If Alexander took his place, would anyone even notice
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Blondie, 3/26/26
Every once in a while, you get a hint that Alexander is recapitulating many of his father’s most distinctive traits. This makes sense, as the two are obviously genetically identical, and I assume Alexander was created by some sort of asexual budding process. Still, how does Dagwood feel about all this? Well, not great, if his facial expression in the last panel is any indication.
Wizard of Id, 3/26/26
Imagine if you were a second-generation comics creator, gifted with one of the shrinking number of viable newspaper comics out there, but feeling increasingly uninspired and desperate to find some way out of your situation. I’m not saying I know that’s what’s happening with the Wizard of Id, but I am saying that if you were trying to do the comics version of suicide by cop, then inviting a lawsuit from JK Rowling would be a good way to go about it.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/26/26
“I’m sick and tired of all this roots country bullshit!” you’re probably saying. “I want to get this strip’s focus back to its roots: contemporary medical issues!” Well, OK, buckle up for “Rex has pivoted his clinic to mostly writing GLP-1 scrips for anyone who asks and then directing them to a dodgy grey-market compounding pharmacy that he gets kickbacks from.”
36 replies to “If Alexander took his place, would anyone even notice”
MW: Mary pauses to reflect while doing her dailies;
“That H___y is such a fool! I’d like to smash this dish of hot glop right in his face!”
RMMD: These panels do *not* line up with the dialogue. I think the original lines were something like this:
P1: Mae Mae, you’re gorgeous! The purtiest gal I’ve seen this side of Wanda’s diner! What time does your shift end?
P2: I mean, I’d take you to dinner first! Wanda’s makes a mean meatloaf platter!
P3: Gee, is it gettin’ warm in here? Well, maybe some other time, adios!
GT: Again, fighting the urge to be an armchair philosopher/general/standard-issue crank and break the ‘no politics’ rule…
Wizard of Id:
“Eventually, he came out of his shell!”
RMMD-“A good doctor” Clearly Mud isn’t talking about Rex.
RMMD:
“In fact, I’ve been so successful at my weight loss regimen that I think I’m going to do an album of covers called ‘Slim White Man‘ does ‘Slim Whitman‘ !”
RMMD – Mae Mae’s expression makes it clear that Mud will be needing that hand for himself tonight. I hope he can get a good wank with those misshapen fingers.
RMMD:
“There’s no shame in having more avoirdupois than a Parisian phone book. No, wait a minute — that’s not the impossibly hackneyed turn of phrase, is it….”
Blondie : One thing that would explain Dagwood’s reply/expression combo would be if the final panel initially read “You, because you lived through the Great Depression in the 1930s”.
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Crankshaft : already HAD a biographer, but he’s now fully occupied listening to a guy pointless meander and ramble about what it was like just starting out as a cartoonist (and never elaborating on the rest of his 50+ year career).
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Wizard of Id :
a) Why not use the term “spirit animal” instead? Too controversial/old hat?
b) “This guy, who has vast magic powers, always struggled with women” could have gone to a VERY DIFFERENT place from “so his animal form betrays his introversion and cowardice”.
Alexander is such a nothing character. The only way Dagwood can tell him apart from his own reflection is by the absence of food stains on his clothing.
Blondie: Kids today and their grade inflation! The “A” was for spelling his name right. The first “plus” was for not being obvious about his use of AI; the second was for keeping his essay down to a tight two paragraphs; and the third was for naming his made-up sleep-related historical figure after the Spanish word for “dream.” (Meanwhile, the “honors” were for only falling asleep in class three times this week.)
Rex Morgan: I like the way our friend is nervously pulling at his collar as he realizes he’s insulted her and is struggling to back out of it. All he needs is a few beads of flop sweat, and he’d be doing a full Rodney Dangerfield.
Mary Worth: “He’s a lonely senior who needs to spend money in an attempt to get love! Unlike me, of course. I pay for affection with baked goods, casseroles, and the kind of sex that’s so unspeakable, this strip will never, ever, ever mention it.”
Apparently “awkward turtle” is a thing? And I hadn’t heard of it? Once again staring into the abyss in which The WIzard of Id writers are more with it than I am.
MW: Mary inhales the steaming aroma from Muffin’s freshly baked litter box, while a similar container filled with an uncooked casserole rests on the floor in a corner of the bathroom.
Anyway Mike seems happy and well adjusted and it’s a running gag that you hate your wife so who’s awkward now, Wiz.
Wait, nobody told Mary he sent money yet, right?
@matt w: I think it WAS a thing, but I’m certain that the reference is several years out of date. Don’t worry, none of us are with it!
So did the Blondie team deliberately rip off a joke from 2012 about the inventor of the snooze button, or did they get tricked by ChatGPT?
MW Well, now we know how Mary can afford an endless supply of those mauve cowlnecks (what? she doesn’t deign to do *laundry*, she discards them after one use!) – she, after all, has *met* Dr Jeff and therefore is permitted to ask him for endless funds!
DT Huh, we’ve got a “palace chop house”, hotel “goat”, and something about aces or spades… – can’t figure out the rebus, or are they gradually building to a Late night Cuisine recipe of dug-up fermented meat topped with goat cheese?
@Lester Edgar Helicopter:
As fun as it would be to have this nice Encyclopedia Brown moment outing Mary as having intimate knowledge of a crime she shouldn’t, he DID tell her about the money. It’s why he angrily stormed off; he didn’t like Mary’s insinuation of “Maybe don’t start sending money to a lover you’ve only been dating for a short while and haven’t met in person yet.”
MW: Even in her own internal monologue, Mary is narrating and justifying her meddling. It’s such a core part of her character that she can’t even think normally. I’d call it tragic, but the real tragedy is the neighbors having to put up with it.
RMMD: “I know you’ve repeatedly stated that you don’t want to be recognized and your weight aids in that goal, but if you want, I can get you skinny!” And that’s why they call him Fergus “Dumb As a Mountain of Mud” Murphy.
CS: CUT! Come on, Keesterman, don’t look at the camera! Ugh, could I get some professional actors here?
Pluggers are in denial about both their age and their ugliness. Usually the strip focuses on one flaw per day, but this a rare Double Pluggers.
Luann: This is just plain cruelty. You don’t overrule someone’s difficulty choice in a dangerous activity, because of some offhand comment they made a week ago. You also don’t overrule someone’s ability to the use the bathroom whenever they choose to, but here we are. Les is getting what he deserves for trying to get a date, which he should know is absolutely forbidden in the world of Luann. And is punishable by any form of humiliation the offended party deems appropriate. Which looks like it’s about to be three broken ribs.
RMMD: Panels 2 and 3 show the art of acting with the eyes is alive and well!
DT: What are these three useful for? Usually in these heist movies, everyone in the crew has some skill. Mumbling, beady vision, etc. don’t seem crucial to any sort of heist but I’m no criminal mastermind.
@Lester Edgar Helicopter: No one’s told her about the latest 200,000, but Hart did say he was sending Trixie money when he last came over to Mary. She told him to be careful and he stormed out.
“If you ever want to, that is. No pressure — I like my women chunky…er, um…you know, with a little meat on ’em. Er, some weather we’ve been having some weather lately, haven’t we?” (Gulp)
@Liam: Honest to goodness, it never occurred to me that he was referring to Rex. I don’t know if that says more about me or the strip.
Blondie: That day, Dagwood’s suspicions of Blondie’s dalliance with a much older school bus driver deepened. How much of his marriage had he missed while face-down in a pastrami and ham and turkey and pickle and hot pepper hamburger?
Also Blondie: “Juan Sueno” is cute and all, but everyone knows the snooze alarm was first invented by the German polymath Johann Schlummerweckerefinder, and later perfected by a sentient robot.
Rex Morgan, M.D.: Awhile back, someone did a data analysis revealing that country music had the most drug references of any popular music genre, even more than gangsta rap. I had no idea that would include Ozempic. Or roots country. Or Rex Morgan, M.D.
@Bob Tice: “Eventually, he started drinking more water!”
JP: While her dad is a bourbon man, Ann appears to be a vodka chick, Svedka, judging by the shape of the bottle
Pluggers: Plugger’s can’t pass the
mirrorphoto ID test.Blondie: Dagwood’s words say proud! but his face says blah…. Meanwhile just offstage, a director is frantically waving his arms, mouthing the words; “Sell it! Sell it!”
Blondie: Dagwood looks nonplussed because, just like Alexander, he made up grades that didn’t exist when he was in high school. “A+++ with honors,” sir?
Wizard of Id: This strip belongs on the cover of Social Anxiety Illustrated. What happens the second you leave the room? People announce that you “always struggled with women” when you were younger, apparently!
“That’s Jennie, she had zits when she was 14.”
“Ben? Oh yeah, great guy, cured my cancer. Tripped when he was getting on the school bus once! That was thirty years ago, but it’s still how I introduce him!”
I know he’s not the Wizard of Superego, but… damn.
@Lauralot: Did she, though? All she said was “be careful about sending any money” which was enough to make HH angrily stomp out. Then she was more concerned with apologizing, and gossiping about the problem, than doing anything else. If Mary wanted to help, she should have meddled like she normally does. If she didn’t want to help, she should have thrown up her hands and said “ok, screw you, buddy, good luck.” She won’t be forceful enough to do anything useful, but she also won’t leave it alone.
And having a descendant the next town over would make this extremely easy. When you tell a young adult that someone is trying to steal from their extremely wealthy, near-death grandparent, they tend to get very involved.
Isn’t the “awkward turtle” a reference to the current Sherman’s Lagoon storyline?
Alex is a dumb teen, sure, but if his teacher can’t be arsed to run down the 11-year-old satircal quora post Alex used as his primary source and just slaps and A+++ on the top of the paper, Dagwood has every right to look so nonplussed.
Then again, perhaps this is a Never Let Me Go situation so Alex doesn’t actually need an education since just there for spare parts anyway, and knowing Dagwood and his food perversions, he’s probably going to eat those parts. Autocannibalism—the ultimate food taboo.
@Anonymous: Mary Worth is the Jessica Fletcher of the comics pages.
An A+++ with honours for an historical bio about an inventor he made up? I don’t know if we should congratulate Alexander or have mixed feelings about his teacher who has just given up and assumes every paper they get handed is written by ChatGPT now.
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“Really, you look great! But if you want to lose some weight…” says every man who really wants a woman he’s interested in to lose some weight. If I had any respect for Mud this would make me lose it.