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Pluggers, 5/12/25

Man, the facial expressions in this one really make it, and by “make it” I mean “make it clear what a grim marital scene these two will be enduring for the rest of their lives.” Obviously the focus is on how the kangaroo lady is willing to go into bug-eyed urinary discomfort if it means she gets to experience a few more precious minutes spent not watching sports, but don’t ignore the bear man’s hooded eyes: he’s very much aware of what’s going on and is seething that his wife is willing to go to such lengths to stymie his desires. The really sad thing is that this plugger couple has also brought us “bear man wants to watch TV even though kangaroo lady is desperate to leave the house and do literally anything else” and “bear man is going to get kangaroo lady so drunk that she passes out so he can watch what he wants, and he considers this better than sex,” so this isn’t even the most depressing TV-related glimpse into this marriage that this trip has provided us with. Anyway, if the kangaroo lady really wants to keep the TV tuned to her channel while she’s in the bathroom, she could just take the remote with her. Obviously the bear man could get up off the couch and change the channel, but trust me, he is not going to get off the couch and change the channel.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/12/25

Look, I don’t want to minimize how scary it would be for the police to incorrectly suspect you of murder, but the length of time during which the police incorrectly suspected Augie of murder started when the beat cop showed up on the scene and decided to do as little work as possible and mostly ended when the homicide detective showed up and decided the stalker had been murdered by drugs, and then the whole thing was definitively put to rest when the real murderer called the cops and was like “actually it wasn’t a drug overdose, it was murder, and I, not Augie, am the murderer.” It’s always hard to tell how long things take in the comics but the first part took maybe an hour and I believe the second part was wrapped up by the end of that night? “A while” is really stretching things, is what I’m saying here.

Mary Worth, 5/12/25

The big narrative tension in this storyline is that we know that Belle is a murderous psycho and Dawn suspects but cannot prove that Belle is a murderous psycho, but it’s not clear if Wilbur thinks Belle is completely normal or is ignoring obvious warning signs because he is desperate for sex. I kind of feel like today’s strip points towards option two, as Wilbur does not take the obvious opportunity to have Belle come over to Mary’s apartment for a muffin sesh, indicating that he clearly knows such a scenario would end very badly. However, he’s not smart enough to realize that the arrival of the latest issue of Fish Fancy might lead Belle to realize how emotionally involved he is with his fish, which could be bad news for Willa.

Bizarro, 5/12/25

Hey, how do you think this ghost is going to get that cereal inside his body? Will he just dump it in through one of his eye holes? Will that interfere with looking at his phone? Sorry to dig into the details like this, but we’re all going to be dead someday and I honestly would like to know as much as possible about the mechanics in advance.

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Hi and Lois, 2/27/25

Now, like me, you probably read this strip and immediately recoiled in disgust at the implications: that Chip is in the living room watching pornography on the TV, eyes bugging out and the biggest smile we’ve ever seen on his face, Ditto snitching to his mom about Chip watching porn, his mom saying “He’s 15, he’s old enough to be watching porn, right there in the middle of the living room.” But upon reflection, I’m pretty sure “love scene” is not meant to be taken as a euphemism. Sure, there might be some erotic aspects, but the emphasis in whatever Chip is watching is clearly on the strong emotional connection between two people in a beautiful and mutually affirming relationship. He looks so deliriously happy because his own family is miserable and he’s only now learning that something this wonderful is even possible for human beings to experience.

Archie, 2/27/25

The spit take is a classic comedic bit, but I do enjoy that Jughead is not phoning it in at all here. He looks genuinely disgusted at Archie’s latest romantic crisis; despite the fact that he’s the comics’ #1 asexual/aromantic icon, Jughead sees Archie’s inability to juggle his emotional responsibilities to his two paramours as a skill issue, and holds his friend in contempt for failure to meet the moment.

Bizarro, 2/27/25

You ever think about how someday you’ll die, and maybe afterwards you’ll linger as a spiritual being of pure energy, and also maybe you’ll continue to have some sort of boring office job that involves phone calls that you’ll try to avoid? Better to not think about it too much, as it’s probably not going to make you feel any better about dying.

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Andy Capp, 2/21/25

Among the strips I’m starting to revisit is Andy Capp (never forget: ANDY CAPP!), and of course, there’s an important question one asks when starting to read this beloved British comics institution after the better part of a decade: is Andy Capp still a drunk? He’s a drunk, right? That’s his whole thing? Today’s strip, in which we learn that Andy would rather die horribly than spend his precious beer money on professional services of any kind, affirms this timeless truth.

Dennis the Menace and Bizarro, 2/21/25

One of my comics pet peeves is characters saying stuff they would never actually say (or having it implied that they said it moments before the in-strip action) just to set up a punchline. Take today’s Dennis the Menace, for instance: Surely a mail carrier would be much more likely to ask “Is he friendly?” or “Does he bite?” in a scenario where he’s encountering an unfamiliar and unleashed dog, as that would be relevant to his professional interests. Why on earth would he care about the dog’s peeing/pooping situation? I was planning on going on a whole diatribe about how cartoonists are simply obsessed with peeing and pooping, but then I read today’s Bizarro and immediately thought “Wait, is the implication here that Jesus drinks water and pisses out wine? Because that’s what the ‘In’/’Out’ labels pretty heavily imply to me,” so you know what, maybe I’m part of the problem.

Archie, 2/21/25

Reggie Mantle generally gets a bad rap, as he primarily exists in the Archieverse as an antagonist for our pals, but you know what? He’s absolutely in the right here. Is the student newspaper a joke to you, Jughead? Some of us are trying to learn about the practice of good journalism here!

Judge Parker, 2/21/25

Being best college buds with Sophie seems like fun — like, you get invited to bumpin’ party weekends out in the Hamptons. There are downsides, of course — like, said party weekends involve discovering corpses — but you have to take the good with the bad. Still, I don’t think it’s right that Sophie made Reena watch dronecam snuff footage without any warning or even anything fun as a lead-in (having to hang out with Randy Parker does not count as fun).

Daddy Daze, 2/21/25

Oh, Daddy Daze daddy, you and I both know that none of that ever happened! Why would you lie to your son about this?