Animal-people and people-people
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Pluggers, 11/16/24
Big news for people tired of reading my typed words and interested in hearing my voice: if you fall into that category and you are subscriber to the 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back podcast from Conor Lastowka and Mike Nelson of Rifftrax fame, you can listen to me trying to solve an Encyclopedia Brown mystery and, of course, talkin’ Slylock Fox, Encyclopedia Brown’s spiritual cousin in ratiocination, but with furries. “But, Josh,” you’re no doubt saying, “This isn’t a Slylock strip, it’s a Pluggers panel, an entirely different cartoon! Yes, they both feature unsettling human-animal hybrids, but the vibes are totally different! Slylock’s all unsettlingly amped up, while Pluggers is slow, desultory, depressing, fading slowly into nothingness but never quite getting there.” Well, what if I told you that the Encyclopedia Brown mystery we discuss involves a kid who’s a toilet paper collector? It does, and I’m sorry, this plugger clearly owns a “collection” rather than a “stash.” Each roll is lovingly displayed and meant to be examined again and again at leisure by this dog man and whatever weirdos he invites over to look at them. Real sicko stuff, in my opinion!
Hi and Lois, 11/16/24
I was briefly going to suggest that it would be funnier, or at least closer in structure to a “joke”, if Thirsty were just on his side of the fence here, basking in the stolen glow of his neighbors’ fire from his own yard. But I forgot that we’re in the bold new post-punchline era of Hi and Lois and I’m actually pretty OK with the offering we have here, where it’s clear that Thirsty has openly come onto the Flagstons’ property and lit a fire, and they’re standing at the window fretting about what if anything to do about it.
Shoe, 11/16/24
“Soon afterwards, he died of massive internal injuries. He was 56. Rest in power, Mr. Schwartz.”
177 replies to “Animal-people and people-people”
Rex Morgan: Did Truck just call Wanda “fat” right to her fat face?
Mary Worth Mashups: Any of them strike your fancy?
Pluggers:
That’s a delightfully perceptive comment from Mr. Jones, coming, as he does, from a town that can’t decide whether it’s a city or a state.
Hi and Lois-“Get me the hose.”
Dustin-I’m sure some people in the office paid for the bounce and jiggle.
FC-Dolly needs a lot of people who won’t testify against her.
RMMD-Suddenly Mary Worth’s ears perk up. “What’s this? Someone somewhere else is planning a big wedding?”
MW-“If marriage is out of the question how about we put our beds together?”
Hi and Lois-It’s official. Thirsty has been kicked out of the house and sleeps in whatever yard he drunkenly passes out in.
H&L: IDK, falling into a drunken stupor next to an open fire might solve the Flagston’s neighbor problems once and for all.
H and L:
“What’s the origin of that firewood, anyway, Hi?”
“They’re from the estate of the great outdoorsman and early health food advocate and pitchman, Gibbons.”
“You mean…?”
“Yep. Euell logs!”
H and L:
“Look, Lois! — our shrubbery is purple!”
“Hmm. Mary Worth must have been by.”
Steve Schwartz flew six feet in the air. Because he’s a BIRD, right?
RMMD:
“Honey, you know how it’s traditional for the bride to toss a bouquet at a wedding reception? — I’m gonna do a variation on that theme and throw a coffee cup and smash it against a wall!”
Shoe: If you’re doing a joke about birds, and your gag doesn’t actually involve flying, maybe “flew” isn’t the right verb. ‘Thrown’ was available.
Pluggers shit a lot, that’s the takeaway, right?
And suddenly it’s Dagwood.
HI & LOIS: The “joke” is that Hi and Lois was hoping Thirsty’s alcohol-fueled body would catch on fire that close to an open flame. “An accident” Lois suggested. “It’ll look like an accident and once they drag the drunk’s charred corps out of here, our property value will finally stop declining.”
Plugger son comes over and goes to hang his coat in the hall closet. “What the hell, Dad.”
Pluggers: Gotta say, the kinds of people who I see panicking about the risk of another pandemic are the exact opposite of Pluggers. Preppers aren’t Pluggers any more, get with the program!
Shoe: I’m glad the strip has finally entered the
2020s2010slate 2000s with its desktop LCD screen PCs, but it does make the big piles of paper harder and harder to rationalise. Is the Perfesser also a toilet paper hoarder? If so, I dread to think what it means that they’re all loose and crumpled.REX MORGAN M.D.: Truck: “Baby this is going to be such a big hit, I may be able to play at a second bar now!”
@Hibbleton: COTW!
Shoe: “Steve Schwartz flew in the air after being struck by a car. Since he’s a bird like the rest of us, though, that actually means he was mostly unharmed. In grimmer news, an embarrassing incident at Treetop Nursery left new mother Gertrude Grouse with egg on her face…”
JP: As a reminder, this week was supposed to be about Sophie introducing Neddy to Glen. Instead, the poor guy has been Lil Dunk’d in the beginning of his own story. We may never see him again.
MW: “Thanks for dinner, Jeff! I feel so lucky, and so loved!”
“About that… since you keep rejecting my marriage proposals, I was thinking we should probably start splitting the checks and-”
“Now, Jeff. You wouldn’t want to ruin a lovely evening by getting on my bad side, would you?”
“But it just feels like you’re using m-”
“You know, we really should be careful on our stroll. This time of year can be very dangerous. Why, I hear sometimes people suddenly just fall right off the boardwalk and break their ungrateful necks. We wouldn’t want that… would we?”
“…Yes, Mary. Of course. You’re very welcome for dinner.”
“And?”
“…And you are… loved.”
“I think we’ll both enjoy this walk after all. Oh, and don’t forget to leave a generous tip. I have a reputation to uphold.”
DtM: No malice on Dennis’ part. It’s only natural that his focus would be drawn to Henry’s two right feet.
Shoe: Don’t put “ironically” in front of your punchline if you can’t sing like Alanis.
RMMD: Rough sailing ahead for our happy couple. After roots country musician Truck proposed to Darla, she rushed out and bought the new album by alt-rock artist Nick Lowe. I foresee trouble brewing when the couple argue over the music for the wedding reception; Allison Krauss or Elvis Costello? If their music tastes are this divergent, can this marriage be saved? Maybe Mary Worth ca make a guest appearance to help this relationship.
FC: [Noting that shadows appear only under the children’s feet] I shouldn’t say I’m surprised that the Keanes have installed powerful de-lousing lights in their threshold.
@Blinky the Wonder Wombat:
…and bought the new album by alt-rock artist Nick Lowe
Mary is the living embodiment of “Cruel to be Kind.”
MW:
“Now, honestly, Jeff, do you reciprocate those feelings?”
“Mary, the adapted words of the Divinyls come to mind: ‘I don’t love anybody else/When I think about you, I shush myself/I shush myself/I honestly do….’ “
There’s at most 36 rolls in that closet. That’s enough for what? I guess enough for Mr Dog to die with dignity when his medications run out in cause society breaks down to the point there’s no more toilet paper. Come on, if you’re doomsday prepping you’re going to get at least one serious bulk pack with like 108 rolls. (I miss the grocer where I used to live in 2002.) This is such a well paid big city cartoonist elite, I’ve forgotten there are people who buy more than 4-8 rolls at a time to save money mood.
Is it oxymoronic to be classified as a “Plugger” when a defining characteristic of your lifestyle is the amount of preparation you devote to compensating for how your alimentary canal is in fact constantly un-plugged?
@Baja Gaijin:
#1, #2, AND #3, Baja, because they all feature The Barf Boat!.
Shoe- I may be as thick as a whale omelet, but why “pediatrician”. I was waiting for some sort of joke on that. Mr. Checkov would like to have a word with the writer.
@Hibbleton:
And when we observe her at work, we are “Cracking Up” — and not in a good way.
A Plugger-ism and about toilet paper and you don’t feature the bear-man? Are you telling me you’ve never seen a Charmin ad?
MW: “I feel so lucky, and so loved.”
“You are. I feel so used, and so toyed with.”
“You are.”
@Hibbleton: re Pluggers: “What the hell, Dad?”
“That’s your inheritance, son.”
Pluggers: I doubt pluggers have a huge need for toilet paper being plugged and all.
@Maltmash3r: I read it that way at first as well, but it says “pedestrian”, nit “pediatrician”.
GT: An excited Marty Moon calls the action: “AND GORDON FUMBLES THE BALL . . . Oh, wait, that’s not the ball, it’s seat cushion or something. Boy, I don’t know *what* the hell that is.”
Frazz: The solar system — just one more thing that doesn’t measure up to Caulfield’s standards. You suck, planets, and so do your stupid moons!
Blondie: “Yeah, I’m raking in extra moolah, Mr. B. Of course, these kids don’t have any money, so I make them steal it from their parents.”
JP: Must be nice to have so much money that you can afford to flit from coast to coast and back in one day just to satisfy your erratic, neurotic whims. In other words, to be a Spencer.
CS: Um, Batty, I believe that kids are not allowed to stand while the bus is moving, and therefore every one of them will have a seat available to them in the morning before . . . Oh, what’s the frickin’ use? Carry on, moron.
Pluggers: “Have you checked out my Patreon? How about the cool Hollywood people i hang out with now, have i ever mentioned them? Did you know i live in LA, the cultural
wastelandcapital of this country? Did i ever mention that I moved out here ten years ago to become a writer and/or standup comedian? Anyway, what’s this strip again, another Barney Google or something, look, just amuse yourselves, i have to practice my opening for next week’s podcast.”“Firebowl”? Isn’t that a brazier?
MW: “You are, dear! Lucky to BE loved, that is!”
@Baja Gaijin: #3.
Can’t wait for the next strip showing Mary stealing a pickup truck, getting a rope and dragging Dr. Jeff out of the Bum Boat parking lot.
Pluggers – A two week supply – BFD….
H&L – Shouldn’t Thursty have a bottle in a roll-down sack, a bindle, and a knife opened can of pork and beans heating up in the fire…
Shoe – Now he’s in a Red Bull commercial….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW- As Tina Turner said “What’s love got to do with it?”
MARY WORTH: I swear, Mary is the anti-Beyonce.
“If you like it you shouldn’t put a ring on it/If you like it, then you shouldn’t put a ring on it….“
Pluggers: ah, yes. The great Pandemic Toilet Paper Panic.
I saw a 90 year old Plugger grabbing 5 packs of 96 rolls FFOMO.
Angry Pluggers screaming at our employees for limiting sales of so many packages to a customer.
Plugger women standing post by our TP display area and calling their friends when our boys began unloading boxes.
Noticing at one point we had 12 different brands of TP. Some from foreign countries.
(I was hoping we’d get to the point of selling “Rough As A Cob”).
I’m sure our new Secretary of Health would prevent such panic when a new emergency arises.
Crank: That’s … that’s not even a thing Amazon does. That’s an “if airlines took kids to school” joke, maybe. The “upgrading” joke for Amazon is clearly that you need to subscribe to Prime to guarantee your kids will arrive the same day, or maybe go for the Prime TV analogy rather than delivery and say that without the upgrade, the kids are forced to spend the whole trip watching ads. It’s still not funny, for all the reasons Batty’s jokes about the bus service’s mistreatment of kids are never funny, but it’s coherent!
GT: Y’know, if anyone wants to reboot iconic British misery comic The Blind Ballerina, Merrill’s portrayal of sports action would be perfect!
JP: I don’t know why I phrased that thing yesterday about Ces’s Wheel Of Random Plot Developments as if it were a joke.
Pluggers: It was easy to miss because, well *gestures at the general state of the world,* but there was a brief run on toilet paper a few weeks ago when people feared the dockworker strike might cause a shortage. It was a needless panic as that particular supply chain was not expected to be affected and the strike lasted a grand total of three days, but it’s consistent with this strip and the general theme of Pluggers as ignorant reactionaries afraid of any change in their routine.
C’shaft: It’s funny because the privatization of an initially public service has resulted in people paying more out of pocket through nickel-and-dime pricing than they would through government taxes, while gaining nothing in efficiency or service. (On the plus side Batiuk has finally managed to be on the cutting edge of current events, even if it’s by accident.)
DT: Finally, the Dick Tracy/Slylock Fox crossover we’ve been waiting for!
Dustin: “And don’t think of backing out on the deal, because I’ve hired JImmy ‘No Shoes’ Vittorio to wait at the four-point-five mark with a tire iron.”
MT: Cherry demonstrating how difficult atonement is with a “cancel culture” mindset.
Phantom: The Ghost Who Runs Everything Behind the Scenes knows his colonial empire is in no danger, not while his benignly paternalistic form of imperialism is preferable to fake!Elon’s open belligerence.
Well, I thought it was funny DEPARTMENT
Rubes
@27 Cleveland Mocks: I’m glad someone saw that detail.
@30 Weaselboy: Bears don’t need toilet paper; they do that in the woods, along with the Pope.
@39 UncleJeff: Hmm…I don’t think I have the clip art to make that happen.
Hi And Lois: I’m formulating a theory that most newspaper comics take place in a bizarre world where you’re culturally discouraged from so much as standing up for yourself if someone is a dick to you, hence scenes like this where Hi and Lois act like there’s nothing to be done about Thirsty trespassing into their backyard and setting their stuff on fire, or the numerous installments of Dustin where the characters say things that would get you knocked on your ass in real life.
Shoe: This is making me realize that I have no idea what kind of writer the Perfesser is for the newspaper he works at. I swear, we’ve seen him writing for everything from finances to sports, and now he’s apparently in charge of obituaries (and amuses himself by writing nasty insults about the deceased as if that’s not a fireable offense). Between all that and the huge pile of papers around him, I’m starting to think Treetops Tattler-Tribune is so destitute that it can only afford a single writer.
Pluggers: It sort of hits home that the 18 pack of Northern Mega Rolls that I bought recently due to putting the last roll on the dispenser, is actually a multi-year supply for a person like me, who lives alone. I can’t help but buy the big package, given that it’s cheaper per unit that way, but yeah, the thing even says that it’s equivalent to 72 normal-sized rolls. I don’t know about that, to be certain, but I do know that each roll in the bathroom that I tend to favor like 80/20 lasts at least a couple of months, maybe more like three, meaning that I have what is probably up to a 5 year supply now.
Dear me, I’m a Plugger!
@Bob Tice: Our baseball group has a new member from Lower Sackville, Nova Scotia. I’d love to see a Plugger submission from there.
@35 Cleveland Mocks: on Gil Thorp: “…Oh, wait, that’s not the ball, it’s seat cushion or something. Boy, I don’t know *what* the hell that is.” I ran three clarifying filters on the strip. Which do you think reveals the truth?
Tiger Spanish to English.
Luann: Finally, someone’s getting some action. “You’re going to make the security guy come again!”
@UncleJeff: It was a self-fulfilling prophecy, as people were scared there would be a shortage, and were buying up as much as possible. creating a shortage…
Has anyone done a psychological study on this? (Just asking)
I frankly don’t think that the notion of Thirsty having the initiative to light a fire on his own fits his character. I’d rather imagine that his wife threw him out of the house and the Flagstons took pity on him, but not enough pity to actually let him stay in their house. They lit the fire and went inside while he gradually approached with his lounge chair, sniffing the air and looking about like a squirrel advancing on a freshly-filled bird feeder. Now they have to hope that Irma takes him back before he starts digging up their yard looking for the cans of beer he buried there last month.
Baby Blues: “Also we decided to wear each others underwear”
Marvin: Next week will be a recreation of the vomit scene from the critically acclaimed film Triangle of Sadness, but this is Marvin so there’s going to be poop as well.
Family Circus: Dolly wants to make friends now that she can later exploit for her personal gain.
Curtis: I’ve actually seen a lot of “gangsta” Popeye merch being sold where he has his pants sagging and references to the thug life and drug use. So a black Popeye movie where he has an Afro and Olive Oyl is a stereotypical Latina wouldn’t be that surprising, The character is almost 100 years old, gotta think of new ways to keep it fresh.
Kind of strange how Josh says “Mike Nelson of Rifftrax fame” but not “MST3K fame” which Mike Nelson is much more famous for.
FC – Omigod! Dolly grew up to be The Buttress!
Andertoons – Caulfield has an apprentice.
Pluggers – Thank goodness it isn’t “Pluggers save money by reusing toilet paper.”
S4th – Thank goodness this is tell, not show. If they actually showed Ronan doing that, Daisy would faint.
JP – Glen thinks, “My uncle murdered my father and dumped him in the ocean. We weren’t really concerned until Sophie saw his body when she almost drowned because we didn’t bother to warn her about the riptide. But that’s still not as fucked up as whatever is going on with this entitled asshole.”
9CL – Oh, pshaw. They’re going to do the same thing Mummy and Daddy did – leave in the middle of the ceremony to boink on one of the gravestones in the church cemetery.
Want to see a plugger revert to their feral state and maul you? Try suggesting they just install a bidet instead,
***
Pluggers don’t have clean towels because they don’t have anywhere to keep them. “Closets are for prepping, human!”
***
Does a bear plugger builds a shed in the woods to keep the toilet paper close for their shitting needs?
***
Damn it! The Charmin bears are pluggers! This explains everything!
Crap. I need an edit function. “Does a bear plugger build a shed in the woods to keep the toilet paper close for their shitting needs?” No S on “build”!
@Baja Gaijin: Mashups – I missed the detail of the sign on my first reading. That is so true.
I’d like to see Mary’s response to the third one.
@TheDiva: We went to Costco when that was going on to get paper towels, and they were cleaned out of all their paper products.
Dustin: “Yeah, so basically I’m rooting for my own daughter to suffer a terrible injury. But remember readers, Dustin is the one you’re supposed to hate in this strip, because he’s committing the terrible sin of not being able to find steady employment while under the age of 45.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Boss, do you know what day this is?”
“The day we celebrate the financial wizard whose shrewd decisions are responsible for all my fabulous wealth!”
“Hail to thee, dear Pola…!”
Pluggers are afraid Mr Whipple will come by and squeeze their toilet paper to shreds. Ironically they were the top “people” to complain when Charmin™ changed from an old store keeper to colorful bear spokesbeings.
@62 I speak Jive: Mary’s missing response panel.
@Tabby Lavalamp: Crap. I need an edit function.
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Won’t someone fix Tabby’s Marvin button?
@55 The Rambling Otter: Why would a study be needed? It’s obvious that stupid people believe stupid things other stupid people on social media post. It’s easier than thinking.
@61 Tabby Lavalamp: For three dollars a month you can get an edit button. Look at what’s behind the “Donate” link at the top of this page.
@The Rambling Otter: Kind of strange how Josh says “Mike Nelson of Rifftrax fame” but not “MST3K fame” which Mike Nelson is much more famous for.
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Guess Josh picked the wrong day to stop reading comics. (See if you can hunt for the common reference. Slylock knows….do you?)
@Baja Gaijin: Thanks! That panel is the gift that keeps on giving.
Curtis: I would totally greenlight a movie about Calvin Ellis, President Superman from Earth 23, as long as Grant Morrison is attached to script.
FG: “Well, he’s really more of an ourang-outang. But he’s Lion-ish.”
”He doesn’t….look….Lionish.”
Meanwhile, poor old “love her and leave her” Dale has to find something to do when she’s left behind at Lion Camp. I hope someone gives her a ball of yarn to play with.
Shoe-Steve Schwartz will be cremated with a meal following afterwards.
Far be it for me to tell King Features their business, but shouldn’t you hire “chix” with more than two brain cells?
@Liam: Shoe-Steve Schwartz will be cremated with a meal following afterwards.
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Hope that wasn’t Scratchy’s favorite TV producer, Steve “Sure Wood” Schwartz.
I don’t know that we’ve ever seen Ho & Lois full-on from behind like this. And on this exceedingly rare occasion, we don’t even get to see Lois’s booty?
Pluggers: It’s funny how “shortage” is written in quotation marks here, as if we don’t believe there really was a shortage — perhaps it was all some sort of economic power play on the part of Big Toilet Paper. Or, at least, that seems to be the thinking of one fellow from Indiana, Pennsylvania (a whimsically named region that is actually known as the “Christmas Tree Capital of the World,” and is also the birthplace of Jimmy Stewart — so its residents should be happy folks who are far too busy as the holiday season approaches to be thinking up Pluggers captions).
Hi and Lois: “Should we really leave a burning fire pit that close to our wooden fence? The instructions say it shouldn’t be near anything flammable.” “Don’t worry, Thirsty is blocking it — and his body won’t contain more alcohol than water for at least four more drinks!”
Shoe: Stephen Schwartz is actually one of the most popular musical-theater composers and lyricists in the history of Broadway. I’ve seen a lot of recent ads for the movie based on his show Wicked, but today’s strip is by far the weirdest promotion yet!
Whoops, that’s HI and Lois. I did not intend to cast aspersions on Hi. I’m sure he’s not a ho.
@The Rambling Otter:
Because he also mentioned Conor Lastowka, who is mostly known for Rifftrax (not MST3K).
@70 I speak Jive: It’s funny because it’s true.
@73 Liam: Is “cremated” used in the sense of “body parts dredged in flour and spices then placed in boiling oil until golden brown”?
@BigTed: Re “Shoe”: On the other hand, if you were hit by a car and flew six feet into the air, the song “Defying Gravity” would be the perfect soundtrack. “Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahhhahhh!”
PLUGGERS:. If we still have a stockpile of tp, it simply means there are no little kids in the house.
6C:. This exactly happened to me two weeks ago. Then stumbled across Beetlecreek by Demby which I didn’t remember reading. Got 100 pages in when violent ending came to mind. Rather than putting it back, I soldiered on– glad I did as I’m finding subplots I missed at age 19. Good reason to read– books may not have changed but our understanding has.
RMMD:. Calling on Estelle to give some advice. Or is this Wanda’s first wedding, making bridezilla excusable?
CANDORVILLE:. Worth a chuckle.
RMMD – Hey, She’s got “Indoor Safari” on vinyl! Looks like Truck mighht be bagging some big game!
Pluggers – Large leaf ground cover is free for the taking in the wild (speaking from experience)
@The Rambling Otter: Kind of strange how Josh says “Mike Nelson of Rifftrax fame” but not “MST3K fame” which Mike Nelson is much more famous for.
Josh is just trying to plug what Mike N is doing now, as opposed to his former glories.
@White Rabbit: In a just world, Mike and Joel would be President and Vice President of the United States by now. Or co-kings of Bikini Island, they can pick.
@Inspector Gotcha:
Dammit, I should have written “You are, Dear” both times instead of “You are.”
[slams hand in car door as punishment for screwing up comment]
@Baja Gaijin:
Ha haaaa, Wilbur’s head spiked in the end zone for the win!
@White Rabbit: I for one support the Joike party
Curtis: We all miss “The Boondocks” comic strip but it ended almost 20 years ago and Aaron McGregor doesn’t seem like he’s ever coming back.
Pluggers: After my parents passed away my sister and I had the job of cleaning out their house for sale. We found a linen closet jammed full of packs of toilet paper and jars of instant coffee.
@Bob Tice: #3: California, Pa. and Wyoming, Pa. seem to have the same confusion. At least Ohio City, Pa. knows where it stands.
Pluggers – Pluggers still buy their toilet paper in individual rolls, despite the savings afforded by buying in bulk. It’s a trait learned from their Great Depression-scarred grand-Pluggers.
Hi and Lois – It’s healthier for Thirsty to be outside even if the smoke blows directly into his face. His house is an unsanitary sty.
Shoe – There are definitely some small town newspapers that would run both this strip and an actual news story about this about their corrupt local law enforcement.
@mstgator:
But they can still find it funny, right?
@Guillermo el chiclero: We found a linen closet jammed full of packs of toilet paper and jars of instant coffee. I’m sensing a pattern here…
PLUGGERS: Briefly contemplating Dog Man’s body and whether he’s got a tail tucked away in those pants and where and how he would use so much toilet paper was more sicko than what Josh described. But I really couldn’t help it, ewwwwww.
@Bob Tice: Since a few other Mudges have gone in this direction, I know a couple of people in Nevada, Iowa. And the middle “a” is pronounced as in “stay.”
@Guillermo el chiclero: That seems rather sweet, really. *briefly thinks about what might be found in future cleanout of her own house* It could have been much worse.
@Poteet: New England Matriarch: “Here in Bahhhstahn, we pronounce it “Ohio.”
H&L: After seeing the expanses of monoculture mowed lawns in Panel Two, I like Thirsty’s invisible-in-today’s-strip unmowed property even more.
@Ukulele Ike: Bwahaha!
Pluggers – This is a dog, right? That toilet paper is just for show. He just scoots his butt across the living room rug.
JP: Bon voyage, Neddy! No need to hurry back! I mean that! A lot of us mean that!
@I speak Jive: *doubles over laughing* And it’s the same for the Cat Man. Let’s not even think about Henrietta.
@Poteet: I was gonna ask if they pronounce it “Nevayda, Ioway,” then remembered the ancient Bahhhstahn Iowa joke.
Have you seen the tee shirts with the silhouette of Ohio that read IOWA — THE POTATO STATE.” The ultimate coastal elitist dunk, if coastal elitists wore tee shirts that said stuff.
Don’t Flash Gordon: Dawn Patrol,of course, is that cute lioness hooker the Lion Troops keep visiting. Her slogan: Wake up with Dawn! She’ll fluff your mane!
@Ukulele Ike: #104: Alaskans have a T-shirt with a silhouette of Alaska and a silhouette of Texas plopped in the middle of it with room to spare. The caption reads, “Ain’t Texas cute?”
@Poteet: @I speak Jive: *doubles over laughing* And it’s the same for the Cat Man. Let’s not even think about Henrietta.
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If I need to poop/ I’ll use your stoop/ If I need to pee I’ll use your T.P. Cause I’m the Catman! Yes, I’m the Catman, and you’re working for no-one else but me!– George Harrison, “Catman” The Beatles, Revolver
RMMD: how will Truck’n’Mud respond when they’re sued by Bob Dylan for plagiarizing his song Simple Twist of Fate, which begins on a park bench?
In the Plugger world the Charmin bears killed Mr. Whipple by squeezing him in their jaws, then ate him.
@Poteet: JP: Bon voyage, Neddy! No need to hurry back! I mean that! A lot of us mean that!
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Charlie Brown hugs Neddy, “They said the same thing to me when I went to France.Don’t let it bother you.”
Neddy, her voice reduced to trumpet screeches in the presence of CB, can’t reply intelligently, oh wait, THATS her normal voice Isnt it?
RMMD: make it Truckin’ Mud, which I think would be a damn fine name for a roots country duo.
@nescio: In the Plugger world the Charmin bears killed Mr. Whipple by squeezing him in their jaws, then ate him.
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“Ladies! Please don’t eat the Whipple!” “Aw,Mom!, But he’s nicely marinated from all those times he played Drunk Guy Who Sees The Magic on ” Bewitched”!
@Ukulele Ike:
Downstate they pronounce it “Ah-hi-ah.”
Six Chex and A Cat Named Art Vandely In Search Of A Punchline: “You know, the second time you read Mobey Dick, the whale wins.”— Jerry Seinfeld.
@I speak Jive: #59
“S4th – Thank goodness this is tell, not show. If they actually showed Ronan doing that, Daisy would faint.”
“Whaaa…what now?? *slowly coming to…* Oh – Ronan?? *SWOON*
(I imagine him in real life as a handsome silver fox like Eric Braeden…)
Okay…back to my Saturday chores…sigh…
Dennis Minus Menace: Dennis’ Dad cut off his left big toe because Dennis said it looked fat!
H&L: So how long until Thirsty passes by the fire bowl and himself catches fire, the flames spread by the heavy alcohol content of his breath? I mean, it’s pretty much inevitable.
Shoe: Can we assume that Mr. Schwartz is another bird person? Could be he was just bumped by the roof of the car because he was flying too low. Once he elevated to six feet it was smooth sailing.
@Ukulele Ike: #85
I would love that! And Crow, Gypsy, Tom Servo and Pearl as Cabinet members! Make America laugh again!
@Inspector Gotcha: #86
Merciful heavens, you are way too hard on yourself! Just stick your finger into a light socket – far less blood!
@Anonymous: #89
“Boondocks” was such an intelligent, well-written and well-drawn strip. I miss it too.
@I speak Jive: #101
Ha!
C-Shaft: Makes no sense because your upgrade doesn’t increase the number of seats on the bus, but the week is over. The Amazon Prime riff is over. It had better be, anyway.
DT: Dick’s orders are just for everyone to keep doing what they’re doing, which presumably includes Sam wearing a comically oversized bowtie.
Dustin: Good thing he told her before the race. Hate to see a mob hit out on her because she made eight miles.
GA: Arty and the girls are about to be swallowed by the hungry black hole that—intuition tells me at least—has something to do with keeping Walt Wallet alive.
JP: Yes, brilliant idea to give your ex a surprise visit right after you find out that his business is a success. Hank has one security team for stalkers and another for gold diggers. Now they’ll both have something to keep themselves occupied.
MW: Bum Boat management will be relieved that they’re leaving. Mary and Dr. Jeff’s strongly bolded dialogue is disturbing the other patrons.
Phantom: “Not really. It’s just going to yak on and on until its battery rots out.”
@104 Ukulele Ike:
Iowa is the corn state. Idaho is the potato state.
@Bad wolf: It’s not my Patreon, Mike and Conor don’t live in Hollywood or LA, and this is the first podcast appearance I’ve done in … literally years? Since the Heathcliff podcast, which also was not based in LA? But, you know, other than that.
JP: Did the article mention Hank’s lovely wife and kids? Or did Neddy not read that far?
RMMD: I’m looking forward to the wedding night when Wanda lets down her beehive and hundreds of bees swarm out. Truck dies a painful death….
@Sequitur: Yeah, the joke is the tee shirt doesn’t know the difference between Ohio, Iowa, OR Idaho. They DO share quite a few letters, after all.
@126 Ukulele Ike:
I wasn’t sure what the hell the joke was or even if it was a joke.
@Poteet: The residents of the small town of Des Moines, NM, pronounce the “s” in both words.
@127 Sequitur: The joke, such as it is, is that those damned coastal liberal elites know little about flyover country. And it shows, on the shirt.
@Baja Gaijin:
How is it possible that the joke needs an explanation.
@Professor Well Actually: I guess Mud Trucker is too edgy, as they say.
Today’s Hi and Lois is baffling, I can tell what it is from the image, but really wtf is a “firebowl”? Josh is right that this is less a “joke” than it is “a bizarre situation”.
If you suffered a head injury and wandered away from an accident you had just been involved in, surely that wouldn’t count as an offense.
@129 Baja Gaijin:
To tell the truth I don’t pay attention or even care about most of what you guys talk about anymore. From this point on I’m going black. It’s time to move on.
@Liam: As long as it’s a pumpkin spice cremation.
@Jeffmcm: Some people like to rusticate on summer vacation at a cabin/cottage in the woods, mountains, or lakeside. One of the amenities is often a “fire pit” in which the family can enjoy an open fire in the evening, toast marshmallows, etc.
A Firebowl is a way to contain such an open fire safely, so these people can bring the experience back to their suburban backyards or patios.
@Baja Gaijin:
Yes.
@Lord Flatulence:
I wonder what that would be like. I should try that when my dad eventually dies.
@133 Sequitur: If you’re still paying attention, I will miss your commentary. Please stick around.
@Sequitur:
Is this the part where everyone comes out in droves and begs you to stay?
“Ironically”, Perfesser? The phrase “adding insult to injury” is right there.
@Blinky the Wonder Wombat: Lucinda Williams could be a workable compromise. She’s duetted with Elvis C.
@Bob Tice: “Yep. Euell logs!”
________________
You bet your hickory nuts!
Shoe: Someone flying six feet into the air after being hit by a car isn’t too unusual in a world of bird-people. Probably flew straight to the newspaper office to get his five minutes of fame logged.
@Baja Gaijin: What’s the deal with this Cat-bug thing crawling through 7-11s, Baja?
@144 GarrisonSkunk: The Cat-bug thing is jonesing for a Big Bite and a Big Gulp to wash it down.
@Cleveland Mocks: Downstate they pronounce it “Ah-hi-ah.”
And, you probably are aware, downstate they say Cin-ci-nnatta.
@146 Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I’m sending you one of these for Christmas, virtually of course.
@Ukulele Ike:
If Joel and Mike are walking around Bikini Island, they had better “watch out for snakes.”
@Daisy:
Merciful heavens, you are way too hard on yourself! Just stick your finger into a light socket – far less blood!
Thank you so much, Daisy. Actually, I used to do that. But after a while, I started to get a kick out of it. So that left me with no other options but the car door or reading LuAnn. And dammit, I’m not a big enough masochist to ever read that again.
But I appreciate the concern. Bless you.
@Grab a snickers:
@Sequitur: Is this the part where everyone comes out in droves and begs you to stay?
Yeah, let’s go with that.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
@Cleveland Mocks: And, you probably are aware, downstate they say Cin-ci-nnatta.
Binga! And the state Capitol is “Clums.”
BG&SS: John Rose is clearly a comic strip geek, and most of the folks here know what a “topper” is in comics jargon, and some of them maybe even knew about Bunky, but how many of his normal readers… Nevermind.
Geeks and ‘mudges are his audience now.
// Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Pluggers shit a lot, that’s the takeaway, right?
________________________
I believe Dungdash™ is the shit takeaway service, Scratchy.
@Nehemiah Scudder, yikes: BG&SS: John Rose is clearly a comic strip geek, and most of the folks here know what a “topper” is in comics jargon, and some of them maybe even knew about Bunky, but how many of his normal readers… Nevermind.
_______________________Did you know Snuffy has a dancing kangaroo named Joseph? John Rose knows.
@Cleveland Mocks: @Cleveland Mocks: And, you probably are aware, downstate they say Cin-ci-nnatta.
_____________
How do they say WKRP?
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: And in Cin-ci-nnatta, they eat “chili” made by Greeks with cinnamon, cloves, allspice, and chocolate in it, over boiled spaghetti. Covered with thick layers of cold kidney beans out of the can, chopped onions, and shredded Cheddar cheese (the “five way”).
Every man who can cook anything at all has his own preferred “bowl of red,” but any guy who’d adopt THAT, I would not shake his hand. I assume the Texans and other southwesterners here agree.
Well, I had a bit of bad luck.
I was going to make pancakes.
I couldn’t find the recipebook with the “good” pancake recipe.
So I had to use a different one.
Halfway through, I couldn’t get the paddle out of the mixer.
It was just stuck.
I asked my sister to help me, she couldn’t help and as she was about to leave, she accidentally walked into an open cabinet door that I had left open when getting the ingredients (she’s fine)
Then it turns out, I did something seriously wrong with the recipe. I paddled with the mixer when I should have whisked by hand. It came out as a sticky glop instead of smooth.
Had to throw the whole thing out.
Oh right… wow, these comics today are terrible!
@GarrisonSkunk: “John Rose knows.” Of course he does.
And not only does he know everything in the Wikipedia BG&SS article, as most of us do, but because he is the 3rd Creator, he has godlike poweres and can retcon any of that old stuff and add whatever new stuff he pleases.
// Maybe Buck & Mud from over at Doc Morgans can visit Hootin’ Holler for some rural roots research. What do think, Mr. Rose, sir?
@The Rambling Otter: Oh, I don’t know. In Flash Gordon we learned Flash is a LION! Nobody in Sky City called him a Hawk, they just made him shovel coal.
Helpful hint: if you can’t find the right cookbook, use the Internet. I own a couple hundred cookbooks (well, I haven’t actually counted them) but 90% of the dinners I’ve cooked over the past ten years are from the Internet. The Ukulele Lady is fond of the NY Times cooking app.
@Ne Scudder: Hootin’ Holler’s maybe too primitive for even roots county music. Have we ever seen one of those hillbillies with a banjo or a fiddle? Town dances are probably accompanied only with hand claps, and none of the locals are even able to keep the beat.
@Ukulele Ike: Maybe you should try going to Cincinnati instead.
@GarrisonSkunk: What do you call the excretion of a great ape who’s been eating pine cones? Euell Gibbons Logs….
@Ukulele Ike: Young Jughaid, nepotistic heir to the Smith empire, seems to be an avid guitar player.
@Cleveland Mocks: #151: There’s a big difference, culturally and politically, between Northern and Southern Ohio. One of the main reasons is the northern half of of the state was settled by New Englanders, mostly from Connecticut. The southern half by Virginians, who brought a more Southern attitude and is more WASPish ethnicity. The more industrialized northern part brought in a large population of ethnic Catholics (Irish, Italian, Polish, etc.) to work in the factories. Some people feel that they two halves should be separate states. Clevelanders used to joke that the Mason-Dixon Line ran through Medina, a city 30 miles south of Cleveland.
@Ukulele Ike: #156: We do. A standup comic from Texas, making fun of Cincinnati chili said we could could send a Mexican kid up there on a goat with an onion who’d put their chili to shame. Of course he’d need a ride back.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Here’s something to ponder: if the Greek immigrants in Cincinnati had decided not to call their dish “chili,” instead classifying it as a meat sauce, would the rest of the country still be fucking complaining about it?
@jroggs: Gertrude Grouse with egg on her face…”
__________________________
The Japanese chicken character who totes around an egg yoke with a face on it, dripping egg white?
@Dennis Jimenez: Is that a Shorty and the Beanpole joke?
@Bob Tice: As a Western Pennsylvanian, swooping in belatedly to defend the honor of Indiana, Pennsylvania: Indiana County, Pennsylvania, was organized between 1803 and 1806, before Indiana was ever a state. But I got no excuse for California, Pennsylvania.
[Various Wikipedia articles claim that Indiana County was ultimately named after the Indiana grant of the Treaty of Fort Stanwix but the sourcing for this seems nebulous. It might have been named after the Indiana Territory but that was only formed in 1800 so I’m not sure.]
@Baja Gaijin: I look forward to it.
. . . as I Bogart the 169 slot.
@Majicou: #165: I’ve long believed that. Since they like to dump it on pasta products they should’ve called it Greek spaghetti, then the hipster, coastal elite food critics would be raving over it.
@matt w: #168: According to my dad, a native of California, Pa., the town was founded in 1849 as a railroad tank water town. Since the California Gold Rush was the biggest news at the time the railroad executives decided the name California sounded good.
@165 Majicou: Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Yes. Words have meaning. Just like New York and its ill-named “egg cream” which has neither. It’s carbonated chocolate milk, damnit! ” “Sweet breads” are neither sweet nor breads. It’s organ meats.
H&L: I also don’t know WTF a “firebowl” is, but I presume that Thirsty is “blazing up” using said “bowl” and the artist is just censored from showing that.
@Baja Gaijin: A sweet bread walked into a bar and ordered a haggis and an ale, and the barkeeper said, “Sorry. We don’t serve food here…”
… and how was your day?
@matt w:
So when R. Dean Taylor sang “Indiana wants me/Lord, I can’t go back there,” was he singing about Indiana, Pennsylvania, or the state of Indiana?
If you look closely, you can see a big space in that plugger’s closet, underneath his toilet paper armory. I think that space is for him, and when he finishes his menagerie of wiping materials, he’ll celebrate by crawling under there, curling up, closing his eyes, and trying very hard to convince himself that he is just one more roll. Because being literally anything else is an improvement over being a plugger.