that Dr. Jeff isn’t getting any tonight, but who am I kidding? He never gets any.
TheDiva
November 11th, 2024 at 7:10 am Reply
MW: Tired of waiting for other people to praise her, Mary gets the ball rolling herself.
matt w
November 11th, 2024 at 5:19 am Reply
Jeff is questioning the results of a manipulation Mary just said she’s proud of? He’s gonna get wished into the cornfield.
Ettorre
November 11th, 2024 at 5:04 am Reply
MW: “I don’t think this marriage is going to last”
“I am an expert in human relationship and I predict many happy years for them!”
“Well, I am an expert in human medicine and I predict that the huge workload in addition to marital strife will drive Ed to an early heart attack!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Charles Solution
November 11th, 2024 at 4:28 am Reply
oh hey Marvin is speaking (instead of thought-bubbling) and so is the dog
This seems significant, but maybe it’s the comics version of using “quotation marks” for “emphasis.”
nescio
November 11th, 2024 at 7:27 am Reply
I can’t see any way that HMS My Boat would catastrophically implode like the Titan submersible but I can dream.
Tabby Lavalamp
November 11th, 2024 at 7:50 am Reply
Marvin trying to set out to sea in a cardboard boat is not the dark and twisted way I expected this strip to come to an end. Kudos for not having the end be poop-related.
Hibbleton
November 11th, 2024 at 4:36 am Reply
Marvin: The US Navy threatened to sue if Armstrong implied any association with the befouler of the waters on this most honored of days.
Liam
November 11th, 2024 at 4:33 am Reply
Marvin-Kudos on the writer for not making a poop deck joke.
Ettorre
November 11th, 2024 at 7:44 am Reply
Why is Marvin’s interest in boats is intense and long-lasting? It ties with his passion for floaters
Schroduck
November 11th, 2024 at 4:34 am Reply
Marvin: HMS stands for “Huge Marvin Shits”
GT: Gil putting cream in his coffee immediately after suffering a heart attack is his way of saying “I’d rather die than go back.”
Doc Wonmug
November 11th, 2024 at 6:58 am Reply
Wow, I figured Gil to be a percolator guy. Isn’t a french press a lot too elitist for a Man of Millford (no matter what state it’s in)?
Cleveland Mocks
November 11th, 2024 at 7:27 am Reply
GT: Now that he’s drawing disability pay and marijuana has been legalized, Gil’s got a whole new set of priorities.
Bob Tice
November 11th, 2024 at 4:41 am Reply
GT:
“Cream?”
“Nah, I prefer Clapton solo.”
Violet
November 11th, 2024 at 8:04 am Reply
GT: Man, I don’t know if it’s because of the new artist or what, but this POV is giving me major flashbacks. I’m pretty sure I’ve woken up in Gil’s apartment before.
teenchy
November 11th, 2024 at 5:26 am Reply
GT: “We are here at Gil Thorp where we’ve secretly replaced the main character they usually have with Folgers Crystals. Let’s see if anyone can tell the difference!”
pugfuggly
November 11th, 2024 at 5:28 am Reply
GT: PAINT MY KITCHEN PISS COLOR, PLEASE!
But What Do I Know?
November 11th, 2024 at 6:37 am Reply
GT — That “Number #1 Dud” t-shirt is on-brand.
RMMD — Oh, by the way, I proposed to Wanda the other day.”
“Don’t know that one, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it. B-flat chord?”
MKay
November 11th, 2024 at 4:46 am Reply
RMMD: Mud’s new song is called, ” I Did Yer Woman, You Gimp-Fingered Coot,” so he’s understandably stunned.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
November 11th, 2024 at 5:21 am Reply
Rex Morgan, M.D.: Eh, you say “heart eyes,” I say “the look of a man whose emotions are expressed in the bowel rather than the face.” Are we sure Hank done it this way?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
TheDiva
November 11th, 2024 at 7:32 am Reply
Luann: “Hi, Dad, it’s Karen. Listen, about the new panels…Dad, we’ve been over this…yes, I know it’s just an imagine spot detailing their rivalry, but the syndicate will not allow you to show Tiffany and Stef mud wrestling…yes, fighting in skimpy gladiator costumes is out too…Tiffany booting Stef through the air? I think that could…NO, Dad, Stef’s skirt can not be flying up past her hips; have you been talking with Brooke McEldowney again…?”
BigTed
November 11th, 2024 at 7:55 am Reply
Family Circus: Shut up, kid — can’t you see that Mommy is trying to read that love letter from her high school boyfriend for the 8,000th time? Once again, she’s wondering if she should have married him way back when, and had kids with normal heads.
UncleJeff
November 12th, 2024 at 9:15 am Reply
A&J: Uh oh. Arlo has a boner and Janis just noticed.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
TheDiva
November 12th, 2024 at 5:55 am Reply
Pluggers haven’t heard from their children since 2016 and can’t figure out why.
MW: I will say this for Mary Worth, it’s kind of refreshing for the man in the relationship to be the one (not-so-)subtly angling for marriage while the woman does everything in her power to dodge it. It’s like a gender flip on the old Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane comics.
Liam
November 12th, 2024 at 5:59 am Reply
MW-Mary, just tell Jeff that you don’t want to get married again after your first husband killed himself and only left you with a mountain of debt and a floundering apartment complex.
cheech wizard
November 12th, 2024 at 6:30 am Reply
MW – I think we all know that Mary doesn’t believe in premarital sex, so we can assume that she and Jeff have a chaste relationship. And she wants to keep it that way. She wants his penis to remain squarely in his pants, though he can whip out his credit card anytime.
Liam
November 12th, 2024 at 6:59 am Reply
@cheech wizard:
Mary also doesn’t believe in postmarital sex either.
Charterstoned
November 12th, 2024 at 6:34 am Reply
MW: Anybody else notice how the portholes on Dr. Jeff’s boat keep changing their positions on the hull? I’m sure there’s an analogy to the relationship he has with Mary, somewhere in there….
Voshkod
November 12th, 2024 at 6:36 am Reply
Every time Mary rejects him, Jeff gets a bigger boat. I look forward to his adventures of trying to fit USS Gerald Ford into Santa Royale marina in 2035.
Tonio
November 12th, 2024 at 5:57 am Reply
Translation: Mary just wants commitment-free boning.
Rube
November 12th, 2024 at 6:46 am Reply
MW I assume that, as usual, they will be using this garishly expensive boat to go to a dinner that could be the early bird special at Perkin’s?
Ettorre
November 12th, 2024 at 6:47 am Reply
Come on, Dr Jeff, don’t be gloomy! Sure, Mary will not give you her left hand in marriage, but panel 1 shows that her right hand is doing something for you!
ectojazzmage
November 12th, 2024 at 7:30 am Reply
Mary Worth: Good God, if you look up “simp” on Urban Dictionary, I bet the article is just a picture of Dr. Jeff. This man is legit hopeless, dedicating his entire life to trying to get Mary to show him some genuine affection. Sorry, Dr. Jeff, best she can do is go on sappy monologues about what all the weirdos in her apartment complex are doing while making you pay for all the shit she wants.
Poteet
November 12th, 2024 at 11:07 am Reply
MW: Is there another comic strip with dialogue that better resembles aliens trying unsuccessfully to imitate humans, or is MW the definitive winner in this category? Discuss.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Unca Bob
November 12th, 2024 at 6:05 am Reply
Luann: C-c-c-cat fight!
Tom T.
November 13th, 2024 at 5:57 am Reply
GT: I don’t follow this strip, but the artwork looks like that series of paintings where the artist was descending into schizophrenia.
Weaselboy
November 13th, 2024 at 6:30 am Reply
GT – “Yeah, yeah. Discount cars, eating a shoe. Whatever. Back to Golden Girls!”
pugfuggly
November 13th, 2024 at 4:54 am Reply
GT: I like how the art in this stirp is getting more and more abstract, presumably to represent Gil’s deteriorating state of mind as his brain turns to mush from daytime TV. Looking forward to a month from now when it’ll just be a purple triangle talking to an orange square.
DtM: It’s funny because looking Mr Wilson isn’t joking: he actually looks to be in pretty rough shape! The daily stress he gets from Dennis is the only thing keeping his heart going — without that constant irritation he would literally collapse and die! I feel like this is a lost episode of The Twilight Zone.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
jroggs
November 13th, 2024 at 4:54 am Reply
MW: If a thrice-annual boating-and-dinner arrangement with a woman who refuses to sleep with him or have an adult conversation about their relationship is “having the stars,” it may be time for Jeff to give up on astronomy.
Bob Tice
November 13th, 2024 at 4:59 am Reply
MW:
“Jeff, why buy an entire shelfful of milk substitute products when the non-dairy creamer is so cheap? — no, wait a minute…that’s not it.”
Myrtle
November 13th, 2024 at 6:02 am Reply
MW: Think about, Jeff. It makes even less sense to “buy the cow” when the cow doesn’t even give milk! Meanwhile, coconut milk is readily available in Southeast Asia.
Flipper
November 13th, 2024 at 7:46 am Reply
MW: Considering they’re atop a speeding boat, all of the words should be in bold, and every line should be repeated after the other person yells “WHAT?!” with their hand cupped behind their ear.
astroboy
November 13th, 2024 at 9:42 am Reply
MW – The S.S. Compensation keeps getting bigger every storyline. At this rate it’ll need a tugboat to get out of harbor next time.
Lord Flatulence
November 13th, 2024 at 9:59 am Reply
@astroboy: Or you could call it the SS Blue Balls.
Cleveland Mocks
November 13th, 2024 at 5:25 am Reply
MW: “I’m not asking for the moon. I’m asking for . . . ahem, *you* know.”
cheech wizard
November 13th, 2024 at 6:23 am Reply
MW – Have we ever seen the inside of Jeff’s bachelor pad? Specifically the unwashed dishes, dirty clothes lying on the floor and filthy bathroom? That probably goes a long way to explaining Mary’s matrimonial reluctance. Frankly, I’m surprised she’s even willing to fuck on those rancid sheets.
Baja Gaijin
November 13th, 2024 at 6:30 am Reply
@27 Cleveland Mocks: “I’m not asking for the moon. I’m asking for . . . ahem, *you* know.” Ur-anus. (Someone had to say it.)
@55 cheech wizard: Dr. Jeff’s place could be so clean you could make semiconductors in it yet Mary still wouldn’t give it up to him.
TheDiva
November 13th, 2024 at 7:29 am Reply
Dustin: Ten dollars a mile? That’s a bit disproportionate, unless Dustdad grabbed an entire case of World’s Finest almond bars out the break room and scarf them down at his…you know what, never mind, that’s exactly what he did, right before going home and complaining about his wife spending twenty bucks on face cream. And he probably never actually paid for the chocolate bars, either.
Harley HandjobSequiturNovember 13th, 2024 at 8:28 am Reply
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
“Daddy-o, guess what I’m doin’ with my hands.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
UncleJeffers
November 13th, 2024 at 8:43 am Reply
Marvin is mixing it up by making a joke about bird poop today.
Baja Gaijin
November 14th, 2024 at 4:30 am Reply
Mary Worth: Whoa! Mary’s in the mood for something new? Maybe tonight’ll be Jeff’s lucky night and he’ll get to second base. Over the double-knit polyester turtleneck, of course.
lynn
November 14th, 2024 at 4:35 am Reply
MW: Of all the people in the world, I would most expect Mary to caution us all about swimming within an hour after eating.
Joe Momma
November 14th, 2024 at 4:50 am Reply
MW: “Not tonight, Jeff. I am ordering filet of sole, and that is sole as in singular, alone, blissfully not married to you!”
Jeff will be ordering the usual cold fish.
Ken
November 14th, 2024 at 4:51 am Reply
MW: Are we setting up for more (yawn) drama as Jeff dies of either a bad clam or swimming cramps? And will Mary be able to self-meddle away her depression afterward?
Tabby Lavalamp
November 14th, 2024 at 5:41 am Reply
When she says “let’s go swimming,” Mary means Dr. Jeff is going to get some action tonight. And by “action”, she means she’s going to go swimming while Dr. Jeff sits on a deck chair pleasuring himself while watching her flail about in the water at night in her modest bathing suit,
Philip
November 14th, 2024 at 5:41 am Reply
Mary Worth – Poseidon waits angrily. He has twice been denied his due sacrifice of the monster Wilbur. Since surviving a drunken fall from the ship, what has Poseidon seen? They buried a freshwater fish named after Wilbur out at sea! An insult!
This mockery cannot stand. If Mary cannot deliver Wilbur, then Poseidon will take what he can from her. With Dr. Jeff leaving behind his surf and turf for a purely marine dinner, Poseidon has enough of an ironic twist to make this poetic.
Lauralot
November 14th, 2024 at 5:49 am Reply
MW: I predict Mary’s bathing suit will be one from the early 1900s. Jeff will try to wear a Speedo like Wilbur did in Bogotá, but Mary’s withering stare of disapproval will shame him out of that and, in fact, out of swimming at all.
Charterstoned
November 14th, 2024 at 6:33 am Reply
MW: The thought of Mary in a bathing suit—and, please, God, make her wear a bathing suit!—make me want to hurl. And I didn’t even HAVE the clams.
Voshkod
November 14th, 2024 at 6:36 am Reply
A simple misunderstanding of a homophone would lead to Dr. Jeff stumbling around as the living dead after Mary fillets his soul.
But What Do I Know?
November 14th, 2024 at 5:56 am Reply
MW — This is all code. Mary usually orders the salmon, which signals to Jeff he’ll be swimming upstream in any attempt at coitus–but tonight she’s getting the filly sole, which means she’s going it alone. Jeff, in response, reverts to clams a la casino, which means he’ll be cruising the tables at the local reservation looking for female companionship. Mary, seeing what a weak hand she is playing, alludes to rocking (the little man) in the boat and suggests searching for him after dinner.
jenna
November 14th, 2024 at 7:08 am Reply
“Well, Jeff, sometimes you crave something similar but slightly different. Like sole instead of salmon, or swimming instead of walking, or an animal doctor instead of a people doctor…” and so Mary segues into the idea that they swing with Ed and Estelle.
Pozzo
November 14th, 2024 at 5:06 am Reply
“I think I’ll order the bearded clam…er, I mean…”
Schroduck
November 14th, 2024 at 4:55 am Reply
MW: Swimming after dinner, Mary? Is this what The Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy was talking about when he mentioned “a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide?”
RM: With an aging population and a struggling healthcare system, it makes sense that America’s leading medical comic strip would pivot to “Disease and disability – good, actually! If you have respiratory disease, painful joints, or on-stage pants-shitting, ask your doctor if doing nothing about it is right for you! Or better yet, don’t bother them at all.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Guillermo el chiclero
November 14th, 2024 at 5:06 am Reply
FC: Billy is thinking, “And this little moron gets to inherit Dad’s gig.”
I speak Jive
November 14th, 2024 at 7:47 am Reply
FC – What’s the big deal? When he takes over from Bil, all he has to know is how to use Wite Out and how to draw a flat screen TV.
Arabella
November 14th, 2024 at 8:45 am Reply
FC: As if Billy would know the word “anatomy.” It’s not a “dardest thing” that a kid would say. I see adult sibling rivalry at work here.
Braniff
November 14th, 2024 at 5:09 am Reply
FC: “Jeffy, you should see Daddy’s copies of Playblow and Hustle if you want to see some anatomy.”
Hibbleton
November 14th, 2024 at 5:41 am Reply
FC: An angry Thel grabs the drawing. “Have you been eating paint chips again!?”
mvg
November 14th, 2024 at 7:10 am Reply
GT: Uhm, why is Milford playing VALLEY TECH? The whole Coach Gonads gonna-eat-my-shoe-if-I-lose gimmick was for MIlford playing GOSHEN on the upcoming Friday. Looks like we can add “continuity” to “sports” & “drawing” as things about which this ‘creative’ team knows absolutely nothing.
allangary
November 14th, 2024 at 7:29 am Reply
Gil Thorp – The announcer’s booth is high above a corner of the end zone, not over the 50 yard line like in every other football stadium in the US. The nearest marked line is for the 30. So the stands below the announcer must be cantilevered over the end zone. This is going to make field goals tricky.
OId Man Shadow
November 14th, 2024 at 8:33 am Reply
I’m not an expert on football, but could it be that what’s affecting Milford’s season is the rain cloud that appears to be parked over and only affecting them? Before we drag Gil out of his convalescence has anyone even tried to appease Thor with a sacrifice of their enemies?
Guillermo el chiclero
November 14th, 2024 at 7:52 am Reply
Luann: If this ends up with Tiff and Stef consoling each other in the fuck tent I’ll forgive the Evansii of all their former and future transgressions.
Luann: Isn’t that the same scrawny rent-a-cop that threw the gang out of the monster truck rally? He looks like a cross between Barney Fife and Zippy the Mailman.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Weaselboy
November 15th, 2024 at 5:51 am Reply
FC – This is literally low-hanging fruit.
Liam
November 15th, 2024 at 6:23 am Reply
FC-Mommy can unzip a banana with her teeth.
Daisy
November 15th, 2024 at 7:23 am Reply
FC: Oh, fellow ‘Mudges…please don’t go there…please don’t go there…
*sigh* too late…
Hibbleton
November 15th, 2024 at 4:40 am Reply
FC: Jeffy asks someone (his mom?) to unzip his ‘banana’ so he can go potty. He also asks what’s this yellow thing he’s holding.
MW: Mary suggests they take a stroll to which Dr Jeff responds; “How’s your fillet of sole?”
Mary excitedly replies “Superb!” to his lame pun. Mary knows he likes her stroking his ego more than stroking his banana.
Ukulele Ike
November 15th, 2024 at 5:22 am Reply
MW: “Well, the menu said ‘filet of sole,’ but what I’m seeing on the plate is ‘fish sticks.’ That’s the Bum Boat for you.”
MKay
November 15th, 2024 at 4:49 am Reply
MW: So, they only show us this stilted, achingly boring side of Mary and Jeff’s relationship because it’s acceptable for public viewing, right? Behind closed doors, they really cut loose, right? Right?
LTJpezcore1
November 15th, 2024 at 5:14 am Reply
MW: Dr Jeff is going to propose, right?
jroggs
November 15th, 2024 at 5:22 am Reply
@LTJpezcore1: Did you miss Wednesday? Jeff tried and was platituded back into his place.
Lord Flatulence
November 15th, 2024 at 5:55 am Reply
MW: “In all seriousness, we should do he horizontal mambo after dinner.”
Unca Bob
November 15th, 2024 at 5:16 am Reply
MW- Yak yak yak yak. Can’t wait for the Sunday climax.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
November 15th, 2024 at 5:22 am Reply
@Unca Bob: Neither can Dr. Jeff, but that doesn’t mean he’s getting one!
Pluggers: Pluggers will not wait for a heavy 2-person pivot and certainly not for a Hoyer lift. They self-transfer to the toilet like God and the U.S. Constitution intended! Anyway, sign this death certificate, will you?
Tabby Lavalamp
November 15th, 2024 at 5:44 am Reply
Pluggers would rather injure themselves than pay for five minutes of electricity when they get up to pee in the middle of the night. They’re not made of money, dagnabbit!
2+2=7
November 15th, 2024 at 5:57 am Reply
PLUGGERS: Pluggers are several months past due on their energy bill.
The Rambling Otter
November 15th, 2024 at 6:06 am Reply
Pluggers: Forget sore toes and knees, this Plugger has seemed to have turned into stone. Does he have a Gorgon neighbor lurking around his premises? If Medusa survived into a modern setting, would she become a plugger? (So many questions!)
Baja Gaijin
November 15th, 2024 at 6:24 am Reply
Pluggers: Ha ha! Pluggers are too stupid to buy a nightlight! Or is it, “Pluggers are too cheap to buy a nighlight”? Maybe it’s, “Pluggers are too poverty-stricken to afford a nightlight”? It has to be, “Pluggers are too disease-ridden to remember to get a nightlight in the morning after clonking themselves during the night.” Hm. I couldn’t figure out how to get a “Pluggers are fat” trope into this strip. I’ll have to try harder next time.
TheDiva
November 15th, 2024 at 6:31 am Reply
@Baja Gaijin: How about “Pluggers are so fat they’re constantly bumping into things with their fat feet”? It’s a bit of a stretch but it works.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
richardf8
November 15th, 2024 at 5:14 am Reply
Dustin – It would have been funnier if he had told him that she was running in that halloween costume of hers. Because pimping his daughter out to his colleagues is totally something DustinDad would do.
matt w
November 15th, 2024 at 5:35 am Reply
With regret I must praise Dustin for a joke that is not only original and coherent but relies on several long-established character traits (Ed is a lawyer, Ed wouldn’t put in much effort to help his child, Ed is absolutely the kind of person who would abuse his power to shake down his subordinates).
Dan
November 15th, 2024 at 5:35 am Reply
If Ed not smiling here was actually the joke it would have worked pretty well. “I closed the Jog-A-Thon deal today. Poor bastards never knew what him them.”
T Campbell
November 15th, 2024 at 5:49 am Reply
Today’s Dustin feels off. Sure, Dad did sort of trick his whole office out of money because somehow he’s the only one at his law firm who knows when “class-action” isn’t compulsory. But he also did something…nice? For his daughter? The only way I’ll accept this as canon is if it’s Dad’s endgame to make lots of cutting remarks to Dustin like, “At least I have one child who can hurry up to reach a goal.”
Rube
November 15th, 2024 at 6:01 am Reply
Dustin Yep, write some lawyer words that you saw on a Game Show Network commercial one time. That’s perfectly good research. Now you can get back to making fun of your title character for being lazy and expecting to be successful while doing nothing to earn his pay.
Liam
November 15th, 2024 at 6:23 am Reply
Dustin-Lot of people in Dustdad’s office really want to watch his daughter jog.
Dustin-Jog-a-thon or Jug-a-thon?
TheDiva
November 15th, 2024 at 6:30 am Reply
Dustin: These “Hey, Dustdad is a lawyer, remember?” strips always make me wonder what kind of lawyer he is. I suspect he’s a minor player in a large personal injury firm, the kind people are always disappointed to work with because they thought they were going to be getting Jack Mancuzzi, the Legal Eagle (“We swoop down on the insurance company for you!” *red-tailed hawk screech*)
Cleveland Mocks
November 15th, 2024 at 5:59 am Reply
JP: The fact that Glen hasn’t excused himself and sped back to the Hamptons by now is evidence of either extreme horniness or extreme dumbassness.
GT: “Blitz the RB,” said no football coach ever. Gotta love the way Henry just randomly sprinkles vaguely familiar sports terms around hoping he’ll one day hit on something that makes sense.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Jeezycat
November 10th, 2024 at 10:00 am Reply
MW: “years”? Only if she’d been cheating on Wilbur. The dramatic fallout will
be awesomenever happen.69. Flipper
November 11th, 2024 at 8:11 am Reply
GT: I bet they’re keeping Gil at home so we forget what he used to look like. A month seems unnecessary, though, because artist Rachel already forgot what he looked like in panel two when she drew panel three.
MW: I think it’s Mary saying she wonders about the future of the married couple, not Dr. Jeff. Her word balloons always have more bold words than anyone else (no need to check!), and in panel two, both of her word balloons end in elipses to ensure Dr. Jeff never gets to say another line.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Ettorre
November 13th, 2024 at 7:03 am Reply
It’s weird, Mr Wilson always seemed to have problems with high blood pressure, due to stress and obesity, I wonder what changed? SOME GOOGLE LATER: However, some medications to treat ED may cause a drop in blood pressure in some people. So that’s why Martha is grinning!
69. TheDiva
November 15th, 2024 at 6:57 am Reply
MW: You know what’s worse than the post-arc Mary Worth Praisefest? The post-arc “Mary and Jeff go on the world’s most boring date to show how well-adjusted they are as a couple” sequence.
It was a long ball’s week since I had a little more time to spend on this site this week. (Within the next year I plan to retire with the result being I’ll have less time at work and thus less time to spend on this site – if that makes sense, which to many of you, it probably does.)
Even with the longer balls I probably missed a few of you. I appreciate the acknowledgment from many of you to receiving a Scrote or Shadow and try to include as many of you as I can in the Scrotal offerings, but I sometimes miss.
Congrats to lynn and the floaters and thanks, Scratchy!
Congrats to all for being more than amusing this week!
Thanks, Scratchy.
Thanks for the mention,
FeelingGroovyScratchy!Thanks for the mentions!
Thanks for the highlights Josh, Baja, and Scratchy. Good to see snark I missed the first time around like this one by Mkay:
RMMD: Mud’s new song is called, ” I Did Yer Woman, You Gimp-Fingered Coot,” so he’s understandably stunned.
(And I really appreciate the mentions, Scratchy)
@lynn: #1
Congratulations – well done and well-deserved! :-)
Thanks, Baja and Scratchy! Congrats, everyone!
Thanks Josh and Scratchy!
@lynn: As a former YMCA part time lifeguard, I salute your funny and worthy CCCOTW!
Thanks to our host, Scratchy, and Baja. Some great reading today.
Thanks, Baja and Scratchy!
@Hibbleton:
Thank you for the bonus mention!
Thank you, Baja & Scratchy! And congratulations to all the funny floaters.
Oh wow. Was not expecting to find myself on the float this week. Amidst such funny company, as well. Thank you Josh, and congratulations to all, including fellow shadow-ies and scratchies (& thx to Baja and SSLXIX).
Wow, a float, a shadow, and a few scrotes! Thanks very much, guys!
And big ups to Lynn, Roto13, and the usual gang of idiots!
Thank you, Baja & Scratchy.
(note to self: more fish stick jokes. They seem to go over well)
@Ukulele Ike:
Marvin has fish stick shits.
Hi beats Lois in front of all four of their children for serving fish sticks instead of the proper dinner he deserves as a 1950s suburban husband.
Dagwood eats 74 fish sticks in one sitting, without even asking for tartar sauce.
Dumbing of Age: For his next culinary endeavor, Joe will prepare a fish stick delight for Joyce, to protein-accompany her Kraft Dinner. Joyce is so enchanted that she actually spreads legs for Joe after he washes the dishes.
Flash Gordon does simply marvelous things to Dale Arden with the contents of a twelve-pack of frozen fish sticks.
Thanks, Baja!
Thank you, Baja! Two Dailies, wow. I am honored.
Scratchy, much appreciated! It’s happy moments like this that keep me following MW. Intermittent reinforcement works. Who knows how Mary manages it with Jeff.
Hooray to Lynn and the runners-up, and thank you, Baja and Scratchy.
A float and three scrotes! Thanks to TPTB and congrats to lynn. . .