Absolutely not necessary to use Muffy’s name in dialogue BTW. Adds nothing
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Shoe, 10/11/25
OK, the fact that this person she dated is named “Lance” pushes this over the edge and makes me genuinely wonder if he’s supposed to be an actual knight. And before you say “Ha ha, Josh, don’t be silly, it’s clearly just an extended metaphor,” remember that these people are all birds! We’re off the map of human reason here! There could be knight birds, you don’t know.
Herb and Jamaal, 10/11/25
Mortal! Do you wish to get the merest glimpse of what it would be like for your soul to be tortured forever, in hell? Well, check out Rev. Croom’s breath, or, depending on the implications you’re getting from this strip, farts.
Blondie, 10/11/25
Yeah yeah yeah, we get it, Dagwood, you have an eating disorder
53 replies to “Absolutely not necessary to use Muffy’s name in dialogue BTW. Adds nothing”
Shoe:
“He was a pterodactyl, so the age difference was simply too much to overcome!”
Blondie; A shocked Daisy is seriously considering an intervention.
Blondie:
“I like knocking the snacks down with beer, particularly to be able to describe doing so in a way that emulates the Philadelphia Eagles’ favorite play!”
“Really, Dagwood? — what description is that?”
” ‘The Busch push’ !”
Luann: Did the Evansii hastily rewrite today’s strip in response to those of us here pointing out that Dez had made the arrangement to foster the dog without securing the agreement of her roommates?
RMMD: ‘…after all, I *am* going to get my ‘Nice Guy’ sex reward tonight. Isn’t that right, Blondie?’
JP: CUT!! Katherine, you were supposed to throw your drink in Neddy’s face for implying your home is full of %&$#, then have a knock-down, drag-out catfight! Now, let’s take it from the top!
Shoe: In the multiverse, not only do knight-birds exist. They must exist!
Shoe: “When we first started sleeping together I Camelot, but now I find myself spending every day fantasizing about every knight. I’ve even been thinking about calling this other Galahad.”
Blondie: There’s nothing like seeing two skinny guys binge-eating wings and chips. I guess switching to diet orange soda makes more of a difference than anyone thought!
Pluggers: A plugger grocery list is like a regular grocery list, except it’s tattooed on your arm. This is just like the movie Memento, except even sadder.
Herb and Jamaal:
“I’m fit to be tied — you’re criticizing the choice of seasoning I used for my omelet that spawned such a fiery sermon!”
“No. Don’t say it, Reverend.”
“Yep. I’m having an eggsistential crisis!”
SHOE: What Arthurian scholar doesn’t know that Guinevere’s nickname was “Muffy?”
9CL: Amos’s protruding tongue is the worst thing that will happen to me all day, and it’s still dark outside.
LUANN: No, this ISN’T how it works. No shelter indiscriminately hands out dogs. Actually, no respectable shelter would give these four dingbats a stuffed dog.
DtM: What is this? A tree zoo?
MW: Mary’s musing is interrupted when Olive hits the ground and predicts (causes?) a falling tree, and then an earthquake, and…
Blondie: Herb enables Dagwood’s eating disorder by not challenging his claim that a clamshell takeout container filled to the brim with unbunned hotdogs is a snack.
Shoe: I disagree. I think adding “Muffy” to the dialogue adds a lot to the characterisation. For instance, it tells us that she keeps a natural, unshaven pubic area.
H&J: Until the last panel, the “blazing” reference had me thinking this strip was going in a quite different direction. Are there weed churches where everyone just smokes big fat blunts during the service? Maybe to get a religious exemption in the states without legalisation? Let he who is without sin get stoned first.
Dagwood: I mean, at least a bowl of chips and sour cream is a reasonable snack to have with football. I’m more worried about Herb, who just seems to have about five chickens-worth of dismembered limbs in front of him. Not even any sides. When the paramedics come after his massive heart attack, they’ll take one look at the scene and check the “Suicide by takeout” box on the insurance form.
DT: True she did pull a weapon and tried to zap you. True her friend pushed Tess’s arm but curiously the zap zap ray was deflected the other way. But a good psychiatrist could argue Tess was still traumatized by the VC Leda’s assault and seeing another square jawed menacing man approach her suddenly she lost control temporarily. What is DT’s case? What is the motive? Why was Tess borrowing money from the loan shark? Gambling on Penn State football? Picking the Tigers to win the world series?
I guess this is a regular happening around the old Diet Smith Enterprises (Industries) because Faust seems to be taking this all in stride. He’s thinking “wow, I thought today woudl be just another borring day.”
RMMD: Tomorrow will be a block by block step by step recapitulation of the walk home. Please let the mystery novel be based on the guy who was choked out by the old man who gave the truck to Augie…
MW: Ok – by now Stanley must have gotten down so next week will be when something happens to Olive?
Shoe: “So, Muffy, why did you stop going out with Lance?” “I can’t be in a relationship where both our names are euphemisms for genitals.”
Daggy — “Amen, pal” says Herb, hoping to pull his buddy back from the edge of the Pit of Infinite Regress, before he announces, “And what if snacking with snacking with snacks is better” and eventually refuses to leave his TV tray, having realized it’s snacks all the way down.
On that road lies madness.
Shoe: Muffy? Lance? I think
I sawthat movie inexplicably appeared on my hotel bill once.MW: Max and Mary have exactly the same expression on their faces. Max is busy sniffing Eve’s crotch. Mere coincidence?
Big Nate – I suck at teaching ESL because I look at something like Artur’s utterance in Panel 2 and think “well that’s an interesting way to form the subjunctive mood, I wonder what the native language is?” And then I have to ask myself the even stupider question: Is Peirce actually modeling Artur’s speech on an existing language, or is he just making shit up?
@Schroduck: Blondie – Herb’s takeout looks more like a triple order of mozzarella sticks to me. Which may be nutritionally worse.
GT When I daydream about being famous / celebrated / in demand, it’s along the lines of “lucking into making peaceful contact with aliens”, which is arguably only slightly less realistic than this multiple-pro-sports-frenzy for a high school coach who can’t even win against the basic local rival team.
@nescio: Lance liked you for that. In another world he was fucking Guinevere, a name that shares the proto-Indo European root that gives us Queen, Cunt, and Gynecology and probably vagina, as per Grimm’s law.
Shoe – Muffy’s response surprised Roz so much that she went down two cup sizes.
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – I don’t even recall the circumstances of Summer and Augie Doggie Style meeting, but I’m reasonably sure he should suggest an alternative site for a nightcap if he wants to get it wet tonight.
H&J: Bad breath? Farts? In either case, this guy really enjoyed it. He gave a hearty “Amen!” each time the Rev cut one.
I have already made the joke about Dagwood having conversations where the other guy is like “Yes, Socrates,” “Absolutely, Socrates,” “To be sure, Socrates,” so let me just recommend my recipe for hemlock dip.
REX MORGAN M.D.: “Want me to traumatize you…y’know to get you in the mood?”
H&J: “Hey, Rev. I know wind is a symbol of divine power in John’s Gospel but this is the first time a metaphor has my eyes burning.”
Shoe – Roz blinks innocently. “Why did it get rusty? Was he standing out in the rain?”
Blondie – Herb knows perfectly well that the snacking is a lot more than “half” the fun of watching football for Dagwood. For one thing, he hasn’t noticed that they’re actually watching tennis.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Your cookout is a big success, Don Abundio”
“Thanks, Polonio! But I wish the bushes were closer to the grill”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have invited those ‘nudists’!”
Luann – putting aside the unlikely “dorm dog foster” thing, no it simply does not work this way. There would be meet ups and compatibility tests and all sorts of not just “random messy dog is dropped off and they have some friction before it becomes a moment of fake and unearned growth for our cast”. Christ the Evansi haven’t been out in the real world for years, have they?
Blondie – Herb is well aware of the rule of threes, and is going along knowing Dagwood will follow it and stop his inane comments about snacks and leave him in peace soon. A small price to pay for continued existence… small though it is.
MW:
“Now I wanna be your dog.”
— The Stooges
Oh, wait a minute. It’s not Sunday yet.
Pluggers have heard of this newfangled invention called “paper”, but they’re not sure if they trust it.
@MKay: 9CL: Yes, sick indeed.
@Dave: They need a list to remind themselves to get things like eggs and milk, otherwise every shopping trip would just be canned frosting, Twinkies ™ and Bud Light.
@MKay: Luann: You’re absolutely right. I have friends that work at a pet adoption center. They take great care in matching a pet with a caregiver, to insure a successful adoption. They do not just assign random pets to random people.
@treetown: MW: Olive goes home and we all praise Mary.
@Everything Is Better With Monkeys: It’s like Ol’ Greg has been writing too many “Shannon” stories and thinks that’s how everything works now.
GT: “I would go to the highest bidder! That’s what I always did at the bar. More money, more Beth! Love for sale boys! Works on my OnlyFans account too. Which reminds me, I’m tired of your high school chump change. Time to pay to play Gil. NIL me coach!”
Shoe-“It’s taking even longer to polish his armor if you know what I mean.”
Blondie-“Actually, doing pretty much anything is better with snacks.” This is Dagwood’s subtle way of saying that he wants to screw Herb.
MW-Meanwhile Stanley has fallen out of the basket and is plummeting to his death.
FC-“One of those men has to be my real father.”
HotC: I know it’s fun to make fun of homeowners’ associations (Doonesbury ran a funny story arc about one), but don’t these folks all live in something of a glorified tenement house in the middle of a major city? Would this place really have its own neighborhood committee? More likely Addy and her friends would be butting heads with a lazy slumlord who just wants their money, but doesn’t want to earn it by keeping the place habitable.
Herb and Jamaal: Observation of the Sabbath on Saturday, vegetarian diet, no doubt vague references to the Trinity? We’re a bowl of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes away from conclusively proving Rev. Croom is a Seventh-Day Adventist.
BF: ”Besides, he’s alone in Paris. There’s probably nobody fuckable there.”
JP: “We are such darn good people! Boo Hoo Hoo! Where did I leave my wineglass?”
Phantom: ”You don’t. NEVER use ‘contact’ as a verb. Big pet peeve of mine. Shouldn’t you have started my risotto by now?”
Muffy could have been dating a common knighthawk, a knightjar, or even a knightingale.
***
“Actually, doing pretty much anything is better with snacks.” Which is why Blondie, tired of having to wash Cheetos dust off of her nether regions, put a stop at them having two kids.
Blondie: Geez, Dagwood, dial it back. Even hobbits think you’re a little too invested in food.
Shoe: No, no, don’t you know anything about stereotypical naming conventions? “Muffy” is the name you give to a New England socialite trophy wife with an understated drinking problem. What you have here is a vaguely slutty serial dater with overtones of cougar; she should properly be called “Scarlett,” “Blanche,” or “Samantha.”
Shoe: “Honestly, we broke up because we were too much alike. I am a quite tall woman, and Lance is best known for his excessive downy undercoat.”
“You were Big Muff and Super Fuzz?”
“Exactly.”
Also Herb and Jamaal: I’d worry less about the salsa on your eggs there, Rev, and more about the sulfur. The RDA on that stuff is ridiculously low.
Blondie: Everyone talks about Dagwood’s clear eating disorder and addiction issues, but nobody comments on how Herb is blatantly an enabler who is egging it all on for his own sadistic pleasure.
@Schroduck:
That would be the Rastafarians.
Oh good, Herb has the same horrifying segmented neck thing as Dagwood. People definitely wanted to see more of that.
Blondie: Snacking is half the fun of watch football in Dagwood’s world. The other half of the fun is the half-time boinkfest with Herb.
DT: Either the artist couldn’t be arsed to fill in all those pentagrams, or Tracy has turned to the Dark Arts in his war against crime.
I’d blame the colorist, but he’s already in the shit for panel two, where it appears Tess LaKoyle is grabbing her own wrist. LEMON YELLOW RAINCOAT, dude, hasn’t changed in ninety years.
Localized Pluggers to the submitter’s area. (This joke may only work for ‘Sconnies.)
9CL: ??? Edda thought Amos told Alistair that she (Edda) would make him (Alistair, her daughter’s fiancé) delirious with pleasure??? Even in a world where all the blonds and men look the same, this does not make sense. I third the motion that Amos’s wiggling tongue is disturbing and disgusting.
C’shaft: “Even though ‘equator’ is a geographic term and ‘tropical’ would be more accurate if we wanted to describe relative climate zones. But hey, we’re still trying to make ‘climate damage’ a thing, so don’t expect us to follow basic terminology.”
DT: Oh, booo! All that build-up, even going so far as to name the potential investor Faust, and Tess doesn’t get any sort of tragic comeuppance? Come on, I want to see her accidentally shoot her blonde girlfriend or get severely maimed by the zappy gun blowing up in her hands!
Dustin: Hey, we’ve had Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter; I’m sure there’s a market for the Rail-Splitter in a high fantasy setting.
FG: Flash and Wolfang should have played more video games; they would have been prepared for a two-phase boss fight.
GT: “I’m sure robbing Tobias of his primary advocate in the district wouldn’t have any ill effects on him whatsoever.”
JP: Katherine follows the Ned Flanders’ Dad school of parenting: “We’ve tried nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!”
Luann: Sure, foster animals are assigned at random, that’s totally how it works. “Here’s some puppies that were abandoned by their owner. You do have blankets, bottles, formula, and an incubator in your dorm room, right?”
MW: “Apparently Olive is in communication with familiar spirits. We’ll have to burn her at the stake now.”
@treetown: “Ok – by now Stanley must have gotten down…”
Well, sure….he was a young man in the 1970s. You should have seen him cut a rug with the Doobie Brothers on the box! With a hey nonny nonny and a hot-cha-cha!