What vile Scots obscenity is Ian shouting here? Sound off in the comments
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Blondie, 12/9/25
I’m pretty impressed that Alexander and Cookie have figured out how to mirror both their phones to the TV simultaneously, and even more impressed that they’ve managed to seize control of the wheeled TV stand, turn it 90 degrees from its usual position facing Dagwood, and roll it towards the viewer, yet somehow still have it visible to Blondie. I’m not impressed that Cookie thinks a circa 1985 camcorder is going to help her with her vlogging career.
Mary Worth, 12/9/25
Ah, yes, Ian has awoken to discover that the eternal struggle between man and bird has escalated yet further during his slumber! Is Toby to blame for this latest attack, since she bought Sunny an ample cage in which one might expect him to be confined at night, but then didn’t close the door? Well, maybe, but surely any animal clever enough to identify the particular bit of hoarded detritus to which Ian is most fiercely emotionally attached couldn’t be held back by some feeble latch.
Dennis the Menace, 12/9/25
Gotta say I’m intrigued by how philosophical Mr. Wilson looks here. Another birthday to celebrate, and the only people who showed up are his wife, who lives there anyway, and his most hated enemy, who is also a five-year-old child … truly, life is a funny old thing, and you never know exactly where you’re going to end up.
66 replies to “What vile Scots obscenity is Ian shouting here? Sound off in the comments”
Sunny is already cleverer than the entire cast of Mary Worth put together, since he took one look at Ian and knew that chipboard had to go. His hints are still subtle, but not for long. Tomorrow Ian will wake up with just clumps left.
Mr. Wilson is i years old, the imaginary square root of -1. I’m not sure it counts as older if you add a year.
MW: I don’t blame Ian for being upset. After all, Othello’s autograph is pretty rare.
Dennis the Menace-Keep talking like that, Dennis, and neither will you.
Blondie-Truly amazing how Dagwood can see what’s on the screen with the tv turned to the side.
RMMD-Why you’ll be big, Auggie. Bigger than Les Moore.
MW-Not Ian’s signed copy of a local regional production! Sunny is a monster.
Mary Worth:
“That’s my favorite Shakespeare play! — Moor or less!”
Mary Worth Mashups: I wondered what the next panel could be. Then created a few. Which is your favorite?
Blondie: Having lost track of hip, techno mimes long ago, I’m not sure why Cookie needs an eighties era camcorder but I’m pretty sure it’s related to Minecraft.
Mary Worth:
Gosh — where’s Jannie when you need a cigarette to calm yourself down?
DtM:
When it comes to curmudgeonly expressions, Mr. Wilson takes the cake.
MW: “Playbill” my ass. That’s Ian’s copy of “Playboy: Gay Edition” that Sunny found sticking out from beneath his mattress.
MW: Sunny is a racist?!
Didn’t see that coming.
(I had an original copy of the Othello Playbill starring Paul Robeson. I sold it to a collector of AA memorabilia)
The usually indulgent Mrs. Wilson is thinking, “Hey, I’m that old. Get that brat out of here.”
DtM:
[King Louis XVI]: “I hope Monsieur Wilson doesn’t lose his head over this insult by Dennis!”
[Marie Antoinette]: “Let them eat cake.”
@Baja Gaijin: Clearly panel 3. Sunny has heard what Tobey has been muttering under her breath.
Blondie : This is the worse case of a phenomenon I’ve mostly come across under the name “Pro Wrestlers watching TV”* I’ve EVER seen.
*The idea is that, when a pro wrestler is watching an opponent on closed-circuit TV, both the wrestler and the TV are blocked to face the audience, even if, when one would diagram their positions, that means the wrestler and the TV are facing AWAY from each other.
**************
Dustin : …Simone isn’t really Dustin’s employer. She’s a service worker helping him, or even further, DUSTIN is the one employing HER (to help him find a job). Or am I misunderstanding how a temp agency works?
**************
Mary Worth vs Moose & Molly : oh look, the strips are (briefly) coincidentally about the same general plot, just with the spouses’ roles reversed!
Also, this is the most relatable Ian has ever been to me, and I’m kinda scared about that? (I still kinda hold a grudge against an old pet for devouring a large quantity of books we owned)
**************
Shoe : …is actually his LAST name? Huh.
Blondie:
Do Cookie and Alexander actually ever do anything of substance in this strip, or do they simply while away their time with vague teen pursuits and interact only occasionally and languidly with events and people, like Tennyson’s Lotos-eaters?
MW: Sunny is a big fan of the late Gilbert Godfrey’s character from Aladdin, and thus was obliged to destroy the Moor.
MW: The parrot in the “Aladdin ” franchise is named Iago. Henceforth, I will hear Sunny sounding like Gilbert Gottfried.
RMMD: So, I guess Autumn Rook will have to live forever. Stephen King has taught us what happens otherwise.
DtM: Could be that Dennis-inspired bile, canker and loathing are the very secrets to Mr Wilson’s longevity. Stranger things have happened.
Ian. I know Aaron Posner. (I don’t.) Aaron Posner is a friend of mine. (I’ve never been within 50 miles of the man, as far as I know.) You, sir, are no Aaron Posner. (This much, at least, is true.)
@Gil Bates: Haha, you got in seconds ahead of me.
DUSTIN: “I heard that some employers surprised their workers with a gift. It’s something I learned in my brief sojourn as a male escort.” (Also, psst, Dustin? She’s not an “employer.” She’s an emissary to help you get work. You don’t “work” for her. Indeed since you’re the client in question she’s technically supposed to “work” for you. Just saying, Dustin, you might have an easier time getting hired under a creator who knew how the employer/employee chain-of-command actually worked.)
Mary Worth: “Mhac na galla” (son of a bitch)! Feel free to use it yourself — if you can figure out how to pronounce it.
Phantom:
“Okay, a little off-topic, but this fellow here in the first panel should probably go as Michael Ansara’s ‘Cochise’ for Halloween!”
MW: Is that Deep Space Nine‘s Avery Brooks as Othello? Is Ian annoyed that the bird has destroyed priceless literary culture, or is he annoyed that his Star Trek memorabilia just lost resale value?
Mary Worth:
[Text in today’s comic]: “Stupid $#@% bird!”
[Translation into colloquial Scot]: “Yer bum’s oot the windae!”
DT: OK – a cheap burner flip phone actually fits for someone who might need to ditch the phone suddenly.
MW: Wonderful – let the escalation begin! Sunny is smart – attacking the periphery, annoying Ian, and harrying him. Tobey will catch Ian trying to bash Sunny with a fire iron and acting crazy. Soon, school management will hear about this!
JP: Meanwhile … nevermind, I hope the spy/thriller story just goes away and is forgotten like the whole legal again. Years later after the strip has been renamed Charlotte, only historians will remember there was once legal stuff going on.
GT: It must be contagious! The kids are not blood related to Beth yet all are jowly.
Phantom: Yeah, you tell her, we is your badge. Patrolman Dai Lu Han retorts: “Badges? I don’t need no stinking badges”.
Slylock Fox: Is that a tofu dog or is this where Slylock goes to secreetly kill, butcher and eat his fellow creatures.
@Anonymous: P. Martin Shoemaker!
Blondie: I’m mostly impressed that the entire Bumstead family is wearing white shoes well after Labor Day.
Sunny’s ‘SQUAWK!” roughly translates to “Fuck you Chinbeard!”
Pluggers: That’s clearly not a single-occupancy bathroom (no latch/lock), the so how long is the bear-man going to be dancing as folks go in and out until he achieves the total woods-like privacy he apparently requires to shit?
Dennis the Menace: I’ve heard of living rent-free in somebody’s head, but living there immortally? That’s a whole ‘nother level of menace.
@Rosstifer: Sunny speaks for us all.
Dennis the Menace alt joke: I’ve met a number of centenarians who would have been just as happy not to see their next birthday. I’m beginning to understand their perspective on a new level. If I were at least 136 years old like Mr. Wilson, I’d be begging the pastor to call up to Heaven and tell God to send my mother to come collect me too.
@2+2=7: I inferred that Dustin got his jobs through a temp agency. When I worked for temp agencies, the temp agency was technically my employer, and the company they assigned me to just paid the temp agency a fee. So Dustin may not be too off-base here.
BLONDIE: Geez, Josh, maybe the clone children are soliciting us, the audience, to buy them their fancy I-gadgets for them as well. They know that “today’s savvy teen” can skip commercials and have learned from their corporate masters that they need to shove advertising anywhere they can (It’s definitely the lesson that Apple seems to have learned, at least.)
Blondie: I get why they showed the 1980s camcorder. If they wanted to depict a phone and a current video camera, it would just be two pictures of phones.
MW – Sunny will be remembered as one who shredded not wisely, but too well.
@Anonymous #16: The bigger problem is that this is basically just the “Wilbur hates Estelle’s cat” plot again.
Mary Worth: Really looking forward to Sunny declaring that he is a member of the Associated Presbyterian Churches of Scotland, and Ian’s participation in the Free Presbyterian Church is riddled with doctrinal error and Romish nonsense. I mean, I’m really looking forward to it. There’s nothing like coffee and schism in the Calvinist movement to get you moving in the morning!
@2+2=7: If “today’s savvy teen” can skip commercials, I wish they’d teach me how. As I write this, I’m being pitched an online university, a pinball machine, an IQ test, an anime, power mower accessories, a credit union, and a local Christmas attraction that’s actually local to *me* for a change. And some of them have rotated while I was writing this.
Yes, I know there’s an ad-free Comics Curmudgeon subscription that I probably should buy.
Mary Worth: Ian, no! Sunny didn’t do it. He was framed by Iago the parrot from Aladdin!
GIL THORP: OMG, girlfriend, Onomatopoeia Acessories is my favorite jewelry brand too! (seriously, what the fuck is Keri wearing?!)
MW – I hope Ian enjoyed the production of the musical Shaft.
Phantom: Since the weather was nice, she walked.
@matt w: well, the magnitude of (i+1) is bigger than i’s, but I’m not sure what counts as “age” in the 2D complex plane
That’s the real Apple Logo. I expected “Blondie” to sell out, but to a food company, not for electronics!
Six Chix: I don’t know what the joke is, but the Ghost of Christmas Past did not wear chains. That was the ghost of Marley.
Dennis is of course wrong. Mr Wilson is not getting any older. Just like Dennis, he’s stuck at his age, forever
Curtis Anybody else disturbed by how these pre-teens are talking about an ideal girlfriend in terms of qualities relevant to a couple that sets up house together? only me?
Luann I wonder which flavour of Incompetent Dog Rescue Theater we’re about to experience – zero vetting of the fosters adopting the dog concerning whether their residence is “legal”, or shrugging when they say Dash “ran away” and then keep him for themselves?
Sunny decided to destroy not any Shakespeare Playbill, but one with a POC on the cover. I’m not saying that parrots are racist, but…[note to self: check whether parrots can see colours]
Mary Worth: Maybe “Sunny” is actually Sonny in disguise! If they can keep him away from his beloved Cocoa Puffs, he won’t go cuckoo! Conflict solved!
MW: No one is surprised by how short and stubby Ian’s feet are.
Mary Worth:
Sunny, yesterday my life was filled with gain
Sunny, you riled at me and…really seized the pain
Now the snarked days are on, and the trite days are here
My Sunny one whines, insincere
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
Sunny, [blank] you for the stunned whine today
Sunny, [blank] you for the drudge you brought my way
You gave to me your gall and gall
Now I feel two feet tall
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
Sunny, [blank] you for the half-truths you let me see
Sunny, [blank] you for the “AK!”s from A to Z
My strife was torn like a wind-blown sand
Then your schlock was formed when we quelled plans
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
Sunny, [blank] you for that bile upon your fa-ace
Mmm, Sunny, [blank] you, [blank] you for the scream that flows in spa-ace
You’re my snarked, ill-natured crier
You’re effete — complete misfire
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
Sunny, yesterday, oh, my life was filled with gain
And Sunny, you riled at me and really, really seized the pain
Now the snarked days are on, and the trite days are here
My Sunny one whines, insincere
Sunny one so shrewd, I bug you
I bug you, I bug you (Sunny)
I bug you (Sunny), said, I bug you (Sunny)
Yes, I bug you (Sunny)
[fade]
— Bobby Hebb (adapted)
Blondie: Escher would be impressed by that optical illusion.
MW: Oh no! That’s probably been autographed by {squints} Keith David!
DtM: “I thought you were ageless, like a mummy or a dracula.”
DtM: Dennis quotes the bible:
Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures —Psalm 90:10
“You know.” Dennis says. “Your continued existence is a form of blasphemy”
I guess if you give Dagwood and Blondie a seating arrangement no couple in the history of humanity ever set up in their home no matter how much they didn’t care about each other, it’s no big deal to throw your hands up and say screw it, now nobody can see the TV for the sake of this joke.
***
I have a few signed mementos. They are all safe from birds, dogs, cats, and Toby (because come on, we don’t know who the actual culprit is) because I don’t just leave them out where something could happen to them. This is on you, Ian.
***
“Why aren’t you dead yet, Mr. Wilson?” Menacing Factor: 10/10.
Mary Worth:
Was the version that Ian saw the modern take on the play where Iago does an a cappella version of Peter and Gordon’s “I Go to Pieces”?
@Banana Jr. 6000: The ad-free version is only three bucks a month, and makes for a much more pleasant reading experience.
Luann: I’m not going to go back and check, but I think a bunch of people called this one.
CS: I just can’t get enough of the Pizza Box Monster! Thank goodness he’s in a wholly unrelated part of this universe!
9CL: Brahms, the quicker picker upper!
MW: Ian’s about to teach Sunny a new word. “Spatchcock”.
BG&SS: Be grateful for what you have, Snuffy: Perhaps the last rural Southern sheriff who didn’t sign a contract with Corrections Corporation of America.
Blondie – Cookie wants to make cyber porn and Alexander wants to watch it. Kids today! Amirite….
MW – Ah – the classic battle of wits – Ian versus Sunny! Of course the greater intellect will prevail. That’s why my money is on Sunny….
DtM – Good old Mr Wilson must pray for death every day. It’s good to have achievable goals….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@Charterstone: Dune: He’s an anthropomorphic bear. His two sides combine to form a being who only shits in an outhouse in the woods. And no Porta-Potty, but a real one-holer made from wood.
@nescio: I guess Sunny shredded all of Ian’s razor’s too, because those are some hairy-ass feet, I tell you.
@CanuckDownSouth: I’m disturbed that the fat kid wants a “trad wife.”
@Harmless little bunny: So Xunise has not read Dickens or seen any of the dozens of movie adaptations. Worse, she’s never sat through any of the hundreds of sitcom parodies. Get thee to the “Flintstones Christmas Carol,” Binaca.
DtM: Dennis reminds Mr. Wilson that each birthday may well be his last, especially at his age. Menace level: existential.
MW: If it was so “prized,” why was it just left on the top shelf of the bookcase gathering dust? Maybe if you’d had a frame or protective sleeve for it Sunny wouldn’t be using it for bedding fodder.