That head’s way too big, honestly very unsettling
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/22/25
So with Kelly out of the house, Summer has been whining about being bored and lonely to everyone she knows, and by “everyone she knows” I mean her daughter and her two coworkers and that’s it, which is very clearly part of the problem. The way the whining went is that she would say “What if I got back into the dating scene! Ha ha! Wouldn’t that be crazy” and other people were like “Uh you know there are lots of other things you could do outside the house, right” and Summer was like “What I’m hearing is that you think I should find a man, for sex.” Anyway, I’m loving the footnote in panel two, assuring us that Summer’s first pass at finding a sex partner isn’t really ending with the guy having a stroke right there at the table and Summer just sighing heavily rather than attempting to find medical help for him. He’s just boring!
Slylock Fox, 1/22/25
Both these panels take place as part of the awful Event that saw animals abruptly become sapient and our human world violently transformed into the animal-dominated realm of Slylock and his Forest Kingdom apparatus of oppression. In the first panel, the wolf, still puzzled by his newfound knowledge of the world, is merely aping the predatory stories he’s discovered in human fairy tales about animals; in the second, the wolf is angry at the humiliation heaped upon the animal characters in those books and has decided to elaborately act out one of those stories but change the ending in an act of bloody revenge. It’s a subtle change but I trust you are discerning enough to pick up on the different vibes. In both panels, that’s a real human femur leaning up against the bed, licked clean, as evidence of the carnage that’s already occurred and an indication of more to come.
169 replies to “That head’s way too big, honestly very unsettling”
RMMD-How the readers feel when they read ‘Rex Morgan’.
MW-Jared will just sit there and make passive aggressive comments about Dirk.
RMMD: Anyone want to take bets on how long the terrible date montage will last and whether or not the guy she has a good first date with turns out to be a psycho?
Slylock Fox: tangentially related to the strip, it always weirds me out whenever I see Little Red Riding Hood and Big Bad Wolf costumes together during Halloween, because it’s really clear that the people in them just do not get what the original story is a metaphor for.
FC: An angry Billy replies; “Great! Next time you change PJ!”
The plate-licker! Can Winter please next date the plate-licker?
Wary Morth:
Doesn’t Whatsername Jaredsdater know how to talk?
SFox: In the left panel, you see one of Grandma’s leftover bones and an apple. In the right panel, you see one of Grandma’s bones and her heart.
Slylock: In the new political climate, Weber feels free to include a human femur in his children’s story art.
RMMD: I’d be amused if the footnote read: “In the Bantu tongue.”
MW: “We’ll have the steak platter, and these two losers will have the eggplant souffle.”
[Jared thought balloon] “Wow, controlling much? But I’m not going to say anything. I hate eggplant, but I don’t want be a jerk like him.”
[Jess thought balloon] “Oh for God’s sakes, grow a pair, Nerdboy.”
RMMD: Look at this chump, talking about classic cars that he restores, something that requires knowledge, skill, and dedication! Doesn’t he know the way to a woman’s heart in this comic is through roots country or neo-vaudeville performance art?
Ah well, at least when Summer winds up with her own Dirk, we’ll be able to compare and contrast how Beatty handles negging and gaslighting as compared to Moy.
@Liam: On MW: Correction, he will THINK passive-aggressive thoughts at Jared.
REX MORGAN M.D: I think the thing I’m loving is that “He’s just boring!” is suddenly considered a bad thing in the Rexverse, instead of an aspiration goal (with the incing on the cake being that the thing this dude is babbling on about, restoring vintage cars, is the obsession of her daughter boyfriend. Ha, in your face, Niki! Even the narrative thinks you’re boring as shit!)
CS: Sheesh, when Skip picks his nose, it must take him a good hour or so.
FC: Billy’s been eating his poop again.
RMMD: This guy’s on his first date too, and he’s just trying to get a conversation going. What do you want to talk about, Summer? Flower arranging? Your daughter?
JP: “I don’t think I can hate you more than I do right now.”
“I see. Well, I totally respect that. Next time, tell somebody who cares. Thanks for dropping by.”
RMMD: Pretty bold of Rex Morgan M.D. to clown on this dude for being boring when the major action in their last storyline was “old man sits on bench, and sometimes gets up from bench.”
RMMD: See, Summer? If you’d taken up a hobby, YOU could be the conversation hog on this date!
MW: Yes, Jared is Captain Sensitive, defender of the downtrodden, blah di blah blah. But can anyone truly picture his moves being anything but pure Dudley Do-Right?
JP: “…but Dad funneled his sorrow into writing his successful novel, The Chambers Affair” so I guess it all worked out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go talk to St. Jude sitting at the table behind us.”
@The Quiet Man:
Ha, ha ha, like that’s going to happen. That’s potentially interesting, and we all know that this strip has a 300 feet restraining order against interesting developments. Basically what’s going to happen is just want we see: Summer going on boring dates, with the narration telling us there are “boring” since it’s the only way to distinguish them from the other guys in the regular cast rambling on about the same type of topic.
MW: The entrées in that place must be served on coffee saucers. It’s the only way to fit four meals in the cramped space they’re all sitting at.
RMMD: “So how about I take you home and put you up on the rack, lubricate your chassis, and give you a ring job?”
MW: Jared probably shouldn’t worry about Dirk as his face is continuing to melt…might wanna get that looked at.
I wonder what ELSE Dawn is, but not when she’s with Dirk…
MARY WORTH: Ah, this is what a master of her craft! See, an amateur would have just been focused on Dirk being an asshole. But only a true artiste would dedicate time to dive into the sniveling, passive-aggressive thoughts of an additional character so that he can be almost as almost as unlikable and insufferable as an actual abuser! That? That’s just finesse right there (chef’s kiss!)
MW: ‘We’ll both have the steak platter, and Nerdgirl here will be picking up the check for the table!’
MARY WORTH: Also, Jess has not said anything or reacted to this story in any way at all, so we can all safely assume that Jared dumped the real Jess a while ago and used her likeness to create an A.I. “love doll” faster than you can say Lars and the Real Girl, yes?
I was offended that they felt they needed to spell out what “blah blah blah” means until I remembered that this is the age of the internet and I’ve been on social media too.
Rex Morgan, MD: I know that sketching in background locations and characters is a time-saving device in comics and animation. I still want to know what the food tastes like at the Unsettling Purple Void Diner.
Marvin: The teacher shows Carl a brown kiwi and tells him it’s an orange. The teacher hates Carl.
Peanuts Begins: Charlie Brown’s a southpaw in this one (just like ’57 Chevy Guy in RMMD). He later is a righty. What’s going on here?
Rex Morgan – The estate of Charles Schulz is going to sue Rex Morgan for infringing on it’s trademark “trombone talk” for adult conversation.
Slylock Fox – Bob Weber Jr. has foreshadowed the outcome of this version of the story by including the image of a ghost Little Red Riding Hood in the picture frame. She’s not making it out alive, which, thanks to animals gaining sapience, has evened the competition between man and beast. A girl of her age should be able to differentiate her grandmother from a wolf, and now she will be subject to the Law of Natural Selection that humankind’s monopoly on sapience had previously shielded her from.
LUANN – Where can you find pleasure?
Search the world for treasure
Learn science technology
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true?
On the land or on the sea
Where can you learn to fly?
Play in sports and skin-dive
Study oceanography
Sign up for the big band or sit in the grandstand
When your team and others meet
In the navy
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy
Come on now, people, make a stand
In the navy, in the navy
Can’t you see we need a hand?
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland
In the navy
Come on and join your fellow man
In the navy
Come on people, and make a stand
In the navy (in the navy), in the navy!
RMMD: I can’t believe I’m complimenting Mary Worth here, but when that strip did a week of “Estelle dating men from an app,” it was entertaining.
MW: Anticipating Dawn’s company later that week, Mary has purchased all the extremely expensive ingredients needed for her to prepare a 100% vegan dinner, happily imagining Dawn’s pleasure at her cooking skills and the huge effort she has put forth once again. She struggles to carry the two heavy grocery bags, shifting them in her arms as she walks home. Suddenly, as she passes by Joe’s, she spies Dawn sitting at a table with her ex-boyfriend Jared and that mute girl he’s dating now, along with some young man she hasn’t met.
“He’s really built!” Mary thinks. But as she admires the studliness of Dawn’s companion, she suddenly recoils in outraged horror as the waiter places a steak platter in front of Dawn who hungrily dives in.
Dawn and her companions jump in alarm as the window next to their table is suddenly smeared with tofu.
RMMD: “… now I’m driving a ’75 Gremlin; which I assure you, I’m not the original owner. Anyway, I hope you don’t mind giving me a push.”
RMMD: Come on, this is the most interesting person to appear in Rex Morgan for a long time. He has a passion, restoring and selling vintage automobiles! He does something with his time beyond sitting around nattering about inconsequential nothings! No wonder Summer doesn’t know what to do with him; she’s just been emerged from Plato’s cave, and is unable to handle the blinding light of the sun.
RMMD: It’s sad this strip doesn’t have the fortitude to show us a hobo licking a plate clean. It’s just going to be one dullard after another.
SF: I think they meant “ebon” as the 2nd answer, for the eternal blackness within the wolf’s maw.
I am the grandma wolf
grinning endlessly in my bed
Hanging with Slylock Fox
Shucking off human bonds
Welcome to dripping jaws,
little girl, to your death,
In comics I roam
ready to chomp on femurs
I roam I roam
A couple of years ago, “Rex Morgan MD” taught us that working on vintage cars was a smart way to become a successful professional, an alternative to college. Now, it says that vintage cars are obnoxious. Two possibilities. 1) It implies people collecting vintage cars are obnoxious and dumb, so being a mechanic is a smart way to fleece them. Which I approve. 2) The writer had a brief midlife crisis in which he started to collect vintage cars but then he realised it made him look like an asshole, so he looks back at that hobby with shame. Which I approve even more!
@Hibbleton: ???
@Charterstoned: Those question marks are me crying out loud laughing.
I had a Karmann Ghia back in the day that sometimes needed to get rapped on the solenoid to get going.
MW: Dirk ordering for Dawn is step one. Dirk taking her to a place with lady’s menus (no prices) is step two.
MW – Roast beef platters, steak platters…it’s now established that Dirk is really into platters. Later tonight, they’ll watch some King of the Hill episodes featuring Luanne Platter, then listen to “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.”
@astroboy: That would make Dawn his platterpuss?
MW: “I like being a doormat for Dirk.” Jared is definitely breaking up with girlfriend so he can “save” Dawn. I think they deserve each other.
FC: Too late, Thel. Billy already rubbed feces on the sweater with his hands.
Dustin: This strip destroys its own meta-premise. There’s no way Dustin, a person who can’t hold down a job for more than 4 hours, could afford enough coffee to be vibrating from caffeine. However, he did manage to pique the barista’s interest when he demonstrated this ability. This explains Dustin’s hair.
RMMD – I think Summer is a hottie – all she really needs are hearing aides. Tomorrow’s date – I can hear you buddy…by the way, did I mention I’ve got aides….
SFx – Let me just clear a path by kicking the human heart and femur bone of the way….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
We usually worry about how TikTok has fried the brain of Zoomers, but even lonely and bored Gen-X can become addicted. Summer cannot even pay attention to what her date is saying for more than ten seconds. Maybe he should dance or say some incredible dumb piece of misinformation to get her attention.
Nice try, “Rex Morgan MD”, but you will never top “Estelle dating a hobo”
First Dilbert, and now Charlie Brown’s teacher, April sighed. This is the last time I try to date in the funny pages, unless the Phantom is single.
DT: He wants to know if they tested for wood, but in Greek?
Dustin: Many people with undiagnosed ADHD, who have been led to believe that their difficulties with focus and initiative are the result of a lack of character and “just not trying hard enough,” self-medicate with stimulants like caffeine. Just, you know, throwing that out there.
GT: The good news is that Inma is now being drawn with a proper sports hijab, rather than the dangerously flowly scarf she’d been depicted wearing for wrestling in days past. The bad news is that she’s now also being drawn with Rodney Barnes’ face.
MW: Anybody remember Jess? You know, Jared’s current girlfriend who was put in the hospital by her abusive ex and is probably PTSD-ing hard at the very obvious red flags Dirk is waving around, and who might feel compelled to talk to Dawn about them if she was allowed to do anything other than be drawn behind Jared’s shoulder with an empty smile on her face? Remember her?
Luann: Geez, Bernice, even a moron (like Luann) knows that, as a brooding type person, Piro plays saxophone. Alan is also wrong, because he’s mistaken Piro being in a Village People tribute band for him being in the Navy.
CS: “You’re hired. I can only pay you in complimentary copies of the Sentinel.”
9CL: The only person who doesn’t seem to know about Edda’s ongoing crush on Seth is Amos, who was oblivious when Edda literally was throwing herself on Seth while Amos was present.
MW – I kind of get why Jess is choosing to remain silent. She’s the only semi-sane person in this group. I’m grading on a Worth-o-verse curve, of course.
@TheDiva: MW: Anybody remember Jess? You know, Jared’s current girlfriend who was put in the hospital by her abusive ex and is probably PTSD-ing hard at the very obvious red flags Dirk is waving around, and who might feel compelled to talk to Dawn about them if she was allowed to do anything other than be drawn behind Jared’s shoulder with an empty smile on her face? Remember her?
That vapid smile is the result of Jared dosing Jess up with the stuff he lifts from the hospital pharmacy.
@Voshkod: Jeez, it’s Summer, not April. April’s in Judge Parker, Summer’s in Rex Morgan, and January’s in Mad Men. Hell, April’s not even in Summer (so far as we know).
Jess wasn’t abused by a significant other, she was mugged. The confusion comes from the fact that Karen Moy did kind of switch that up mid-story (although it was only implied it was an abusive SO but there was no reason she couldn’t have just said it was a mugging from the get-go. Bad storytelling.)
Megacephalic lycanthropy is a real issue, and I’m honestly shocked a comic for children would mock it. What’s next, making fun of hemophilic vampirism?
@Tom: There is a computer game, based on the Red Riding Hood mythos, called “The Path”
Where there are six “red riding hoods” (all sisters with varying personalities) you can choose to play as, and you’re supposed to go down the path to Grandma’s house, and OF COURSE you enter the woods. (Which is a surreal mindf*** in itself) and each Red meets their respective wolf. Only one of them is an actual anthropomorphic wolf, the rest are various forms of toxic human predators.
One is a drug dealer, another is an abusive girlfriend, another is a pedophile, another is obsessed with controlling others, another is an…. wispy fairy thing??? who doesn’t even acknowledge the Red’s presence.
(not even the creators know what his deal is supposed to be)
I didn’t even get into the surreal stuff yet, but the massive surreal factor of this game though, leaves a LOT up to interpretation.
MW: What kind of restaurants are these where the options are a (generic food) platter? Are they eating at a retirement home?
I’m thinking the menu also consists of:
Pupu Platter
Poopoo Platter (for those with constipation – I’m looking at you, Ian)
I was going to make fun of RMMD for “dating service” but, after an incautious search which is going to mess up my ads if not my marriage,* I discovered that “dating services” are still a real business! Also Wikipedia refers to the apps as “online dating services”! RMMD retains plausibility without having to shock the core readership by showing someone use a phone.
*Kidding, my wife is well aware that if I search for something like that it’s research for a comment on the Comics Curmudgeon.
SlyF – In the first, that is a Nylabone, the offering of which is that final act of humiliation that pushed him over the edge, in the second, it belonged to grandma’s abusive ex-lover who learned the hard way that wolves are better stalkers than people and Grandma is baking biscuits in the kitchen to celebrate.
HT to T.Kingfisher
@Hibbleton: JP: “… Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go talk to St. Jude sitting at the table behind us.”
_________________________________________________
I thought that was Jesus, wearing his glasses.
In the first panel, Red Riding Hood is flush because she realizes she is in danger. In the second panel, she is profoundly sunburned, because, in their final days of ruling the earth, among other ecological disasters, humans have destroyed the ozone layer, and most of Red’s brethren have either adopted subterranean lifestyles, or are dying of full body melanomas.
What big head you have
@Lord Flatulence:
I thought that was Jesus, wearing his glasses.
I had originally written Jesus but thought maybe the saint of lost causes would be more apt.
@Tom: RMMD: Anyone want to take bets on how long the terrible date montage will last and whether or not the guy she has a good first date with turns out to be a psycho?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
You have beautiful skin, my dear. It will look lovely, dried and stretched out, on my basement wall.
@Hibbleton: I had originally written Jesus but thought maybe the saint of lost causes would be more apt.
______________________________________________
Good thinking.
RMMD:
Negatives: Boring as all get-out.
Positives: Can hold a fork correctly.
RMMD. I’m not saying it’s time to cancel Rex Morgan, MD, but when you’re lifting the “silver daters” plot from Mary Worth…damn…it’s time to cancel Rex Morgan, MD
Rex Morgan: Reminder, this is supposed to be a medical drama comic about a doctor dealing with medical issues.
Slylock Fox: I almost expect Slylock and Max to pop out of the closet To Catch A Predator-style.
RMMD: What, a ’65 T-Bird? What kind of piker are you? A real classic car enthusiast will only settle for a Tri-Five two-seater bird. Even my daughter’s idiot boyfriend knows that.
On a side note, a lot of enthusiasts will bemoan why Ford ever quit making the two seat Thunderbirds but when they added a rear seat starting in the ’58 models they sold nearly five times as many. When Ford did try bringing back the two seat Thunderbirds in the early 2000s they were a sales flop.
@taig:
On Crankshaft : Weird how “The Centerville Sentinel is now a newspaper BY the community, FOR the community (which means we’ll publish anything you people send in)” changed to this current situation, where someone has to ask permission to submit articles, with the idea that it’s not guaranteed the answer will be yes.
Also weird : the idea that a single handicapped elderly man whose specialty is sports opinion pieces could run an entire newspaper by himself
the implication it’s mostly comics notwithstanding.************
Luann : Huh, yesterday I thought “Piro’s secretly been in the Navy this entire time” was supposed to be an explanation as to how a homeless runaway with no academic aptitudes could attend Moony Uni, a campus that was implied to be exclusive to people who either have money or a scholarship (like, Piro used the G.I. Bill to pay into the school or something? Is that how it would work?), but now it seems to be going the “Everyone in the Starr family (Piro, Tara, those kids) are compulsive liars who just say the most outlandish things, and our “heroines” have been unable to figure it out so far” route?
RMMD: I don’t claim to be well informed on this topic but I believe people on dating apps exchange emails before meeting in person, which allows them to determine if they have enough in common to at least have a conversation. I also thing car guy’s profile would say something about his being an avid classic car enthusiast.
@Where’s Rocky?: Better we should cancel Mary Worth…?
@Anonymous: If Piro’s in the Navy, shouldn’t he be wearing an adorable little sailor suit?
Shylock: Gotta hand it to Mr. Webber Jr.
He keeps to the spirit of the original Grimm Bros.
Poor Wolfie.
@Where’s Rocky?: I’m waiting to see if she watches Bummy McPlatelicker’s tongue in action and says “yeah, you’re coming home with me tonight!”
Mary Worth: Jared: one-man Greek Chorus, or Author Avatar? You. Make. The. Call!
@richardf8: I’m waiting to see if she watches Bummy McPlatelicker’s tongue in action and says “yeah, you’re coming home with me tonight!”
You people have dirty minds.
*I* certainly wouldn’t have thought of someone licking *my* bum, just from reading a newspaper comic strip.
Luann: Buried the lede about Piro having 12 toes. How many on each foot?
Rex Morgan: It’s kind of hard to tell, but from his jowly face, receding old-timey hairstyle with an apparent brown dye job, and plugger-y casual sport jacket, Summer’s date is old enough to have purchased his ’57 Chevy not long after the first owner bought it new off the lot. But Summer can’t really complain, since she’s experiencing empty-nest syndrome after her daughter’s awkward teen teen years seemed to go on for decades, both metaphorically and chronologically. This guy may be a snoozefest, but at least he’s willing to eat his gray mush and go through the motions of socializing, rather than, say, spending an hour with his chin in his hand, sighing off into the distance.
Slylock – The big revelation here, via the bedside picture, is the existence of Little Red Riding Hood’s sister, Little Blue Riding Hood. Little Red suffers from an unusually severe form of face blindness, which rendered her incapable of telling the difference between her grandmother and a wolf, despite her attempts to break down the problem into a methodical evaluation of the relative sizes of eyes, ears, teeth, etc. Little Blue, on the other hand, was able to recognize the wolf instantly. Right before she was eaten.
Don Abundio, translated:
“This is the finest umbrella money can buy”
“You enjoy watching product demonstrations, boss?”
“They make me laugh. These guys are really stupid”
“Someone should have shown him how to open it, don’t you think?”
@ValdVin: All Summer would have heard is, bla-bla-bla-bla….
@Charterstoned: I meant the last comment in reply to you.
@seismic-2: “So how about I take you home and put you up on the rack, lubricate your chassis, and give you a ring job?”
See, this is the opposite problem. How are you going to get a typical woman in the mood for a little cuddling before saying goodnight, if all you do is talk about her car?
Luann: Would having supernumerary toes keep you out of the military? Just curious.
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: Buried the lede about Piro having 12 toes. How many on each foot?
He’s a dude. So who cares?
@BigTed: But all the guys in Rex Morgan M.D. look like that. Even the ones that are supposed to be “children.”
@Ukranazi Stepan: Doesn’t Whatsername Jaredsdater know how to talk?
At least she knows her place. Dawn could take a page from her and cut down on the jibber jabber.
@Dr. Larry Erhardt:
Luann: Buried the lede about Piro having 12 toes. How many on each foot?
Eleven on the right; one on the left, but that might not be canon.
GA:. Having had to work with (against) Housing Deps and developers, I’m pretty sure the HOA is trying to get them to give up their property or have it condemned so the HOA/city can sell it to a developer.
LUANN:. and Bern gets Intel from far younger children.
@TheDiva: Re: MW: Not to worry. Jess has Jared there to comfort her by thought-ballooning very crossly at Dirk. Keep silently glowering, Jared! Silently glower with all your might!
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: @Pervy McKinkerson: I figure three on the left, nine on the right.
Jared: “Wow, Dawn’s new boyfriend really seems the controlling type! I better keep it to myself, and not do anything that would advance the story.”
@taig: I feel like Edda has thrown herself at several other men over the years.
@taig: I feel like Edda has thrown herself at several other men over the years besides Amos.
Fifty years ago, newspapers reported the Supreme Court’s ruling that women cannot be systematically excluded from juries. Meanwhile, Blondie and Flo Capp resisted traditional gender roles as to late night feeding and companionship.
A Chrysler Corporation executive said trees and other plants cause almost as much air pollution at automobiles, the Department of Transportation concluded that supersonic transports were not likely to damage to ozone layer, and inflation clocked in at 12% per annum. In the They’ll Do It Every Time spot, Bigdome mocked the transportation needs of his impoverished employees.
Family Circlejerk – Thel’s rockin’ the sweater puppies again today. Bra or no bra? You make the call.
Do you still have your WIN button?
Hey, Summer. I get it. That’s what I hear when my wife of 15 years talks about Dungeons & Dragons. And it’s doubtless what she hears when I talk about Crisis on Infinite Earths.
What I’m saying is, you should propose during dessert.
New GoComics list.
Self Care 101: 22 Ways To Make Time For Yourself
In today’s Fred Basset en Español they forgot to translate to Spanish.
Marvin Spanish to English.
Today’s my birthday. I am 74 years old. I’ve been reading this blog since I was 57.
I have got to get a life.
love is… shoving it back in.
RMMD: Is she gradually turning into a dog? “Blah blah blah blah SUMMER blah blah blah SUMMER blah…”
JP: I’m pretty sure I could hate her more myself, depending on how this story goes.
JP – Alan was so heartbroken that no one mentioned Ann for years. Readers who followed JP for only a decade had no idea she existed until her big grifting return.
Mary Worth – Imagine what Dawn’s back and forth diet is doing to her body. She seems awfully casual about her commitment to a vegan diet.
The other take on this is that Dirk is an enormous asshole, which we already know. How does it affect him if she eats a vegan meal?
FC – She’s right. Seeing as how she doesn’t fold her laundry when she takes it out of the dryer, she’ll end up having to iton that sweater.
@Sequitur: Happy birthday!
@Majicou: I get the reference!
If she turned into a cat, she wouldn’t hear anything.
Dick Tracy: What is Zylon?
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I do. I was 4 years old at the time, but I remember them.
@Sequitur: Happy Birthday! Hope your special day is going well! You share your birthday with Lord Byron, William Kidd, Francis Bacon, and a disturbing number of famous people who were born after I was.
@Sequitur: You’ve led an awesome life, S! Happy birthday!
GA: Congratulations, Gertie, you have now been part of GA long enough that you have been promoted, at least temporarily, to the Coal Eyes clan.
@Sequitur: And yet, I got the gist!
@Sequitur: Happy birthday! A life: Makes a great birthday present. Not sold in stores.
@I speak Jive: Re JP, I can vouch for that. I will also observe that Randy could just tell his sister, “I’ve had to deal with April’s shenanigans for years and I am NOT going to deal with your shenanigans as well” and just go home. But noooo, he won’t.
@2+2=7: Yeah, the four-year-olds in this strip look like they spend Saturdays changing the oil in the wife’s car, mowing the lawn, and drinking a six-pack of PBR while watching the Cubs’ game.
@taig: “9CL: The only person who doesn’t seem to know about Edda’s ongoing crush on Seth is Amos, who was oblivious when Edda literally was throwing herself on Seth while Amos was present.”
Poor Amos seems to be odd man out with the reboot. He was always just a sniveling worm, but now the focus is on oversexed teenagers, and Amos is the only adult character who has been shown to have aged. He’s shown as balding and disheveled, and has no role in any of the recent plots, which all focus on horny, sexy teenagers making out while wearing skimpy bikinis.
RMMD: If this episode is supposed to indicate that this “dating service” does a very poor job of matching people, I demand to know the name of the dating service. “Flop Dates”? “Hell Bores”? “Alone Is Better”?
Pluggers try to get gas out of a slot machine.
PHANTOM:. I know there’s a six month delay between writing and publishing, but if you’re prescient, you’re prescient. Use it or lose it. We need a time shift to three years in the future, again featuring not Musk, not Bezos, not Zuckerberg. And the not Virgin guy. Parody, it’s your legal defense.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: #94: Too bad she’s blocking the shot with her arm.
FC: Did Billy just fall into a vat of chocolate, like the fat German kid in the Willy Wonka stories?
@Sequitur: Happy Birthday! Quit whining—you can still see to read!
@Sequitur: Happy Birthday!!! :3
@Sequitur:
#105. seq– Happy birthday, and thanks for keeping the CC going all those years! You’re only a few years older than I so hope we both have decades more to contribute.
Super-Fun-Pak – Percival Dunwoody gets the last laugh for once.
@Sequitur: Tracy is probably talking about Zyklon B which would be a strange question to ask after 85 years.
Baby Blues: Her friends are being bribed with expensive gifts to keep them quiet about the sexual abuse. (Yes, I probably have seen too many episodes of Law & Order)
Marvin; I couldn’t tell that was supposed to be an orange. It looks like a ball of excrement that a dung beetle would be pushing.
Curtis: I really did not want that mental image of this guy putting a coconut between his butt cheeks. Anyone want to join a class action lawsuit?
Zits: Getting a job as a high school guidance counselor to help jumpstart your pot farm business is actually pretty clever. She should also consider branching out to cooking crystal meth in the chemistry labs.
Slylock Fox: She just discovered her grandmother is a furry and her sexual fetish involves dressing up like a wolf.
@Anonymous:
At least she’s not one of those people whose kink involves “My Little Pony”
@Sequitur: #100: Happy birthday. You’re only 5 years older than me.
@Anonymous:
You don’t want to know what that bone is actually used for (it rhymes with hill-doe)
@Sequitur:
Happy Birthday! May you have many more years of snark ahead of you.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: People turned those buttons upside down so it said NIM for No Immediate Money.
FC: I’d like to know how Billy got his face and hands so filthy while keeping his sweater so pristine.
@Charterstoned:
I had a Karmann Ghia back in the day that sometimes needed to get rapped on the solenoid to get going.
I got pretty good at popping the clutch to get my crappy old VW started.
@Anonymous: Oh my God, Bilbo Baggins died?! That seems like a pretty long leg bone for a hobbit.
Dennis the Menace: this might be some of the worst artwork I’ve ever seen in this comic, it makes Beetle Bailey look anatomically correct
RMMD: The aging Cabbage Patch doll must have some money socked away if he can make a hobby of refurbishing vintage autos. And he must have thought that would give him some edge in the dating pool. Instead his match hears him as Miss Othmar and won’t even fake attention. Baits and switches all around!
SFx: The wolf swallowed grandma whole but she wasn’t very filling so he downed a ham as well. Hence the bone.
@Sequitur:
Happy Birthday, Sequitur. Now let’s see how fast you can crawl through the paddling machine.
RMMD – “So I gave up on the T-Bird and bought a sleek black 1965 AMC Ambassador that had been sent to the crusher, so obviously it needed some serious body work and yada yada yada*…”
*Summer has not only tuned out, she’s surreptitiously watching an episode of Seinfeld on her phone which she’s holding just under the table.
C-Shaft: I mean, who wouldn’t want to work at this paper. It doesn’t pay
muchbut you’ll get all the Kent State mug cozies you can eat. (You cannot eat mug cozies.)Dustin: Yeah, well, he’s gonna have the bathroom tied up for a while too, FYI.
GT: “By which I mean a high five. Don’t leave us hangin’, girl!”
JP: Randy gave this speech pretty much verbatim to April when the Company burned her. That could bring up some disturbing psychological parallels. Luckily Randy is too boring for anyone to entertain them.
Luann: Piro is in the navy. He’s at the YMCA. He’s a macho, macho man. He’s the whole Village deal.
MW: No, he seemed controlling when he ordered for both himself and Dawn before asking what she wanted. The fact that she’s nominally vegan kicks it up another sickly notch.
Phantom: “Kit Walker” always travels strictly incognito so no one knows about his vigilante work. On the other hand, he’ll out himself as the Phantom if he thinks it’ll be funny.
6C: From the looks of the king I would have expected him to compensate the court jester in cold Whoppers and onion rings.
@Anonymous: Yeah, if DtM is going to start giving Alice Marvin-style suction cup feet, at least they shouldn’t do it on a day when the caption draws attention to her feet!
@Cleveland Mocks: My first car was a 1968 Karmann Ghia.
My father taught me how to use a manual transmission shifter.
I taught my father to always wear his seat belts.
Happy birthday. I wonder if anyone will claim to be older than you like those saying they’re younger.
RMMD: Summer is disappointed that her date hasn’t called her Nerdgirl even once. “Does he not notice my glasses?” she thinks. “They’re pretty big.”
There are actually EIGHT differences between the two “Shylock Fox” panels, both presumably colorist errors and not deliberate.
The color of the straw inside the bedside glass changes from white to the color of the liquid.
The top left panel in the frame hanging on the wall changes from light yellow to light orange.
@cvk:
I meant to say that there are eight, and the extra two beyond the six are what I described.
@Sequitur: Happy birthday.
And I’ll take “Nobody”‘s dare and say I’m older than you.
@Sequitur: Self Care 101: 22 Ways To Make Time For Yourself
Thank you for posting this. That Marmaduke panel really made my day! Dottie has got me all worked up now.
@Sequitur: love is… shoving it back in.
After-care is an important part of any facial.
@Sequitur: Today’s my birthday.
Got the reference!
@Anonymous: Alice is making a face she rarely does, a challenge for the artist. There’s enough there, though, to understand that she would like to smack that little smart-mouth bastard right in the kisser.
@Anonymous: Dennis the Menace: this might be some of the worst artwork I’ve ever seen in this comic, it makes Beetle Bailey look anatomically correct
Yah, those hooves are a deal-breaker.
Birthday! Happy!
@Anonymous: Summer is disappointed that her date hasn’t called her Nerdgirl even once. “Does he not notice my glasses?” she thinks. “They’re pretty big.”
Summer is amazed that her date hasn’t called her Not My Type Girl even once. “Does he not notice my breasts?” she thinks. “They’re pretty small.”
(Actually she’s been wearing that same dopey black sweater since the beginning of this arc several weeks ago, except one evening with a dopey gray one, so we can’t actually tell for sure, and we’re not even that certain who she is beyond an office worker so it’s difficult to back to the archives. Daughter Kelly is kind of well-endowed, though, so maybe we’re wrong?)
@Nobody:
I wonder if anyone will claim to be older than you like those saying they’re younger.
Hell, just about all of us are older than you!
@Nobody: @Dr. Pill: I am, too.
@Ukulele Ike: Like Donald Duck, except he would wear pants. At least I hope he would wear pants.
Beetle Bailey: Take that desk away in panel 2, move Miss Buxley closer to Sarge, and I would believe that she convinced him to give Beetle a pass. Take that Sex Negative Nelly.
@Sequitur: 100. Congratulations. And….in your honor someone here entered a long tag which screwed it up for those of us using a tablet.
@Voshkod: Bwahaha!
I’ll take a moment and say “Thanks!” to those who gave me a birthday greeting!
And @158 Avoiding the Madding Crowd:, I checked up and down the comments and nobody posted a long link shrinking the phone/tablet text. In fact there are no non-embedded links at all today. This has happened before. I think nothing was posted that would go into moderation so the Modbot got mad and did the shrink thing just to have something to do.
@Cleveland Mocks: Wait—we ARE actually talking about cars here, aren’t we…?
RMMD: She could take this opportunity to learn a little about classic cars. Long ago, the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, Michigan was an interesting visit. It is possible to acquire extremely minor info on many topics, enough to enable a little casual conversation when standing in line or sitting in a waiting room. Before phones, I mean.
@Avoiding the Madding Crowd: Beetle Bailey: Take that desk away in panel 2, move Miss Buxley closer to Sarge, and I would believe that she convinced him to give Beetle a pass. Take that Sex Negative Nelly.
You people are disgusting. Next I suppose you’re going to start implying oral sex.
@Sex-Negative Nellie: You’re saying that we WEREN’T implying oral sex already?
@Charterstoned:
I can’t get my drive going on mine personally, maybe I have too much junk in my trunk.
@165 Giant Pondering Otter:
Do you have four on the floor and a fifth under the seat?
@Giant Pondering Otter:
I often don’t know what some of you are saying. It’s way beyond my range of experience.
Kinda irritating that there are actually 7 differences between the panels, thanks to a shoddy colorist