There’s big profits to be had in zappin’
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Dick Tracy, 10/17/25
So Dick Tracy wrapped up the case of the lady scientist with the glowing green zap gun by merely arresting her, not shooting her in the back while she was “resisting arrest.” And this turned out to be a terrible idea, because mysterious, powerful forces, possibly related to Diet Smith’s company’s desire to own the intellectual property behind said zap gun, have gotten the charges against her dropped! Mostly I’m showing you today’s strip because I think the thumb placement in panel three is very funny. How much hush money exactly is Edgar being illegally given via an easily traceable paper check? Three million and how many dollars? I guess that’s a mystery we’re not meant to know the answer to.
Wizard of Id, 10/17/25
A thing that always bugged me as a young comics-obsessed child was that the Perfesser, not Shoe, clearly seemed like the main character in Shoe, just based on how often the two of them were in the strip, and that Les Moore, not Funky Winkerbean, was clearly the main character in Funky Winkerbean, and that the King, not the Wizard, was clearly the main character in Wizard of Id. Now that I’m older and wiser, I realize how the interest of comics creators in their own various characters can wax and wane over the years, but unless you’re Snuffy Smith, it’s unlikely you’ll completely overturn the order of your reality and get your name added to the strip’s title. Still, since I’ve started reading the Wizard of Id more often lately, I feel like the Wiz is in it much more than he once was, and today it appears that he’s trying to violently ensure that his return to glory is permanent.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/17/25
“A teacher and an author? How many non-lucrative jobs can one guy have? Is he in an improv group too?”
83 replies to “There’s big profits to be had in zappin’”
RMMD:
“Jordan told on us, huh?”
“Yep. He said that you obsessed the whole time about whether you had parsley stuck between your teeth, and that Augie committed the ultimate dining etiquette faux pas by eating his oysters with his dinner fork!”
Dick Tracy: Of course, his other thumb is covering up the “Memo” section, where someone has simply written “Bribe.” (Or maybe typed it, but the fonts on this check are all over the place.)
Rex Morgan: I like that there’s a restaurant in town that people just refer to as “The Restaurant.” It’s either a really great restaurant, or a really small town.
Dick Tracy:
“What about the utility man, though?”
“Jose Oquendo? Nicknamed ‘The Secret Weapon,’ this defensive wizard was a stalwart for the Mets and Cardinals from 1983 until 1985, after which a hamstring injury forced him to retire. With a stellar lifetime fielding percentage of .983 and a banner year of 1989 in which he played in all of the Cardinals’ 163 games that year, he’s also enjoyed a stint as both a minor league and major league coach!”
RMMD: Maybe it’s just me, but that co-worker’s questions have a “so how is he in bed” subtext. Maybe it’s just the bolding of restaurant making it seem like a (wink-wink nudge-nudge) euphemism.
RMMD:
“How are things with the schoolteacher?”
“Well, you know how it is with schoolteachers — always assisting people with learning. In fact, he helped when my hubby asked for his advice on where my hubby might be able to get the freshest clams and mollusks to serve with his dinners!”
“What did he say in response when your husband asked him?”
” ‘On the banks of the river, Jordan!’ “
RMMD: I invited Augie in last night after our date but he refused.
“That’s odd. Oh, Augie left his copy of The Sun Also Rises in the office last visit.”
RMMD: Are we doomed to a month of editor/anguished artiste nonsense? Because, I’m a dinosaur, but even I know that self-publishing is a thing.
MW: I don’t think Greta and Max have the stamina to run all the way to the wilds of Indiana to paw through the wreckage of Olive’s plane.
DtM: Seriously, that woman is a sadist! Do you really think Dennis just STUMBLED on that bongo?
9CL: So, Lolly (Polly?) represents as a raving nympho but has the cognitive function of a five year- old. Ick. Just, ick.
“I heard you were at the restaurant last night.”
“What an odd thing to say. Why not name the place that we’re clearly both familiar with?”
“Oh, sorry. I just got back from a cameo in Herb and Jamaal and I’m still adjusting back to human speech.”
DtM: When I was Dennis’ age, you could find a set of bongos in just about any house you visited. For Wilson, as perpetual torment for crimes long forgotten, the beatnik movement exists in an eternal present.
@BigTed: The account name is unreadable too. I suppose they’re hoping we’ll all be surprised when after weeks of investigation, Tracy finds out Diet Smith Industries is behind the coverup.
Oh Josh, you silly. When’s the last time you wrote a check? You MAY NOT put an “and” inside the dollar amount (so, e.g., “three million and ninety-two dollars” would be a no-no). The “and” ONLY goes before the cents! So at best, the recipient here is copping an additional $0.99. Yes, I’m a Boomer. Yes, I pay my bills by check. No, I haven’t gotten three million from anyone lately, but I DO know how it works.
RMMD: Who is she kidding with that smirk in the last panel? Acting smug about your boyfriend writing a novel when he already has a full-time job that is notorious for sucking up free time? She might as well brag about how many hours she’s already put into HADES II.
MW The only way Mary can know whether Olive’s plane arrives safely is if she contacts Mary from New York, there’s no concept of “news” to report on fiery crashes.
So we can take a step back from the Magic Within mind powers? Good, I was doodling Mary in a cowl-neck Sailor Moon outfit and it was not something you’d want to actually see…
GT Hmmm … going for a John Henry style matchup of Man vs Machine with bonus buzzword “AI” and a goofy 80s-era view of a program being an exact copy of Gil’s mind?
Next week in Pluggers: “A Plugger shaves every day, whether or not he’s going to work.”
@MKay:
Don’t worry, Olive will beckon beloved bird buddies by belly brain to bail out before the plane goes boom.
Id has indoor plumbing?
10 PRINT "GET OUT THERE AND WIN"20 GOTO 10FC-“Daddy says don’t drop the soap.”
MW-With the way these characters talk I’m surprised Olive isn’t flying to Idlewild.
REX MORGAN M.D.: “So I heard you went to one of the town’s two diners!” Michelle breathlessly speculates like she’s an TMZ reporter doing celebrity sightings at “it” places to be scene.
I’ll do you one better, Josh. Forget the improv theater troupe. He’s a cartoonist.
“A teacher and an author? How many non-lucrative jobs can one guy have? Is he in an improv group too?”
I heard he’s also an avant garde jazz bass player.
DT: ‘Shtum’, huh? Funny, I never thought much about the background of secondary Dick Tracy characters, but googling “Sam Catchem Jewish” has opened up a whole world of discourse on the subject. I’ve got a lot of reading to do…
RMMD: I love the random bolding in this scene because it makes it look the words are dripping with innuendo. At a restaurant, were you? Did he tell on you? Author, is he? I think she’s trying to say that Jordan writes food-based pornography based on his own experiences in a forum that can’t be found in any place with a working firewall.
RMMD: “Soon to be published author” = “He did NaNoWriMo one time and he has the voucher for one free print-on-demand copy of your book from Amazon”.
DT: Actually his thumb is covering the currency. We can see a dollar sign, but are these three million Canadian dollars? Three million Australian dollars? Three million New Taiwanese dollars? Little tricks like this make a big difference when selling to the lucrative overseas comic strip market.
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – Did Augie eat at the Y? Have a box lunch?
RMMD: A schoolteacher and an author? Wow, does he also a dead cancer wife he needs to bring up every five seconds?
@Ken: @MKay: Given that they completely fumbled a ptime opportunity for intimacy last night, it’s safe to say that Summer’s man is doing a little “self-publishing” right now, if you catch my drift.
MW: Do I have this timeline correct? Mary and Olive encountered Saul, Eve, Max, and Greta as they first arrived at Charterstone. I think they mentioned that the balloon festival was the next day. We can all agree that the balloon ascent, crash, and rescue occurred during the course of a single day, at the end of which (wearing the same outfits) they stopped for sandwiches at the diner. The next day, Mary is dropping Olive like a hot potato at Santa Royale Airport, sending her right back to New York before Olive has a chance to wish Mary into a cornfield. So Olive has been in California for, what, 48 hours? I bet Mary will spend more time than that regaling Jeff with the story at the Bum Boat.
DT: Dick Tracy is not just an entertaining comic strip, it’s also useful. For instance, if you were a secret agent, you could use the dialogue in today’s strip to identify another operative in the field. Picture it. You’re in a park, and you see a man in a trenchcoat sitting on a park bench. You sit down next to him and say, “What about the utility man, though?” Without even making eye contact with you, the man says, “Word is, some kind of settlement was reached.” That’s your cue to say, “Big money buys a lot of shtum.” And with that, the man discreetly hands you an envelope containing a dossier and leaves without another word. Within 24 hours, that man will be dead, and you will be on a plane to Marrakesh. And Dick Tracy helped make it all happen!
Id: This Wizard of Id becomes really sad when you consider that the people in this land have almost nothing, yet they’re so angry at the king, they’re willing to sacrifice what few possessions they have just to express their displeasure with him. See that brick in panel one? That was someone’s retirement fund. And that pitchfork in panel two? Well, now that farmer has nothing left to leave his children when he dies of cholera.
RMMD: I’m not really interested in this conversation, so I’m choosing to focus on the background details. Like notice that ominous placard next to the seats in the waiting room. “Do not sit in this particular chair. Choose any seat you like, but leave this specific one alone. For something terrible happened in this chair. We can’t give you the exact details because of HIPAA, but we can say it was intense.”
FC: RIP Daddy Keane, slipped on a bar of wet soap let by Ida Know and Not Me and died of a brain bleed while his kids make various malapropisms about seizures and hemorrhages.
JP: Not only should Sam adopt Charlotte, he should stand for the special election to the judgeship Randy has very obviously vacated and muscle the Parkers out of this strip once and for all.
MW: this whole story line was patently absurd. For one thing dogs don’t have the capability of understanding English. Over time they can associate certain words with objects and actions like “go to the park” “food” “go for a ride” etc, but even if you were able to communicate directly with them via ESP, they wouldn’t be able to make sense of what they were hearing. It would just be sonic gibberish.
We live in a world where anyone can go to ChatGPT and have the results for sale on Amazon later that day. “Published author” has less cachet these days than “six-year-olds who can cross the street safely by themselves.”
***
I wonder if Barney Google and Fritzi Ritz ever meet up and console each other, even though Barney’s fall was greater. Sure, Fritzi used to be a movie star in her comic, but Barney had a goddamn song written about him in the real world.
Questionablecontent:
Today’s Panel One seems to have Marigold speaking of herself in the third person, but it would seem that it’s a misplaced word balloon and it’s Hannelore who’s supposed to be doing the talking! Only Hannelore is smiling and the content of the word balloon closely matches Marigold’s worried expression. I’m done with trying to decide whether Jephthy simply no liver cares how expressions work or whether he intended Marigold to speak, then changed his mind to have Hannelore speak, but was too high to redraw Hannelore’s expression or check where his word balloon was going.
@Ukranazi Stepan: *longer not liver
Wizard of Id: Yeah, the strip switched focus back to the Wizard not too long after the authorship change.
@Charterstoned: MW: It wouldn’t surprise me if Olive’s parents cut the visit short after Mary nearly got her killed (and evacuated the balloon before her).
Luann: The “joke” is that Bernice is wearing running shoes, but they don’t show her actually moving any faster.
@pugfuggly: Yeah, Sam’s been “Oy vey”-ing for a long time. Also if you check the dicktracy.fandom wiki, “he had worked in a delicatessen, been a dentist, and studied law”, which might be seen as coded occupations. I imagine the law training is useless working with Tracy, but a knowledge of dental tools should be handy when a suspect isn’t… forthcoming.
DT: Yeah, well, you can never have too much shtum.
WizId: Hey, King! Try going downstairs!
Dick Tracy: “Big money buys a lot of shtum.” I have to assume that “shtum” is some kind of sexual euphemism, not because I want to, but because it’s the law.
“A teacher and an author? How many non-lucrative jobs can one guy have? Is he in an improv group too?”
“He’s also a blogger.”
Uncomfortable silence descends.
RMMD: Medical Receptionist Barbie seriously seems to think hitching her wagon to Augie Doggy Ding Dong Daddy is her ticket out of this dump.
S4th: Ces seems to have gotten his scripts mixed up. Will this particular insufferable overwritten brat ask about where her real mommy and daddy are tomorrow?
JP: Speaking of which, yes, yes you are adopting someone else’s kid Sam. Your wife seems to make a hobby of it (see Sophie, Neddy, the carrot-haired mute boy, etc.). The raspberry-haired brat can be your new scullery maid and live under the stairs a la Harry Potter.
@Liam:
On MW: Idlewild? Only if Mary was seeing Olive off at a cruise ship dock…
Rex Morgan, MD: I published a book (a guide to comics for librarians) back in 2019. People assumed I was making money hand over fist; when I left a job because of unworkable hours, people assumed it was because I was secretly book-rich.
Only writers understand what a terrible deal being a professional writer is. How Augie and Blond-Librarian-Looking-Lady can afford to eat at The Restaurant, the only remaining eatery on their world, really tests my suspension of disbelief.
Anyone else notice the nonbinary-flag-colouring of the wizard’s spell? Thanks for the acknowledgement WoI, now never acknowledge we exist ever again
Family Circus isn’t a strip where normally inanimate objects display sentient motion but I guess the soap ejecting itself from the pool of filth was too good a joke to pass up.
@Schroduck: I’m thinking S$. Given that Singapore abolished jury trials 50+ years ago, plus their fondness for canings and hangings, I think there’s a real market for Dick Tracy’s brand of justice there.
@brendancalling: ALL bass players get paid in beer.
Ron Carter, the most celebrated living jazz bassist, lives in his Mom’s basement.
Blondie: I wonder whether Dagwood makes her wear that caterer’s uniform in the bedroom.
Bizarro : “Because the chicken is a daring rulebreaker” is not one I heard before.
***********
Flash Gordon : Are the Mongovians really going to fall for a Wacky-Inflatable-Tube-Man telling them to immediately kill the person sitting to their left?
….
Okay, I gotta admit, this shift from “Tournament Arc” to “Flash Gordon and his friends have to escape a city-wide riot where everyone is trying to kill each other” is both abrupt AND organic.
***********
Rex Morgan M.D. : “Soon-to-be-published”? Augie sounded like he doesn’t even have a finished first draft, much less got one to be approved, yet here she is, talking like they could go to the bookstore tomorrow and buy his book (or, even more farfetched, fail to buy his book because it sold out near immediately).
***********
Wizard of Id : I like how the kitchen sink is the VERY FIRST thing the revolting peasants threw at the king.
Dick Tracy: It’s as refreshing to have a comic strip that trusts its readers to know a Yiddishism like “shtum” as it is baffling the same strip doesn’t trust its readers to know Edgar’s last name is “Schmoe.”
RMMD – “Soon to be a father, you mean? It took over an hour but I finally reeled him in and got him inside, and I don’t just mean my house. But the author thing is going to be postponed a bit.”
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Oy, comix iz a shanda fur die goyim…
Fritzi Ritz…
Nancy.
“Three million dollars! I’m rich! Me, Edgar Grant, right! Let me just move my thumb . . . What? Edgar Allan Poe? Who the hell is that? And what’s a Zimbabwean dollar worth? Jesus, maybe . . . if I move my other thumb . . . it’s unsigned? Nooooo!”
Woke Wizard of Id is a day early for the No Kings rally.
@Col. Havoc: Blondie, Dagwood — no, wait, that’s the way it’s always been.
Also Dick Tracy: First thing you want to do with that check, Edgar, is find a nice off-shore account to stick it in, maybe Neo-Switzerland or the Neo-Cayman Islands. Don’t put it in your toilet, Sam will find it right away. Anyway, the second thing you want to do is buy your wifebot a serious upgrade. The blonde Lady Miss Kier look is so 1990.
Also The Wizard of Id: Who throws a kitchen sink with the s-trap still attached? Who has a kitchen sink with a single basin? It’s no wonder they’re revolting! Or are they remodeling? It’s so hard to tell the difference sometimes.
RMMD-“I heard you were under the table last night.”
MW: June and Karen sat comfortably on their sofa, sipping champagne.
“Well,” Karen sighed contentedly, “that’s another story finished. We’ll recap everything on Sunday and then start our next episode beginning on Monday.”
“What is your quote for Sunday, have you decided?” June inquired, leaning forward to refill her glass.
“Well, I couldn’t decide if it should reflect the crash or the happy resolution.” Karen frowned, considering the quote options laid out on the table. She picked up an index card. “What do you think of this one? ‘Hope is a helium balloon. It is a wish lantern set out into the dark sky of night.? Sharon Weil'”
“It’s a little sappy, to be honest, but I guess it’s in keeping with the themes we presented in the Olive-Mary arc.” June idly picked up another index card, then stopped as she thought out loud, “What about that quote by–what’s his name…Orhan Pamuk!: ‘Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.'”
Karen tilted her head. “That’s not bad. Our readers seemed to have a hard time believing the Olive-Mary storyline. Maybe that can be our ‘told you so’ quote.”
June nodded, but then said, “Well, but Sid will want something if we mention dogs….”
Karen shrugged, “We can throw him a bone.”
@Voshkod:
A teacher and an author? How many non-lucrative jobs can one guy have? Is he in an improv group too?”
“He’s also a blogger.”
Uncomfortable silence descends.
“And he moderates the Comments.”
The silence deepens.
@pugfuggly: The Rex Morgan universe is so boring, restaurants are considered dens of iniquity. It’s practically the same as going to a strip club!
WoI — “Who’s “we”, your Majesty?
WoI – The Wizard of Id has always been a period piece, but today they’re taking it literally.
Don Abundio, translated:
“The boss just got a big fancy chemistry set!”
“Isn’t that marvellous?”
“I guess so…”
“Although, you know, some of those chemicals can be dangerous!”
DT: Why is he covering up his last name? Are the Dick Tracy writers worried we’ll dox the fictional tertiary character in the zappy gun plot?
RMMD: “Oh, I didn’t realize! So, how are things with the schoolteacher with the overinflated ego and delusions of grandeur?”
RIP Ace Frehley, original Kiss lead guitarist, the one with the star makeup. He was 74.
I considered myself a maven of Yiddish slang until this morning’s Dick Tracy. I understood what he meant from context, but that’s not one of the many words I’ve learned.
Dude can go shtup himself.
@Tabby Lavalamp: I’m becoming even more convinced that Augie’s “novel” is some obscenely filthy fan fiction and the “work” he needs to do is filing the proverbial serial numbers off before he submits it to Kindle Direct.
@Charterstoned: re MW: You got that right, CS! The Ladies are pullin’ the plug prematurely on Olive’s “mini-vacation”… before they can even get to Animal Hospital to meet up with the Terrific Trio! Yes, Libby, Pierre, and Odin have been working on several new routines and have waited, not so patiently, for their long overdue return! And now THIS!
To be honest, I think The Ladies ended the story because they couldn’t take all the bad press about Olive’s “gifts” and the telepathy flim-flam… Yeah, as soon as Max and Greta disappeared from the panels, the audience really turned vicious…. You think they woulda realized they needed to get some *more* Animal Stars in there pronto, but nooooo, just keep piling on the crapola. Whatta business! We’re takin’ all the Charterstone Pet cast out for ice cream… well, we’ll bring back some for Willa.
CS: A perfect headline for the Centerville Sentinal: Elderly Couple Gored to Death by Rutting Buck.
@Ukulele Ike:
Shit… I quit drinking. That means no pay.
I don’t think that’s accurate about Ron Carter, but it sure is accurate about more than a few fellow bass players i know…
@Powers: Whatever happened to “Spook”?
You’d think in these times, a character wrongly arrested and held in a dirty dungeon for unknown “crimes” against The King could be put to some use.
DT – Three million shitum! That buys a lot of shit in Crapatania….
WOI – …time for this one to go home….
RMMD – Soon to have a garage full of self published books, you mean….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
I thought the main character of Funky Winkerbean was Crankshaft.
@UncleJeff: That name is highly problematic, especially for a justice impacted individual.
Josh, don’t forget the King has https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlotArmor
C’shaft: Tomorrow’s Centerville Sentinel front page:
TWO SENIORS GORED TO DEATH BY RUTTING BUCK
Inside: Skip Rawlins’ interview with Batton Thomas, part 12 of 50
Dustin: Oh please, Dustin, when’s the last time you had a witty comeback to a woman brushing you off? It’s not like you’ve lacked for opportunity.
GT: “Trust me, it’s called a ‘play-action pass’. It sounds crazy but it just might work!”
Luann: “Also, you’re running in the same direction the conveyor belt is moving.”
MT: I’m sorry, but the only way you can be named “Jess” and have a magnificent handlebar mustache is if you’re a bourgeois bohemian type who lives in Portland and does offbeat things like commuting via unicycle.
MW: Question: do you think anyone bothered to tell Olive’s parents that their daughter was in a hot air balloon crash and was lost in No Cell Service State Park for an indeterminate amount of time? (If yes: did they emerge from the sex dungeon long enough to respond to the text/e-mail?)
@Guillermo el Chiclero: Whoops, oversnarpologies!
FLASH! AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!: Darn, just as I was enjoying this strip, they have to rip of the Star Wars Sequels with “Somehow, Ming returned.”
@Victor Von: I understand. It was the same way with my adult-film career.
@TheDiva: You must admit that Mark knows what his readers at Teen Girl Sparkle want — the scoop on Tess’s new husband, and some juicy gossip about her previous marriages.
Gasoline Alley: The real health inspector is a dead ringer for Frank (“EEE-Yeeeeeeeeesssss?”) Nelson, a character actor in the ’30s whose likeness and voice were even in some Looney Tunes. I wonder how infinitesmal a niche Scancarelli is aiming for.
Lockhorns: After the Underoos and Garanimals stage, males are allowed to pick their own clothing. Leroy is making me wonder at what age men should lose that privilege.
Beetle Bailey: The leisure suits belong to the General’s son. He’s still got zoot suits in there.
FC: I’m jealous. As a kid I wasn’t allowed to recreate the Battle of Jutland in the bathtub.
MW: “Tonight’s top story: Tragedy at Santa Royale Airport today as an errant hot air balloon was struck by a departing jet. There were no survivors, and the rescue dogs proved ineffective.”
H&L: “After the Beanie Babies, Franklin Mint plates, and NFTs, your baseball cards are the only hope we have left.”
@Her Father, John Darling: According to that group chat from the Young (lol) Republicans, that’s not such a problem anymore.
@Little Guy: Nah, it’s a SNEAKY KIRAN TRICK. I thought Azura was a happy little bunny being the Absolute Ruler of her domain with no more Boss Ming, but she seems to be drifting toward empire-based totalitarianism again.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: And yet, Jerry only made it to 53. Eddie Lang only got as far as 30. I hope they give Ace a bone-crushing punch in the nose when he arrives at those pearly gates.
@ValdVin: Oh, Frank Nelson shows up in GA at least twice a year. He’s extremely irritating!