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Marvin, 12/7/24

Black Friday? Enh. Small business Saturday? Whatever. Cyber Monday? Who cares. The real biggest shopping day of the year, as anyone tapped into the retail scene knows, is December 7th, the day that shall live in infamy. Millions of Americans will spend the day solemnly remembering the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor by buying a bunch of shitty presents for their spouses that their spouses won’t like. It’s the reason for the season!

Mary Worth, 12/7/24

The thing about today’s Mary Worth is that it’s pretty funny as is but it’s really funny if you imagine every line being barked out as mirthlessly and sarcastically as possible. Give it a shot! Imagine that these two really dislike each other at the level of intensity that normal people would dislike Mary Worth and/or Wilbur Weston!

Hi and Lois, 12/7/24

I agree that snitching is bad, Ditto, but writing your name on the cookie box was a terrible choice. You just lost all plausible deniability! You self-snitched, which is just embarrassing.