Is Dennis wearing Santa pants? Not comfortable with that either
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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/10/25
Ha ha, can you imagine? The Smif and Barlow families would be lined up opposite each other, and Steve Harvey would shout out, “Things you carry home in a burlap sack!” And Barlow would buzz in first and smugly shout “Chickens!” but while he’s distracted, Snuffy jumps over the podium and charges at him with a rusty blade he had hidden in his overalls, eager to slit Barlow’s throat and finally declare victory in their long-running clan war, right there on national television. The little bastard doesn’t understand that TV shows aren’t broadcast live, but the footage will leak out anyway. It’s too sensational not to.
Bizarro, 1/10/25
Hey, did you know that the millions of toner cartridges and batteries we’ve produced over the past few decades all have souls? Or maybe they are the souls of the electronic equipment we stick them inside, I’m not 100% that I follow the cosmology here, but the point is we’re going to be encountering this stuff when we die and move on to the next world, and I think it’s going to have some questions for us that I for one am not sure I’ll be able to answer.
Dennis the Menace, 1/10/25
You know what’s real menacing behavior, Gina? Carrying around a 5 x 7 wedding picture of your parents outside in the middle of winter while you tell people about this. What if you drop it in the snow?
71 replies to “Is Dennis wearing Santa pants? Not comfortable with that either”
BG&SS: Shouldn’t that be “Fam’ly Fyood?” Consistency in style, dammit!
DtM: Dennis is too young to be doing a Santa ‘you sit on my lap and tell me what you want’ cosplay with Gina. More like Alice, being the horrible housekeeper she is, his Halloween costume bottoms are the only clean pants he has left to wear.
MW – Triptides are an actual LA-area band, known for their “sun-warped psychedelic rock.” Dawn and Dirk are stoned AF, is what I’m sayin’.
DtM: The funny thing is that there probably is an unpleasant reason for Gina’s parents to reset their marital vows and it’s probably been very traumatic for Gina watching them deal with it. Dennis naturally sniffed out that weakness immediately, and Gina will deeply regret this moment forever.
Biz: When did Josh start covering Never Been Deader?
Blondie: Decent relatable social commentary in Blondie! Shame it was an accident.
DT: These techs seem to be a bit underdressed considering they’re searching for a presumed explosive or CBRN threat. What exactly did Dick Tracy even tell them? Still, kudos to Dick for finally realizing that he and his team are frauds and the most responsible thing he could do was call the real police to investigate this case.
JP: It would be strange enough for Yelich to assume completely baselessly that Ann had been hiding locally at all, but what really makes today Judge Parker gold is Yelich’s demand to know who helped Ann “sneak into town.” The mind reels at attempting to comprehend this question. Is Cavelton set in a dystopian future where people are implanted with electronic chips that send signals based on their proximity to their hometown? Is Cavelton a CIA secessionist city-state that is surrounded by checkpoints and border patrols? Is Cavelton the last bastion of humanity, a walled fortress holding out against the sieging forces of the Plugger Armored Rusty Pickup battalions and Slylock Fox’s Dirty Dozen convict commandos in the waning days of the Animalpocalypse? Or does Francesco Marciuliano just like writing words without thinking about them at all?
Luann: All right, who’s ready for another batch of “Everyone competes to be Piro’s emotional wheelchair” stories? Show of hands! …Anybody? Huh. I guess all your shoulders must be sore or something. That’s okay. This is going to be great!
MW: Seeing that the “Triptides” are an actual West Coast psychedelic rock band is a little disconcerting. Dropping acid makes Dirk way cooler than he should be.
RMMD – Kelly is like a Bizarro World Dawn Weston: Nice, pretty, congenial, and not batshit insane.
DtM:
“My parents are going to renew their vows.”
“Dammit, Gina! Your parents still fuck!? Yuck!”
DtM: Santa pants, Santa hat but black, sky-blue shirt, corduroy vest, Lime-green and black scarf, (squints) ice skate boots?…is his mom drunk or is the artist drunk?
Luann : Did elves come in and clean Luann’s filthy room?
DtM:
“Dennis, why did your parents apparently think that it was so cold that they had you wear a hat, a scarf and boots, but you have no gloves?”
“Listen, Gina, I don’t have any control over the creative process here. I just show up the way I’m inked, and then they give me a line!”
Bizarro:
“I can see that we’re all going to have to make do with the skeleton crew we have on premises today!”
BG&SS:
“I was gwin have ya turn on a Hee Haw syndication instead, Parson, but they just ain’t colloquial enough on that there show for us’n!”
Bizarro: So in the afterlife (or whatever this is), nerds have glasses even when they no longer have eyes, huh? Good to know.
MW: Forget Waldo. Where’s Michael Nesmith?
MW: “When I say hit it, I want you to hit it!”
“When I say quit it, I want you to quit it!”
“Now hit it!”
“Now quit it!”
No seriously Dirk, quit it.
Bizarro: Dammit. As a minister, one of the questions I get asked the most frequently by children is “Do pets go to heaven?” Now I’m going to have to answer about toner cartridges? I’ll have to provide batteries hospice services?! Dammit.
@Anonymous: Oh, for God of the living and the dead and the modern-day office supplies: that was me. Josh, no offense, but your cookies suck.
MW: I don’t go to a lot of concerts. Is it normal to watch one band (The Triptides) while wearing a T-shirt for another (ACDC)?
Dennis: Those are not Santa pants. They’re the legs of his normal red overalls along with the fuzzy tops of his winter boots.
@Pozzo: Maybe they just like it for the fashion?
Dennis the Menace: Speaking of razor blades, Margaret is going to be seriously pissed when she hears Gina is muscling in on her “suggest marriage to Dennis” racket. At least she will be until she sees Dennis wearing that Nilsson-esque cape and singing “Coconut.” There’s no competing for that.
DtM: Dennis’ parents won’t bother renewing their vows because there’s no Start Over Child-Free option.
MW: I’m not sure which I want; for Dawn to throw Dirk under a passing bus now, or for Dirk to stick around long enough to meet Wilbur, so he can give him a clever nickname, too.
Gina’s parents don’t f*ck. Dey make-a da amooore.
Wrecks Moregone:
At least can we have what’s her name be home invaded by an escaped homicidal lunatic and taken hostage or something? Since we’ve been told overandoverandover that she’s all alone, can something be done to make this at least momentarily a mite interesting?
BG&SS – Family Feud did a week of shows on the Hatfields and McCoys in 1979. The difference is that feud was legendary, whereas too few people read Barney Google and Snuffy Smith for this to be a ratings mover.
Bizarro – So, if electronics have souls, that means when we buy them we are “adopting” them? Does that make everything we buy that features a digital computer a “Babbage Patch Kid”?
Dennis the Menace – Dennis’ outfit is a menace to fashion.
I refused to believe that Dennis is smart enough to have thought up that joke, so he must have heard dad say it at some time and his mother politely snickered so now he has the chance to repeat it even though he doesn’t really understand what it means.
Pigborn:
Can anytime recall how many years ago it was that Brooke began this….story?
Wary Morth:
Tomorrow, while walking around barefoot at home, Dusk stubs her toe.
Dirk: “Limpgirl!”
Day after tomorrow, Dusk scalds her hand while filling a hot water bottle.
Dirk: “Blistergirl!”
The day after tomorrow, Dusk mentions that she soaked in the bath too long and got wrinkled.
Dirk: “Sharpeigirl!”
Snuffy Smith-They are actually watching a documentary on the Hatfield-Mccoy feud.
FC-Lifting Dolly just once took so much out of Daddy.
MW: I’m not really sure that Dirk is actually making fun of Dawn anymore…I think he might just be an unbelievable moron…
@Ukranazi Stepan: Four days shy of exactly six years ago.
DtM: What’s with the performative jazz hands? It’s like we’re viewing Dennis on Broadway; is a song forthcoming?
RMMD: From the looks of p. 2, Mom takes her teeth out before she eats ice cream. Does this mean she’s a Plugger or something?
CS: Gomer here appears not to have any grasp whatsoever of the essence of the problem. But this still makes him only the second-dumbest person in the room.
JP: “Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies. Ask me questions, I will make a politician seem honest.”
GT: “What, you’re too old to give me a kiss before bed now [at 6:45 p.m.]?”
“Your adherence to heteronormality as a lifestyle disgusts me. And I don’t know what this amorphous stuff on our plates is, but none of it looks like sweets, pizza, or tacos. This, too, disgusts me. I’m going out for a burger.”
Actually the Richard Dawson “Family Feud” once did do a special show with the descendants of the Hatfields and the McCoys.
Bizarro: “Deadbert”
B. Bailey: Martha decides to be proactive about Amos’ health: “If you think you’re getting half my liver, you got another thing coming.”
@GarrisonSkunk: Still more alive than Dilbert has been for years.
Bizz — Toner cartridges have souls? Must be why they’re so da*m expensive!
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Josh, no offense, but your cookies suck.
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Josh proudly uses Mary Worth’s own Talk House® authentic chocolate chip salmon cookies.
RMMD: Well folks, I think we all know the cure for an “empty house” – an adorable Animal Companion! Yessiree, we’ve been shoppin’ the idea of more Animal talent here since they hit a home run in the ratings with Buster! Now I realize if we place a Dog or Cat as Summer’s pet, there’s a chance he’ll jump ship and join them as a permanent cast member. But that’s OK if it gives one of our clients a chance to fulfill their dreams of a secure future in Show Biz.
As I say, we’ve been in delicate negotiation with Mr. B about this new character direction, though he’s still considering the gentleman friend option. But I think he’ll come around when he runs the numbers. Two-legger guys are expensive and unpredictable, with questionable audience appeal, while our professionally trained Animal talent can totally SAVE a weak storyline.
Hey, Intern – did Mr. B’s weekly gift basket get delivered today? Good. I’m glad we chose the deluxe option. Nothing but the best…
@Pozzo: Bizarro: So in the afterlife (or whatever this is), nerds have glasses even when they no longer have eyes, huh? Good to know
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“Nerdcorpse!”- Dirk Tandy, adapted.
Slylick Fox and Comix For Kinx: Disney trys to take over the Harry Potter franchise.
Just a shout-out for “The Legend of Bill” (one of the better strips out there) and its recent tribute to some classic female comic characters.
Friday, Jan. 2: A whimsical witch.
Monday, Jan. 6: A skinny Minnie, a nosy biddy, a hillbilly housewife.
Tuesday, Jan. 7: A mythological mare, a toddler threat, a famous flapper.
It’s a 3-per-week strip, but it’s been presenting a long continuing story. Hope it’s collected some day.
Snuffy might do better on Survivor. Living in Hootin’ Holler preps you for it.
Why is Josh uncomfortable knowing that Dennis harvested Santa’s legs? Does he want menace or doesn’t he?
BGSS: I’ve never been on Family Feud, but isn’t choosing your opponents one of those things they don’t let you do because we’re not having another Twenty-One situation?
Bizarro: So our landfills are really mass graveyards for electronic waste? That sounds like a horror movie waiting to happen.
“Ahahahaha… heh… but seriously, Reverend, you should get home and stay down tonight. Me and the boys are gonna ambush Barlow and you don’t wanna git hit by a stray shot.”
BG&SS – So…they live at the Hootin’ Hollar ol’ folks home….
Bizzaro – His name is Scythe. ;Si!
DtM – Best if divorced by 1/2025….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
C’shaft: Short of very remote, low-populated areas and special needs students, is there anywhere in suburban America where school buses pick kids up right at their doorstep? Because I’ve never been there.
Dustin: Come on, Dustin, you walked right into this one.
GT: So, we’re still on the “quietly ignoring” phase of Keri’s eating disorder?
JP: One does not simply walk into Cavelton, I guess.
MT: Great, you have a positive ID of the back side of a store-bought costume.
MW: And it all comes back to Stevie Wonder.
Phantom: I’m not sure what kind of hierarchy the cosplay community has, but I imagine “thug punched by the Phantom’s skull ring” is the absolute lowest echelon of it.
RMMD: Man, imagine how boring your life would have to be for Kelly to liven it up.
@astroboy: BG&SS: Shouldn’t that be “Fam’ly Fyood?” Consistency in style, dammit!
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I think that would be “fambly” in the hillbilly dialect.
Bizarro: There was a Stephen King movie back in the ‘80s called “Maximum Overdrive” where all the cars and trucks and machines suddenly come to life. It didn’t make any sense but neither does this cartoon.
Why are all these Grimm Reapers so short? Do “little persons” become Reapers in the afterlife? Is Gary Coleman a Reaper because that might be kind of cool. Actually I want Kenny Baker who played R2D2 in Star Wars or maybe the guy from Fantasy Island.
@Guillermo el chiclero: #9 Did elves come in and clean Luann’s filthy room?
Yes! And they left Puddles exactly where he was! It’s elf magic!
Dave Reddick does a good job with the strip. Followed it the first time and glad it’s been back for a while. Good twist on d & d characters.
@TheDiva: “Thug punched by the Phantom’s skull ring wearing fishnet stockings” was HUGE at last year’s ComicCon.
“Family feuds” referred to the pre-modern situation in which weak state authorities were unable to enforce the monopoly of violence and fair justice, leading to constant violence and an unbroken chain of revenge. In the USA, this existed where state authorities were distant and weak, such as Appalachia or the Wild West. Later, in the pacified modernity, “family feud” became just a cutesy title for a televised competition, without any real stake or threat of violence. This is typical of the domestication of violence by modernity. But then, Snuffy Smiths sees this in television and wants in, even if the TV’s “Family Feud” is not the same “Family Feuds” he lives in. It’s the triumph of postmodernism, when media depiction overwrites the meaning and existence of actually existing reality!
Mmmm Gina. Renewing vows is something established couples do after twenty years of marriage, at least, and your parents cannot have been married for more than ten years, since you’re six year old and don’t seem to have any older siblings. So Dennis is right, your parents’ marriage is on the rocks
MW: Dirk never heard of Ray Charles.
“Barlow keeps chickening out. By which I mean that I enter their house in the middle of the night, I throw him in the burlap sack and then I cut his head with an axe, roasting his body to celebrate my victory”
BGSS: A better reason for Snuffy not to go on “Family Feud” is that he doesn’t have a full complement of family members to constitute his team. Teams on “Family Feud” consist of five members, but Tater is too young to talk and I assume Jughaid is too young to compete on the current version of the show.
If Snuffy or Loweezy have three other adults in their extended family, I don’t remember seeing them. I think Snuffy’s father once visited, but that’s it. (Snuffy did recently claim to be close to most of his family but not so much that we the readers would know who most of them are.)
MW-Moy’s inserting of Stevie Wonder is like the person who gets a word a day calendar and tries out a new word every chance they get.
Hi and Lois: He’s having extremely disturbing thoughts of violence and also sexual deviance, he really should see a mental health expert before he hurts someone.
Beetle Bailey: Gen Halftrack needs that drink before he can do anything with his wife. She wishes he could make love to her sober but after many years of marriage she knows that will never happen.
Family Circus: He’s starting to wonder why all his kids are so unnaturally obese when neither he nor his wife are.
Curtis: What old sitcom is this story plagiarized from? I want to say “All in the Family” but there might be an episode of “Good Times” or some other show I’ve not seen.
Mother Goose: Why would you choose the name “Kitty” for your bird lady?
@jroggs: #4
“Biz: When did Josh start covering Never Been Deader?”
I know – right?? I actually enjoy that comic, mostly for the bizarre art, sardonic humor and somewhat true-to-life capture of the ennui of a typical work day…but it is kind of a downer!
BG&SS: The descendants of the Hatfields and McCoys have actually made a cottage industry out of their historic feud, catering to tourists.
@White Rabbit: Tomorrow, the Louis Braille jokes start.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: #17
“…but your cookies suck.”
They’ll never be as good as grandma’s cookies…
@Anonymous: #16
A hospice for batteries would be a charging station, wouldn’t it? or maybe the kitchen jink drawer where old batteries go to die…
P.S. I’m curious – how do you answer the question of pets and heaven? My cat wants to know. :-)
“My parents are going to renew their vows.” TFW your parents are going to renew their vows!
@White Rabbit: #57: Or Ronnie Millsap.
@Joshua K.: #59: Since the people of Hooten Holler are so inbred they’re probably all cousins to some degree, so rounding up a family team of five shouldn’t be a problem for Snuffy.
DtM – Gina’s mom must be in tech. Because she assumes that when something’s not working, you just reboot it and hope that fixes things. Until Dad comes home with another virus.
@Phantom Phan: #43
It is one of the more clever strips out there!
@Liam: #60
That’s untenable!
*Merriam-Webster’s word of the day for 1/10/25 :-)