The meal isn’t free, Dawn
Post Content
Bizarro, 2/18/25
Big fan of today’s Bizarro for insisting on historical realism in the face of the gauzy, romantic revisionism we usually see on this subject. King Arthur, that paragon of courtly chivalry and the ultimate historical good guy? Didn’t exist, of course, but whatever Dark Ages warlord served as the inspiration for the stories was no doubt a violent thug who established his rule by the sword. Certainly he would’ve held a mere craftsman as unworthy of respect from the warrior caste, wouldn’t have hesitated to murder such a person if he found him even slightly annoying, and would’ve suffered no consequences for doing so.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 2/18/25
Mother Goose and Grimm hit its 40th anniversary last year, and its characters are sick of it! They were never meant to dance and put on antics for our amusement for so many decades! Please, let them rest! Let them find rest in the grave! They’re begging you!
Mary Worth, 2/18/25
“Well then, a home-cooked meal may do the trick!” [much quieter and faster] “And also advice.”
“What was that last part, Mary?”
“Nothing, Dawn! See you at seven o’clock!”
“Thanks, Mary!”
[even quieter and faster] “For advice”
“Did you say something else?”
“Must’ve been the wind, dear.”
144 replies to “The meal isn’t free, Dawn”
MW:
“Mary, since you know everything, if those gigantic Window Eels that are staring us down in the first panel were to go out dancing as a group, would they form a conger line?”
MW:
Mary pats Dawn on the back in the way that some criminal defense attorneys have taken to doing the same thing with their clearly factually guilty clients, in order to try to evoke sympathy for them.
Bizarro:
“I’m going to stick you with a spear to express my disapproval of this abomination, because I like to ‘lance a lot.’ “
Bizarro:
“Just call this one a ‘Sphere of Influence,’ and I’ll get going right away on what it turns out you actually had in mind when you placed this order.”
MW. You’re trying too hard, Mary. Dawn prefers someone less desperate (remembers Jared). Never mind, you’re doing great!
MW: “You have your choice — salmon croquettes or unidentifiable brownish goop. And for dessert, advice pudding…I mean rice pudding.”
MW – “Hopefully helpful advice.” Unlike the “advice” you gave Dawn in the middle of this story, which was neither helpful nor advice, but rather a tossed-off platitude that had no real bearing on her situation.
MW: After her talk with a dejected Dawn, Mary adjusts her menu accordingly. “Scratch the apple brown Betty; cue the hash brownies.”
MW: Seeing which words are bolded for emphasis in a given Mary Worth is always funny, this one being a prime example. Sounds like Dawn’s about to get an apathetic ear tuned to her story while chowing down on a Hungry-Man dinner.
MW: What happened to the blue hair? It’s gone! Is that something she does just to tease Jeff’s kink? Or does something in the Bum Boat menu cause it? Anyway, very disappointing to see it gone.
Now where were we? Oh yes, advice. Mary’s going to pull a Dirk. “You’ll listen to my advice, Dawn, and you’ll LIKE it!”
MW: “Well… maybe you can advise me on the best type of blade to slash all of Dirk’s tires.”
Biz: This is why King Arthur really should have a project manager on his team. This way the project requirements are communicated clearly, and he wouldn’t have to indiscriminately slaughter contractors. It’s bad for business. Anyway, I suggest Gawain.
Narration box (cont’d): When Mary invites Dawn over for dinner…a stiff elbow keeps her at arm’s length.
Luann: Well, Phil, you can always blame Mrs. Horner’s artistic taste on incipient dementia.
CS: Cranky is ashamed about his morning wood.
9CL: Sure, Brooke.
One of the great philosophical conundrum for the ages: what’s harder to swallow, Mary’s advice or Mary’s cooking? Dawn picked her poison
DT: “Are you sure she specifically requested me?”
“Well, she went on and on and wanting action and wanting Di… wait, we did all the fellatio jokes yesterday…”
Dustin:
1. There are plenty of healthy meals you can make with meat
2. Certain companies can be declared cruelty-free with it comes to meat
3. Ed Kudlick needs to have a heart attack already
MW. Mary will do whatever it takes to reinsert herself into this storyline. She has seen the strip that bears her name become more and more Westoncentric and, by all that’s holy, she will NOT suffer the same ignoble fate as Barney Google or Alan Parker!
Pibgorn: Seven months, eleven days, and counting…
FC: PJ is definitely thinking, “No, that’s a mosquito, you dunderheaded dolt.”
Dustin: If anyone has the right to complain about being trapped in a marriage, it’s not you, Ed.
JP: “Next thing you know, they’ll ask me to take in two orphans and raise them.”
CS: “Let’s see, it’s morning and Dad’s not around yet. Where could he be? WHERE could he be? Oh I know, I’ll check to see if he’s still in bed.” [30 seconds later] “Well I’ll be damned, there he is! He’s still in bed. Mystery solved!” smh
CS: Payback time! It’s Pam’s turn to be the strip’s resident unapologetic asshole.
Why does King Arthur have a K2 on his chest like some sort of 5th century superhero? Is it because he’s a mountain of a king? Is he not King Arthur, but King 2thur, head of the Round Table and also a dentist? Is he the son of the original King Arthur?
Bizarro: Come now, Josh. King Arthur wouldn’t have murdered just any random artisan. He would have had one of his minions do the job, a là Henry II offing Thomas Becket, albeit with less church-state implications.
FC: A smirking Billy asks Dolly; “Help me push this couch up against the wall.”
Mary Worth: One of the first things you learn in any kind of counseling, spiritual or secular, is to give little advice, and then only with the permission of the counselee. Of course, they also teach you to avoid meddling, speaking in a monotone with a thousand-yard stare and blue-balling your romantic partner, but the main thing is to listen. No muffins or salmon squares!
@Chance: Maybe we’ve been wrong about who was the first to summit K2.
DtM: Dennis’ comment makes no sense unless they just got all dressed up to go eat somewhere that sells adult commodities like Ikea, or a gas station.
B. Bailey: No, Beetle. Having three feet won’t make your march any easier but kudos for thinking outside the box.
“No offense, but I don’t think any advice can make me feel better right no–” the next moments are a blur. Dawn feels a disorienting rush and a sharp pain and suddenly she’s face-down on the ground, with a blunt weight on the back of her neck. Something has cracked, and blood is pooling underneath her. She doesn’t know what happened to the sun, everything is dark, like night. A voice appears to come from everywhere, asking what about now, Dawn? Do you think you could use some advice now?
Suddenly everything rights itself. The light returns, the pain recedes, she’s standing upright, and only a faint taste of blood and a sense of vertigo suggest she didn’t imagine it. “Well then,” says Mary happily, her blank eyes fixed on nothing in the middle-distance. “A home-cooked meal may do the trick!”
Listen to Mary’s advice, Dawn, and you too can enjoy a sexless, uncommitted relationship well into your biddy years.
***
Fuck you, Arthur. That carpenter crafted a large perfect sphere out of wood with nothing but hand tools. Down with monarchy, vive la révolution!
Crankshaft with morning wood. Thanks for that image, taig.
I wonder if Ed has a tube sock over it like Jimbo in American Pie. Maybe Pam better hide the pastries.
Bizzaro: If you’re a carpenter but you can’t infer from context that a “table” indicates something with a flat surface you deserve to have your head lopped off, if only so your space in the craftsman’s guild can be filled by someone who knows how to do his damn job.
MW: Little does Dawn realize that Mary is taking her words as a challenge. She’ll figure it out around seven fifteen tonight, after Mary has tied her to a chair and sat across from her with a fifty-page printout from her BrainyQuote search for “relationships.”
Six Chix-Never have before. Why start now.
MW-Dawn just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and she misses it.
RMMD-“Perhaps you and me could ‘double date’ in the future.”
FC-“That’s the start of a water leak and a sign that Daddy should have called a plumber.”
Daddy Daze-“Who runs Barter Town?”
MW: Mary can’t wait to gloat on this one. Positively ready to chortle with glee. HO HO HO!
@Pozzo: MW: A nice baked meddle cobbler
Day by Dave: Yet another comic inspired by Bob Tice.
MW: “No offense, but I don’t think any advice can make me feel better right now!”
Dawn’s body was never found.
C’shaft: Leave him be, Pam. He shouldn’t be driving a school bus with his bad back. I mean, he shouldn’t be driving a school bus at all, but now you have a concrete reason for keeping him off the road.
DT: Dick is definitely not loving this assignment. “What fun is it to track down corpses; they’re already dead!”
Dustin: Dustdad, maybe don’t remind your wife that you’ve essentially imprisoned her in a life of thankless forced labor for which you show zero gratitude. It’s a good way to get strychnine injected into your jelly donuts.
Luann: Yeah, nothing says “edgy” like extreme close-ups of someone’s eye. Andres Serrano wishes he were that confrontational.
MT: He can phase through prison bars! He’s a mutant!
Pluggers are addicted to painkillers.
As the Saxons stormed the fort at Badon Hill, Arthur looked desperately for a weapon to turn the tide of battle. His eyes fell upon the table. The next table will lie flat, and our best knights will sit around it, he thought, but for now, improvise, adapt, overcome. The jarls and thanes would later speak in hushed tones about the moment the flaming wheel broke through the abatis, followed by crazed Britons, charging to victory.
Of the anonymous workman who had built the table, nothing is remembered.
Noting the continuous grain structure, that “table” was evidently carved from a single bole. Apparently this carpenter hitched a ride with some Vikings to Vinland, hiked all the way to the Pacific coast, cut down the biggest sequoia he found, and somehow carted it back to Camelot. And then carved it into a perfect sphere.
Arthur is out of his league, is what I’m getting at.
I’m asking for a lot in terms of continuity, but based on today’s Pluggers and past Mary Worth dinners/snacks, for all their poor health, mental illness and wallowing in nostalgia, Pluggers are better cooks than Mary Worth.
@TheDiva: DT: Dick says “Sure Chief, you want me to clean the toilets for you too, while I’m at it?”
@Little Guy: Pibgorn: Seven months, eleven days, and counting…
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Shhh! They might hear you!
MG&G: Unfortunately the easy part is making lame jokes about other people’s intellectual property.
Bizzaro – I always thought a round table for twelve was wasteful – all that area in the middle nobody can even reach. A doughnut shape would be better. All hail the knights of the doughnut table….
MG&G – Ah – a marriage sex joke. And spot on!
MW – A new trend in home dining – discomfort food….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Phantom: No, dahlings, I haven’t had a bleach job since arriving at the Mawitaan Livery Stable hahaha That’s just an artistic choice by the lighting technician. They tell me there’s no Pale Horse symbolism at work here…. hmmmm. We’ll see.
You’ll notice the other Horse down the way has had the same treatment, so it’s not just me. I see she’s shopping for shoes! Maybe I’ll check out their new spring arrivals while I’m here… I wonder if they have Jimmy Choo…
But did anyone even bother looking?
Bizarro: A medieval table (tabele) was a writing tablet. What we call a table was a board (bord). If Arthur had only used the latin mensa rotunda, he could have avoided the confusion and the bloodbath (sanguis balneum).
Mary Worth’s advice is going to be to give Dirk a second chance isn’t it oh my god
MG&G: I can’t help feeling they stole the punchline from a previous “Lockhorns” panel.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Gimme all your money!”
“First I want to show you some pictures of my dog”
“Ha! Ha! Just thought I’d inject a little levity into this encounter”
“That guy has no sense of humor!”
Let’s see, “Mother Goose and Grimm” started in 1984 and Josh first joked about it in 2004. We are now in 2025… Congratulations Josh! You have been mocking one long-running strip for more than half its existence!
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Oh, darn, I’m sorry! I meant to type “Norwegian wood.”
I think hiding the pastries from Crankshaft is just a good idea all around.
MW: I admit I haven’t followed this strip as closely as I have others, so I just need to ask: has any of Mary’s advice ever actually been helpful? And if so, was said advice actually followed? Because all these people seem just as hapless as ever, and helpful advice normally improves a person’s situation.
Mary is teaching Dawn that the key to emotional comfort for the Weston family’s ills is found only in food. This may or may not be part of her plot to fatten them up for the next Westview Thanksgiving party.
@Little Guy: PIBGORN: I’m counting it as 6 moths and 9 days, but your overall point is valid. Brooke abandoned this strip when he realized he could just age or de-age the Overlook Twins as needed to fit that day’s fetish.
BG&SS: I tried to figure what army in the entire world uses border collies for combat but then I remembered Camp Swampy.
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
Aspirin at mealtime? Pluggers are gonna lose their shit when their indifferent, bored doctors discover omeprazole.
Pretend that retirees now have been on Grandma Moses forever, but no avant-garde and abstract art which has only been around since before Kandinsky. By someone “not getting this modern stuff”, Luann is paying homage to what must be a Hi & Lois from 1957.
@Ettorre: You misspelled ‘condolences.’
MG&G: I can understand if say… the other animal was Atilla who has been around since nearly the beginning, this new dog isn’t broken-in enough to be as disillusioned as Grimmy.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: But even then, killing the guy leaves a body and someone will catch on.
How about having Merlin turn him into a pug or something.
MW – “Nah, could I just join you guys at the Bum Boat instead? Because I think what I really need is to pick up some filthy sailor off the docks.”
After years of denial of finally I’ve accepted the fact that Dawn is my type.
@cheech wizard: I would joke about a Popeye crossover, except Popeye would never sink so low as to date Dawn.
@TheDiva: I read a series of fantasy novels, where a guy is flung into another world, a medieval fantasy realm with humans living alongside anthropomorphic animals. He eventually married a woman and settled down.
One line that stuck with me, is the protagonist was going on another quest, and his wife said she needed him at home because she’s having a carpet installed.
I just LOVE the idea, that there’s an anthropomorphic animal in a fantasy world who thought “I want to install carpets for a living!”
Simple pleasures.
MW: How hopped on meth is Mary? Her advice for Dawn is going to be one long, paranoid stream of consciousness rant, probably involving imaginary flesh-eating bugs
More like asshole carpenter. “You didn’t specify a flat bed.” “You didn’t say you wanted a flat desk.” “You should have told me you wanted a flat floor.” They’re not defying society’s expectations — they just really don’t understand the most basic aspect of the craft.
Arlo and Janis: Arlo is dating himself completely out of Gen X if Molly Ringwald’s birthday does nothing for him.
FC – Look! There’s a bottle in the ceiling light!
Mary Worth – A caring friend would have Dawn talk about what happened and how she feels. Instead, Mary is going to drop a shitload of platitudes on Dawn, then expect Dawn to thank her profusely. Then a four week victory lap.
S4th – Duh! Put glasses on the puppy when he’s not wearing the cape. No one will ever catch on.
Crankshaft – He stayed in bed so long that Pam checked on him. Unfortunately, he’s still breathing.
Far Side – Guest appearance by Eddie Haskell.
BIZARRO: As his head bounced off the platform, catching a glimpse of his body, which now had a nice flat surface on top, the contractor had his last thought: “Oh, now I get it!”
I actually felt a little sympathy for Mary, imagining exactly how this conversation is gonna go down.
Dawn: *breaks into tears after her 5th muffin*
“MY BOYFRIEND IS A JERK AND SOMETIMES HE PUSHES ME AND PEOPLE BUT HE’S A HOT HUNK AND I CAN’T DECIDE WHAT TO DO BECAUSE HE’S HOT BUT LIKE EMBARRASSED ME IN PUBLIC AND MY EX WAS THERE AND HIS S.O. AND IT WAS HUMILIATIIIIIINNNNNG” *honk*
Mary: *eyes glazed over from the Santo Roberto dispensary special gummies*
“It is what it IS, Dawn! Live in the MOMENT.”
Luann Spanish to English.
Don’t be so hasty to condemn the Spherical Table, Arthur! Lancelot can’t flirt with your wife if he can’t see her, and you’ll have to deal with far less of Gawain’s bullshit if he doesn’t know you’re over there.
Luann: “Phil, there are worse things than being old-fashioned. Like if you, the object of my heretofore obvious but unrequited attraction, were married. Or gay. Or gay married. Who am I kidding, I’ll pine over you incessantly anyway.”
Luann: The seven paintings out in the car show the eyeball bloodshot or clear, with dilated or constricted pupils (from life), at no extra charge, your choice.
FC – “On the other hand, when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore.”
Baldo: I’ve noticed, over the past several weeks, that every character in this strip survives on an all-empanada diet. I can’t decide whether they should all weigh 400 pounds, be dead from malnutrition, or both. Also, fried dough around a meat or cheese filling is not particularly Mexican, but pan-Latin America extending to the Caribbean, Spain, Indonesia, the Philippines, and South Asia.
Family Circus: Ayahuasca is a hell of a drug.
Bizarro: A “table” is by definition flat. Anybody claiming to be a carpenter in any era wouldn’t have lasted an hour in business who didn’t know that much.
S4th: The role of the New Puppy is being played today by a stuffed double, while we study the feasibility of continuing this project. Well, actually, my client refused to go in to work today – said his characterization was unfocused and his talents were being underused. I told ya he was from a show biz family…
Yeah, this was not how we envisioned the new addition. This was to be a heart-warming saga of a mischievous young dog finding his place in the world through a disciplined, loving setting… where everyone learns a Valuable Lesson about responsible Pet ownership. And you see what we’re getting. The usual slapdash, half-assed, unfunny “comedy” routine. No cohesion, no continuity, not even a NAME for the Pup!
I shoulda known better than to try to work with this scatshow. Intern, get our Legal Eagle on the phone….
GT: Speaking of food, in high school strips the cliche setting for this sort of socializing is lunch in the cafeteria, so I suppose that’s what’s going on here. Muslim Wrestle Girl has picked up the boxed fricassee rabbit with boiled carrots, but what is Blondie about to tuck into? Looks like a stack of Belgian waffles and a desiccated tomato. How hard is it to draw a fucking hamburger?
Bizarro: Okay, this is actually a really good one.
Mary Worth: I’m amazed that Dawn rejecting Mary’s attempts to offer advice didn’t cause Mary to start screaming and going into a feral blood rage SCP-096-style.
@Bob Tice: #1
…that’s a-moray…
@The Rambling Otter: Send him to check what the Jutes are up to, frame him for receiving stolen timber, there are lots of possibilities!
@Cleveland Mocks: #10
During dinner, as Dawn struggles to cut her meat with a dull table knife, Mary pulls out a literal Highland dirk and hands it to her. “Here, dear…cut it with this dirk. It will slice right through…OH – goodness, honey, I didn’t mean to make you cry!”
Bizarro – Contrary to the popular myths of fairy tales and legends, Dark Ages kings weren’t dictators who could do whatever they liked. They had their vassal lords to please, less they switch their allegiance, soldiers, and manpwoers to a rival. They also had Guilds to deal with. Losing the carpenters would be an issue should siege engines be needed, or fortifications need repair. Try to get swords fixed or new armor if the armorer’s guild strikes in solidarity!
Of course, in this case, the King may have tried to go non-guild labor, and he’s gotten what he deserved. A true master would have gotten the all the specifications from the king the first time.
Mother Goose and Grimm – Grimm and his friend at least have the same artist and art style, not the stilited, squarish drawing of the new artist for Gil Thorp.
Mary Worth – “I didn’t know you knew how to make Chinese food, Mary.” Dawn said, having expected a meal of muffins and beige squares.
“There is a lot of value in learning other cultures,” Mary said, “Now it time for fortune cookies.”
Dawn’s eyes widens as a full bowl of fortunes cookies, each numbered sequentially, was shoved before her.
Bizarro: I never understood the moral of the Round Table anyway. Round or not, someone is still sitting closer to the King and someone else is sitting farther away.
Mike Peters the creator of “Mother Goose and Grimm” received a Pulitzer Prize for his writing. He has also done more piss and shit jokes than just about any newspaper cartoonist second only to “Marvin”
FC: No, children…you’ll soon *wish* that spot was just a fly…that small black dot is an incipient black hole…a miniature vortex that somehow escaped CERN’s Large Hadron Collider and rode Earth’s spin to your house, where it will feed off your energy until it grows and grows and swallows everything in its orbit. EVERYTHING!!!
@Dennis Jimenez: The middle of Arthur Pendragon’s famed Table Round was reserved for the attractive floral centerpiece. But during October — ornamental gourds!
@Mr. Satanism: #64
Does Mary Worth have your contact information??
@Ukulele Ike: #92
“…ornamental gourds…”
Or the heads of his enemies artfully arranged on a platter…
MG & the Booker G’s: When Grimmy said he’s having trouble faking it, I immediately went to the question of just what does he do with Mother Goose, anyway. Great. Now I gotta buy another gallon of brain bleach…
@90 Anonymous:
It should be noted that his Pulitzer Prize was for Editorial Cartooning (now called the Pulitzer Prize for Illustrated Reporting and Commentary). There is no category for regular old comic strips. Remember that, Batiuk.
My goodness, just LOOK at Mary’s eyes in that last panel. There is one whose mind has truly touched the void, and laughed at what it saw there. Yes, Dawn, dinner’s at 7. The night wind can always swallow one more scream.
@Anonymous: “See Batiuk? You just need to have Les, Funky and Crankshaft piss and shit themselves more and you’ll get that Pulitzer in no time! wait…”
MW: When Mary Worth talks about “A Sympathetic Ear” and “Hopefully Helpful Advice” the “™” is implied.
MG&G: It seems to me that the hard part would consistently be holding the tip of your nose aloft when it weighs as much as the rest of your head in toto.
@Anonymous: That’s what Batiuk is missing — Les drinking from a toilet!
AC: “This crime deserves a big fine. What it doesn’t deserve is a description. Let the readers decide for themselves based on their own values of what would be a suitably terrible crime, but not so terrible that you don’t stop being a vaguely sympathetic ‘lovable rogue’ type character.”
FG: There is, as always, a certain lack of suspense in “the guy telling the story in a pub some time later says he’s probably going to die at this point.”
Heath: “Cats can be aloof. They can also walk on the ceiling, apparently, but since there’s no obvious connection, those may be unrelated qualities.”
JP: Ces, I realise Reena wasn’t there when Sophie gave this exact speech to Glenn, but we were! We don’t need to hear it again!
@Little Guy: Pibgorn: Seven months, eleven days, and counting…
But who’s counting. Oh wait, it was you. You just said.
@Horace Broon: re: AC: Andy knocked over a bank, for beer money.
re: FG: See Lord Dunsany’s excellent short-short story, “In a Dim Room.”
FG: Let me guess, Flash will whip the other combatants and in a display of nobility and respect for the old man throw the fight so the old geezer can collect the winner’s purse.
@98 The Rambling Otter:
Except he didn’t win it for Mother Goose and Grimm. He also draws editorial cartoons.
Mary’s Worst: “Speak into my synthetic ear, Dawn,the one with the hearing aid, after all, I’m old, I sold apples during the Depression™, no matter what the revisionists try to tell you.”
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: @Anonymous: That’s what Batiuk is missing — Les drinking from a toilet!
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Well, he ate at Montoni’s, same diff.
The other comics–
FBoFW:. A bonkus on the conkus did free Mike’s mind from visions of Rhetta, especially now that he and Weed need to fixate on another woman.
MANDRAKE:. Getting suspicious. In a city the amazing Smasher just happens to be near as a group begins a heist. Again the group disappears without any harm or arrests. You’re looking too media-ready, Man.
BETTY:. Yet another week of kids and those purveyers of brain rot.
CURTIS:. Gotta give him an A for effort. Curtis has put some thought into the strategies, and maybe Chutney will put some Band-Aids on his wounds.
TG:. Opened this one appreciating this strip always gives a healthy, understandable gag. Oops.
PHSNTOM:. First time I realized KJ or 21 have to stable their horse when they go to town. Wonder how they sign the check.
@Anonymous: done more piss and shit jokes
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Officer Peter Pisstroni ……. Policewoman Sharon Sheet……. they’re partners! …coming this fall on FOX “Piss&Shit” will clean up LA! after “The Simpsons” on Sunday! New from the wonderful people who brought you “Marvin Guy”, “Marvin’s Burgers” and “Marvinrama”!
@Activist: re Phantom — I’d think they pay in cash from the horde, and tip generously.
C-Shaft: Get Jeff to help you. One can take the shoulders while the other grabs the feet.
DT: Something about being requested by Gloria Hart makes Dick to an FML glance at the camera like he was working at Dunder-Mifflin.
Dustin: Dustdad should just go along with the family meal conversion to vegetarianism. She’s obviously hoping he’ll put his foot down and insist on at least three servings of meat per week. If he doesn’t she’ll crack herself.
GT: Just fascinated to learn the Milford cafeteria offers Sam & Max Happy Meals.
H&L: If the wife cut her hair and the husband lightened his/stopped overdoing the gel they’d be the spitting image of the Flagstones. Lois needs to make sure these two wind up far enough away they can’t do a kill-and-replace job.
JP: Sophie isn’t “the dependable one.” She’s got above average computer skills and that’s about it. Of course a Parker-Spencer-Driver who with an “it’s all about me” attitude is as rare as a day with “Y” in it.
Luann: To the surprise of everyone Nil actually has business sense as an artist. Of course it would be nice if he also had a real name.
MT: I see that Rick is being held in the Gloria Gaynor cell, so named because it would be so easy to “Go on, go, walk out the door.”
RMMD: Look, for better or worse, the wannabe dandy who tailed Summer from their failed date is the only interesting part of the story. Why bury the lede?
@Little Guy: Pibgorn: Seven months, eleven days, and counting…
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“PIBGATE—-AMERICA HELD HOSTAGE: DAY [ ]”- Dan Rather’s Evil Ghost.
@Guillermo el chiclero: FG: Let me guess, Flash will whip the other combatants and in a display of nobility
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Tune in next time to “Mel Brooks’ “FLASHBALLS: the comic” as Flash says, ” Wait till I whip this out.”
Six Chex And A Cat Named Radar O’Reilly In Search Of A Punchline: “All I see is a tiny nativity scene.”
The One Where They Start Stealing Jokes From M*A*S*H*
@Sequitur: Except he didn’t win it for Mother Goose and Grimm.
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He won it for his “Momma” prequel “Momma: Goosed And Grim”, and he really earned it, IMHO…it really fleshed out and explained why Sonya Hobbes was the way she was. You could really sympathize with her kids.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: MG&G: It seems to me that the hard part would consistently be holding the tip of your nose aloft when it weighs as much as the rest of your head in toto.
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Ah! Miss Peach Syndrome.
Bizarro: King Arthur, if you want a good carpenter, next time hire Jesus. He wouldn’t mess something like this up, and he’s not exactly dead either. Didn’t you find the Holy Grail on one of your quests? Summon him with it or something.
Mark Trail Mix: I see Lost Forrest P.D. uses the Invisible Fence™ jail cells. Hope the bad guy isn’t smart enough to know that if he takes the collar off the holographic bars will stop zapping him.
There’ll be much screaming and running around when the “spot” drops from the ceiling and the melonheads discover it’s not a fly, but a spider. Thel will run in and demand to know what all the noise is about, and then there will be more screaming and running around. Bil will come in and demand what all the noise is about, and there will be more screaming and running around. The spider, meanwhile, will scuttle away, slip under the front door and escape into the garden with a vow to never to return to a place of such madness.
“Kingy, only a great leader would have the balls to own a ball table like this!”
MG&G: Meanwhile Hamm is chilling on a beach somewhere, thankful he got out of that comic when he did. As he clinks pina colada glasses with Lyman and Delta
I can’t be the only one who reads all of Mary Worth’s dialogue in a creaky little-old-lady voice, right?
@Sequitur: There is no category for regular old comic strips. Remember that, Batiuk.
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What about the TB Award for most cancer in a comic?
CD: Some you get more inebriated as the day goes on.
@Father Nosebest: or something involving multiplication
@Daisy:
Gaaaaaaaaaa!
@Cleveland Mocks: MW: “Don’t you dare ignore my platitudes!”
yesterday @Ukulele Ike: Oh, now you’ve done it. Now I need to go watch the opening sequence and credits from Re-Animator (1985). “I….gave….him….LIFE.”
A very fine film indeed. It’s a travesty it garnered no Oscars-love at awards time. Thanks for the recommendation!
@Everybody Posts, Nobody Reads: “You steal the secret of life and death and here you are, trysting with a bubble-headed coed. You’re not even a second-rate scientist.”
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Luann: His name is Nilbert Nilson.
@Garrison Skunk: The Invisible Jail Door was a great gag in my favorite ‘guilty pleasure’ movie; “Support Your Local Sheriff” with Jim Garner
@The Rambling Otter: @cheech wizard: I would joke about a Popeye crossover, except Popeye would never sink so low as to date Dawn
__________________________________
I’m strong to the finish cause I’d rather date a can of spinach, then Dawn, the nerdy goil……
@Everybody Posts, Nobody Reads: Yes, Jeffrey Combs should have won every major acting award for 1985.
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
”Dr. Hill is dead?”
”Um….not any more.”
”Herbert, this has got to stop.”
@Lord Flatulence:
Well obviously I’m going to hear this as a Fight Club chant.
@Lord Flatulence: “I won’t be ignored!” – Glen Close as Mary Worth in Fatal Meddletraction”
@UncleJeff: You have good taste in movies. :)
@Lord Flatulence: Nilson Schmilson.
@Chance:
#22 BIZARRO:. All very plausible guesses. In fact, the premise of this toon is there are 1-13 “secret symbols” hidden in the picture (exact no. by artists’ name). Frequent solvers know there are often secret meanings to the secret symbols. My guess is that the king is really giving us the code he is square, as is he.
The space guy symbol sees all, knows all, and he is prepared to swoop down and save the carpenter. After all, space guy knows an orb-it is better than a square. Your guesses are just as valid.
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
“Cat dead, details later.”
A fellow mudge enjoyed my review of Re-Animator mentioned above, so I will share:
I’m not much of a horror movie watcher, indeed I actively avoid the genre, but it’s freely available on YouTube so I watched. It’s got some gross parts, but I survived without hurling, by fast-forwarding a few places and then eventually speeding it up to 1.5X plus closed captioning which somehow made it more tolerable. It turns out the last 15 minutes are performed with significant nudity. Of special note is Barbara Crampton, a “real” actress to some degree (known for soap operas mainly, I think) who has a nice bod. Early in the film you see some titties during sex, but it’s during the last portion where there’s a brief glimpse or two of bush, and a few minutes later a partial view of her between-the-legs cleavage (not quite the labia, but still more than just buttcrack). Various zombies are in the nude too, so there’s the occasional dong or old-lady boobs and maybe more – I didn’t go frame by frame to see what mediocre bodies were on display, because Barbara was the main prize. It verges into porn at a certain point, with the main zombie bad guy sucking some titty and then beginning to engage in cunnilingus until he is interrupted. No P-in-V, probably due to disconnected body parts, which you’ll have to watch to understand. So-so porn, and I’m not qualified to judge the quality of the horror aspects, but overall the production values are better than the typical slasher movie. Anyway, have a look if you’re inclined.
@Bob Tice: #125
BWAAHAHAHA!!!!!
@Chance: @Jay Fawley: It’s one of those recurring elements of the strip. Both of Dan Piraro’s kids have names starting with K.
@Garrison Skunk: Momma too. It’s a Mell Lazarus go-to.
MW: Oh, you don’t want my advice? Well enjoy whatever I mix in with my stew. Oh, did I say that part out loud? See you at 7.
Hägår thé Hørrïblê:
After launching his long planned coup d’etat and deposing Hägår, Lücký Êddïé became the dictator he’d always accused his predecessor of being.