A little Rex goes a long way, that’s all I’m saying
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Mary Worth, 1/6/26
OK, sorry, I do not buy that dour Scot Ian Cameron is someone whose heart is cheered by the presence of Christmas decorations, and anyway look at that deranged expression in the second panel: he’s doing more evil anti-Sunny plotting! The cat thing didn’t work but he’s got more up his sleeve. Is tinsel poisonous to parrots? Only one way to find out! Meanwhile, Toby continues to read BLAM! (?) Magazine, oblivious.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/6/26
If you’ve been given the awesome responsibility of stewarding one of America’s beloved soap opera comic strip, you could do worse things with it than reassure your rapidly aging audience that cataract surgery is immensely beneficial and really not a big deal. This series of strips is probably going to reduce highway deaths by a small but measurable amount! Still, in-universe, I’m reading the subtext here as “So I’m just letting you know that you’re not actually going to be spending that much more time with us at the clinic, which is good, because most of the staff here does not like you very much.”
Garfield, 1/6/26
Now, normally, I would say that Paws, Inc., is such a massive corporate juggernaut in the comics world that it can do what it wants — appropriate Hi and Lois’s “Sunbeam” intellectual property, whatever. But the company was bought by Viacom in 2019, and, thanks to a series of other corporate acquisitions and maneuverings over the past few years, is today part of Paramount Skydance, which is in the midst of a complex and politically contentious attempt to acquire Warner Bros., so their legal department is probably pretty busy right now. This could be the ideal time for Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC to strike back!
178 replies to “A little Rex goes a long way, that’s all I’m saying”
RMMD:
“And with his permanent eyepatch in place, Dad’s now practicing his ‘AARGHs’ and ‘Ahoy, Mateys!’ in preparation for this year’s upcoming ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’ on September 19, 2026!”
Mary Worth:
Decorating his fingernails cherry red and flipping through a glossy, Ian “take[s] a walk on the wild side” in today’s first panel, to quote Lou Reed.
Mary Worth:
In today’s second panel, Ian embraces and practices the “crazed look” in preparation for his lead role in the Santa Royale Players’ forthcoming production of Rasputin: The Musical.
RMMD – Panel 1: And now for another installment of “Is She Flirting With Me?” Panel 2: The answer, once again, was “NO!”
MW: Ian’s holding Blam! magazine, a glossy dedicated to blowing up exotic birds in remote locations. “That albatross really had it coming!” He chuckles.
(And kudos on his beautiful nails.)
HEADS UP: don’t read coming vs before fi st cup of coffee. This happened to me–
– FG: :this hot hail” becomes “this hot hell”
– GOOMER becomes GROOMER, on way to Mary Worth
– MW: when depicting evil or insanity, show whites over the pupils
– PHANTOM: when depicting good pedagogy, show pupil’s rear being rescued by teacher
RwO: laugh out loud relatable
6CX: doesnt work. Calendar I checked said in 2020, Jan. 1 was on a Wed. But then, this was B.C. ( before coffee)
MW. I, for one, am calling BS on Ian wearing a t-shirt to bed. That’s a man who dons bespoke flannel PJs in his family’s Tartan clan pattern every night, probably humming “Flower of Scotland” as he cinches the waste and buttons the top. Unless the bird shat on them too, in which case, once again, yay Sunny.
It’s actually LAM! magazine, dedicated to runaway fugitives. Toby is going to snatch Sunny and Run Toby Run.
FC: “Fiat money isn’t really money at all, Mommy. It’s just paper! [rips the bills to pieces] Where’s the gold, Mommy? Where’s the silver?”
GT A bit confused about why Gil’s marriage to Beth means Keri gets a car, not so much unfortunately by father-of-the-year Gil’s poor handling of Jami’s concerns – my kids are arguing, I guess that means it’s impossible that Jami has any *real* concern to get out into the open and *deal* with (although not likely by calling off the wedding on the say-so of a kid)
MW: Now I’m going to spend way too much time wondering how Ian is going to weaponize a tree skirt.
RMMD: Rex will NOT have his surgery dismissed as ” no big deal.” It’s a big deal. A REAL big deal. An earth-stopping deal. A deal like no other.
Sure, the glossy magazine Toby is reading is probably supposed to be GLAM!, devoted to nostalgia for the Glam Rock craze of the 1970s, though I prefer to think it is SLAM!, devoted to nostalgia for the poetry slam crazelet of the 1990s.
@Activist:
On Calendars having the days fall on the same day of the year : the last year we had that did that was 2015, not 2020. Get ready for two Friday the Thirteenth in a row, btw (not consecutively by day or by week, but by month. At least Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday!)
GA: We’re going to get an update to “Pibgorn” before they reveal the damn present, aren’t we?
@Acilius: Are we sure it’s not CLAM!, the premier lifestyle and advice magazine for getting pompous axxes to just please be quiet, please?
Crankshaft: “A little annoying” had better be some kind of meta humor, Ed.
BG&SS: Both bottles are Ol’ Doc Uncle’s Surefire Cure, a mix of laudanum and heroin. It doesn’t matter where you put either of them.
H&L: “Say, can I drive, Hi?”
“Sure! But what’s so interesting about my car?”
“I don’t have to blow below an 08 to start it.”
FC: Jeffy’s been listening to Thel’s Soupy Sales records, hasn’t he?
GT: Have we ever seen a car in Gil Thorp before?
@MKay: re: MW – yeah I’ve already googled harmful things to parrots but nope, adding a popcorn garland isn’t going to be toxic, and I don’t see how the tree is going to get avocado, metals, or chocolate into the bird. I am now envisioning Ian grabbing the thing like a bat and trying to swat Sunny with it…
Mary Worth: I believe Toby is holding GLAM! magazine, dedicated to T.Rex, early Bowie, the New York Dolls and macaws, but I repeat myself.
MW: Looks like Ian’s parrot rage has morphed into…maniacal Christmas horniness? I’m having a hard time processing exactly what’s going on here but I think Toby would be wise to keep her eyes on her magazine and not engage.
RMMD: It’s nice of this strip to let it’s readership know that the conflict in the upcoming storyline is No Big Deal, so it you want to tune out for a couple weeks, go for it! Believe you me, nothing is going to happen here!
Garfield: I’ll give this strip one thing: this is the most catlike I’ve ever seen Garfield be. Eating Lasagna, hating Mondays, drinking coffee? Not cat stuff.
Also Mary Worth, and special for Mr. S. Scrotum: Meanwhile, CLAM! magazine continues its multi-part series on beards or no-beards?
RMMD: Rex will start feeling old so he will take up dangerous sports, starting with Pickleball and end with climbing Mt Everest.
GT: I feel like the appropriate time to have this conversation would be before you propose.
MW: Back in the days when Mary actually contributed to these plots instead of getting off on the dysfunction from a distance, this would be about the time when she’d tell Ian to lock up the stuff he doesn’t want shat on or shredded, and then she’d tell Toby to keep the damn parrot in the cage when she’s not home to supervise it. But Mary doesn’t do that anymore, so how is this going to wrap up? Will Ian hear Sunny curse him out in Spanish, realize that the parrot has been smuggled, and call Bird ICE?
Also also Mary Worth, because I seem to be stuck on it this morning: Get with it, Ian. Surely a man of your learning recognizes that today is the Feast of the Epiphany, which officially ends the Christmas season? It’s also the official opening to the Mardi Gras season in New Orleans, which leaves open the possibility of new and wonderful forms of cheer (Sazeracs for everyone! Beads for Toby!) and parrot-offing (Sazerac for the bird!).
Garfield: Eh, much like Enron, the success of Paws, Inc. was always based on corporate fraud (probably not true) and swindling old people (definitely true).
Daddy Daze: And how big is the shoe? A shoe can range from “as small as a doll’s shoe” to “as big as Italy”.
Non-snarky comment on Rex Morgan, M.D.: You may be correct about the highway deaths. I couldn’t get my surgeries done fast enough because it seemed like I was about a month from no longer being able to drive safely. That was legit terrifying. Let’s see if they follow up with the 1-2 month period of recovery and figuring out how much correction your vision still needs, though.
MW – I think Toby’s reading a magazine dedicated to René Descartes. “I think we should take the Christmas tree down tomorrow, therefore I am.”
Six Chix: It is not right. You need a 2015 calendar. Next time, check http://www.whencanireusethiscalendar.com.
Dang, now you’re making me wonder if Toby has a bearded clam or if it’s hardwood floors down there.
Meanwhile, in Family Circlejerk: Jeffy, you don’t want to know where those dollar bills have been.
Rex Morgan is getting some real pissy-face competition from G. *^&@#^@! Thorp today.
Please just get a cage. Please, please (sobbing)…
RMMD-“We on the other hand hated it when dad was wearing the eye patch he kept pretending he was a pirate.”
Garfield-Not pictured is the bloodstain from when Garfield mauled Trixie for the sunbeam.
MW-Ian just said the quiet part out loud.
FC-That’s what the men at the club tip Mommy.
Okay, Rex Morgan M.D., I get it. The medical stuff is boring. You win. Let’s go back to the hipster weirdos. But not Buck. I would rather sit through several weeks of Rex whining about his cataracts than a single panel of Buck.
Rex Morgan, MD: I love that Rex is giving, um, Nurse the blankest stare he’s ever blanked! “No big deal? But this is about me!”
I vote for replacing that dour Scot Ian with Scott Ian, who also has out-of-the-ordinary facial hair and also loves much but almost certainly a better attitude toward animals.
@Tonio: I mean Scott Ian also loves music.
CLAM! Magazine, packed to the covers with pictures of serene beaches, relaxation advice from health gurus, and simple quizzes and puzzles. The magazine you need when you need to CLAM! down.
RMMD — Rex spending more time at the clinic is the least wanted “boss-starts-coming-to-the-office” occurrence since that time that Tony Soprano had to sit at the trash company.
MW — Given Ian’s penchant for Scottish capes and kilts, along with those scarlet nails, I thought it might be “Flam” magazine. . .
MW – Ian’s white whale is a colorful talking bird. Call me fish meal….
Garfield – Oh sunbeam – thank you for the magic of my solar powered lasagna oven….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Flash Gordon: If anyone was waiting for a good time to start reading this comic, now is the time. Starting with yesterday’s strip, it looks like we’re about to get the origin story for Flash.
I highly encourage you to give it a spin, I’m convinced it’s the best thing on the comics page right now.
@Hammster: Oh, it’s *so* much worse. They *have* a cage, Toby bought the “big” one. But she’s decided the parrot gets to decide whether to flit in or out (or she has no idea how to operate a latch door, take your pick)
MW: I didn’t expect Toby to be a reader of FLAM!, the magazine devoted to basic drum rubrics, but here we are. She must have hidden depths–very, very well-hidden depths.
RMMD: It’s so nice that Rex Morgan takes the time to reassure its readers that everything is perfectly fine, there’s nothing to worry about and nothing interesting will ever, ever happen.
@Charterstone: Dune: It’s ELAM!, revealing Toby’s unsuspected interest in the Bronze Age archaeology of the Middle East.
@Lauralot: re: GT Yes, but sadly we live in a society that has decided proposing a hopefully-permanent change to your family life as a surprise to one partner is delightfully romantic as opposed to sociopathic insanity, so taking into account any other family members is well beyond hoping for
FC: “Mommy, don’t you have any dimes? Bills are hard to swallow.”
RMMD: Why does Rex look so pissy? It’s like he was hoping cataract surgery would be a big deal. Maybe leave him blind for months, or be so agonizing that he’d be unable to think about anything but the pain. Either way, it would be a good excuse not to have to interact with Buck for a while.
Garfield: So… it’s a cold winter day inside the house, but it’s sunny and warm outside? What? What is going on here? It should be impossible to be confused by Garfield. You shouldn’t even have to think to understand a Garfield strip. And yet here I am.
@Ken: Or one of those ‘Special Edition’ magazines you see at the checkout line at Target dedicated to the life and times of bug-eyed character actor Jack Elam.
MW: “I could use the extra Holiday cheer. This week….or forever!” I guess the only question left unanswered is whether it’s suicide or murder/suicide.
@Ken: No, it’s FLAM!, a rebrand of an old title that caters to the needs of flim-flam artists.
C’shaft: *pauses, turns up volume*
DT: So, did Minty get his nickname after he was born with freakish candy eyes, or was he given that name at birth and decided to lean into it to a horrifying degree?
Dustin: No, no, Dustdad, if you want to imply that Dustin must simultaneously be himself and act in ways that are completely at odds with his natural personality, that’s a paradox. A non sequitur is a statement which bears absolutely no relation to the statements or evidence before it, for example if you had concluded by saying “I am a miserable failure of a lawyer and I have never satisfied a woman on any level.”
GT: Dang, I didn’t know M.C. Escher did automobile interiors. “Kids, don’t make me turn this car around and/or keep going in the same direction!”
Luann: “I mean, look at us–the only reason we’ve been together for so long is because we don’t spend a whole lot of time together!”
MW: It helps with the story if you read the word balloons with the proper accents.
Scotland born Ian pronounces parrot: PAHR-it” with a slightly rolled ‘r’ while Toby pronounces it like a mountain-timezone yokel: Pear-rat.
Phantom:
Captain Pepper: “Who’s Ol’ Leadbottom talking to, anyway?”
Captain Salt: “Han, I think.”
Captain Pepper: “Oh, Han.” (Brief silence) “You bang her yet?”
Captain Salt: “Sure.” (Brief silence) “Not much good in the sack, just lies there like a cadaver.”
Captain Pepper: “Yeah, I know.”
MW: It’s Lame! magazine, designed for dullards like Toby who are generally unobservant enough to not notice the title’s typo.
Mary Worth: Toby could also be reading Slam! magazine, a quarterly devoted to poetry slams and people closing doors really hard (and the occasional feature involving teenage girls privately insulting other teenage girls). Or it could be Clam!, a scientific journal about mollusks that sells remarkably well because some people think it’s hardcore porn. Or it could be Elam!, the official publication of the Jack Elam Fan Club (the latest issue has an exhaustive examination of the sitcom Struck by Lightning, in which Elam played Frankenstein’s monster, following last issue’s article on The Texas Wheelers, featuring an interview with costar Mark Hamill).
@Schroduck: I think Rex wanted everyone to fall over themselves in worry for him. But instead they’re treating a routine procedure as a routine procedure, which is a massive insult to Rex, the main character of the universe.
MW: In panel two, Ian’s rage has caused all his facial features to contract inward. He should probably see a doctor about that.
I’m blind in one eye and have a cataract in the other. Although it’s a simple and commonly-performed surgery, I’m avoiding it, since if something goes wrong, I’m screwed. This is just my roundabout way of saying, “Fuck Rex Morgan!”
Six Chix – That’s the same thing Xunise’s editor says every time she submits a cartoon.
MW: The poor dope is expecting Sunny to instinctively nest in the tree. He’s going to be in for a rude awakening when Sunny uses Iris’s hair as a nest, and Iris is completely copacetic with this.
RMMD: Already, this is more entertaining that Crankshaft’s foray into cataract surgery.
HnL: Finally, Trixie will get to unleash the pent-up violence she’s been harboring in her own strip!
GT: ”Beth, the marriage is off. My thirteen-year-old boy hates you.”
”Gil, thirteen-year-old boys hate everything. Except pepperoni on pizza, video games, and spying on me when I take a shower.”
@Hibbleton: Thel – Bil’s are hard to swallow….
RMMD: “You’ll spend more time at the clinic until you recover from cataract surgery?”
“Yes. Our patients don’t really deserve a doctor who can visually identify symptoms”
Ian is rather bellicose and fixated on a non-Biblical holiday with pagan symbols like Christmas. He doesn’t really deserve the Amish beard!
@Dmsilev:
No, it’s CAPITAINE FLAM!, the french language adaptation of the japanese anime adaptation of Captain Future.
Luann: Just wait until Phil has to drop everything to take care of one of the residents who keeled over. The whining from Luann will intensify!
CS: Now that he knows it’s annoying, he’s sure to keep it around.
9CL: With parents like those, who needs generational trauma.
MW: There really is a SLAM! magazine but I can’t see Toeby as a hip-hop loving basketball fan.
Unless she’s into ridiculously overpriced shoes meant as fashion statements rather than something you wear on the court.
Blondie-Dithers is just gloating about the abuse he inflicts on Dagwood.
Perhaps Toby is a member of the fan club for the Tomahawk Land Attack Missile?
Luann-Luann has been faking her happy times with Phil.
FC: Why do you have to be this way, Family Circus?!?
Dustin: Even Dustin hates himself. See what you’ve done, you monsters?!?
@taig: Ugh, I meant Toby.
MW: It’s Olam!, the premiere magazine for discussions of eternity. This also shows Toby is Jewish.
MW-Ian is plotting to lure Sunny into the tree and then lighting it on fire.
RMMD – So if he wasn’t recovering from surgery, Rex would do his job LESS?
@Charterstone: Dune: Or perhaps ULAM!, devoted to Stanislaw Ulam’s contributions to mathematics and nuclear weaponry.
Don Abundio, translated:
“So many medals! What are they all for?”
“This one’s for knot tying, that one’s for fire skills…”
“And why do you wear them?”
“Because without them I feel naked!”
Will Ian learn that there is something beyond mere Christmas, like the joy of having a bird companion? Find out in this version of Christmas Carol if Dickens had been hit in the head by a mallet!
@Acilius: Nice! Is that a imprint of the Utne Press?
Sunbeam Products, now (after a bankruptcy & long series of ownership changes) a subsidiary of Newell Brands (fka Newell Rubbermaid), was one of the many companies that Arthur Andersen failed to notice was engaged in massive fraud. Newell has been making curtain rods since 1916.
Which means that if Garfield hits a rough spot for stealing the Sunbeam name, we’ll know by seeing Jon getting his cuppa from a properly branded Mr. Coffee,
Toby is brushing up on her drumming techniques by reading FLAM! magazine. She’s thinking, “Oh, you madman Gene Krupa, how I miss your paradiddles!”
Mary Worth: Toby is reading Bedlam!, the only glossy magazine for and about the criminally insane. Coined for London’s historic Bethlem (“Bedlam”) Royal Hospital, an asylum that first opened in 1247, the very word has become synonymous with mental illness and general chaos. So I’d say Toby is very well aware of what’s currently going on in Ian’s twisty noggin — and now she’s trying to decide what archaic treatment to send him for, from The Madness of King George frozen-waterboarding to the whole One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest deal. Either way, she and Sunny will live a long, happy life together.
MW-Can we hurry up and get to the part where Ian delusionally wanders the street hurling people into traffic.
DT: Nice to see Tracy not take offense when other people wave their pistols in his face!
GT: A little late to discuss any objections from the kids Gil. Remember those time outs you never called – you can’t take them home. The hidden message is the Keri and Jami are in cahoots to get a car of this deal. Vaguely threatening to oppose the nuptials unless certain terms are met.
JP: So is the JP universe a C (complicated) and NC (not complicated) one. And is C=NC like P=NP?
MW: Clearly the look in Ian’s face suggests the wheels are turning in his mind. Not a high speed turbine wheel, not a planetary gear system, but rather a cam system which can only go from one cliché to another. Is Ian going to introduce a snake in the tree?
Phantom: Poor colonel. Is he become the General Halftrack of the Jungle Patrol?
RMMD: True story. When I had cataract surgery on my second eye, I warned them that they had to knock me out right away or I would start to panic. But when they wheeled me in, the anesthesia person was delayed. So they began immobilizing my head, and taping back my eyelid while I was awake. Before long I was shouting “I don’t want to be here!” Which is pretty much my reaction to Rex Morgan, now that I think about it.
FC – He can’t find Thel’s purse full of quarters. Everybody gave her one.
Frazz – Maybe the insufferable little genius wouldn’t fall if he wore boots. You know, dressed for the weather he should be familiar with.
Pluggers – Pluggers grill outside because their stove is piled with cereal boxes and pasta boxes that won’t fit in the pantry because of the boxes of canned pet food they bought because they had a coupon.
Sherman’s Lagoon – This reminded me that, sadly, the Girl Scouts discontinued those French toast cookies.
Would PARROT FANCY magazine be too silly even for Mary’s Worst standards?
MW — “annoying avian housemate” nobody, no true Scotsman, nor any real academic would talk that way. Nobody. Any sentient human would be more like: that goddam parrot. I’m sure others here have already noted this.
I rarely comment, since folks here are quicker and funnier — but as so often noted with, MW, annoying is the norm but not so much as K.. May uses the word and sometimes I lose restraint. That parrot is a scream. Ludicrous, of course, but still…
@Peanut Gallery:
Estoy muy preocupado por esta mujer.
@Voshkod: Clam down to the max!
MW: I’m pretty sure Clam would feature Sapphic porn.
@Violet: For the sake my sanity, I always tell myself that the men in this strip are clueless dweebs and that the women can easily handle them.
@Peanut Gallery: Uh oh. Sounds like Max put his talleywhacker somewhere he shouldn’t have.
@Peanut Gallery: Yo tambien. Otherwise the strip would just be an endless string of Jeffrey Epstein-style rape “jokes.”
”Say, Admiral, I was just about to ‘dive’ into the ‘Secretarial Pool.’ Care to join me?”
“Only if it’s ‘head first,’ Mr. Abernathy! Ho ho ho.”
…hey, I should be writing these.
@Lauralot: No, you don’t understand. Rex has a man-cataract, so as with a man-cold he needs a high level of care, attention, and sympathy.
RMMD: Yesterday we had Gil as a slightly looped Dean Martin. Today he’s Rex Morgan at his pissyfaciest. Maybe tomorrow he’ll be a classic pipe smoking Fred MacMurray.
RMMD: Rex continues to ponder the situation: “Then again, who needs eyes to do a prostate exam?”
6C – Xunise can’t count.
@richardf8:
6C – Xunise can’t count.
How well would you count if Bannerman stuck a fork in your head?
@Situation Normal:
Ian is beginning his transformation into Dr. Smith from Lost in Space
https://m.youtube.com/shorts/GmLqGEAIBjo
Should the puppy and the otter be shipped as Potter?
Wait, does this mean Garfield will be half the headliner at UFC White House? Vs… I dunno Cheburashka, maybe?
Does Paramount own Cheburashka?
I’ll be looking into this as it develops.
@Human-eared Dragon: Ian is beginning his transformation into Dr. Smith from Lost in Space
__________________________
Next Ian calls Sunny a “Bubble headed budgie”.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Meanwhile, in Family Circlejerk: Jeffy, you don’t want to know where those dollar bills have been.
“Mommy, why do these dollar bills all smell of desperation, pheromones, and self-loathing?”
@Guillermo el chiclero: re: GT: Panels two and three are terrifying. I was going to say today we were getting Lon Chaney, Man of a Thousand Faces, and these were two Lon scrapped for being entirely too grotesque.
In any case, Fred MacMurray will be a relief. As long as it’s not Double Indemnity Fred MacMurray or Caine Mutiny Fred MacMurray or The Apartment Fred MacMurray. Fuck those guys and pass the Flubber.
GT: I like this new artist but they really don’t seem to know how word balloons work.
@Peanut Gallery:
Quite so! Also, perhaps the chap is turning into a werewolf, which would be a fun direction for the strip.
The Familliar Mucus: “Mommy, that nice guy on tv told me to send him these green pieces of paper! Can I have a stamp?”
LUANN: Will Phil be able to stop Luann from complaining? Will Warriors win NBA championship? Stay tuned.
CS: glad Mr. Red Bird survived window crashes. Not looking good for Cardinals next season
FG: for those who came late, back story yesterday and today.
@GarrisonSkunk: Didn’t we see Wilbur reading Fish Fancy (or something similarly titled) once?
@Peanut Gallery: “So many medals! What are they all for?”
_____________________________
“Well I got this one for exposing Captain Horatio Crunch as a fraud and valor stealer!”
@Peanut Gallery: Thanks; I was hoping someone might remember that deep cut.
@Activist: re: FG: Luckily, Flash always packs along a personal parachute when he flies coach (along with a salami and provolone hoagie). Meanwhile, Dale is so turned on she’s already looking for a flat patch of nice, soft grass. (And hoping Flash offers her a bite of the hoagie afterwards)
@Activist:
LUANN: Will Phil be able to stop Luann from complaining? Will Warriors win NBA championship? Stay tuned.
Both are long shots but the former is of the “Leicester City winning the Premier League” variety
@Banana Jr. 6000: @GarrisonSkunk: Didn’t we see Wilbur reading Fish Fancy (or something similarly titled) once?
_____________________
Quite possible. I know there is (or WAS ) A Dog Fancy, Horse Fancy, and Cat Fancy magazine. I’m just waiting for someone to say there really IS a Parrot Fancy Magazine in existence.
@Ukulele Ike: “Where in heaven’s name did you get the idea to use bleach for that condition?”
“It was on the CDC web site!”
Mary Worth – Ian has Sanpaku eyes. Japanese tradition states that if the whites above the iris shows that is a sign of mental illness, including psychopathy. Sanpaku eyes are pseudoscientific, but if this leads to Ian locked in a padded room, endlessly repeating Sunny’s “HA HA HA” laugh, I am willing to suspend disbelief.
Rex Morgan, MD – It’s hard to tell if Rex’s look in panel 2 is due to normal utter disdain, or a side-effect of trying to make sense of the blurry image in front of him.
Garfield – If you’re struggling to heat your house, burning Garfield strips to stay warm is better than reading them.
@Ukulele Ike: 104: The was thinking of the “My Three Sons” Fred MacMurray, but the Bub era with William Frawley, and not the Uncle Charley era with William Demarest.
@GarrisonSkunk: “Jean LaFoote wasn’t even a real pirate!”
@Philip:
On burning Garfield : he does make a very lovely fire (see November 8, 1985)
Curtis: I mean, you could also be poor and dying from a terminal disease. I’m not saying either is great, but I feel like you’d be even less happy in that situation.
DT: Mike Curtis curses autocorrect for changing his e-mail to Manning into a request for a Minty Mystery.
JP: The Judge Parker promise: No matter how boring you think our stories are when they’re happening, we guarantee you’ll find it even more boring when the characters spend a week talking about what just happened!
OTF: It’s hard to overstate just how much this isn’t a version of the trolley problem in any way whatsoever.
Pluggers: A Plugger still grills out even when it’s below freezing. And there’s no-one else around. Just staring at the grill with a vacant smile, thinking “Once all the burgers are cooked, my friends will come round to share them.” Pluggers need help.
S4th: “I didn’t see Jackie or Bettina over the holidays except in the Sunday strips, which didn’t really fit into continuity and I guess we’ve decided aren’t canon. I did see my late father, but magical though that was, there’s like a sixty percent chance it was a hallucination?”
Six Chex And A Cat Named Mr Spock In Search Of A Punchline:”Brain and brain!What is brain?!?”
Dennis Minus Menace: “Why can’t Mom cook as well as Arby’s?”
@But What Do I Know?: LUANN: Will Phil be able to stop Luann from complaining? Will Warriors win NBA championship? Stay tuned.
Both are long shots but the former is of the “Leicester City winning the Premier League” variety
But they did win it (which I just learned today thanks to an episode of Only Connect), so despite its being a major long shot (thanks, Wikipedia), it’s more likely than “Luann stops complaining” by a factor of [divide-by-zero error].
@Horace Broon:
On the Fastrack : ….Like, MAYBE if it was *Ms Trellis* diverting credit away from the deserving onto the biggest whiners to prevent them quitting the company, there’d be more of an equivalence?
************
On Pluggers grilling outside : the non-insane reason to BBQ your burgers and steaks outside, even when it’s below zero degrees (BOTH scales!), is if you have absolutely no way to prevent the smoke from reaching the fire alarm when indoors.
But Pluggers are flat-out saying they just go out and grill, even when the weather is NOT suited for it, because they love their BBQ so damn much.
@Anonymous: Pluggers – but there’s nothing wrong with grilling in the freezing cold (doesn’t everyone?/winnipegger), just shovel a path from the appropriate door and bundle up. The grill’s heat even helps you stay comfy, as opposed to in the summer! If they’d shown him doing it in a blizzard or a downpour, that would be unsuitable weather.
@Ukulele Ike: Those Fred MacMurrays are my favorite Fred MacMurrays.
I watched “The Caine Mutiny” the other day.
Bogart’s deteriorating Queeg was terrific but the best is at the end, where a drunk Jose Ferrer just lacerates MacMurray and Van Heflin for their betrayal of their shell-shocked captain.
@UncleJeff: Sorry.
Van Johnson, not Van Heflin. Or Van Wilder.
Much like Queeg, I was relying on my memory and needed specific questions from my attorney.
Anyway.
Great movie.
@UncleJeff: Oh.
And isn’t it funny how the snide, conniving Fred MacMurray of the movies became the wholesome father-figure of “My Three Sons?”
The “sons’” stories of ol’ Fred’s work rules are hysterical.
I know I’m a Weber fanboy, but if today’s Slylock doesn’t make you grin, I’m putting an APB out on your soul. No pressure!
@UncleJeff: Pssst. I was the one who ate the strawberries.
They were delicious.
Rex Morgan – No Big Deal! The gritty reboot. This one doesn’t check to make sure the mail went in the box!
@Ukulele Ike: I already knew that.
Geometric logic.
If you want to do anything about it, I’ll be outside.
I’m drunker than you are, so it’ll be a fair fight.
Don’t Flash Gordon: “But what happened to the Stay Puft ™ marshmallow levitating over your in-flight magazine?”
BLONDIE: Well, at least Mr. Dithers has given up throttling his employee. Baby steps…
DT: “Uh, no thanks, Breathless can have mine. Popping some chewing gum will really accentuate the “cheap tart” look she’s going for tonight.”
@UncleJeff: @Ukulele Ike: Those Fred MacMurrays are my favorite Fred MacMurrays.
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What about the Fred Mac Murray who stole uranium from the Ricardos on “The Lucy Desi Comedy Hour”?
So what Josh is saying is “Just A Spoonful Of Rex Makes The Medicine Go Down”?
H&L: By some crazy mixup, two comic strips received the wrong scripts? “What?” Trixie tells the Hi and Lois director. “Kick Dawg off the counter? No way! He’s vengeful and remembers everything!”
MW: What glossy magazine is Toby reading here? Slam!? (“Bringing you the latest in mosh pit styles and news”) Bedlam!? (“The world is a madhouse! Find one that suits you”) Clam!? (I refuse to speculate.)
RMMD: “I hear your spending more time with us at the clinic?” Michelle uptalks. “Happy, girl, make sure you sound happy about it,” she says to herself.
@CanuckDownSouth: Both “Pluggers” and “Rose is Rose” did winter grilling in the snow jokes today.
Maybe “Clam!” magazine is for fanatics of the Land-Clams that hunt around Charterstone.
Toby couldn’t decide between that or Window Eel monthly.
@Will: FG: I’m convinced it’s the best thing on the comics page right now.
You’re darn tootin’, or a darn Teuton. But where did Flash grab that parachute? Wasn’t he on a commercial flight? And since when do sports ball heroes take the redeye to a match? On the other hand when is this set? If it’s in the 30s, there might be parachutes on airplanes. And Flash’s sport was polo…was his horse on the plane too?
@GarrisonSkunk: Got me thinking, in an episode of the Navy-based law drama J.A.G
The protagonist Rabb was looking up records for a Naval Officer from 60 years ago.
Someone asks: You have records that go that far back?
Rabb: We have Popeye’s records on file.
I’m probably not the first to say this, but you don’t have to spend ANY time in a hospital to recover from cataract surgery, unless something went wrong. I had both eyes done in the same day and went home to my place with blurred vision. In the morning, I woke up with better vision than I had experienced for decades.
@Will: A little effort goes a long way.
HONEST TO GOODNESS EFFORT!
My optometrist told me last year that I was just starting to develop cataracts, so I’m finding this Rex Morgan arc reassuring, and I hate it.
Blondie: Dithers’s “secretary” is actually an undercover liability attorney. Dagwood is too spineless to sue when the boss manhandles him, but if Dithers gets in the habit it could lead to trouble.
C-Shaft: So annoying that you wonder why anyone would install it in the first place. In that sense it’s classic Crankshaft.
DT: Minty’s henchman can see—see well enough to aim a gun, at least—so apparently he hasn’t actually replaced his eyes with a couple of Starlight Mints. I guess it’s just a pair of weird and colorful contact lenses, then. Which make his eyes visibly bulge, so as Neo-Chicago goons go, he’s cooperative to a fault.
Dustin: Why do I think that Dustdad is accustomed to seeing people throw their heads back in grimaces of pain when he speaks to them?
GT: In his last appearance, Jami appeared to be going for an Eminem kind of thing. Guest artist Jason is just drawing him as Dennis the Menace, which feels more right.
Luann: In Phil’s place I would have kept it a simple “no.”
MT: Which phone accessories are de rigueur in New York’s outer boroughs? I guess that’s the kind of wild nature fact that the denizens of Lost Forest are here to address now.
@Philip:
Ha-ha, yep, that’s Ian all right. That’s Ian all over!
Maybe Beatty thinks that by constantly reassuring us that Rex Morgan will contain no drama or suspense whatsoever, he’s doing some kind of foreshadowing? But that only works if the reader has any reason to believe the author is misdirecting them. It’s like having the characters gesture vigorously at the gun on the mantlepiece with every line, when the whole audience can see it’s a Super Soaker.
Late Thread Cuisine: Tired of serving liver and onions? You may not be after you see this recipe.
@GarrisonSkunk: #114: There is, or was, a bird fancier magazine, for aficionados of parrots, cocktatoos, budgies, etc.
@Baja Gaijin:
Have tasted something along these lines, it’s great! Liver is wonderful, everybody, try it!
@151 A Grave Mind: I’ve tried liver. I wouldn’t eat it with your tongue.
@Baja Gaijin: Sorry, no, nothing can convince me to eat liver, not even Heather Locklear.
@Baja Gaijin:
The trick to never tiring of liver and onions is to never have liver and onions.
@Baja Gaijin: I love most offal, particularly kidneys and sweetbreads and tripe — and chicken liver — but never been a beef liver fan.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Wow, it’s been months since I’ve looked at Mark Trail. The art has certainly deteriorated, and it wasn’t at a very high level to begin with.
@White Rabbit: I remember my youthful days playing college polo. Damn horses kept drowning.
@Bob Tice: In today’s second panel, Ian embraces and practices the “crazed look” in preparation for his lead role in the Santa Royale Players’ forthcoming production of Rasputin: The Musical.
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Ian truly nails the hit song “There’s Just No Disputing Rasputin!”
@GarrisonSkunk: Never saw that episode.
What would Lucy be doing with uranium?
Of course, Desi was one of those Cubans allowed to sneak into our country.
What if Desi was a Commie spy?
The kind who would collaborate with a scoundrel like Fred MacMurray.
Looks like a job for Kristi Noem and Her Masked Commie Hunters.
@A Grave Mind: I know I’m a Weber fanboy,
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So, were you the one who drew the upper frontals on Sunday’s “HOW TO DRAW CASSANDRA CAT”?
@UncleJeff: What would Lucy be doing with uranium?
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She found out it makes a powerful cocktail when mixed with Vitameatavegimon™.
@GarrisonSkunk: “Feeling ‘depleted’? Maybe it’s your uranium!”
Toby is clearly reading “CLAM” magazine, the weekly scandal-sheet devoted to shellfish and their hijinks. You can even make out a little bit of shell at the top of the cover. She’s probably trying to figure out whether she can stock the bathtub with barnacles to further torment her increasingly unhinged husband.
@Baja Gaijin: Cuisine: Liver – this causes unwanted flashbacks to when I was an anemic child and had to eat liver occasionally to build up my blood. I hated that stuff. However, I never dreamed that liver could be much worse than the version I ate. Liver with Mexican seasoning? That’s a crime.
@153 taig: SNERK!
@154 Anonymous: Preach it!
@155 Ukulele Ike: It’s
awfuloffal, for sure.@162 I speak Jive: Wouldn’t taking iron tablets been better as they absorb better than liver, that’s barfed up before its iron content can be absorbed?
@UncleJeff: #157: They were prospecting for uranium ore in the Nevada desert. When they thought they hit paydirt the Ricardos, Mertzes, and MacMurray got greedy and began a race to the nearest town to stake their claim. Now what MacMurray, who in real life made a fortune investing in SoCal real estate, would need to prospect for uranium ore.
@Ukulele Ike: #155: My dad liked fried liver and onions if done right but he said what the army mess cooks did with it was to bake the whole thing like a pot roast, then slice it up.
@Harmless little bunny: @Peanut Gallery: Never ask Marvin if he Poops out at parties.
@Baja Gaijin: @162 I speak Jive: Wouldn’t taking iron tablets been better
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As long as they didn’t rust on the way to your stomach.
@UncleJeff: Agreed, I’ve only seen it once and still remember it. I actually came across a copy of the book not too long ago. It was interesting to see just how much plot happens before the start of the movie, and how much comes after the movie’s end. I always felt some sympathy for Van Johnson’s character, who meant well by his crewmembers but allowed himself to be put in an impossible position by MacMurray’s chicken-hearted backstabber.
@Little Guy: It’s at GA moments like this that I truly long for a giant flaming meteorite.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
“Shut up, I’m rich! I’m richer than all this new Hollywood trash! I’ve got a million dollars. Own three blocks downtown. I’ve got oil in Bakersfield, pumping, pumping, pumping….”
@Ukulele Ike: It kind of feels like it’s been a long April Fool’s Day.
@Ukulele Ike: I was very amused when I was informed by the TCM movie host that while Fred MacMurray fans didn’t mind him being a murderer in DOUBLE INDEMNITY, they were deeply outraged by his being a cheating lying dirtbag in THE APARTMENT and wrote many letters to say so. Then I rewatched THE APARTMENT after not having seen it for many years, and yeah, I get it.
Ian is reading Toby’s latest issue of Kablam! to refresh himself on the sequence where “Action League Now!” battled a parrot.
MW: Because it is fairly late at night, I wish to point out that back on Saturday night, 1/3/26, right around midnight, I predicted that the current Sunny story would be resolved by Sunny saving Ian’s life. I will happily yield to any Mudge who can lay a claim to the same prediction earlier than that. Otherwise, I think this old Christmas tree is going to be the Instrument Of Fate that allows me to do a happy dance in the near future. It would be a happier dance if Sunny allowed Ian to die while cackling about pompous axxs, but we can’t have everything.
@Poteet: I meant Sunny cackling, not Ian. But either would work.
@Hibbleton: Bills are hard to swallow.”
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That’s what Thel said.
MT: I appreciate the dignity and hunting prowess of the Foreground Great Blue Heron and the effective acting of the Foreground Frog, which contrast nicely with the antics of the humans. I will never forget this strange depiction of a Texas flood. But I will try hard.
If Garfield can steal from Hi & Lois, then Mary Worth should steal from Garfield. Fatten up that parrot with lasagna and see how long it lives.
@Poteet, TCM: It’s amusing that, thanks to “My Three Sons”, Fred MacMurray is more known as the genial widow father. It’s a shock to watch his movie roles.
Oh, and you can’t leave out “The Caine Mutiny”.