Egyptomania
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Mary Worth, 8/31/25
Yes, Olive, you “saw” that she was struggling in the water, with your “eyes,” as she was immediately in “front” of you as you stood on the beach just a few “yards” away from her. Note also that Olive is implying heavily that she had pity on Vicki, the least bad of the bully gang. If it had been Naomi, that girl would be smugly rolling her eyes on the ocean floor right now. You notice they’re quoting John 15:13 and not Matthew 5:44!
Heathcliff, 8/31/25
Much as I enjoy seeing Surf Mummy in action, I must be a pedant here and object to the way he apparently sinks into the earth. If he were the disembodied spirit of a dead Egyptian prince, then I would accept this depiction of his return to the Duat, the land of the dead. However, as a physical mummy, he should instead be shown returning to his sarcophagus, whether that’s inside a pyramid or in some rock-cut tomb in the Nile Valley, then drawing the lid closed behind him.
84 replies to “Egyptomania”
And indeed, YET ANOTHER conversation about Olive “saving” Vicki, which has now be had in three places. W
RMMD-“Jonah had a heart attack before he could tell me the location of the gold.”
MW-“I ‘saw’…” Yeah anybody with eyes could have seen Vicki struggling.
FC-“Is Labor Day the day you gave birth to us all?”
…where in NYC can they go next and have this same talk? Empire State Building? Sardi’s???
Man, the touchscreen is acting weird this morning.
MW:
By the way, if this kid’s so prescient, why didn’t she foresee, and thus avoid, the near-accident years ago that appears to have launched this continuing story arc?
MW:
“When I’m older, Mary, I want to establish my very own neighborhood satellite library and invite everyone in the nearby community to partake of its resources,”
“That’s very noble of you. What has motivated you to want to pursue that idea?”
“I want to extend everyone the ‘Olive‘ branch!”
RMMD: “Yeah, I probably should’ve had it on speakerphone so I could continue CPR while I’m talking to you, but the artist really wanted to show off how well they can draw someone holding a cellphone! That’s pretty rare here in the comics!”
MW: Has anyone else noticed that the titular character of this strip doesn’t seem to do anything anymore? In the old days it would have been Mary’s advice that would have inspired Olive to risk her life, but now Mary is just kinda there to summarize what already happened later on. Did Mary die? Is this a Sixth Sense thing? Maybe Olive can finally shepherd her into the afterlife and we can finally complete the transition to a Wilbur-centric strip.
Heathcliff: Huh, I just assumed that Surfin’ Mummy just stepped into the ocean and slowly dissolved into papyrus mush. Kind of a dramatic end to the summer but at least he went out doing what he liked.
Heathcliff / Mary Worth: Surf Mummy is actively avoiding his sarcophagus — he heard that a psychic girl who’s really into “saving” folks who enjoy the ocean, but actually ends up making the situation worse and putting them in greater danger than if she never interfered, is currently visiting the Temple of Dendur at the Museum of Modern Art. “I sense a disturbance over here!” she’ll say as she slides the cover off a 2,000-year-old casket, then accidentally drops it and destroys it forever. “Eh, it’s the thought that counts,” Mary will add as they flee from the scene.
Perhaps Surf Mummy simply travels long distances a la Bugs Bunny. Now his only concern is which turn he takes at Albuquerque.
MW: “…and we plan to hang out together soon.”
“How soon?”
“IDK, she said something about ‘losing the anchor’, whatever that means.”
MW:
“Now, Olive, do you have any questions for me, now that you’ve experienced all that the Met has to offer?”
“I sure do. First of all, why is that Gertrude Stein lady apparently such a sourpuss?
“Why didn’t that lady that Monsieur Courbet painted dress up a little bit before engaging with her parrot?
“How come that young woman that Vermeer drew looks like Frankie Munoz from ‘Malcolm in the Middle’?
“Are those toxic algae underneath Monsieur Monet’s bridge?
“Why would Socrates drink that stuff when it was no good for him in the first place?
“And how was General Washington able to fit all those guys in one boat?”
Heathcliff: Mummies are made by allowing the desert heat, mineral salts and various oils to dry out a dead body and therefore preserve its structure as a desiccated bulk. I don’t know what would happen if you got a mummy wet again – say, by surfing with it in a huge rolling wave – but I’m pretty sure the answer would be gross beyond words.
Mary Worth Mashups: Which reaction shot do you prefer?
DT: “You better return that red Swingline stapler. Milton really wants that stapler back”
Heathcliff: Am I the only one who thought that the mummy turned into the Seagull?
I mean, yeah it’s insane, but then again I’ve seen weirder with this comic.
LUANN: Right, school is no place for dogs. However, Bernice better take Monstro as that is just where an isolated fish needs to be.
RMMD: Cody shrugs his shoulders. “What the hell, man!?” Says the EMT as he pulls off the landscapers tarp Cody put over the body.
@Hibbleton:
“Oh, God!” Shouts the EMT. “You’ve killed the Brawny Paper Towel Guy!”
RMMD:
“Listen, Lorna. I’ve got some bad news…Our brother is headed to the hospital…His life is in Dr Morgan’s hands now.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
HEATHCLIFF: The last time I hung out with a mummy in board shorts, it turned out I was hitting the catnip too hard.
RMMD: “Hi, Lorna, it’s Cody. Despite you distinctly telling me not to, I forced my presence on Jonah, and he got so mad his heart stopped. So, are there any other family members who don’t want to meet me?”
BF: Face it, girls…Eloise from Undergrad is a winner at life. Not like you two with your knockoff handbags and nylon tops and crummy motorcars. Eloise from Undergrad is enjoying the financial success you could never hope to achieve.
Also, her new trophy husband with the washboard abs gives her volcanic orgasms every time.
@12 Schroduck: You mean the wet mummy would look something like this?
Judge Parker: Is it only me or is Female Wilbur Weston a bit too disconcerting to be portrayed on the comics page?
Gasoline Alley is doing its best to make me want to bookmark Archie.
Lockhorns: Leroy wants to make his marriage the happiest one in town by dragging everyone else’s down below the Lockhorns’ level.
Blondie: It’s technically a different haircut but no odder than his usual.
Crankshaft: Meet Enormous Midwest’s newest Senatorial candidate for 2036!
BG&SS: John Rose has yet to consult with an urbane suburbanite like me (honest) who knows that square dancing isn’t ballroom dancing and isn’t done for prizes. The “best square” has eight people all doing the same thing, so be prepared to battle for the sum of $5 a couple..
MW: “We’re okay, and we plan to hang out soon. After my vacation with you in California, and your subsequent trial for violating the Mann Act.”
FC: No children crying or bleeding, no dog barking? You call this “ruining your quiet weekend”?
H&L:
Lois: “What are you two doing?”
Dot & Ditto: “We were going to make a video about what we did this summer, but after seeing Dad’s special videos, we’re packing our bags for when Child Protective Services arrives.”
@A Grave Mind: That’s for readers who only take the Sunday paper, who have missed all the Olive hagiography. To recap: July 20, Mary on the plane; July 27, air-conditioner falls; August 3, angry dog; August 10, ice-cream sundaes; August 17, Vicki and Olive in the water; August 24, hospital visit; August 31, museum. Gee, the first time Sunday-only readers even saw the girls was in the hospital, and today’s the first mention of bullying.
MW: Shouldn’t Olive be in school or did she get the whole year off for “saving” her classmate because she’s just so much more special and unique than everyone else? Forget Dawn Weston being a perpetual college student; Olive will one up her too and never leave high school.
@BigTed: Say, buddy, that’s the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Go back to Santa Royale, ya rube!
In the absence of JUNGLE JIM!, have yourself a VINTAGE B.C.
BLONDIE: Great set up.
CS: Reporter picked up on discrepancy before I did! Good for him! But yeah, if the team lost last night a pep talk might have been needed to get them to come to practice this morning.
BETTY: So many grown men want a mommy. Really!
JP: Such compassion! Great recruitment ad for CIA or X.
JUMP START: Darrin, you’ll find that positive people get things done. Negative people are defeated before they begin.
RMMD: yeah, “Bad news, Lorna, I just gave our brother a heart attack.”
@A Grave Mind:
#18. RMMD: thanks, literal Lol!
As usual, after nine panels of insanity Heathcliff concludes with a Kitty Korner where someone uses a lot of words to say that their cat is a cat and has a name. And that’s fantastic! Cats rock!
Is Olive’s problem that no-one ever explained “senses” to her, and she thinks they’re all psychic abilities? “Oh, Mary, put a sweater on, I was outside and had a psychic revelation that it’s cool today — the eerie forces raised goosebumps on my arms!” “Oh, Mary, step to one side, I have a psychic premonition there’s a bicycle behind us — it came to me like the ringing of a small bell!”
@Baja Gaijin:
You’re such a genius, Baja, that I’m afraid to click on “something like this.”
R/ O: “Passing the Peace” on Sunday morning.
MW: Josh, congrats both on calling it out AND making me look up both verses. My pastor thanks you too.
MARY WORTH: Mary: “I mean, if some snotty bitch dared to try to bully me, I’d not only would not risk my life to save her from drowning, but I’d probably go and keep her head submerged faster then you can say ‘Aldo Kelrast.’ But you do you, dearie.”
MW: Olive asks, “How come?” when she knows the answer, but she’s such a kindred spirit with Mary, she needs to hear again and again and again how wonderful she is. Anyway, Olive’s narcissism will definitely weigh more than a feather.
Heathcliff: I’m more interested in the Kitty Korner about the cat who gets really nasty when prosecuting civil cases.
@ValdVin:
I’m thinking it’s probably traditional buck dancing.
Dulce et decorum est pro Mari? mori
@Ettorre: Mari? stupid unicode
@Ettorre: it’s supposed to be the long A
@Baja Gaijin:
#22 Baja, I try not to be delicate, but even I would have to clean off those uggs before wearing them.
FC: The San Fransisco trip is over, so it is time to RELAX! You know it’s done because Jeffy has put away his pennant.
Dustin: “I have become Quality Control, Devourer of Cookies.”
FRAZZ: Not that anyone asked, but unlike Mrs. Olson I won my race yesterday only in the sense I finished it. Came in 5th of 8 in the Plugger age category. Hurting this morning. But next time I’ll do better (see my comment on Jump Start)
Heathcliff: I thought the mummy shrunk down and turned into the bird.
@taig: She’s not hanging out with her “new friends” because they don’t stroke her ego enough the way that Mary does. And Mary should go to jail.
JP: “Mr. Parker, the CIA is going to come down on your wife like a dusky-skinned immigrant.”
Phantom: “The Spooky Mystery of the Phantom Flying Fortress in Africa.” The Twilight Zone episode Rod Serling wishes he never made.
Luann: I’d be impressed Puddles outsmarted someone, but this is Luann we’re talking about here.
CS: The pep talk was about how they’re in a Batiuk comic, so they’ll have to learn to suffer until blessed cancer takes them away.
@Baja Gaijin: I like options 1 and 3.
That other thing is gross beyond words.
RMMD-“You want me to do what? I only just met the guy. Besides I don’t think the world is ready yet for half-brother on half-brother porn.”
SlyF-Windows up, Windows down, all Rosa knows is that Princess Pussycat is getting the bill for this because she’s tired of being stiffed by low grade government officials.
Blondie – The barber and Dagwood both thought this would be humiliating, but something far worse has happened: Blondie loves it and wants Dagwood to keep the new ‘do.
MW: I’m reading Olive’s word balloon, but I’m “seeing” Apartment 3-G’s Margo doing her iconic air quotes.
Fortunately, Luann had “Try not to get TOO smart” tattooed on her inner forearm. Every day since? Success!
@Baja Gaijin: Number Two. Always enjoy a callback to when it was fun to read Mark Trail.
“Taste the FIST OF JUSTICE, liberal Hollywood bacchant!!!”
FC: Thel thinks back to when hanging out braless in the yard with Bil could be fun.
The “Olive and Mary go to the beach” story would have been a lot more fun, and a much more intriguing display of preternatural powers, if Olive had summoned up a sunglasses-wearing mummy to be her super-cool surfing friend rather than jumping straight into a riptide and endangering herself and others at the behest of “psychic” visions. As is, she and Mary can only go to the Met and imagine the lives of ancient Egyptians rather than physically manifesting Egyptian individuals to share their experiences. Olive’s got nothing on Heathcliff.
Also, if the bird in the last panel of Heathcliff is supposed to be the mummy’s ba, this is a pretty radical revision of the “Man’s Conversation with his Ba” that I read in grad school.
The mummy would be powdered and consumed by Victorian age rich people back in the day. LMAO
MT: I suppose having Mark punching those disease-ridden mice to kingdom come would have been a bit much.
MW: “I’m glad that the lifeguard rescued you both and that you and Vicki are all right now! Because, you know, if he had rescued only one of you then it would have shown just how misguided it was of you to make him have to rescue two girls at once!”
Heath: Personally, I would pay good money for a road trip movie featuring Heathcliff, Surfer Mummy, and Garbage Ape.
MW: Eh, I’m just glad we’re spared (at least for the Sunday strip) Olive’s reincarnation fantasies. If we’re going to have any past life regression with this character I want to be like in Ragtime, where J.P. Morgan becomes convinced he’d been a mighty pharaoh in a past life, rents out a pyramid so he can sleep in it and get in touch with his former self, only to dream that he was a mere peddler of no consequence to anyone.
A cat born with hair? That’s disgusting! FUR is not hair. Fur is way nicer.
Don Abundio, translated:
“That sounds like one of those old steam train whistles!”
“It’s some rich guy who drives a steam-powered car…”
“Just so he can be a bigger asshole”
Boy, the smug expression on that Olive in the third panel — clearly attempting to look modest, and failing miserably. If that’s the way she comports herself, no wonder she gets bullied. Hell, I’d bully her myself.
@Rita Lake: “….never, for any reason, must you brew more than *nine* tana leaves at one time. Should Kharis obtain a large amount of the fluid, he would become an uncontrollable monster, a soulless demon with the desire to kill and kill.” — The Mummy’s Hand, 1940
Don’t mess this up, Olive, or Kharis’ll rip the shit outta ya.
@Twinkles the Elf: As someone who was constantly bullied and is against bullying…I would bully the hell out of Olive. Her self centered “I’m so special and unique and better than everyone else” attitude is prime victim material.
DT: So Leda (no idea of this is a first or last name) dresses like the boss in Office Space, talks like a gay Hollywood agent, and marks his calendar like a teenage girl. The swan statue and the name of the company indicates that he has some commitment to theme, but he could be more consistent.
Dustin: Wait, I thought Dustin’s mom was a huge health nut who would never bake cookies unless she included gross ingredients like kale, or worse raisins?
JP: Oh please, like April is the only former government employee with shady contacts. Hell, these days that’s probably a plus on her resume.
Luann: No danger of that, Frank.
Phantom: Honestly, I’d think Diana would be used to her husband leaving like this by now. “Going to chase after a ghost Nazi plane, not back avenge death.”
RMMD: Even for Hollywood CPR, which has a success rate roughly inverse to reality, I’m calling BS on Cody’s ability to keep Jonah’s heart going until the EMTs arrived.
Mary Worth: As established yesterday, Mary has absolutely no tolerance or patience for belief systems different from her own, so she deftly moves the conversation away from reincarnation to her more usual wheelhouse of vague platitudes, delusional approaches to problem-solving, and aggressive conformity.
Heathcliff: I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that summer partying with an undead mummy sounds like some of the raddest shit ever.
Olive is starting to feel like a exaggerated caricature of a smug ego.
For example, there are stories people tell online, that are obviously made up to the point of laughable.
One woman said that she and her kid sister were at a store and two criminals burst in with guns holding the place up, the younger sister said to the criminals “Don’t do that! It’s mean!”
The criminals immediately realized the error of their evil ways and turned themselves in, and the city held a parade for the younger sister.
One person in the comments for this inane story joked “Was her sister Dora the Explorer?”
But regardless, what I’m getting at is, Olive is starting to feel like that same level of smug and unbelievability except she’s being written completely seriously on Moy’s part.
Heathcliff: Surf Mummy? I thought it was The Invisible Man!
Is Surf Mummy a regular part of Heathcliff’s summertime lore? I thought the cat was hanging out with the Invisible Man.
They both make the same amount of sense, so… that’s a major argument against both scenarios, isn’t it?
Curtis: Paris, Amsterdam???
MW: Olive has a chronic case of Main Character-itis. Whenever she senses a flagging of praise being heaped upon her, she starts up with the self-hagiography again.
“I’m proud of you, Olive.”
“How come? I mean, there are so many reasons to be proud of me; so very, very many that I’m not sure which of the many, many reasons to be proud of me you might be referring to. Please give specifics in your answer, Mary, and give lots of examples.”
Heathcliff was actually hanging out with Doom Patrol regular Negative Man.
BLONDIE: She’s smirking because that new ‘do isn’t any more outrageous than the old one.
FC: I used to wonder why the dad wore hot pants in the summer until I learned these comics were written in the ’70s. Then it made perfect sense to me.
Is it possible for the comic strip Mary Worth, to outdo Frazz in the “I’m better than everyone else and I’m going to smugly announce it, and everyone will agree with it and love me for it because its true” department?
Mary Worth: Just look at those dead eyes. Olive is obviously a robot.
@42 Activist: Yeah, “ugg” really describes it.
@44 Activist: Congratulations!
@49 taig: Of course it’s disgusting. What do you think a wet mummy would look like?
@54 Ukulele Ike: Mr. Allen created some good work.
@TLDR: Or in Futurama
Professor Farnsworth (carrying a small box) showing to the crew: I have here, an ancient mummified alien Pharoah (opens the box) he’s gone!
(Fry walks in while eating the mummy): Hey Professor, by the way, that was good jerky.
Professor Farnsworth: Damn you Fry! I was going to eat that mummy!
@Baja Gaijin: Like a desiccated corpse with wet toilet paper sticking to it. Duh.
The second panel after the title panel of Heathcliff is truly the greatest panel in all of comics history
@Hibbleton: 19- A crestfallen Dr. Morgan enters the waiting room to talk to Lorna and Cody:”I’m sorry. There was nothing we could do.” Lorna: ” You mean he’s …gone?” Rex: (sighs heavily) “I’m afraid so. It’s another case of improperly performed CPR by an untrained layman. When will they learn…when will they learn?” He turns and slowly walks away.
Heathcliff: Fidelity Davis of Columbia, Tennessee, sounds like a real corker. Tell us more about your stupid amphibious cat, Felicity!
@TheDiva:
Those three together??? Can Clint Eastwood come along? Seriously, 40 bucks a ticket
I found today’s Slylock Fox a lot more entertaining than a grown man really should. Something about a children’s brain teaser starring charming alliteratively-named animals centered around insurance fraud just gets me. I particularly like how Slylock has been forced to console a hysterical Shady Shrew despite knowing he’s full of shit.
Anyway Max and Rosa are both thinking “get a load of this guy” but with different inflections.