Wednesday quickies
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Family Circus, 9/4/25
Ha ha, look at Jeffy’s face! He knows it’s not good! But he doesn’t have the gumption to be mad about it, just sad!
Hagar the Horrible, 9/4/25
Ha ha, look at everyone’s faces in the second panel here. What awful secret are Hagar and his family concealing — and why is Snert so eager to reveal it?
Pluggers, 9/4/25
Pluggers are nightmarish animal-human chimeras, hideous and offensive to human sight. But among their own kind, in their own company, do they consider themselves to be, in their own distorted way, beautiful? Today we learn the answer: no.
58 replies to “Wednesday quickies”
Mary Worth Mashups: Which should be canon?
Hagar the Horrible: Hagar and his missy are aghast at a talking Snert because he’s not only seen but participated in their reenactments of Caligula’s, ahem, “parties.”
Pluggers: The original caption is too long; for today’s Twitter-addicted comic strip readers, the caption need be “Pluggers know they’re butt-ugly.”
Snert tells the neighbors, the Bush Clan, the secrets of the family baked bean recipe, and a fortune is lost.
Did…did Dolly beat the shit out of Jeffy? Then critcize his beaten
Wednesday quickies? Today is Thursday. Isn’t it?
I’m going back to bed until it’s Thursdsy.
…criticize his beaten appearance, abuser-style? Why hasn’t EVERYONNE done this?
Damn thing is acting squirrelly again
@Sequitur:
Josh just gave me a panic attack!
MW-Olive was one of the Jewish slaves and not one of the Exodus slaves but one of the earlier ones.
MW: No longer content to receive praise merely for her vague, arbitrary ability to foretell danger, Queen Narcissisti adds reincarnation to her catalog of unprovable “gifts.”
FC: Bil needs to adjust the spanking machine.
FC:
If only she had been drawn on a small platform with wheels, she would have been Dolly with dolly with dolly.
FC: Even worse, Jeffy has a “hearing ‘pairment.”
FC:
Jeffy’s big mistake, which resulted in Dolly’s pummeling him, was having the temerity to ask in the first instance, “What is it you’re mad about?”
FC This scenario assumes that Dolly knows what a ‘disaster area’ is, which she obviously doesn’t, she just repeats phrases like the worlds most annoying parrot. Jeffy at least has the emotional intelligence to know he’s a dummy and roll with it.
Pluggers are missing a full half of their face. When did thst happen?
FC:
“Dolly didn’t like my ‘Emmett Kelly’ getup!”
You’re a Plugger if you quietly endure your husband’s vanity even if you yourself are, literally, a spring chicken.
FC: Jeffy just came home from playing linebacker in a football game which his team won because of his stellar performance. The kid is known by his peers and coaches to be an amazingly gifted player who would likely get a beefy scholarship if he were encouraged. But as a “walking ‘saster area” he will be punished and his dreams of excelling at anything will be quashed, all because he’s not neat and tidy.
MW: Meanwhile, Evy’s slab of liver hardens on her plate as she waits for Ed to relinquish The Fork.
We’ve traveled back in time? Quick! — let’s take a look at Judge Parker! Maybe somebody will be happy there, then.
DtM: “…and since I’ve been six for 74 years, it really is vintage.”
MW: ENTER Yul Brynner and Charlton Heston.
PLUGGERS: He just now suspects that he might be a dog. The rear-end shot is to verify it. Tail = dog, no tail = a conundrum for another day.
FC: Is Dolly so enraged because she has to do the family’s laundry? If not, what’s her damned problem?
MW: What, there’s no Past Life Regression team at school? No wonder Olive is lonely. Damn those budget cuts!
RMMD: “So, we really don’t care if Jonah croaks. We’ve got YOU now, Cody!”
Hagar: That’s it? Unless this is a multi-day arc, it just ends like that?
Just kind of weird and jarring.
Welp, someone needs to wake up Josh and let him know he needs to bang on the server until the new post is up, but at least I get to see yesterday’s post that I missed, so – oh.
@Sequitur: @astroboy: I knew a four-day work week was too good to be true!
Adding, the blessing of Josh is to have an active comment board that notices lots of small details. The curse of Josh is to have an active comment board that notices lots of small details.
MW: “The shrink said an active imagination is healthy.” Probably true, except for the fact that Olive sees all the people at the table as having Jackal heads.
Do you think Merlin gets tired off people asking him to “show[them[ some magic” the way doctors get tired of people asking for free medical advice at parties? He probably keeps the “I’ll make your dog talk” bit handy for just such occasions.
Hägar the Horrible: Honi: Oh fck oh fck so embarrassing Hamlet: Gee whillikers Helga: A solidly bad idea Hagar: What’s everyone so upset about BARK BARK BARK
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: And now I have sunk to imitating Hagar the Horrible imitating a dog. What would Snert have to say about me?
JP: Gone for good? You (and we!) should be so lucky, Judgey Wudgey.
RMMD: Uh lady? Yeah, this is still Cody’s fault. Just because Jonah has anger management issues doesn’t mean Cody had to go and be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
SF: Wow, I didn’t think they could make Hilary even more insufferable, but here we are.
MW: I’d say Mommy’s had a little to much of her ‘special juice’ today, but I then again she must’ve bailed a few strips ago because I think that’s Irish seated at the table in Panel 2. Are they having Rice n’ Carrots with Hamburger gravy after their appetizer of…. sandpaper, it looks like?
What a fallen world we live in, where a plugger knows what a “good side” is, or cares.
A real Plugger would use a film camera for his vanity project, dammit. Never could figure out that digital photo frame the kids gave him for Christmas.
HtH: If you want to know the secrets a pet keeps–you actually don’t. Read Saki’s Tobermory but be warned: It does not end well.
Today’s GT will not be published in Texas or Florida.
A digital camera with displays of each snap? I thought Pluggers were still using 35mm film, and still have their 126 cameras.
FC:
“Dolly got mad when she thought that I was criticizing her artwork when I referred to ‘a manipulation of Surrealist cliches,’ but actually, I was talking about ‘Dali‘ paintings!”
Hagar doesn’t want anyone to discover why he brought back peanuts from Vinland to make peanut butter!
Making a dog talk?! Why can’t Merlin use magic for something more wholesome, like Uther Pendragon having rape by deception with Arthur’s mother? Or having Arthur sleep with his sister?
Take a day off or two. We’ll be alright
HtH: Snert desperately wants to fuck Helga’s duck Kvack, and the last thing the family wants is to hear him talk about it.
Shouldn’t Merlin be, you know… defending Britain against these vikings instead of hanging out with them?
Pluggers are only photogenic from a certain angle: the angle in which their head is turned enough that you cannot see their face, but their hips are not so turned that you can see their ass
FG: So sweet, all the trappings of fairy-tale funny pages romance, just like Taylor and Travis! Mr. Kleen even went down to the Shark Mall kiosk and got himself an ugly facial piercing, just to be more like his haddock-scented Sugar-Boo. Can’t wait to see Adrane grabbing hold of it and tearing it straight through his lip.
Hagar probably kidnapped Merlin in his native Wales, one of the biggest catchment area for the Viking slave trade in the early middle ages. Merlin is dickish, but for just cause!
MW: The blocking in panel one makes me deeply uncomfortable. Also, why is Evy blonde now?
Pluggers: Nothing wrong with being a nightmarish animal-human chimera.
Josh should use the same trick I use: If Six Chix looks like it was drawn by someone in the throes of delirium tremens, it’s Thursday.
Everyone’s panicking because they know Snert’s a dog and dogs aren’t smart and none of them want to sit there listening to him alternate between droning on about how vaccines are dangerous and demanding a snack.
***
Jeffy was the fifth person that day to say, “There’s Dolly with a dolly!” He was also the last.
Family Circus – Jeffy is coming to accept his place is the pecking order of the family. He will always be the low status individual. When he watches nature documentaries about predators picking off the weaklings, it will awaken the primordial Thanatos death drive. It will also offer some sadness, because at least the water buffalo will try to help members of the herd against the lions.
Hagar the Horrible – Comedians hate being asked to tell a joke cold or off-stage by fans. Merlin is annoyed as well with being expected to wow people with magic, but he’s learned the real trick is to threaten to expose them under the guise of a whimsical wish-fulfillment.
Pluggers – Pluggers have only barely reached the level of cognitive development to pass the mirror test of self-recognition. True vanity or a beauty industry never fully developed. Everything they do in that respect is just imitating their human forebearers.
Crank: “Luckily, it was the 1970s, and I could get all the ‘Ludes I wanted.”
HTH: “If he was trying German irregular verbs on the beast, he got everything he deserved.”
JP: “So who do they think is going to pay the little shit’s college tuition? I say she gets a job on the line at the sardine cannery.”
MW: “Well, at least we won’t have to worry about paying her college tuition. I think the local booby hatch is still free.”
FC: Josh, you’re completely misinterpreting the reason for Jeffy’s expression! He’s clearly still feeling distress from the incident that ripped his clothing and dirtied his face! Meanwhile, Dolly’s furious expression at him indicates she’s engaging in a form of victim-blaming. Or maybe she’s just enraged at his stupidity, which is understandable.
My love of Flash Gordon is hopefully well-documented, but the Shark People’s champion being a muscly bald guy who could be addressed as “Mr. Kleen” REALLY threw off the mood, here.
Pluggers: furthermore, pluggers are total butterfaces but they can really throw it back.
The sad part is, Ancient Egypt Olive didn’t have any friends, either. The Doc doesn’t own any guns, right?
Don’t like how Hagar’s daughter’s shoulder strap has slipped down. To the handful of geriatrics who still read Hagar unironically, that’s practically porn.
In the follow-up panel, we learn that Jeffy will soon be spending a year dead for tax reasons.
And nobody missed him.
FC – OMG, Jeffy’s been MAULED by a BEAR and Dolly still can’t think of anything but mispronounced put-downs. This family is more dysfunctional than I thought!
Hagar – OMG, what have these barbaric perverts been DOING to that poor dog!?
Don Abundio, translated:
“A lot of people in the office are out on strike”
“I know. I usually just ignore these malcontents until they give in”
“Really? The picket lines don’t bother you?”
“No, but…”
“This time they’re really getting in my face!”
[Signs: LOCAL 307, STRIKE, UNFAIR, STRIKE, etc.]
Hagar – And that, dear children, was the first time anyone heard “The Aristocrats” joke.
@ValdVin: Can’t believe I got beat to a Saki reference in just 33 posts. It’s possible we are TOO literate.