Mmm … quality pellet food
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Intelligent Life, 11/19/25
For my sins, I have come to be able to recognize the various recurring characters in Intelligent Life, even if I often forget their names, and I can tell you that the guy in the background in panel three is not one of them. I think it would be good if more nameless background characters showed up to roll their eyes at the terrible punchlines in this strip, though. Maybe it would inspire enough shame to grind this whole enterprise to a halt!
Mary Worth, 11/19/25
A thousand miles away, at a boozy conference dinner, a disgruntled waiter was hovering over a tableful of academics, who in turn were trying not to stare at Ian Cameron as he stood facing away from them just out of earshot. “But that card has a $10,000 limit!” he hissed. “What do you mean it’s overdrawn? We heart pets? I don’t have any pets and I definitely don’t heart them! This has to be some kind of mistake! Please, I’m going to lose face in front of the people from Oberlin! I’m begging you!”
Dick Tracy, 11/19/25
“In our case, it was the opposite. Ozob was short here by now. He did the vacation and slowly entered the same province!”
38 replies to “Mmm … quality pellet food”
Intelligent Life:
“You know, Skip, the irony here is that our strip is called ‘Intelligent‘ Life, and yet all of us are drawn here as if we have an extra chromosome or two, which would be a deviation from the brainpower mean, and not in a good way.”
HnL: Political commentary makes it to the legacy Funnies. I wonder who Dawg is meant to represent
MW:
“That’s your baby, ma’am? — who’s the father?”
“Larry Bird — or is it Andrew? I forget.”
MW: Man, that is one smug-looking parrot!
MW:
“Why don’t you have your little friend try a sample of the densified feed to see if he likes it, Miss? — see that morsel on the seat of the stationary bike in back?”
“No. Don’t say it, sir.”
“Yep. There’s a pellet on the Peloton!”
“Yes,” pet store salesman thinks, “a live one! With the commission from this I’ll be able to take my family on holiday at last!”
“RAWK! That’s right, pet store guy, scam the Hell out of this dumbass!”
“Are…are you inside my mind? What…what? I…yes, Bird Master. Cages and those ring perch thingies are this way, ma’am.”
“The Bird is pleased. Glory to you, and your studio apartment!”
IL This strip is fascinating to me, because while it is obsentibly about young nerds, the dialogue reads like rejected Abbot and Costello routines.
MW I’m getting the impression that the only idea that the writer had when they started this storyline was ‘Toby gets bird’ and now they’re just spinning their wheels trying to figure out what could possibly happen next.
DT “We caught him on tape here practicing his fencing stance. Good foot balance…”
MW- this story is making the Olive worship fest look riveting. I can only hope Josh got it right.
MW: Toby passes the lost pet photo bulletin board on the way out.
“Look, Sunny! Peanut could be your twin.” Continues walking.
Well, it would definitely mean Ozob quickly exited to another state and then did the job, which left behind VERY confused victims.
@Anonymous:
D’oh, that was me.
Dans Sans Ghost Cat Countdown: 3
DT:
“Now, when Ozob broke into that auto body shop, did he take anything?”
“Well, as you can see from today’s first panel, that’s kind of a gray area!”
@pugfuggly: The two main characters in IL are basically Shorty and the Beanpole after they reach age 23.
They really have absolutely nothing on Ozob. A blurry figure was caught on camera when a dog started barking? Maybe it was your friend the ghost cat, huh? He’s a ghost and a cat, it fits the evidence.
DT: ‘Alarm went off…when a dog started barking.’ “Our alarms are specifically tuned to dogs not humans. They piss on the wheels, you know.”
Phantom:
“Now, it’s been suggested to me, big fella, that I replace you with 2025 Kentucky Derby winner ‘Sovereignty,’ but that would be a horse of a different color!”
When the background characters you create hate your jokes as much as sane adults, isn’t that the moment you drop your pen and go, like, start a Javan rhino sanctuary? Build a shelter for kids born with their hearts on the outside? Spend the rest of your evenings ladling soup? You realize the awfulness you’ve inflicted on the world, Intelligent Life Guy. Make amends. It’s never too late. Or seppuku. Seppuku’s cool, too.
MW – We Love Pets is having its annual bone sale! Time to stock up.
IL: “What are you getting me for Christmas this year?”
I don’t know, a book? We seem to be standing in a book store.
BF – Yes, Maeve, she’s retiring. Like you wouldn’t let her before. She’s making it stick this time. Now you see if you can move to France and make THAT stick.
MW: “Hmm. Maybe an extra-extra large dog crate. No, it’s not for the bird.”
RMMD: “Don’t publish your book because it triggers me. Don’t resent me for it. Other than that, keep buying me dinner. Good talk!”
GT: This strip is like one of those people who start talking out loud in the middle of their own long train of thought.
MW: @Josh, I don’t know if this is protocol, but I think you should award yourself COTW for today’s hilarious riff on Mary Worth. Cannot. Stop. Laughing!
FC: Jeffy referring to himself and his siblings metaphorically as “crusts” is pretty deep for a kid his age. Maybe I underestimated him.
MW: It is appropriate that the salesman is suggesting that Toby should buy a cage, since I have always felt that she belongs in one. (For that matter, Wilbur belongs in an aquarium. Mary, of course, already spends most of the day with her head in the oven.)
MW: @Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars! Nice work on getting Paulie such a great gig! Just wondering, do you get extra remuneration for product placement? Bone Sale doesn’t track very well with a parrot, but I expect good quality PELLET FOOD should pay you something…!
@Bob Tice: This reminds me of s joke:
An old man is on a bench staring at a punk with a moussed and multicolored mohawk. Sneering, the punk says “What’re you lookin’ at old man?” The man replies, “Oh, about 18 years ago, when I was in the navy, I fucked a parrot. I was wondering if you might be my kid.”
MW: The suggestion of buying some toys triggers the thought that Toby will be stopping at the Fantasyland store on the edge of town on her way home.
Mary Worth: “How about toys? Or maybe a new cage? We just got a new supply in!” “No, thank you. I don’t swing that way.”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Heh, perverted minds think alike.
IL: I guess you still can’t say “I gave you Jack Shit!” in the comics.
“What do you think of Intelligent Life?” Gandhi: “I think it would be a very good idea.”
Also Mary Worth: Sale bone? “We ♥ Pets” on an obviously hand-lettered sign? If you’re going to shop a fly-by-night store, Toby, at least go to Parrots Rrawwk.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Toys R Us, Tobee needs to buy herself some new building blocks and fingerpaints.
JP: ‘If there’s anything my cousin Dez back in California taught me, it’s thrusting your friends into awkward situations they didn’t ask for and didn’t consent to participate in ALWAYS turns out great!’
RMMD: ‘Hoo boy, my cousin Wilbur Weston back in California warned me about dames like you. Can’t you just be happy for me and not put me in these complex, uncomfortable situations?’
JP Y’know, there are these things called recipes and even temperature conversions online (you don’t even need to consult a table! just put it in the search bar with the numbers!). I’d be more worried about where you’re going to get a turkey in Norway, seems it’s not unheard of but you”d have an easier time doing festive baked fish.
@The Rambling Otter: Gee, and won’t she be devastated when she finds it all boarded up, abandoned and vandalized.
(Yeah, I still miss the Toys R Us’es that my parents used to take me to as a kid. The Legos… the Micro Machines… Sorry, I think I have something in my eye…)