Can they do telegraphy? I’d like to see the variant they’d do with telegraphy
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Herb and Jamaal, 8/5/25
“I guess this would be considered illegal…”
Hmm, what’s he reading about? Sounds juicy
“…if they didn’t call it a law.”
Ah, I get it, we’re doing a “none dare call it treason” bit. Bold!
“Every law is made for a reason…”
Yes, Herb, yes, it’s time to speak truth to power
“…even when it penalizes those to whom the law would never apply.”
I … uh … um … ????????
Wizard of Id, 8/5/25
Hey guys! Remember back in March, when Wizard of Id compared blocking somebody’s number to shooting a bird, with a gun, from the tower of a castle? Well, here’s today’s Wizard of Id, which compares blocking a spam e-mail to shooting a bird, with a magical power bolt, from the tower of a castle. Honestly excited to see what other important form of communication is going to get this treatment five months from now.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/5/25
Have you ever walked away from a concert disappointed by the energy level of the band, feeling like the musicians were kind of phoning it in and weren’t fully present for the performance? Well, have you considered that maybe they had spent their whole lives thinking one guy they had never met was their dad, but then they did a DNA test and found out a different guy they never met was their dad and that guy was dead, and now they’ve sent messages to their newly discovered half-siblings on Facebook but never heard back, and it’s eating them up inside? Bet you hadn’t thought of that, huh? Bet you’re just a rude and inconsiderate person. It’s all about what you want.
46 replies to “Can they do telegraphy? I’d like to see the variant they’d do with telegraphy”
RMMD:
“…which would leave things on a sour note. So to speak.”
With newspapers dying, Herb and Jamaal makes a desperate decision to try and appeal to the libertarian newsletter audience
“I sure do love being Stephen Bently, writer and artist of nationally syndicated cartoon ‘Herb and Jamaal’, but sometimes all the work gets me down… *sigh* I wish I could go get dinner already… But wait… What’s this? A pile of rigidly translated comic strips from the Soviet Bloc? Eureka!”
Wizard of Id:
“Ah, well. As the great old song goes, ‘To everything/Tern, tern, tern….’ “
Crankshaft : will then see a room labelled “Douches” and be all “OH WOW A ROOM EXPRESSEDLY FOR ME!”
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Herb & Jamaal : …maybe what this strip is TRYING to go for is the “There are laws that bind people without protecting them, while protecting others without binding them” thing, but accidentally said “there are laws that bind people without binding them”, which makes less sense IMHO?
**********
Rex Morgan M.D. : Josh, have you considered the possibility that even when distracted by his own issues, Cody is actually the most talented and skilled musician in that band? Like, the reason Cody is a journeyman guitarist who wanders endlessly between failed band after failed band is that he’s REALLY GOOD, but all the bands that require his services are really awful?
**********
Wizard of Id : “No pigeons were harmed, just sent to the king’s chamber… where they WERE harmed because the king just shoots them with a crossbow.”
RMMD:
“You know, I wrote them and poured out my heart, and so I’m really hoping for some sort of feedback.”
SCREEEEEEEEEEECH
“No, no. Not that kind.”
WoI — One explanation of this peculiar approach to modeling computer systems using a medieval context would be that the Id-world is a kind of proto-Matrix. If memory serves, didn’t the strip feature a Neo-like character who would proclaim “The King is a fink!”, angering the authorities while always avoiding capture?
RMMD — Has the name of Cory’s band been previously mentioned? If not, I suggest, “Not Son of Truck” or “Spawn of Spuds.”
In a radical piece of anti-AI direct action, today’s Herb and Jamaal consists of weaponised logical paradoxes. Any robot that tries to make sense of this strip will explode instantly.
In re Josh’s comment about the Wizard of Id, future strips: Mary Worth deflects a Nigerian romance scammer with a carefully aimed rock-hard muffin. Dagwood runs for his car pool, colliding with the guy trying to sell them solar panels.
WoI: Parker and Hart send a subtle message to the hate tweeters: Don’t bother.
MW: “I’m in the mood for STEAK, and I know JUST the place for us!”
Another restaurant scene is about to play out in the New York equivalent of The Bum Boat. Olive is after a steak, but I hope Mary can find some SALMON on the menu.
RMMD: Oh, for crying out loud! Write a mournful ballad and move on!
SF: I thought Ted’s tedious daddy issues were behind us. Silly me.
GT – I am so hopelessly lost here, I am not sure who these kids are. But the lighter skinned kid looks like he’s about to deep-throat that hot dog. Clearly, he’s over Keri.
H&J – If that’s the law, then the law is a ass. BtW, if that’s the blue plate special, then the blue plate special is a ass….
WoI – All that there Artie Fishing and tell the gents guy ever thinks about is computer stuff….
RMMD – Fatherless children have a very hard time; All that weeping, all that crying….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
DT: ? Any regular police work – canvassing for witness, nearby close circuit TV, missing folders (hmmm, all of the files are here except the “K”s)
GT: Now we finally see the strength of the new creative team – not US high school sports but a general teen/young adult social anxiety. Maybe this is the moment GT starts slowly changing. The “offseason” starts to last 9-10 months and the sports become just single frames showing the passage of time (baseball = spring, football=fall, basketball = winter)
RMMD: The would-be siblings are interacting and mulling over the situation and checking Cody out. Patience – please let there be some wonderful snag like a fight over royalty rights – turns out Spuds was the session drummer on some hit album and so there has been a steady stream of income over the years to his heirs.
JP: Sam, did you mistakenly take your crazy pills? Go back and take your calm blue mood pills! Meanwhile the two girls are behaving like characters out of a slasher movie – not thinking – why is Aksel still here? Doesnt he have a job to get back to? Why did he follow us here? Was he just a exposition tool or is he actually the killer! Don’t go into the basement!
Phantom: It must be hard to keep track of who to skull mark and who to let pass.
“Spam Blocker?” Didn’t he play Hoss on “Gunsmoke?”
MW: No surprise that Olive’s parents are taking advantage of the free babysitting. If anything, the real story is Brigman’s obvious use of copy-paste.
H&J: Herb goes full Jailhouse lawyer when he gets a fix or desist notice from the board of health.
Jamal thinks; “Just shut up and clean the damn grease hood.”
Coming soon to Gil Thorp; Heathers 2: Let’s Kill Keri.
@Little Blue Bicycle: I’m there for it.
Cody’s band is playing the classic Talking Heads song:
Rex Morgan
Rex Morgan is a strip
A strip where nothing
Nothing ever happens
Finally a
ShitcrankCrankshaft I can snark on knowledgeably!I’m in Canada RIGHT NOW. The only province that is truly bilingual is Quebec, and even then it’s really only bilingual in Montreal (and to a lesser extent in Quebec City). The rest of the province is primarily French speaking.
Not so in Manitoba, where less than 3% of the population speaks French. I did a little research and the odds that the bathroom signs are in French at their stadium are very low.
Also too, “toilette” isn’t exactly one of those French words that are difficult to translate into English—“fenêtre,” for example. I know our man here has trouble reading, but he should be familiar enough with the word “toilet” because no one calls it the restroom at home.
Also too as well, normal people—no matter their age—ASK where the bathroom is if they can’t find it.
I’m sure this will lead to “wacky” “hijinks” that wind up with the Crankster on the gridiron. Maybe they’ll use his head as the football.
Also too as well in addition, TIL that Canada kind of invented what we now know as football? Tabernac!
Herb and Jamaal:
“Hey Jamaal, are there any laws left on the books about who you can love?”
“I told you to leave those kids alone, Herb.”
“‘Cause I love you, Jamaal.”
“That’s nice.”
“No, man, I really love you.”
“Get back to work, Herb.”
Also Herb and Jamaal: For a second, I mistook the leg of Herb’s seat as some kind of mobile mechanical base, as though Herb were an old-school Robbie the Robot or something. This is no less funny than the actual joke of the strip, and in that it would explain why he’s constantly spouting gibberish, make marginally more sense. Computer: update head canon!
Rex Morgan, M.D.: Say what you will about Cody’s band, but they managed to get the reanimated corpse of Lou Reed to play keyboards, bringing…well, about the same level of energy to the stage, actually.
@Little Blue Bicycle: Ohmygosh, they killed Keri!
You bastards!
“ever walked away from a concert disappointed by the energy level of the band, feeling like the musicians were kind of phoning it in and weren’t fully present for the performance?”
Several times, but most notably, Procol Harum opening for YES, around 2009. Man, that band did NOT want to be there and were CLEARLY going through the motions for a paycheck. Gary Brooker said not one single word to the audience (neither did anyone else in the band) and they appeared downright pissed off at having to play for their pay. I get it, they were old, but I’ve seen lots of old bands play very enthusiastically including YES themselves that night.
H&J: I’ll bet Jamaal is really, really glad that Herb doesn’t say this shit out loud.
FC: Jeffy tells Billy to watch for splashback when he uses the new outhouse.
RMMD-Cody just needs to move on with his life.
MW-“I’m in the mood for surf and turf, Mary, followed by a boat ride around Manhattan.”
Six Chix-Remain? You need to start being silly.
MW: Man I could have used Olive’s vague psychic-ness on Sunday night and had her invite me not to eat whatever the hell it was that gave me food poisoning, that’s the TRUTH.
Also why does an adolescent know “just the place” for anything, really, let alone a good steakhouse?
MW: The last person I would expect to crave a flame-broiled steak is a girl who would be accused of witchcraft.
I hope Olive brought her parents’ debit card to pay for this steak because we know Mary has never paid for even one meal at the Bum Boat. Or do I “predict” another disappearing credit card the same way Wilbur extorted a free meal in his getup that made Bob Newhart look like James Bond?
“We’re surrounded, Sir Rodney! Vikings on every side. Berserkers, war chiefs, jarls, they’re breaking through! We’ll all be killed!!”
“Don’t worry, men, we got a pigeon out to the wizard. He’ll be here in a flash with his mighty magicks and these dirty Norsemen won’t know what hit them! Just hold the line!!”
JP: Later….
“Well, April, now that I have you and your family together, I shall exact my revenge…”
“DC! DC! SHE’S IN DC!”
“Someone gag him, knock him out, and put him in a soundproof room.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but we already did that, and he’s in there….”
@brendancalling: Well said. The MB level of bilingualism is in the offer of government services, official signs (like roads), etc. And it would be *bilingual* not francophone, so at most “TOILET/TES”. Plus we *do* use the international symbols for restrooms, so that would be on the sign and/or the wall by the door.
BTW, family who have been to games at the stadium are sure there is no such “TOILETTES” sign.
I wouldn’t get in touch with an unknown half-brother who plays the guitar with a full death grip on the neck if I were Cody’s half-sibling either.
***
There are laws specifically written to penalize certain sections of society or to barely be worth considering for others. No middle manager is ever going to be written up for loitering, for example. A fine for jaywalking would hit a fast food worker much differently than it would a doctor, and a CEO could use twice as much as that in cash without even blinking. There is even a pithy saying regarding a certain political leaning, “There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.”
But holy heck, Herb, that jumble of words you’re spewing makes no sense at all.
@brendancalling: My money was going to be on Cranky wanders around the stadium for the rest of the week and never actually sees the game at all (while Jeff is too oblivious to notice he never came back), but I like your idea better.
@Needless Exposition: *Precisely* ‘Steak? Olive dear, I flew RyanAir coach from LA to NY, and I’m staying on your parent’s couch instead of paying for a hotel. You seriously think I’m buying you STEAK for dinner? Let’s go to that hot dog cart run by that swarthy-looking gentleman over there. I bet his cuisine will have that SPLAK! taste of home I’ve been craving!’
SF: It’s funny because everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) in this strip is an insufferable moron!
Luann: Speaking of insufferable morons, did the Evansii originally mean for Bernice to get Phil as a boyfriend? ‘Let me amatuerishly psychoanalyze you because I’m gonna be a psychiatricologisty when I grow up!’ is supposed to be her shtick!
JP: There’s denial of reality, there’s psychotic break, and then there’s Randy.”
S4th: Okay, I’m going to say Bettina took the original picture, copied it exactly, and replaced it with her own, hid it, and then the hilarity ensued.
Curtis: Somehow, Doe-Eyed Niece is going to deny this is Grammy-Pearl’s dog. Only because a) Grammy-Pearl never had a dog. b) Grammy-Pearl’s dog died years ago, c) there’s no such thing as dogs, silly boy. See? All those Instagram accounts showing ‘dogs’ are just static pictures.
yFLASH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!: Flash unleashes the cosmic power of the Karen.
@The Quiet Man: “You think Mary Worth should stay at a Holiday Inn rather than a downtown Manhattan penthouse apartment that’s bankrupting the owners? Olive, send them to the cornfield.”
@brendancalling: Manitoba’s constitution states that all laws must be published in both English and French. However, for various reasons, the Manitoba government started publishing them only in English in 1890. This led to the hilarious 1985 Supreme Court decision which found that all of Manitoba’s laws published since 1890 were technically null and void. (Although the Court decided to suspend it’s declaration of invalidity for several years to give Manitoba time to translate its laws).
RMMD: I’m a self-taught southpaw. If I saw a guitarist hold the fretboard like that I’d consider it cool that any music came out at all.
H&L takes what could be a decent gag and ruins it because nobody could draw a historical marker that doesn’t look like a church billboard.
MW: “My parents approve of the two of us eating out tonight” is usually said by someone with a chaperone or a curfew. This is not going to stop the talk going around.
GT: The “Yes, Chef” hat is a hoot. And I say that having really enjoyed Lenny Henry’s “Chef!”
Pluggers would play Mousetrap if it didn’t give some of their friends PTSD.
FC: Jeffy is amazed to find a cellar which doesn’t have vermin, mold, and radon in it.
Zits: I like this arc. Better than the overdone “young woman anxious about her appearance compared to incredibly prepped and airbrushed photos of stars and models”.
@The Quiet Man: CS Didn’t they already do ‘Crankshaft on the field” at another football games years ago? Not that that would have to stop them, but I figured Cranky wanders off, gets lost, and Jeff misses crucial plays looking for him, ultimately ruining his game experience.
But either way, Stupid Hijinks are about to ensue.
If Crank is looking for his way back, asks for help and isn’t understood because he’s speakingEnglish I am going to be pulling my hair out. Even the 3% francophones know English in MB, this isn’t rural Quebec (and even rural Quebec isn’t what it used to be!).
MW; That’s daddy’s little girl! “C’mon Mary let’s get us a couple of vodka martinis and rare filet mignons.”
@Guts Dozier: Oh! oh! I know this part (there was a great editorial cartoon at the time about it with a brawl on the Plains of Abraham and an onlooker saying “… it all started with an English-only parking ticket in Manitoba”)
Yeah, parking ticket challenge led to the high court giving a deadline to get all the MB laws *legally* translated and on the books in both languages, else voided. My dad, a bilingual lawyer, got a good government job on that team. They had to borrow Quebec lawyers to do it, too, and it was fun to see Montrealers confronting their first “-40 is a thing” Winnipeg winters.
And the provincial bilingualism came from having substantially more French in the past mix of people due to the fur trade (and the whole métis nation, Riel rebellion, and all that).
“Cody’s on the road while he waits for a response from his half siblings. He probably should have set up his stage in an arena instead of in the middle of I-30 during rush hour, but he didn’t quite understand what ‘being on the road’ meant. It’s only a question of whether the commuters or the cops get him first now.”