Indignant Friday
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Rhymes With Orange, 7/11/25
No, see, GoFundMe is the website you use for crowdfunding when you have an unexpected and dire financial emergency of some sort, as is the case here. Kickstarter is the website you use when you’re crowdfunding and you plan to produce something with the money you collect. Since this woman has already eaten and/or drunk whatever was in the minibar, the only possibilities are pretty dire.
Slylock Fox, 7/11/25
Wow, Max Mouse is really excited to finally be the subject of the “How To Draw” feature, huh? “Draw me, children!” he seems to be saying. “Draw me! Make thousands, nay, millions of Max Mouses, one for every home in the land! A Max army! Each Max may be small, but our numbers will overwhelm our enemies!”
Dick Tracy, 7/11/25
God damn it, Dick, that should be “If they got through the time portal, who knows when they ended up.” This is why we don’t give you more time travel stories!
96 replies to “Indignant Friday”
MW: The authorities might want to take a long, hard look at Mary’s browser history.
Slylock Fox:
Wow. This is just like The Picture of Dorian Gray. A life of licentiousness leads a rodent to look just like Max Mouse.
RMMD:
Today’s first panel serves as powerful symbolism that you can stick a fork in the prospect that Cody is actually Truck’s son.
RMMD:
Cody has morphed into Adam Sandler in the first frame.
Dennis the Menace: Oh no! Alice caught Dithers Disease! Just look at that stance. She’s ready to kick
DennisBumstead in the ass!Slylock Fox:
“Auk! Auk!”
Wow. Shanay’s magnificently-rendered parrot is ingeniously calling out the name of yet another bird species.
MW: It’s a good thing that Toby’s going to forget this conversation in an hour thanks to her history of substance abuse.
Slylock Fox:
The brilliantly-limned avian goes on to star in a volucrine spinoff of a Walter Brennan vehicle entitled The Real Macaws.
Hi and Lois: The oddity of seeing a lava lamp in the bedroom of a teenager in 2025 is almost enough to distract that Lois has probably just interrupted her son’s “morning ritual” and his reaction is to ask her to bring him some food.
DT: Ah, yes — the time-honored comics trope of someone showing us the front page of the newspaper while somehow reading the story from the back.
Dick Tracy : “If my wrist radio hadn’t malfunctioned […] You have fixed that, right, Diet?” “Yes, it’s disabled.”
“FUN” “QUIZ” : What does that particular dialog mean?
a) Dick Tracy’s radio was rendered useless by a sudden error message. Diet Smith disabled that message so it won’t happen again.
b) Dick Tracy’s radio worked fine, but that goes against the story he’s giving to the public. So he asked Diet Smith to purposefully break it to sell his version of events.
*************
Safe Havens : “I love this guy when I’m in cat form and he dotes on me and calls me Princess, but I hate him when I’m his human coworker, where we behave as equals! … *HE* must be NEEDY, that’s what it is!”
*************
Slylock Fox : Okay, but what if I want to draw Max Mouse FROWNING? Or with his mouth open?
DtM: Whatever Dennis said, Alice is so enraged she’s starting to do the chicken dance. Enough with the sophistry, Dennis. Start running.
DT: I assume every case Dick leads ends with “Oh, uh, my radio malfunctioned and the other police officers didn’t see anything, but we’re sure the suspect is definitely still alive and we’ll never find him” and then a big cartoonish wink at the camera.
RMMD: “Wanda knows what she’s doin’!” She’s choosing to marry you, Truck. No, she doesn’t.
JP: This guy is Pavel’s hitherto unknown son, isn’t he? What a tweest!!
SF: Ignore the chyron, Kim! Don’t stop giving Ted the chewing out he’s deserved for years!
(Although I am questioning Kim’s brainpower now. She seriously came here without first demanding to know why?)
SF: How to draw Max Mouse: first draw a penis. A short, chubby one. Real chode. Then, uh, give it some eyes I guess?
SF: A smiling Max Mouse? It would have been much more useful to show how to draw a Max Mouse that is screaming in terror as something horrible happens to him in the background.
SFox: I’m holding out for “How to Draw Max Mouse into a Trap.”
SLYLOCK: I know it’s technically for kids, but it would be cool (and educational!) if the parrot whipped around and ate the mouse.
RMMD: At least Cody escaped Paw’s g-dropping gene. (‘Ene?)
@Astroboy: Yeah, it’s time to call bullshit on this whole story. I know Mary saved Olive’s life, and forming a bond over that kind of experience is one thing. But 60-year-olds and children do not become “kindred spirits” over FaceTime from cross country, unless there is some kind of ulterior motive involved.
DT: Wait. The two officers went through the time portal? Won’t they be surprised when they wind up in a future where you can’t just shoot unarmed suspects on sight.
RwO : “It’s a gas-station brand of amphetamine: supresses appetite and cheaper than booze…”
DT: Hey do you remember the hit BBC mystery-drama Lovejoy ? Yeah, me neither, but I was surprised to learn that it was so successful that it created generational wealth for an entire family. Theyre part of the global elite, like the makers of Jonathan Creek and Inspector Morse
@Schroduck: Start by drawing a penis riding a chariot. Then turn the page upside-down…
@Banana Jr. 6000: Without Wilbur around, Moy has to redirect all that “needs to be on a watchlist” levels of creepiness and decided that Mary was good enough.
@pugfuggly: @Schroduck: Who are you two, and why are you stealing Scratchy Scrotum’s bit?
Luann: And speaking of things to call bullshit on: so Bernice needs to “find herself” now? God, I hate that phrase so much.
Two days ago, I called Bernice “a mediocre person who thinks she’s a lot more deserving of success than she really is, and thinks she’s some kind of overlooked-in-her-own-time super genius.” And people like this just looooove pretending they’re the star of Eat Pray Love. If there’s one thing Bernice doesn’t need, it’s a long, pointless, self-indulgent, condescending vacation to “find herself” on someone else’s dime.
If you want to re-invent yourself, I’m all for it. But reinvent yourself where you are, or reinvent yourself in a productive way.
Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids: Ooooh, now do Slylock’s other sidekick, Pizza Rat Pat.
@Needless Exposition: Toby should at least be arching an eyebrow at this very questionable story. But I imagine she’s probably sloshed, so maybe someone else will? NOT WILBUR NOT WILBUR
Six Chix: Are you saying this lady might have to do something truly desperate, say — just for example — write a mass-transit-themed novel?
MW: I wouldn’t have said I was kindred spirits with a teenager when I was one, let alone as old as Mary is supposed to be (Disaffected, nihilistic youth for the win!), so for me there is no other way to interpret this than exceptionally, exceptionally creepy.
Just as a for instance, would you ever expect Mr. Wilson to settle down in his recliner and say to Mrs. Wilson, “You know, me and that Dennis, we’re really kindred spirits, Martha…”
Actually, never mind. Don’t answer that.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Anyone who finds Eat Pray Love relatable and even admirable also thinks that Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City isn’t an adult spoiled brat incapable of thinking about anyone that isn’t herself.
Mary Worth: Mary is really going to be pissed when she finds out Olive is fucking Ken Kensington.
Zits: Tess, that isn’t his knee.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Wilbur would not only enable Mary but add to the creepiness and say that he should come too. It’s a good thing for them that the only thing close to law enforcement is a crooked former cop.
Dick Tracy: “Yes, yes, the malfunctioning time-travel watches are all squared away. Terribly sorry we accidentally condemned that kid to life in God knows what era and all that. More important, are you still going with ‘Trigger Happy Cop’ in the fourth out at Neo-Arlington?”
@Banana Jr. 6000: Especially since Bernice has already ‘re-invented’ herself one-and-a-half times. Lest we forget, she debuted a ‘new’ hairdo at High School graduation, AND became a ‘muse’ to Nil the One-Eyed Artist!
Generative AI will not destroy all artistic jobs, for example humans will still get to draw Max, mainly because the AI could not be bothered to
@Fred Astaire’s Face: Mary would be pissed. The audience, however, is laughing.
MW: if Toby had a functioning brain she would call Olive’s parents with a warning about creepy Mary.
MW – “Olive and I are kindred spirits!” “I see… how many is a kindred?”
MW no no no – who the heck let Mary read Anne of Green Gables? And how far has the artist’s de-ageing gone that she could seriously think this about a teenager??
Luann Ah yes, the stereotypical advanced studies psych student (well, aspirationally) who takes that path to analyze herself – sorry, Bernice, you’re still not special
I never noticed the way Max Mouse’s eyeballs are somehow placed in front of the brim of his hat! They must be on stalks!
Tell you what, Weber. You agree to never show Max’s hideous anatomy in profile, and I’ll agree never to mention this again.
MW: Meanwhile, miles away, a troubled young man packs the last of his meager belongings into his leather duffel bag and deftly zips it shut. He looks around the room for the last time, pauses in thought, then shakes his head and walks out resolutely, closing the door behind him. Downstairs, he faces the moment he had been dreading. An older man frowns in concern as he waits at the front door.
“Are you sure this is what you want, son?” the man asks, putting his hand on the young man’s shoulder.
“Honestly?” The young man gives a hollow smile. “The truth is, I don’t know WHAT I want. I just don’t seem to be finding it here. And staying here in spite of how I feel isn’t helping. We both know I have to leave, if I have any hope of coming back to stay.”
“But, son,” the old man protests, “Why New York? Everything you have, everything we’ve both worked for is HERE! And when I die, it’s all YOURS. I depended on you to carry on, after I’m gone.”
“I know,” the young man replies. “I just need…time. And a new perspective.”
“You need guidance, and advice from someone who cares about you. You don’t know ANYONE in New York.”
The young man smiles ruefully. “That’s true, for now. But I’ll meet someone. There are a lot of people out there. I need to meet some of them to know if my life is with them, or with you.”
“But…!”
“But I’ll never get the chance, if I don’t make my flight.” He holds up his airline ticket with its seat number. “Row G. I guess that means ‘Goodbye’ for now. I wish I’d gotten the window seat.” He smiles wistfully as he removes his clerical collar and carefully puts it on a nearby table. “It’s going to be a long flight.”
Back at Charterstone, Mary prepares to leave on her trip. “Thanks for giving me a ride to the airport, Toby.”
“No problem, Mary! I hope you get a good seat on the flight. That’s a long trip.”
“Oh, yes, I got a window seat. Row G,” she says, giving her ticket a last glance before putting it into her purse. She snapped the clasp on the leather bag. “And I love long flights. You can meet such interesting people!”
“Well, maybe you’ll meet someone you can introduce to Olive. She’s past old enough to have a boyfriend—if only she weren’t kept cloistered with her parents in that stuffy apartment! And no offense, Mary, but a young woman needs more friends than one older woman who lives 3,000 miles away and communicates only over video calls. She must be absolutely starved for physical contact.”
Mary sighs and smiles thoughtfully. “Perhaps.”
CS: For the second day in a row, Crankshaft is watching a TV commercial straight out of 1982. Is the janitor nudging time again?
Pluggers: I don’t know why a Plugger has food in his shirt pocket, but I do know why it’s a french fry and not a carrot stick.
Frazz: How did “fell off a unicycle” become a lecture on active living? Because it’s Frazz.
JP: Okay, I’m not up on my Judge Parker lore, but aren’t the two women being a little casual about all this? Given April’s background, shouldn’t her merely showing up at their cafe in Norway set off a klaxon of “we have to get out of here NOW!” alarms?
RwO – Just run it the fucking card…and don’t call me Bill….
SFx – My nemonic for step one of a Max Mouse drawing is it starts with a cock, balls and cock ring….
DT – You have fixed that, right, diet? I’m totally mystified – Diet Right Cola – intravenously introduced yielding the dark man in the hat?
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Frazz: How did “fell off a unicycle” become a lecture on active living? Because it’s Frazz.
And it’s crazy because at one point it was about dealing with the fact that you have to be inactive (or at least, less active than you were) when you’re recovering from a serious injury, but then it turned right back into “Frazz is SOOOOO superior to all these sedentary couch potatoes!”
I think you mean “HOW TO VIOLATE COPYRIGHT Max Mouse”, Bob. I’m surprised the syndicate keeps letting you get away with this. If the kids want a picture of Max to stick on their fridge, they can ask their grandparents what a newspaper is.
MW-“Toby, the love between an elderly lonely woman like me and a rather impressionable child like Olive is special.”
MW-Mary is talking in a roundabout way so she doesn’t end up on a list.
FC-Don’t do it, Bil. It’s a trap.
Blondie-What office operates like this nowadays? I’m surprised Dagwood hasn’t filed a complaint with HR or tried to organize a strike.
RwO — That hotel clerk is a real Melvin. All the cool kids know you pay your minibar tab with a GoFundMe. Kickstarter is for the in-room phone charges. . .
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: why are you stealing Scratchy Scrotum’s bit?
Was his ‘bit’ the model/inspiration for the design of Max Mouse?
Aw come on, don’t show everyone that your art puts way less effort in than a 12-year-old.
Rhymes With Orange-Hotel minibars are still a thing? I thought they went away with things like leaving a hooker on the pillow.
DT: “We’ll never find him”? Dick, aren’t you supposed to be the crime solver here? I get that you won’t be able to just shoot the guy, but at least pretend to give a shit.
In Tracy’s Icarus, for instance: how everything turns away
Quite leisurely from the brutality; the policeman may
Have heard the shot, the forsaken cry,
But for him it was not an important failure; his bodycam was off
As it had to be under union rules as the perp disappeared into the timestream;
And the expensive delicate city-wide surveillance system that must have seen
Something appalling, a man falling out of time itself,
Had someone else to watch and spied calmly on.
Musée des Brute Arts, Auden
RwO: Yeah, she’ll need kickstarter.de for that.
Sly: Max is going to be disappointed that the featured art will kill and eat him.
@Liam: Was in a hotel with a minibar just last week. It was a Four Seasons though, they tend to be a little old school.
DT: I kind of admire Dick Tracy’s dismissive calm here. Two men, one of whom has zero qualms about disrupting the timeline for his own personal gain, are out there wreaking who knows what kind of temporal havoc and he just shrugs and says “not my circus, not my monkeys.”
“Pay attention children. When drawing Max, remember that his eyes pops out of his skull more than half their size, to the point that his hat rests its weight on his very eyes. It’s a fundamental detail, because his constant pain explains why Max is never able to have smart ideas”
Good to know that the basis of Max Mouse is a weightlifting shrimp.
@Anonymous 44: Why the hell was Frazz riding a unicycle in the first place? That’s not an “extreme” activity in any sense. It requires skill, but it’s not dangerous or demanding enough to be smug about. Especially considering that Red Panda has been in the news for getting hurt during a performance. Now *that’s* what extreme unicycling looks like.
“So how are you going to handle this, Tracy”
“I can’t, it’s a no win battle, we cannot do anything”
Points for honesty!
Crankshaft – This is lame even by Batiuk standards.
Mary Worth – What? Olive is a smug, muffin baking know-it-all who spews platitudes at everyone she knows?
Frazz – We get it. Frazz is superior to everyone. He’s inspiring. Too bad he isn’t inspired to jump off a cliff.
JP – Wait a minute. This business with April was alleged to be another “This is absolutely your last CIA operation. We mean it this time.” Instead, this guy is threatening her over what appears to be a personal issue. It’s still nothing I want to read about, but I feel misled.
Rhymes with Orange – Given the decline in newspaper circulation, you’d think a comic creator would be doing the research of how to sustain themselves in whatever project follows the inevitable cancellation of this strip. For instance, most comic creators would go with a Patreon for continuing financial support while they work.
Slylock Fox -The Animal Regime needs to manufacture compliance for their inevitable replacement of humanity, and harnessing young artists to become the foot soldiers of propaganda is key
Max graffiti will become the sigil of the initial underground, while the featured artists like 12 year-old Shanay are being trained toward the formal murals and posters for when the Regime first takes over.
Dick Tracy – Dick Tracy is an adherent to the idea that all time is happening at once, so its silly, when you have time travel, to worry about the when if you don’t know the where first.
SFx What amuses me about the Max drawing instructions is that they seem far closer to the “how to draw an owl” meme than the steps my kids actually follow in Dog-Man graphic novel appendices
Slylock – Poor Bob Weber Jr. has been trying for years to get the kids interested in drawing generic bears and pirates and whatnot, and all they ever send him is drawings of copyrighted characters from anime and Disney movies. So maybe the kiddos will at least be willing to draw one of Weber’s own characters? I hope it works, Bob, but don’t hold your breath! (Say, isn’t that parrot Iago from Aladdin?)
Don Abundio, translated:
“I hate drinking at the Excelsior Club… I don’t know why I let you drag me there!”
“Quit complaining!”
“Besides, they seem to be stuck in the 1920s”
“That’s ridiculous, Abundio”
“Now, tell them Joe sent you!”
Slylock Fox-This is a test right? If you can draw Max then you can win a contest.
@Ettorre: “So how are you going to handle this, Tracy” “I can’t, it’s a no win battle, we cannot do anything”
Lisa would have liked that.
C’shaft: Is Crankshaft watching a broadcast from a strange hidden civilization, like in Lizard Music?
Dustin: In today’s strip, the character of Dustin stands for the strip Dustin as a whole.
GT: So are they engaged now?
JP: I guess April’s extreme close-up is supposed to read as “distrustful and cunning” but it reads more like “still severely jet lagged.”
Luann: No, Bernice, what he said was “Shut UP already! By Triton, I live in a glass tank the size of a carry-on bag without so much as a little castle or a few strands of plastic kelp in it, and even I think you’re boring!”
MT: So? It’s a peacock, not a freaking albatross. Listen for the sound of a hog caller trying to cough up a hairball and walk in that direction, you’ll find him.
MW: It is possible, of course, for a teenager to have a meaningful, non-creepy relationship with an older person. They gain mentorship and wisdom, and the elder receives perspective and understanding which prevent them from turning into the writer of Dustin But anyone who refers to such a relationship as “kindred spirits” is just asking for a surprise visit from Chris Hansen.
Phantom: The human trafficking warlord who talks like a puffed-up middle manager is a more trenchant rebuke of modern corporate culture than anything Dilbert has done in decades.
Pluggers even surprise themselves with the extent of their slovenly behavior.
SH: Does it still count as “pet play” if your default form is a cat? Asking for a friend.
Pluggers forgot “A Plugger can’t figure out how dipping sauce, sesame seeds, and shredded cheese got into his keyboard”. (Take it from a professional.)
Gasoline Alley: Automotive engineer and trade secrets are a heavy lift. Does anything about Slim give off the “I know how to adjust drum brakes and I’ve rebuilt a carburetor” vibe to you?
Arlo and Janis: Okay, this is a good turnaround from where yesterday’s entry started. A lot of skilled musicians don’t discard their sheet music.
The Lockhorns: Did Leroy only marry someone to do the cooking and the cleaning? And was his mother a better cook than Loretta? (The second question is rhetorical–we’ve seen her burnt coleslaw.)
BG&SS: Don’t say you dreamed you were Superman. As an immigrant, he’s very white, but is that the kind of chance you want to take, Jughaid?
MW: Kindred spirits in air quotes isn’t the brag you think it is, Mary.
Blondie: Dagwood, if you’d just have dropped “synergize” and read something off the Successories poster behind Dithers’ head you would have convinced him.
Luann: Bernice’s relationship with this fish is already better than any human/animal pairing in Santa Rosa except Wilbur/lobster.
@Fred Astaire’s Face:
If Pimento is truly a “kindred spirit,” her relationship with Ken Kensington would be limited to closed mouthed kisses! And blue balls for Ken.
Personally, I’m hoping Pimento is now dating Shove Shovington and has joined his band of Central Park muggers.
@Bob Tice: 38
Oh…my…head…that was…just brilliant!!!
@Daisy:
…unlike my keyboard skills…doggone “shift” key messes me up every time…*you* did this to me, Mr. Bob Tice, *#8*
#8#8#8#8…GAAAA!!!
MW: “Olive and I are kindred spirits. By that I mean that we are demons being harassed by Amy Bruni, Adam Berry, and that pesky Chip Coffey on the TV show Kindred Spirits.”
DT – Inspector Spacetime would never be so cavalier.
RWO: She needs $50,000 in pre-seed angel funding because she used the contents of the minibar to achieve cold fusion.
@Pozzo: DT: He’s over it already, and just reading about baseball. It’s Dick’s problem now.
Luann: I thought the fish was upside down in the last panel.
Gasoline Alley: No, you’re going to use the prize money to fix your truck, you gluttonous moron. Who gets this excited about eggs?
S4th Ted only said “childhood” painting, ex-neighbour who came to hate-watch the party says “from when you were FOUR” … we’re about to get a Slylock Fox-level resolution, because Ted’s age was labelled on the painting, aren’t we?
I do admire Dick Tracy’s commitment to square-jawed aggression even when the dialogue he is delivering is “You and I, we fucked this up like nobody ever fucked anything up before.”
@TheDiva: Is Crankshaft watching a broadcast from a strange hidden civilization, like in Lizard Music?
No, it’s just a broadcast from 1982. TV commercials for saltines, and one for pain medicine where a man in a suit talks to the camera, are extremely dated. Batiuk must be cleaning out the very bottom of his old joke drawer this week.
Dick Tracy: I do like how bored and ambivalent Dick and Diet are about this deranged situation. They’ve already been through so much crazy shit – moon people, rats eating people, etc. – that common criminals somehow getting a time portal and escaping through it is just kinda meh.
Frazz: “I will destroy you,” Mrs. Olsen tells Frazz, thereby cementing her position as the strip’s most relatable character.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
Nah, it must be that Ed Crankshaft is watching Channel One, and they’re airing John Darling reruns again… with the original commercials, apparently.
(I wonder if the reruns are motivated from the current newsanchor being disciplined from having answered the phone live on air, and being suspended
/firedor something)Oh Dick & Diet.
Don’t you remember the old axiom: it’s not the crime, it’s the coverup that gets you?
(Just ask Dick Nixon).
Now, you’ve involved two rookie cops and the local newspaper.
@pugfuggly: God, let’s hope not, even though he’d probably be happy to take the credit for it. (I say this with admiration, not criticism.)
@Banana Jr. 6000: CS: It could be a 1982 episode of The Price Is Right. Imagine this ad copy being read in Johnny Olson’s voice as he describes the items in the Grocery Game, and it works. Still not funny, though.
Luann: What Bernice needs is a Grand Tour of Europe. She’ll find that the “real her” is a Florentine contessa from the 16th century.
MW: Mary can’t wait to get to New York so she and Olive can re-align each others’ chakras.
@Anonymous #80: @Tom T.: Both good explanations.
SFx: Just the art lesson I’ve been waiting for! My new series of Max Mouse Tijuana Bibles begins publication in early 2026.
DT: The Icaruses travel back to 1916, convince the captain of the Lusitania to turn the boat around, America never enters the Great War, and Germany ends up winning. Adolf Hitler gets a job as a tobacconist’s assistant in Freiburg, the National Socialist movement dies a-borning, and the Kaiser forces everyone in the world to become either a metaphysician or a classical musician, ushering in a Golden Age for all humanity.
Hope you like sauerkraut and bauernwurst, because it’s on the dinner menu. Every night.
SFx: Just the art lesson I’ve been waiting for! My new series of Max Mouse Tijuana Bibles begins publication in early 2026.
DT: The Icaruses travel back to 1916, convince the captain of the Lusitania to turn the boat around, America never enters the Great War, and Germany ends up winning. Adolf Hitler gets a job as a tobacconist’s assistant in Freiburg, the Nazi movement dies a-borning, and the Kaiser forces everyone in the world to become either a metaphysician or a classical musician, ushering in a Golden Age for all humanity.
Hope you like sauerkraut and bauernwurst, because it’s on the dinner menu. Every night.
DT: C’mon DT – look up some old newspapers or crime plotters and see if there are any weird events – like two people fused partially dropping into some alleyway.
Phantom: The warlord is bluffing. Human Relations is nothing but a hollow threat – the real danger is school management.
RMMD: So this is all still in the same day as the bench sitting – at this pace, we’ll get the DNA results after 2 months of strips.
Literary: I read an amusing novel by the prolific Max Allan Collins, loosely based on the feud between Al Capp and Ham Fisher. Title is Strip for Murder, and the protagonists become Hal Rapp and Sam Fizer. The detective is Jack Starr, who mainly works for his family comics syndicate and his staggeringly beautiful stepmom, Maggie. Many other comics luminaries and celebs are portrayed under flimsy aliases. See if you can pick ’em all up! A lightning fast read, it’s available as an ebook. There are two more in the comics-related series, A Killing in Comics, and Seduction of the Innocent.
Non-fiction Al Capp story: A young woman photographer was sent over to Al’s apartment to do a photo shoot on him. As soon as she got in the door, he started getting grabby, and she ran out, leaving her gear. She went back to her apartment and told her boyfriend, noted hothead author Harlan Ellison. Uh-oh! Ellison went directly to Capp’s apartment and kicked his ass, gathered up her gear, and went home. Of course, that probably wasn’t a strain, since Capp had only the one leg, plus a wooden one he never learned to use very well. Come to think of it, she probably could have put him on the floor pretty quick, if she’d tried.
Arlo and Janis — Is Arlo going to get some?
GT — Is Rod going to get some?
@pugfuggly: #22:
“a penis riding a chariot”
To me it looks more like a complete set of male genitalia (frank and beans) attempting to lift an extremely large barbell.
DT: Oh, my goodness, there was so much nonsense going on in Sunday’s strip that I completely missed that the reason Dick failed to save Icarus was that his wrist radio was reacting to the time anomaly by firing little blue lightning bolts into his arm! The reason we don’t give Dick more time travel stories is because they make less sense than the last two Doctor Who season finales combined.
HtH: I realise this is a one-off joke (for certain values of “joke”), but I’d actually love to see a storyline where we learn all about Fortunate Freddy, a bold warrior whose Viking band all praise his cooking and who never strikes out with women except that time he was dumped by a selkie.
JP: I was going to go onto a deep dive into what the deal was with “the drive with the routing numbers” — which I vaguely recall may have been the McGuffin in the last CIApril story — and more to the point what actually happened to it, since if it’s what I’m thinking of, I thought the CIA ended up with it and used it to take down the Russian mobster … somehow. But then I was struck with a sudden case of not actually caring.
MW: Uh, guys, I just had a thought. Remember when there was a week setting up Dawn visiting her mom, and we all thought “Well, that sounds like something that could lead to juicy drama” and instead we had the unpleasant experience of Wilbur imagining himself as a superhero, “rescuing” the woman who rejected him from the guy she chose instead? And then they set up Wilbur going to Florida and we all thought “Can’t believe we’re getting more freakin’ Wilbur but the change of scenery might be nice” and instead we got Dawn dripping her way through a relationship with the world’s least subtle negger? What I’m saying is, don’t be surprised if next week starts with Mary setting off to New York, saying goodbye to the Westons, and the camera doesn’t follow her. In fact, don’t be surprised if she never comes back and the strip title is suddenly mary worth and WILBUR.
@White Rabbit: Capp may have had a wooden leg, but Ellison was freakishly short. Capp SHOULD have been able to battle him to a draw. Maybe remove the leg and hit him with it.
GT: I don’t believe that none of the Milford boys have hit on Wheelchair Girl yet. They should have realized it’s really difficult for her to run away.
According to Gyles Brandreth, Al Capp had a reputation as a wonderful lover, since all the blood that would have normally gone to his missing leg had to go somewhere else.
@Ukulele Ike: Ellison was 5’3″, short but I wouldn’t call it freakishly so, and I’m 6’2″, make of it what you will. He had an aggressive attitude, and Capp probably didn’t expect to be violently assaulted without any preamble, so that’s half the battle right there. Now Robert Reich is 4’11”, and I would call that freakish.
@White Rabbit: Hyperbole on my part; if you’re going to make fun of short people, go with the adverb. Harlan was special fun as a target of mockery. He was REALLY RESENTFUL about his height, yet may have expected taller guys wouldn’t punch back for fear of passersby assuming they were bullying Tom Thumb, there.
I had a college squeeze who was 4’11” — she WAS freakishly short (I’m six foot even). We broke up after I developed a fetish for tall women.