Pride, the fall, and so forth
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Heathcliff, 5/7/25
The thing about Heathcliff is that he should be dominant in any situation in which he finds himself, either having established himself as being on top of the hierarchy or doing something that ignores other people’s dominant positions and makes them nervous. Garfield is usually dominant in his strip but sometimes this is reversed for comical effect, but I don’t think that works with Heathcliff. Heathcliff should not be “in deep” with his bookie and currying favor with him by laughing too hard at his jokes! He should be at the top of an attack parabola, ready to descend claws extended onto the face of the starting pitcher of whatever team he’s just bet against.
The Lockhorns, 5/7/25
I really respect that Leroy has absorbed just enough Harry Potter knowledge to know that witches send letters with owls but doesn’t really know or care that many witches and wizards are good guys, they aren’t the kind of comical evil crone-witches he associates with Loretta’s mother, etc. I also respect The Lockhorns for getting the U.S. Postal Service’s logo correct on this letter carrier’s bag, which is more than Blondie, a strip with a recurring mailman character, can say.
Dick Tracy, 5/7/25
The mostly empty tumbler of brown liquor on the desk in the final panel is a nice touch. “Ahh, I shan’t leave this evidence behind!” he thinks, smugly and drunkly, right before whatever electrified net contraption Sam has talked the MCU’s favorite judge into letting them use descends upon him.
112 replies to “Pride, the fall, and so forth”
Family Circlejerk – The sky may have fallen down, but Thel’s rack hasn’t.
The Lockhorns:
“Gosh, what a hoot you are, Leroy!”
RMMD:
“Okay, then. Look — I gotta get back to work. Think I’ll do some oil changes while I’m blasting cacophonous rock music — maybe I’ll queue up Puddle of Mudd’s ‘She Hates Me’ and Rollins Band’s ‘Liar’ !”
“Attack Parabola” would be a great band name.
DT: In most jurisdictions, police cars are white and covered in lights and reflective panels so they can speed relatively safely through traffic. But why give away your position to criminals like that? Better to just paint your police car charcoal black all over including the headlights. On balance, the extra road deaths are slightly outweighed by the extra criminal deaths!
JP: “Abbey, I’m not happy that Reena is going to Norway. And this is all YOUR daughter’s fault!” Thus begins another typical JP family dynamic.
RMMD: “You’re going back to work? Where’s my meltdown? Don’t I get a meltdown?”
MW: Mary has initiated her infiltration phase for Operation “For Whom The Belle Trolls.”
Heathcliff – So sports betting isn’t legal in whatever state this strip is set in?
HTCLF — Bookies tell jokes? Other than “A guy walks into the bar with a broken leg, and the bartender says, I guess the Cubbies lost last night.” and such. . .
DT: It’s cute that people in Dick Tracy’s universe still consider things like evidence and due process when we all know that this ends in a coroner’s inquest rather than a trial.
Heathcliff is simply lulling his bookie into a false sense of security…before he summons the awesome power of Gambling Ape!
Lockhorns: Too bad she’s not a literal witch. Seeing Leroy as a human-sized chicken pecking around the living room at least until Loretta begs her mom to remove the spell would be worth a few laughs (It worked for Bewitched).
LOCKHORNS: I’d like to say that “I hate my mother-in-law” is a dinosaur, but social media says otherwise. So, thank you, mothers-in-law everywhere, for keeping The Lockhorns current. Well, except for the snail mail.
RMMD: Niki’s casual reaction makes Kelly re-think her decision all the way home. But when she goes back to the garage, Niki has forgotten who she is.
H&L: Lois appears to be fleeing rather than jogging, but hey, no judgment.
GT: People don’t WANT to call you “Clambake.” It’s stupid. You don’t get to make up your own nickname.
Heathcliff: I think that Heathcliff is fine, as surely his thing his bookie bet him is that he wouldn’t paint his house pepto pink.
Lhorns: I like how Leroy left the door open to be able to have an audience for his well-timed quip. Unfortunately for him the mailman has learned that its better to just not engage at all with these two.
DT: What do you figure followed that ellipsis in the first panel? “…to run him down with our car“? “..an extra box of ammunition?” “…a pre-emptive pardon from the governor“?
@Corwin Haught: I’m sure that Heathcliff likes to wager on things that aren’t strictly legal, like back-alley knife fights.
FC: Add Dolly’s stupidity to the list of horrors to roll in with the fog.
If the starting pitcher in an MLB game is anyone other than the publicly listed starter, bets typically become “no action.” You get your bet back and don’t win or lose, no matter what happens. Heathcliff will have to attack a position player instead.
Mary Worth and Luann should merge their dinner scenes. “Dawn, this is Luann. You’ll get along great. You’re both college students who have bad feelings about your roommates’ relationship partners. Oh, Luann, I’m sorry, did you not notice yet?”
DT: I have a degree in English, specializing in the Romantic era, and yet I’m fairly certain that my inner monologue has never said “shan’t” in an unironic way. What I’m saying is there’s no excuse for a Dick Tracy villain to use that word in his thought bubble, and I refuse to accept it.
@Veronica!:
Didn’t Johnny Long have a hit song about this contraction in 1946? — “It’s only a shan’t-y/In old shan’t-y town…”
@Veronica!: I believe it is still dialectical. But agreed, unless it’s established this villain [sic] is from somewhere in the British Isles — very much not in evidence — this is just dumb and distracting.
Wait, you are using “Shan’t”? You just want to give another reason to Tracy to shoot you?!
Mail by owl is Harry Potter, mail by raven is Game of Thrones. I would have guessed the latter would be more to Leroy’s taste, but I guess he’s disgusted by all the incest. Gross, sex with your family by blood! Leroy doesn’t even have sex with his wife by marriage!
Heathcliff bet that his artist would manage to paint two people at the window without screwing up perspective and the glass effect. Really poor bet!
Uncle Violet flew as a pilot
And there ain’t no pretty cats ‘cept Sofie
Now he runs a tidy little bookie joint
Mr. Heathcliff always laughs at his jokes
I think this cartoon still shows Heathcliff as a winner. He stills bets the old-fashioned way, through a bookie, limiting how much he can bet, instead of destroying his savings and credit store through some betting app open 24/7, lime tens of millions of Americans
@Bob Tice: I think you’re thinking of Desmond Dekker’s 1967 classic: “Here come a rude boy/In a shan’tytown…”
The thing with Heathcliff is this could go a couple of ways. Heathcliff’s bookie could become a beloved(-ish) recurring character like Garbage Ape, or he could end up in a shallow grave, or he could reappear with a helmet reading LAUGH. It just depends on how hard the whimsy is going that particular day.
The Lockhorns: The logo is indeed a nice touch, but (sincere question), has anyone ever seen a white USPS carrier bag? [Mental note: check Lands End totes catalog]
DtM: Dennis knows no adult male can resist taking a try on his scooter.
“That’s worth one, maybe two broken hips.” He thinks.
Menace factor: High.
Luann: I feel I ought to snark about Phil’s online certified nursing assistant course as I’m sure CNA programs require some minimum in-person clinical training hours, but honestly that’s the least egregious misrepresentation of higher ed in this strip.
DT: “Shan’t leave this evidence behind!” thinks a man who has left a paper trail three miles wide and enlisted his wife’s idiot nephews as accomplices.
H’Cliff: If Heathcliff isn’t completely neutered, he’d laugh at his bookie’s hat. Instead of the classic Guys and Dolls-style fedora he’s wearing one of those little decorative numbers sported by Victorian women and steampunk cosplayers.
MW – How long before Mary refers to Belle’s homicidal tendencies as “endearing quirks”?
B. Bailey: How much does notorious cheapskate Gen. Halftrack hate his wife? To discourage solo travelers, cruise lines charge 2x the price for a single yet Amos still springs for separate rooms.
The Lockhorns-“I thought I smelled sulfur.”
MW-“I can fit you in for a seven o’clock dinner.”
MW-“I can shove Toby out of the way. I’m tired of hearing her complain about how Ian can’t get it up anymore.”
C’shaft: Where have you been, Jeff? You’re living with the monster the pitchfork-bearing mob will come after.
Dustin: For half a second, I pitied Dustdad for being so indoctrinated into hustle culture that he thinks getting up to stretch is a luxury he cannot afford. Then I remembered that he likes being a joyless workaholic and considers it a sign of his moral superiority, and the feeling went away.
JP: “I’d hoped that when Reena left the country, it would be to get away from your family drama…”
Luann: I feel like Phil’s “certification” is on the same level as those websites that will ordain you so you can officiate at your cousin’s wedding.
MW: “Oh, NOW you have a bad feeling about someone, Little Miss ‘My Boyfriend Is A Sweet Guy, Really’? Well, you can just go right back to your dad’s psycho girlfriend at let her stab you for all I care.”
Pluggers are paranoid idiots.
I like to think that Loretta’s mother knows damned well how to send an email or text, but sends actual letters just to needle Leroy.
MW: Mary senses this is a big deal, so she skips right past the basket of muffins and goes straight to a dinner invite. Might be the best thing she does all year.
Pluggers, thinking that Russkies have to spy on us in this day and age, are reaching DJ 3000 levels of humor.
MW: I’m betting Belle has a collection of skin suits, which she is hoping to add to.
MW: No one deserves the punishment of Mary glops and glorps for dinner…even Dawn.
Mary’s hair back to normal today too…
DT – I don’t read Dick Tracy, but I know the guy in the last panel is a villain because he uses “shan’t.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Whatcha doing, Sis?”
“My makeup”
“Why?”
“Trying to hide your advanced age?”
“Says the guy who looks twice my age and has the mind of a little kid!”
@Bob Tice: good point, there was that one song about a guy who was adamant that he shan’t eat a town…
@ValdVin: Anything that moves the story faster is good with me.
Lockhorns: Leroy’s negative attitude is understandable. Loretta’s mom keeps mailing her DIY prefilled divorce templates.
1. Named parties, __Loretta Lockhorn__ V. __Mr Asshole__, residing in the state of __New York__……
FC: Yes, little girl…the sky *did* fall down…in a cloud of radioactive ash from the thermonuclear blast that ended the world. No more Barbie dolls for you…
@Pozzo: #4
I love it! I bet that band would have awesome pyrotechnics, too!
Shan’t leave this evidence behind, wouldn’t be cricket now, would it? Her Majesty dasn’t even think of such a thing, God Save Her. Anyway, the bobbies are on the way, pip pip, old boy, and toodles to the incriminating little blighters. Man, why did I wait so long to get in line at villain college. That’s why I ended up as British Internal Monologue Man. Well, at least I beat out old Billy and didn’t end up as Cockney Rhyming Boy, or I’d be right Brahms and Liszt!
Heathcliff – …and I said, sleep with the fishes – he’ll, he’s down there fuckin’ ‘em….
Schlockhorns – Well, that explains Leroy’s homunculus visage….
DT – Yes, Judge – rubber stamp – we need it and right now….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
DT – The evidence is the booze, right? So he’s just going to polish off that glass before leaving. Probably even more evidence in his desk. Better not leave that behind either.
DT: I don’t know the name of the ne’er-do-well in the last panel, but going by Dick Tracy naming conventions I assume it’s something along the lines of Smugface von Punchable.
@Peanut Gallery:
Abundio continúa su deslizamiento hacia la senilidad, y quizas quiera comerse la cara de su hermana.
Heathcliff – Coloring by John Mellencamp.
@Daisy: In my meaningless, unsolicited opinion pyrotechnics by definition are awesome.
Lockhorns: Leroy’s bitter about being a Squib.
MW: Hmm, what would be more preferable: dinner with Wilbur and his new lady friend with the Karen haircut and meth addict eyes or dinner with Mary Worth who wears a cowl and goes out of her way to get in everyone’s business?
Either way, I wouldn’t touch the food.
Oh, I get making his family dress in Heathcliff branded tracksuits now. He wants a supply of patsies to confuse his bookie’s goons into breaking the legs of the wrong “Heathcliff”.
@Old Man Shadow:
“I’m Heathcliff!”
@Violet: Now you’ve got a re-enactment of the “I’m Spartacus!” scene in my head but with people wearing Heathcliff tracksuits.
The Hateeachothers: Meanwhile, in the real world: Trump is demanding the “independent” board running the USPS name a member of the FedEx board of directors as the new Postmaster General.
The union representing letter carriers says this sets up a plan to divert all USPS package deliveries to private companies like, hmmmm, FedEx.
The nominee, like the nominee to run physical operations at USPS, also has a long history in garbage collection and disposal in Florida.
So.
Trash can-tossing Heathcliff is now in charge of YOUR mail.
@TheDiva:
True, but he wears it with such panache!
@Needless Exposition:
Mission muthafuckin accomplished.
@Violet: Ah, so that’s why the original joke was about flour! Breaded and fried… I wonder if there’s a makeup regimen that involves dipping one’s face in raw egg first.
DT: “don’t want to mess up your case by not having a legal warrant, Sam” – we can’t end all cases with Dick plugging the alleged perp with his gun. Again, looking forward to the wrap up.
MW: Finally what no one really wanted: MW appearing in MW. How is going to determine Bats is a real threat? Well, if she uses the internet to dig around in the Belfrey then it shows MW is learning.
RMMS: Well played Nik – since she just barged into your work to dump you, you need to take it nonchalantly and just get back to work.
@Treetown: If they have Mary Worth, known Luddite who complained about her closeted boyfriend spending too much time on his iPad, looking up information online instead of Dopey Dawn, it would be hilarious. These people can’t even be drawn holding smartphones correctly let alone using them.
GA: Oooh.
A joke about the cost of eggs.
How timely.
COMICS: The Pulitzer awardees were announced a couple days ago. This year the category of “Comics Commentator” was again snubbed. I guess there’s nothing we can do about that, right?
MW: holy crap! Mary’s panties have fallen off, haven’t they?
FG: I’m calling it, The Margrave is none other than Ming. He seemed to know all Flash’s combat moves. And, foreshadowing, Flash has evaded taking credit for Ming’s death when people mention it. Now Ming is back, but concealing his identity for reasons unknown, except that he does get to associate with Queen Hotsy-Totsy.
My favorite use of “shan’t” comes from the film This is Spinal Tap; David St. Hubbins commenting on Nigel Tufnel leaving the band: “We shan’t work together again.”
Then again, he was heavily sedated at the time.
COMICS: The Pulitzer awardees were announced a couple days ago. This year the category of “Comics Commentator” was again snubbed. I guess there’s nothing we can do about that, right?
LUANN: Phil, get Mrs. Horner a medical checkup. The cultivated senior starts out with TWO slices of lasagna .
CURTIS: You broke a heart. Fix it by friending Chutney, and caption photo with, “Long-time friends “. That’s vague enough to drive Michelle crazy.
@Activist: Meanwhile, the award for cartooning went to ex-WaPo employee and original Thursday Sixth Chik Ann Telnaes. So once again, condolences to Tom Batiuk for another year.
@Dr. Larry Erhardt: WaPo mentioned the award in the online headline but did not mention Telnaes by name.
According to Daily Cartoonist, Telnaes and the controversy leading to her resignation were mentioned in the WaPo article, but I’m not going behind the payroll to find how deeply they buried the lede.
TWO TRUE TALES:
#65 GA: BK has had this wonderful breakfast deal, coffee and either sausage or egg-n-cheese biscuit for $3. But deal ended, and now buying them separately is only about $2.50 for sausage biscuit, but the senior coffee with egg-n-cheese is about $5.
MW: I bought my first tub of tofu a few days ago. The drained water makes for a good thickening and the gelled solid is bland enough to accept a range of seasonings. Does Mary now keep tofu or beans in her pantry at all times awaiting Dawn? Please share if you have a good recipe.
#68 FG: you’re right, Margraves identity will be weak link. I obviously was wrong about guessing it was Zardok but would Ming acquiesce to bein #2.
@Dr. Larry Erhardt:
#71 Does she currently have another strip we can read?
LOCKHORNS
Mailman: Well folks, here’s today’s haul … looks like three solicitations from divorce lawyers, this month’s copy of Passive Aggressive Illustrated, and … what do we have here? A letter addressed to Loretta? Make sure it doesn’t contain any white powder.
Loretta: It’s from my mother.
Mailman: Your point being … ?
@Activist: I have a great recipe for “tofu & steak”.
Prepare a heated skillet.
Acquire a large porterhouse.
Season the steak.
Put steak in pan.
Throw tofu in trash bin.
@UncleJeff:
#76. Thanks! Sounds like my mom’s heirloom recipe for stone soup. #1.55 at Aldi invites experimentation.
Bound and Gagged –
Uh…that’s not what ‘pre-nut’ means
Ask 9CL
@Activist: She has a Substack, as is the case with many other big-media refugees. I’m not a subscriber, so I don’t know what she’s posting.
@Professor Well Actually: Or a collection of heads that she switches out like Princess Langwidere from “Ozma of Oz” in which depending on the head she wears, also changes her personality. Langwidere almost added Dorothy’s head to her collection before her friends intervened.
@White Rabbit: FG: Looks to me like Margrave’s a magic-or-cloned Flash knockoff, made to be a match for Flash but distingishable by those lines (wrinkles? scars?) we see at the edge of the face
Look, maybe Heathcliff feels bad for his bookie. Maybe his debts are the reason his bookie got his right hand cut off. Of course Heathcliff won’t care to make that up to him, but he’s not a complete monster and can indulge him in a couple bad jokes afterward.
The Schlockhornes may not respect each other, but at least they respect Big Postal.
FG: Yeah, I can’t see Ming taking a menial position under one of his vassals. He would REALLY hate that. The Margrave is more likely a Kiran-magicked Flash clone, or maybe the one guy who could take Flash out….Buck Rogers!
Bonus points to White Rabbit, however, for “Queen Hotsy-Totsy.”
DT: Finish that liquor, Uncle Horrocks — there are little children in Ireland going to bed sober.
Heathcliff: I see Iggy is developing a sense of sarcasm. That mobster guy is clearly not enjoying the jokes Heathcliff is telling him nonstop. I hope when did Heathcliff enjoys his new career as a bookie.
Between Friends: Stop postponing the inevitable, Maeve. You know you’ll break up as soon as the daughter ( does she even have a name?) has her hissy fit. Go ahead and dump the smarmy skunk now and call Steve.
@Dr. Larry Erhardt:
@Activist:
I subscribe to her Substack feed. I like her. She has guts.
@UncleJeff: #76
Love it!!!!
MW; Belle is also known as Buffalo Belle.
@Professor Well Actually:
Nice! Silence of the Doves!
Heathcliff – What a two-timing little turd.
@Arabella: Benoit will be horrified to find his Parisian-raised daughter has “gone native” and now looks exactly like one of the pepperpots from Kids in the Hall.
DT: Sam gets cut off by the jump from one location to the other, but I like to think he was about to say “We need rock ‘n’ roll to satisfy our souls.”
H-Cliff: Heathcliff is staying on the good side of a man who could have thugs break all his limbs and tail. Truly he is everycat (who somehow got thousands of dollars in debt to a shady bettor.)
Lockhorns: From what we’ve seen of Loretta’s mother she looks a lot like Leroy in drag and nothing at all like Dame Maggie Smith.
BB: The cover of the brochure just reads “Cruise!” which makes it look like his wife and he aren’t actually taking a cruise but going to see a peppy stage musical about one. If that’s the case the fantasy about having separate cabins won’t save him.
Dustin: Once again it’s time for Dustdad to indulge the fantasy that he’s vital to his law firm.
GT: If memory serves, Clambake got that nickname in youth for incessant chatter about a clambake (he said) he’d been to. You take your badges of honor where you find them, and he’s keeping this one.
Luann: At least we have Mrs. Horner’s pure and wholesome love of lasagna to see us through the morass. What is her position on Mondays?
MW: Dinner at Mary’s place, where at least you don’t have to worry about being intentionally poisoned.
Phantom: Get yourself a gun that goes BLAM! and not one that goes BUP! BUP! BUP! BUP! like an angry Kramer.
RMMD: Buck up, Niki. You’re still the strip’s resident towheaded doofus, whereas…I’m blanking on the name…Travis just looks like Shorty and the Beanpole had a teleporter accident.
LUANN: Yes indeedy, a ginormous double helping of lasagna is exactly what is recommended for dinner for a dialysis-patient. Just ask Phil, who didn’t mention that California CNA certification requires at least 100 hours of supervised clinical work in a state-approved facility. I didn’t realize it was possible to do that online. California is indeed a wondrous place.
MW: At this point, I will be pitifully grateful if anyone in MW ever thinks to look for Belle online. So far, it’s like reading a story about people who use outhouses and have never heard of indoor toilets.
Phantom: Are we devolving into McEldowney World? Savarna has taken down an assassin with a long gun and an assassin with a (semi?) automatic rifle, using only a sidearm. She gonna shoot down a fighter plane tomorrow?
@Earl: This begs the question, can Heathcliff talk? Does the Bookie understand Cat?
@Ukulele Ike: I need to get my mind off of Doctor Who, as when I read “Pepperpots” my mind immediately jumped to Daleks.
@Ukulele Ike:
If the next story is a flash-forward to the young adult lives of Heloise’s nympho twin daughters we heard it here first.
@Professor Well Actually: Dawn puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
@Ukulele Ike: Yeah, I can’t see Ming taking a menial position under one of his vassals.
You’ve put your finger, or something, on the weak point in my analysis. Ming would need to be hiding from something pretty damn dangerous to do that. The evil, or misguided, Flash clone is a good idea!
Stuffy Smith- Hey kid! Eat me!
Dick Tracy: Three panels, three incomplete sentences. I guess someone knows what’s going on,
BB – They didn’t tell you Miss Buxley is booked in the same room as the General.
GA: $20 a dozen, wow. I would never have known that eggs were selling for that much if I hadn’t read GA today. I knew that reading GA would pay off eventually, yes.
Family Circus – Even I’m not as stupid as that little shit.
@Poteet: What Clovia didn’t tell Slim is the 20 bucks was for four dozen eggs because she wants Slim to cut down on eggs and she knows he’s a gullible putz.
@The Egg Man (goo-goo g’joob): “Gullible Putz” is going to be my band name.
Phantom – “I thought this was a nice, quiet country where I could kill someone in peace. What’s the world coming to?”
Gassed Up Alleycats: Clovis buys her eggs at Eggxon/Mobil.