Josh has questions
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Dennis the Menace, 6/5/25
I know that “ha ha, this little boy is repulsed by the idea of heteronormativity” is one of Dennis the Menace’s go-tos, but to do a “Dennis says something inappropriate in front of strangers who have never been in the Mitchell household before and, after this incident, will never be there,” the stakes need to be higher. Like he should be saying this to a woman, or a couple, or should be saying “I’m gonna be a confirmed bachelor — that’s what my dad says you are!” As it is, this is just kind of a non sequitur that this random grown-up can smile and nod at before returning to his normal conversation with Henry. And honestly, this announcement is a little confusing! You’re going to be a bachelor when you grow up? What are you now, married? To whom?
Gil Thorp, 6/5/25
Ha ha, Keri’s just kidding! They’re not getting back together! Unless … why are they touching each other so much. With their hands. Their big giant hands. All the better to touch each other with! You know, sexually.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/5/25
Oh, man, what are the chances, Truck’s bastard kid is also a working-class musician??? In this strip?????? Incredible. What genres do you think he’s into? Roots country? Rockabilly? Surf guitar? Garage rock? It’s one of those, right? Those are the only ones?
187 replies to “Josh has questions”
MW-Yes we know. You don’t have to tell us that Belle is a ding dong. We knew that from day one.
FC-“Does this mean Daddy is no longer our ‘real Daddy’?”
MW: “Let’s not do this the HARD WAY” was the last thing Wilbur heard before the spoon was jammed up his ass.
“When I grow up, I wanna be able to stop you from wearing a mauve shirt with green Chinos! Christ, man, are ALL your mirrors broken?”
Wow. The art in Gil Thorpe is bad. I mean, “who is the artist related to at the syndicate” bad.
MW: MW: And speaking of the spoon, what happened to the glop that was in it before? Is it on the table? In Belle’s apron pocket? Or is it the thing prompting Dawn and Willie to give out with the GULP?
DtM “A bachelor…” /man’s eyebrows raise/ “…of arts…” /eyebrows raise even further/ “…in communications!” /eyebrows flip around like a roll-up blind, man passes out/
MW: DING DONG! Suddenly, Mary shows up with a plate of vegan seafood muffins made with mushrooms. Heh heh.
DtM: “A bachelor!” IDK, maybe it’s a pride month thing.
Red Morgan, M.D.: By “making it,” he means the 1960s colloquialism for “sex.”
RMMD: As a faithful reader of vintage Mark Trail, I recognize the significance of the different, albeit still long sideburns on Truck and Cody. In Mark’s world, they would both be ne’er-do-wells, even if Cody offered some chance for redemption. In this strip, I guess it means we will be seeing TWANG a lot as the pair start making music together.
DtM: You know, I always wondered about Dennis and Joey. I’m expecting a big reveal tomorrow, probably in front of Alice’s bridge club.
I’m not a musician myself, but if a young guitarist says he’s “been in a few bands” that all “came close to making it” wouldn’t you want to know what happened to stop them? Did each of the bands break up, or did Cody dump them whenever they went six months without getting a record deal? Like a Wes Andersson character, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that.
GT I hate rag on the art here again, but I feel like this strip is slowly starting to look like some kind of Shrek fan art…
RMMD I wish I could see the reverse view in that last panel to figure out what Truck is going for with that hand? It looks like he trying to pet Cody like a puppy.
MW: Enter The Meddler!
GT: “Should we stop and get your brother first?”
[Pause]
“Ha ha ha ha ha!!”
MW panel 3: [Ding dong!]
“Put that down, it’s poisoned!”
“Dan Levy! Heidi Gardner! You’ve saved us!”
DtM: I’m imagining Dennis’ happy bachelorhood either in his parents’ basement or in a long series of prisons. (where, as I understand it, it’s not that easy to remain a bachelor)
MW: Mary puts Belle out of action with a fast-pitched muffin to the head. She drops a few platitudes, then leaves, secure in the knowledge that she is surrounded by dipsticks who will ALWAYS need her.
GT: So, after giving everyone stupid i-ended names, Mimi gets to be “Emily” now?
And to think, the art in Gil Thorp has recently improved after complaints that the characters were unrecognizable.
RMMD:
“Mama started telling me that you had a ‘Head Like a Hole’ since the time that I was three years old, so I’ve naturally gravitated toward doing covers of Nine Inch Nails hits!”
@pugfuggly: GT: its last days A3G without Lampy.
RMMD: “What do you do?” “I’m an astronaut. I build swingset onna moon!”
MW: Tomorrow: Wilbur Weston is spooned!
It would be awesome if Mary Worth had one of those T-shirt guns, like at concerts and sporting events, but hers is loaded with muffins!
EAT CHEDDAR, BATSFREY!
Curtis, Next Week: “Boy, I had a hard day, and the train was crowded. I had to stand all the way. But did any young people offer me a seat? No! They were too busy with the social media and talking on their phones!”
Curtis: Greg could and would glare Curtis into admitting the sun rose in the west.
DtM: “Geez. Even the kids know I’m pussy-whipped;” thinks the visitor.
GT:
“I’ve got a better idea, son, that might be more in keeping with what’s on display in today’s installment. How about if the three of us go to see ‘Badly Drawn Boy’ in concert?”
Wary Morth:
Ding Dong Belle
Mary’s bringing hell
Who let her in?
Willa’s little fin!
Who’ll throw you out?
Not Wilby Hon the Stout!
I wonder what the rules are in “Dustin” for who gets eyes, and who gets black dots. Maybe they only have a few and have to swap them around.
@Charterstoned: oh man, now I want vintage Mark to come in and just punch punch punch at least one of these guys. Truck’s sidebars are more “abnormal facial hair” so he will likely take the brunt. Also, vintage Mark was always a bit of a loser, he’d aim for the older frailer target.
Wrecks Moregone:
Meanwhile, music festival organiser:
“We’ll have to hire that Cody twerp again. The only other one available is a Mud somebody.”
“Well, son, I hope you are at least enjoying the great benefit of being a musician”
“The music?”
“Unprotected sex with drunk fans”
“What?!”
“Please, you know how you were born!”
GT – “You misunderstand me. I want my own sundae. None of this ‘splitting’ bullshit. And while we’re in town, I need to pick up some antibiotic ointment for this cold sore on my lip.”
A kid of Dennis’ age would not say “bachelor” but “volcel”. The penetration of manosphere’s misogyny into childhood, THAT’S menacing!
@Bob Tice:
Sadly, the more fitting “Weirdly Octogonal Potato Heads” are not a real band.
(Though Cody Truck played guitar for both).
FC: A little strange that a kid Dolly’s age can differentiate between the significance of a wedding vs engagement ring but perhaps she’s already been paired off with one of the neighbor’s kids. Child marriage is legal in Arizona.
DtM: Horizontal corduroys: moderately menacing.
No, no, Josh, only in your liberal pathetic bubble is repulsed by heteronormativity. I guess you snd the dwindling 20 percent of the population that approve of the similar behavior of the Democrats. You don’t even deserve an “At Least You Tried” cake for this post.
@Yesyotujg: At least you tried.
GT:
“Dad, shall we ask Beth the Bartendress to our little dairy-infused kaffeeklatsch and watch the smoldering dramatic tension develop?”
MW – Finally! Mary is here to set Belle straight. She hustles her off to the kitchen for a long honest discussion of slow acting poisons, and drugs that make people docile. Belle walks away humiliated but grateful that she has more tools in her kit.
Rex Morgan: Truck’s kid looks more like he’s in a band mixing Americana with Straight Edge and funk. “You should hear our cover, ” Muddy Boot(sie)”!
Dennis the Menace: The menace is in the smug look on Dennis’ face, long practiced on Margaret, and now turned on what looks to be a caricature of one of the cartoonist’s friends. Checkmate, you footloose freedom-enjoying bastard! I’m nationally syndicated!
@Little Blue Bicycle: I’ve said it many times before but I really want the last 18 months of A3G in an anthology. At a certain point it becomes like outsider art. I had a couple of anthologies of ‘bad’ pulp comics from the 50s and I feel like that would fit right in.
Unlike many contemporary daily comic strips, Gil Thorp is doing fine work on its background art. [Takes long, silent pause, sips from coffee cup]
MW: At the door are two men in white coats with butterfly nets. After one has scooped up and carried Belle off (upside down), the other says to Dawnie n’ Wilbie:
‘Gee, ‘tanks alot pal, for catching ‘dis gal. Y’know? We’ve been after her for months! She’s positively ring-dingy! Looney Tuney! And Ooofty McGoofty! I feel sorry for the poor squirrel, but the truth is, she’s one hundred percent NUTS!’
That’s all folks!
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: (Alt joke: HOW DID THEY REANIMATE THE CORPSE OF EUELL GIBBONS AND WHAT HAS HE DONE TO DESERVE SUCH TREATMENT)
FC: “Dolly, I’m way more than not engaged to Daddy anymore. Legally speaking, we’re not even married, you little bastards.”
Gil Thorp: I’m glad you’re here to tell me Gil was with his ex-wife in this strip, Josh. Thanks to the Easter Island art style the strip’s current incarnation favors, I assumed Emily was one of Gil’s students. It didn’t explain why they were waltzing in the final panel, but one thing at a time.
MW: when did SWAT teams start using doorbells?
RMMD: this is the best Rene Belluso disguise ever.
MW: Compared to the drawings a number of other comics–repetition, laziness, unidentifiable faces, cut ‘n paste–this close-up of Crazy Eyes Belle is a hoot. A serious amount of effort went into it.
MW: Stop trying to convince us that you’ve seen movies, Moy. You are an alien in a skin suit and it’s been obvious from Day One.
GT: Why are everyone’s jaws wider than their foreheads? Were their heads all bound in infancy?
RMMD: Ah, here’s the real grift. Son here doesn’t want money directly; he wants a job.
Hi&Lois: They’re both asterisms, hmph!
@Professor Well Actually: “When did SWAT teams start using doorbells?”
So that after they’ve sprayed everyone with bullets and demolished half the building with flash-bang phosphorus grenades they can write in the after-action report ‘we tried to enter the domicile peacefully through normal means but nevertheless they resisted and thus had no other alternative but to engage with deadly force.’
MW: To reflect the narration custom that comic writers like Jeph Loeb pioneered, “Ding dong!” should be in a yellow box with an icon indicating that it comes from Wilbur or Dawn. Any thoughts as to what their icons should be?
MW: PLEASE let the next panel in this strip be Belle answering the door and there’s a lady there soft-shoe tap dancing and singing “Dahdah-dahdah-dah-dah! I! Am! Your singing telegram!”
MW: @Lauralot: The storyline would be actually be improved if she turned green and yelled “Belle SMASH!”
DtM: Dennis means he wants to be the Bachelor. He and Mr. Wilson have been binge-watching reality TV.
Dennis takes his hand off the switchblade in his back pocket. This middle-aged fool just gave him the perfect opening for some finely crafted verbal menacing. “A bachelor,” he exclaims. Checkmate.
***
Nu metal has faded enough now that it could be a hipster thing. But, sigh, not with those sideburns.
Dennis’s comment would have been more menacing if he had said it to his mom. With his dad gasping and waving his hands “no, no, no!”
MW: “Candygram!”
H&L: The Little Dipper is much fainter and should be more impressive than finding the Big Dipper, so I conclude Dot’s eyes aren’t half-lidded in disdain but rather squinting as she tries desperately to distinguish any stars with her poor night vision, deflecting any nagging worries about her inability by scoffing at Ditto’s accomplishment
Today’s specials at the diner, the Terry Beatty, six for $5.25.
Dennis the Menace – The creators were so happy to get Kyle MacLachlan as a guest star in this comic, but they ran into a problem of how to add a David Lynchian feel to a decades old strip. The best “Twin Peaks”-like idea that got past the syndicate was “odd child with ambiguous views on queerness, using dating euphemisms to unsettle the guest character and audience alike”.
Rex Morgan, MD – I thought Parker was being set up to take over Truck’s legacy as a rambling itinerant musician, and perhaps Truck, in preparation for his wedding, updated his will to reflect that. It could make a interesting storyline where Truck’s in a coma, and there is the question of who has power of attorney to pull the plug and receive the inheritance – Wanda, Parker, or new found son Cody (with Mud Murphy thrown in due to he and Truck sharing a very sloppy but cheap probate attorney).
Granted, that requires Rex Morgan creators to do medical storylines, and interesting storytelling.
MW: “Land shark!”
RMMD: No, I’m a gynecologist.
Oops, should be Shoe: No, I’m a gynecologist.
Dennis the Menace, panel one: Henry looks at the two roaches skittering on the carpet, hoping the boy can distract the guest.
Dennis the Menace, panel two: The guest spots the five roaches climbing the wall of the staircase, the boy having failed to distract.
Emily Clover is a foot shorter than Mimi Thorp. Who do they think they’re fooling? Mimi is off chasing the fabulous $10,000 purses on the WPGL Tour. She’s slamming down Miller High Life in her RV & never coming back to Milford.
RMMD:
“Now, Cody, did your mama have any partin’ words of wisdom for ya?”
“Yep. She said, ‘ “Patches,” I’m dependin’ on ya, son….’ But my nickname never was ‘Patches,’ so I didn’t even appreciate at the time that she was directing her remark to me!”
DtM – It’s kinda hard to read Dennis here. Is his vow of bachelorhood due to his distaste for Margaret, who has made it plain she envisions a marital future for the two of them? Or is it because he’s also friends with Gina and realizes there’s got to be plenty more like her out there in the sea? I’m betting on the latter.
MW: Ding-dong! One deus ex machina to the rescue!
GT: I’m not sure which bothers me more: panel two, where Gil and Emily are drawn like horrible Down’s syndrome caricatures, or panel three, where everyone seems to be going out of their way to avoid eye contact with anyone.
RMMD: I dunno, if Cory is a session musician getting steady work, I’d say he has a better career than Truck Tyler, who’s stuck singing his one song to the surprisingly robust roots country fandom in Glenwood.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Good one
Blondie: Dagwood Bum-head.
DtM – Heteronormativity ain’t nothin’ but a setting on a pedantic washing machine….
GT – I like the kid’s tongue lolling in panel three. It adds just the right touch of pathos….
RMMD – And he inherited the sideburns, too! I guess it’s better than a Habsburg chin….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
GT – Go to the Bucket and ask for some iodized salt, pronto. You all have goiters.
MW: Uh, Belle? There’s big, green rage monster at the door. Something about stepping on his line…
DTM: For this joke to work perfectly, it really needed to be a Sunday strip with more characters and more panels. Like, for instance, the Sam Waterston-looking guy needs to be sitting next to his wife on that sofa. And the conversation needs a few more beats. Like so:
Waterston: What do you want to be when you grow up?
(Dennis just looks at the man, then very deliberately looks over at the man’s wife. He then returns his gaze to the man.)
Dennis: A bachelor.
(Dennis coolly walks away, leaving the man and his wife in stunned silence. Then Dennis thinks better of it and turns around.)
Dennis: ‘Cause, you know, your wife is a cunt.
@Banana Jr. 6000: MW: Tomorrow: Wilbur Weston is spooned!
_______________________________
And the Sunday quote “You’re not going crazy, Arthur! You’re going sane in a crazy world!”- J. Phobias Tick.
C’shaft: Thanks to invasive personal data scraping, Crankshaft’s AI has tailored its methods to his personal preference of random, wanton destruction.
DT: Why is the art museum in a four-bedroom, three-bath house on 1/2 acre with easy access to schools and shopping?
Dustin: Dustin and his dad…having a beer together? Maybe even bonding? Who the Hell is guest writing this strip today?
JP: And again, zero opportunities for socialization with peer groups in Los Angeles.
Luann: On one hand, Disney animators famously used Xerox photography to speed the process of making 101 Dalmatians. On the other hand, they were creating a feature animated film with over a hundred characters, and not a dozen drawings for a six-year-old’s art project.
MW: Vegas odds for who is at the door:
The police, conveniently alerted by Mary after she did a cursory Google search on “Belle Batsfrey” and realized she’s wanted in three states: 7:5
Mary herself, with a tray of muffins and the same knife she used to cut the brake line on Aldo’s car: 2:1
Carlos Allora, coming in to save Wilbur and Dawn with a heroic sacrifice a la Scatman Crothers in The Shining: 10:1
Estelle and Iris, who heard that someone is trying to murder Wilbur and have made up a big bowl of popcorn to much on while they watch: 20:1
Dirk, incensed that anyone other than him is muscling in on his “abusing Dawn” territory: 1,000:1
Graham Chapman in a major’s uniform, declaring that this whole thing has gotten “too silly” and that we move on to the next sketch: 10,000:1
@Dondi’s Dad: That mental image actually made me laugh, which is maybe the first time I’ve ever laughed at a DtM strip.
Good morning everyone, I wish you all a good day and welcome you to Big Hand Thursday!
RMMD:
“Guitarist. I’m in Rick Astley’s backing band when he’s on tour. I’ve played ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ 16,821 times!”
“Um, gotta scoot, son. Vaya con dios!”
GT: For those of us pondering the disintegrating abstractness of the artwork in this strip, I recommend reading Ray Bradbury’s 1948 short story, “The Shape of Things.” The main characters in that tale are a small blue pyramid (a baby), a white oblong and a white rectangle (the parents). Great story of humans trapped in an alternate dimension of geometric shapes. Unlike “Gil Thorp.”
@Old School Allie Cat:
I’m thinking more that they drank the same tonic Ken Griffey Jr. did, when he played for Mr. Burns.
RMMD: ”Well, could you show me how to do an Am7 chord?”
@Amelie Wikström: Veteran of bands that “almost made it” (that’s a VERY relative term) to spout some science.
Reasons might include: bad business sense/practices, which is what happened to one band I was in. We put out a great record and got some buzz. But instead of investing in a booking agent or manager, the band leader decided to get tee shirts and logoed lighters.
Personal conflicts: I was in a band that was getting courted by Rounder Record and Bloodshot. Sadly, one of the singers (and band founders) and I had a TERRIBLE relationship, so I quit. They got signed by Bloodshot, decided to all live together in the woods, got sick of each other and the band broke up.
Dumb shit: I was on tour with a band called UncleFucker. We were one of two opening acts: it was going great until our drummer and roadie decided to start feuding with the other band, and we got kicked off tour. The band broke up soon thereafter. We were already courting management, so that was a real bummer.
RMMD: I was casually thinking of Mud Mountain Murphy’s arc, and realized what it reminded me of.
Animal Crossing!
In the earlier games your animal neighbours were assholes who would outright insult you to your face, rob you blind, and paint your house without your permission, but they were interesting.
Then in the most recent titles they became so beyond nice, to the point of being bland and uninteresting. Fans used the term “Lobotomy”
So with Mud Mountain Murphy falling into that as well. There seems there should be a literal scientific terminology for this.
I mean, in a sense that’s why we have Oscar the Grouch and Grumpy Bear. The creators need to balance the saccharine so it’s not TOO wholesome.
Rex Morgan – My eye muscles were stuck from that massive eye roll. Fortunately, repeatedly hitting my forehead on the desk unstuck the muscles. Now I can find my way to the bathroom to throw up.
Bliss – If he’s looking for a nice, relaxing read to wind down at bedtime, a book about a psychopath might not be a good choice.
Frazz – The insufferable little genius figured out when he has to stop goofing off. This confirms his superiority.
Mary Worth – Credit where it’s due: June Brigman did a great job on that artwork of Belle.
Speed Bump – Dennis the Menace’s dog.
RMMD: The Sideburns of Near-Fame have been passed to an heir! All hail the new King of shaggy mediocrity!
@Banana Jr. 6000: There’s cake?
“I’ll be a bachelor! Screw you dad, your bloodline ends with me!”
“Ahaha! There are many, MANY men whose bloodline could end with you, but certainly not me!”
@pugfuggly: Bleat!
“Sorry Teri, we are not going back”
“Because you have always been a lesbian?”
“No, your father debunks the ‘born this way’ narrative. He dissuaded me from heterosexuality!”
@Ettorre: Keri, Teri, not that I care
Six Chex and A Cat Named Phillip K. Fish In Search Of A Punchline: I know, better late than never, but still – It’s a little too late to wish Jack Soo to get better. RIP Mr Soo.
Dennis – Mess with their heads more, Dennis! “What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Younger!”
@Victor Von: It’s the all-new Easter Island Thorp™ action figure with Rapa Nui Grip!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Go to the back door and my identical twin brother will pay you”
[Briefcase: COLLECTIONS, INC.]
“No, he always lies”
@Sequitur: I’m glad to hear you’re doing fine and still lurking about!
MW: “Ding Dong” refers to (choose one only)
A. The informal diagnosis of attendants as they wheel in their restraining eqmt.
B. A rescue dinner delivery for Wilbur
C. Announcement of arrival by Muffin Mary, who will offer to eat Belle’s delectable but deadly dish. She will then ask Belle for recipe.
Dennis the Menace-Dennis has the sort of look on his face like he’s going to blackmail this guy. “I know something about you and it would be in your best interest not to upset me.”
@Activist: “Ding Dong” (as in Hostess Ding Dongs) presages the entrance of Zippy the Pinhead, whose absurdist antics will significantly increase the level of logic and coherence in this story.
Beetle Bailey: Great, someone is gonna retire from the military with no pension. I’m betting on Zero.
@Peanut Gallery: Dennis grows up to invent a literal youth serum, meaning 1000X less deaths. Overpopulation reaches critical mass. Menacing Level: Unfathomable.
@ValdVin: Of course, the first bet is free if Beetle signs up on Cosmo’s app, who’s holding paper to look like an honest bookie.
MW: “Ding Dong!”
I loved that old Garfield joke, where the doorbell is ringing “Ding! Ding! Ding!”
Garfield opens the door and it’s a guy from “Ed’s Dong Repair”
@Activist: Mary: Oh Belle dear, this poison is terrible, you couldn’t kill a mouse with it. Let me give you some tips.
RMMD: Look,I know we are all disturbed by the erosion of English grammatical precision, in this case the loss of the subjunctive (“if I wasn’t” instead of the proper “if I weren’t”), but in 2025 we have to relax and accept that the language will survive and change, not try to fight a losing battle with violence — and that even goes for disembodied hands that enforce pedantic rules via strangulation.
@ValdVin: Zero can go home to his family farm and live large on Federal corn subsidies for the rest of his life. No double-dipping at the government trough for YOU, citizen!
@The Rambling Otter: That sounds much more like a Heathcliff joke.
@99 Peanut Gallery:
Thanks. I’m still around.
I have read everyone’s guesses of who is at Wilbur’s door and they are all incorrect, even though they’re quite logical. The big reveal will come Sunday and it’s someone that’s never been in this strip before. I must admit I was quite surprised.
And no, it’s not Dr. Phil or any other real person.
@Astroboy: @Hibbleton: @Yesyotujg: Sick burn dude!
@Peanut Gallery:
#102. Thanks for clarifying, PG. Yes, Hostess Ding Dongs is exactly what I meant but didn’t say. Could any rescue meal be more appropriate for Wilbie?
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
“Whatcha eatin’ Jock?
“Haggis??
“Not fit for man or dog.”
@brendancalling: One of the funniest episodes of VH1’s “Behind The Music” program was on Hootie & the Blowfish.
Seriously.
Darius Rucker had a large cardboard box of stuff he dropped on a table..
He told the interviewer that the song “Hold My Hand” that was their breakout was the 7th time the song was recorded.
The first time, the lead singer of the band quit a week after it was recorded. “I sound nothing like him”.
Two times, the record company that paid for the recordings went out of business.
The band fired one manager and had another quit on them. They retaliated by canceling their contracts.
Another time, the band paid for its own recording and printing. All of the copies and the master tape were destroyed in a fire in Rucker’s car.
Rucker said: “I keep all this to remind myself it took 13 years of hard work to become an ‘overnight success’.”
Sorry. #115 was me. Computer kept a name I used in an earlier joke.
@Sequitur: Let me guess: A relative of Belle’s come to take her back to “Mega Corp,” which is actually a hospital she escaped from?
@Little Guy:
#23. CURTIS: Yes, I’ve always been a woman who believed in practicing equal rights. So decades ago when I saw a young man poorly juggling a load of pkgs along with an infant and toddler, I offered him my seat. He was horrified. Others told me to sit back down as he was a fool.
@Activist: I was on Reddit once, and a woman was talking about how “She was raised to protect herself against men”
She didn’t say predators, or rapists, or abusers. Just MEN.
I (who also believes in equal gender opportunity) told her that not all men are like that. And she venomously started calling me an Incel.
@Lauralot: Or the Mid-Florida men in white.
“Puff…puff…we’ve been after her for months! We even heard a rumor she’d gone on a Caribbean cruise after she found some poor dumb asshole to pay her fare!”
@brendancalling:
#86. Brendan, what an amazing video and band! Were you in the his party? If so, as a player or as a dancer.
@117 Lauralot:
Wow, so close. If we were playing “Party Quirks” on Whose Line Is It Anyway they’d ring a bell and give it to you. You would also get some Mary Worth points which, as you know, don’t matter and are Worthless.
There’s still a big surprise coming.
@Sequitur: She’s married, isn’t she? It’s her husband at the door.
@123 Lauralot:
Nope. And that’s all I’m gonna say.
@Sequitur: #111: It’s either the cop who’s been trailing the infamous Black Widow Killer for years and finally has enough evidence to arrest her or one of her former victims coming for revenge. No, wait, it’s the CEO of Megacorp come to fire her ass.
MW: The police are at the door with a list of pros and cons. Belle is on the list twice, as she is both a prostitute and a convict.
DtM: It’s impossible to get less menacing than paraphrasing Sir Cliff Richard. That’s like, menace level minus infinity.
FG: Wait a minute! We were told we’d see General Tahl get punched unconcious! Yesterday’s “Next” box didn’t say “General Tahl will have been punched unconcious!” I feel cheated!
MW: Since Sequitur says the person at the door isn’t someone we’ve seen before, I guess it can’t be Hanna Dingdon, despite the obvious foreshadowing.
Phantom: Stripey pondering his noble and lonely calling as the guy who lies to everyone for their own good all the time and The Never-Ending Prophecy of Old Man Mozz? It’s the two grating plot elements that grate together!
(Remember when Stripey decided he needed to protect his wife from knowing about The Prophecy, and she was having none of it? Not only has he learned nothing from that, he’s decided to blame Old Man Mozz, because that’s how alien he finds the idea that Diana might actually have agency.)
OTF: Today in “visual metaphors that don’t quite work”, it turns out that Bill Holbrook, professional comics creator, isn’t entirely sure what “perspective” is. He read in So You Want To Be A Cartoonist or whatever about parallel lines meeting at the vanishing point, so bad perspective must be … lines all over the place? And the main figure being upside down? Sure, whatever.
@127 Horace Broon: on Mary Worth
Ha! Good one!
Zits Spanish to English
“Please make me a hamburger.
“And make sure it has onions, tomato, cheese, relish, ketchup, mustard, horseradish and an avocado slice.
“And do something about this dead cat!”
@Ukranazi Stepan: “We’ll have to hire that Cody twerp again. The only other one available is a Mud somebody.”
_____________
It’s Harry Mudd! (Target Audience ref)
@Sequitur: @127 Horace Broon: on Mary Worth
____________________________
Will Dr Jeff join in?
@Sequitur: Zits Spanish to English
“Please make me a hamburger.
________________________________
Would even Willburp eat a Zitburger?
@131 GarrisonSkunk:
Quite an unusual threesome, I must say.
Barney Googled and Snuffed out Smith: They forgot the plops!
DT: It appears Lovejoy doppelganger has threaten the painting but why? He prefers more realism in oils?
MW: Please it be a reality show host and camera man. They tell Wilbur and Dawnie that they have been great guests! They’ll get a home version of the game, and Rice Roni, the San Francisco treat. Belle is given high marks and will advance to villains final.
RMMD: maybe the son will get some rare condition forcing someone with medical training to appear.
GT: The daughter’s knee likes it is sited too low on the leg
@Lauralot: @Sequitur: She’s married, isn’t she? It’s her husband at the door.
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It’s……… Mary….. Python’s Worthless Flying Circus!………………
(Cue the giant foot)
Ziggy Spanish to English
“You came all the way up this mountain to ask me who’s coming to Wilbur’s condo on Sunday?”
Popeye Spanish to English
“And the best thing is you won’t have to do any manual labor anymore!”
“Yes, they do. They have the stupid hats to prove it.”
“Don’t make fun of our cute hats!”
@Sequitur: It’s the blog where everything’s made up, and the points don’t matter. That’s right. The points are just like Mary Worth’s advice.
The Family Circus Spanish to English
“See this little finger here? I’m gonna cram it up my one nostril and I won’t be able to breathe unless you get me a PlayStation®5.”
@Sequitur: @Sequitur: @Sequitur: Great to see you back! I’ve missed your delicate touch with Spanish translation. Es un lenguaje exquisito, verdad?
@141 Ukulele Ike:
Sí, y las niñas tienen pechos grandes.
Heathcliff Spanish to English
“The kids sure do like meat. I think they’re called ‘Meatheads’.”
Poor Poteet. Yesterday she said about Gasoline Alley…
So, a couple of days ago in Gasoline Alley Boog looked like this.
Yet today Boog looks like this. He’s definitely shrunk a foot.
Fox Trot Spanish to English
“Will you sell it to me now?”
“No.”
“How about now?”
“No.”
“Is this a good time?”
“Cram it clown.”
“How am I suppose to be adulting if they won’t sell me Viagra® until I’m 18?”
@Anonymous: RMMD: maybe the son will get some rare condition forcing someone with medical training to appear.
I don’t think the author should be introducing new characters at this stage.
Calvin and Hobbes Spanish to English
“Okay. So here’s a list of all the body parts I’m suppose to get clean when I’m in the tub.
“This list covers everything. There’s nothing I have left unwashed. I have filled all the terms of this washing document.”
“Your dick is dirty.”
@Horace Broon:
#127. PHANTOM: On behalf of Diana to “Thank you”. But for the consciousness raising in OMM’vision, he would have let Savarna be executed in prison months ago. But for OMM’s then showing Diana the vision, he too would have been dead. Sorry, OMM is the hero here. And Diana. Forget you, titular character.
@Activist: I say DUMP Mozz, both Kits, Wheezey and Diana, and turn the strip into ‘The Adventures of Captain Savarna, Girl Murderer,” aka “Whose Sari Now?”
Kadia can be the Robin to her Batwoman, and Manju can do guest cameos as Special Auxiliary Girl Murderer.
GT: The artist has given up even trying.
DT: At some point an unsolved crime must occur.
MW: It appears the creators are in full cinematic mode: dramatic close ups – check, cliff hanger moments – check, major plot holes that are handwaved over – check
RMMD: Wonder when Truck will bring up the DNA test? Or is that Wanda’s job?
GT: “And remember how much fun Jami would have when we brought him along?”
“Who?”
RMMD: Does Truck ask whether Cody is a musician to feel out whether there’s some like-father-like-son here? Or is he looking for entertainers willing to play the wedding for cheap or (let’s face it) free? Probably a little of both.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: “Not a musician, I hope — that’s a hard path.”
”I’m a world-class cello player! And it’s a breeze….I fill up halls every day and spend every concert fucking my pianist over the bench! I hang out on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, where we have a kind of communal living set-up financed by a billionaire Texas oilman and and a billionaire Korean airline owner, who foot all the bills.”
The art in today’s Gil Thorp has improved from “terrible” to “merely crude”.
@152 Ukulele Ike:
“Hi. I’m a hard-strumming guitar player in a garage band. My girl doesn’t understand me but that’s okay because I’ve got an eleven on my amp. I also have a one-eyed cat who tolerates me. And, as a bonus, my balls float in the water.”
C-Shaft: Heavy on artificial? Light on intelligence? As above, so below.
FC: “…because just between us girls, I’m pretty sure you could do better.”
JP: Um, everything okay Ces? Have you considered joining a bowling league or something like that?
Luann: Shannon’s standards for smartness are quite low, but in fairness the people she interacts most with are Bwad, Toni, Luann, and occasionally Shannon’s own actor deadbeat dad.
MW: Hate to break this to you Belle, but one, you’re not Bruce Banner, and two, at least one of them didn’t like you to begin with.
Phantom: As we can see in spite of the shadows, even Devil’s eyes glaze over when the Phantom starts thought-monologuing about the prophecy.
@Ukulele Ike: Oh dearest Lord that’s not a crossover I’d ever ask for.
RMMD “Son, at least tell me you have a girlfriend.”
”Nope, I’m homeless. Which brings me to why I looked you up now…”
@Rube: Your drummer joke is noted and approved.
@Y156 Sequitur: I’m back! Good to see you!
Mary’s Worst: FINALLY! the Charterstone Alexa DING DONG™ alarm is triggered! What took it so long? Josh would like to know!
@Baja Gaijin: I’m back!
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Welcome back, Baja!
Is one of Josh’s questions: What would Dagwood Bumstead look like bald?
Answer: Like one of the Talosians in “The Cage”
A few panels ago, Wilbur wishes he had one of these.
@GarrisonSkunk: At least that Midd had women.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Oh, we’re doing MUSICIAN jokes now?
Concert grand piano player drives from Jersey into Manhattan and parks, his piano in the back seat.
Two blocks walk away he goes “Oh shit! I didn’t lock the car!”
He runs back and, sure enough, there’s TWO concert grand pianos in the back seat!
— Wait, let me tell that one again…
How do you fit five concert grand pianos into a Volkswagen?
Two in the front seat, two in the back seat, and one in the glove compartment.
A variation of Ike’s joke.
A ukulele player suddenly realizes he left his two vintage ukuleles out in his car over night. He rushes outside and his heart drops when he sees that his car window is smashed. Fearing the worst, he peeks through the window and finds that there are now five ukuleles in his car.
What do you call a professional ukulele player who broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless…
@Sequitur: Hey, you took my inverse and made it contrapositive!
— Uke; Grade A geometry study in 1975
What is the difference between a ukulele player and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.
Ukulele jokes are comedy gold!
Here’s a joke certain of you will enjoy.
A dwarf with a lisp goes to visit a stud farm.
“I’d like to buy a horth”
He says to the owner of the farm.
“What sort of horse?”
Said the owner.
“A female horth”
The dwarf replies.
So the owner shows him a lovely mare.
“Nithe horth.”
Says the dwarf,
“Can I thee her eyeth?”
So the owner picks up the dwarf and holds him to show him the horses eyes.
“Nithe eyeth.”
Says the dwarf,
“Can I thee her teeth?”
Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.
“Very nithe teeth…. can I see her eerth?”
The dwarf says.
By now the owner is getting a little fed up but doesn’t want to risk spoiling the sale
Again he picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears.
“Nithe eerth”
He says.
“Now. ..can I see her twot?”
With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves his head deep in just under the horses tail, right into the lady parts.
He holds him there for a couple of seconds before pulling him out and putting him down.
The dwarf shakes his head and says:
“Perhaps I should weefwaze that…”
“Can I see her wun awound?”
@Sequitur: Well, his hair is greying around the edges at least, that’s what spending time with Walt Wallet will do to you.
@Sequitur: I’d swear I heard someone tell that joke on Letterman (CBS era) once. Maybe Jerry Lewis?
@174 Majicou:
I’m not sure who first told that joke but it sounds like something Gilbert Gottfried would have said.
@Ukulele Ike: One that always gets a response is:
Q: What do you say to a guitarist in a three piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise?
@176 Artist formerly known as Ben:
There are some guitarists whom you wouldn’t want to see what happens after the phrase, “Will the defendant please rise?”
@TheDiva: Criticize Bernice all you want, but this is Greg giving us pro-tips from his studio.
@159 Baja Gaijin:
Baja, mi amigo. ¿Qué Pasa?
Surf guitar? For me it’s the Surfrajettes!
https://www.thesurfrajettes.com/
@Sequitur: One Dwarf joke I thought up a while back
Did you hear the one about the Seven Dwarves going for a night out on the town?
They were looking for high hoes.
@180 Brian in STL:
Why, they’re Easy As Pie!
@181 The Rambling Otter:
It’s off to work they go!
A clown comic for Baja.
It may be okay because the clown has no makeup.
@Sequitur: Thank you! Not only did Boog shrink, but he’s once again behaving like the durn fool that some of us GA followers came to know and not love. Yeesh. Also, it’s so nice to see you here again.
Will (clap emoji) Cody (clap emoji) play (clap emoji) Muddy (clap emoji) Boots?
I don’t have any funny comment. I just want to bask in the sublime glory of today’s Mary Worth and look forward to casting my vote in this year’s Worties. Oh my stars.