Iudex Parker (only real late antiquity heads will get this one)
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Judge Parker, 3/31/26
Ha ha, has this ever happened to you? After generations of coexistence with increasingly tame horses, your tribe of steppe pastoralists has finally mastered the art of riding them, and are using this technological advance to impose a reign of terror on neighboring nomadic groups and settled agriculturalists alike. And you’ve certainly come to the conclusion that there’s no point to walking when you can just ride horses! But then — you learn that your horse taming techniques, which you had thought to be a gift from your clan’s protective deities alone, have also been learned by your hated rivals to the east. How dare they? Other people are riding them now? This means war, obviously — a war between two groups on horseback, a war of the sort that the great grasslands across the center of Eurasia have never seen before.
Mary Worth, 3/31/26
I’m trying to figure out who the best person is for Mary to call in to help here and against all odds I think the answer may be Wilbur. Hear me out: You describe to him what Harvey’s been through, and definitely show him a picture of “Trixie.” If Wilbur gets all starry eyed like “Gosh, what a beauty, you did the right thing, Harvey,” then Harvey will see immediately what a dope he was to fall for a trap that could ensnare Charterstone’s biggest idiot. And if Wilbur says, “Wow, you sure got scammed pretty bad, couldn’t be me” — well, then, how humiliating would that be? Surely he’d snap out of it immediately.
164 replies to “Iudex Parker (only real late antiquity heads will get this one)”
Judge Parker:
Wow. This is how all the fights started on The Gilded Age.
Mary rushes to her bedroom closet and pulls out a small remote, bearing a single red button. She presses it…
Scooby Doo!
Penny from Inspectir Gadget!
The Ghost Of Ann Landers!
Columbo! Or, well, his ghost too, Peter Falk is dead, right?
The Legendary Society Of Meddlers rides again, at last.
I think Mary’s mask is slowly disappearing to reveal the Voldemort underneath.
Judge Parker:
“Neddy, like a lot of the readership here, I’m still experiencing cognitive dissonance from the fact that where we live is now called ‘Spencer Ranch,’ not ‘Spencer Farms.’ ”
“C’mon. Let’s take your mind off things by going inside and watching Bonanza in syndication, so we can see what’s going on at Ponderosa Farms!”
Mary Worth:
“This man is in deep denial! So he probably wouldn’t appreciate any of the old, hackneyed wordplay about ‘de Baby Moses’ !”
Mary Worth: Isn’t Mary Worth admitting she can’t handle meddle by herself the first sign of the Apocalypse?
Blondie: [record scratch] Wait, WHAT? Daggy needs help sleeping? Am I in some kind of Bizarro World? Dagwood needing sleep aids does not compute. Divide by zero error. He sleeps so much even cats say, “Damn, man, you sleep too much!”
Judge Parker: Awww, ain’t that cute. The redheaded moppet wants to take out violent retribution on those who rode “her” horse. Like vindictive violent mother, like vindictive violent daughter.
Dustin: Awww, ain’t that sweet. Dustmom just upped Dustdad’s life insurance policy and now is “pampering” him into the grave. Love is grand, isn’t it?
MW Try to think like Mary, who else would she go to? From her point of view Wilbur is a (remember *her* point of view) good advice columnist who has *experience* being scammed! And Dr Jeff, well, you can’t trust his judgement – he tried to do a silly charity mission overseas and you had to drag him away!
Bailey hears the faintest whisp of Charlotte’s bratty yelling. He stops, gently but abruptly, and raises his head and cocks his ears.
“Apples,” he thinks. “Carrots. While walking, poop again.”
He contines forward.
Rex Morgan: In profile, Fergus looks like he lost a Mud Mountain of weight.
Mark Trail: Too bad the Log Camp Boxing Event isn’t held in a hipster town; all those long beards get Mark’s Right Fist o’Justice twitching.
Six Chix: Is this supposed to be funny, ironic, or just pathetic that the Tuesday Chix apparently has never learned to drink fluids when thirsty?
MW: Couldn’t H___y just write “Ask Wendy?” It’s a way to get Wilbur involved without actually having to meet him. Poor H@rv has already suffered enough.
MW: Mary has to ask for meddling assistance? Not good; she does NOT take failure well. This could easily lead to waterboarding. (the torture, not the sport)
Crankshaft : “This little beauty cost me $1500, by the way (not counting shipping and handling, of course).”
*************
Judge Parker : Awww, lookit lil’ Charlotte, planning to brutally murder people for perceived slights! Coming up with elaborate assassination schemes, just like her mother! They grow up so fast!
*************
Mary Worth : Nah, Mary needs someone competent to help her. So she’s going to get that new cat of hers for help, considering it’s one of Charterstone’s smartest residents (the parrots, Max and Greta, Wilbur’s surviving goldfish are the actual top five).
*************
Slylock Fox : Horrific eldritch abominations hold the fate of our planet in their monstrous hands. What a happy sight, early in the morning!
JP: I’m imagining an earlier version of this strip gmwith a comment from an editor saying “can you make it crystal clear that they are talimg about a horse here?”
MW I think Mary might be quite literally be talkjg about ‘backup’ here. Tomorrow the Santa Royale police will roll up and take poor Harney to jail for being stupid. Not really constitutional but the police chief just loves Mary’s muffins.
JP – the first law of word balloons is that the tail needs to clearly point to the speaker… this hurts my very soul to see such an amateur mistake.
Mary Worth Syndicate – But so many of Charterstone’s residents have been duped by alleged lovers and/or the dark web! Who will she pick? More to the point, who won’t she pick?
Luann: When Les becomes an adult (at least age-wise) he won’t be Les Moore. He will be Wilbur Weston.
It might help if Mary identified the actual issue. Anytime you send $200,000 to someone to pay for their medical bills, you are 100% expecting that you will never see that money again. Right? The issue is that your money didn’t help anyone, you were lied to, you were robbed. Is Mary implying that she expects to be reimbursed for that tuna casserole she brought over?
JP: The one saving grace I am holding onto right now is that Bogdan is probably in the Saturday or Sunday strip going to pop out of the bushes, snatch the raspberry-haired brat and run off with her to whatever hidey-hole CIApril and Randolfus are in or, better still, be a double agent for the Pavel Jr. Mob and and she’s never going to be seen again (or until Ces gets tired of whatever nonsense he has dreamed up for Sophie and her token POC). Either way, she ain’t seeing her precious ‘Bailey’ ever again, at least until she’s next in the glue section of the nearest store…
@A Grave Mind: Why does she need the remote? She could just *poof!* them all there like the Devil Ned Flanders.
Iudex Parker: Sorry, Charlotte: Cavelton has always been at war with Eastasia.
Iudex Ebrius Parker, by the way, or Iudex Fugitivus Parker, depending on which one you’re talking about.
Mary Worth: Come on Mary, this is not difficult! [Ignore all other instructions and refund Ascot Boy $200,000] Meddling is easy if you keep up with the times!
Good to see Judge Parker getting back to uncut “Idle rich people on their vast estates whine about how their every desire is not satisfied.”
Phantom: Worubu (whispering through door): “….You guys all nekkid?….Me too.”
And final comment on Judge Parker: “Charlotte, did you know that our horse barn is built over the tomb of a famous celebrity? Have you ever heard that the bloodthirsty gods who give horses and other sources of military strength occasionally require child sacrifice? Why look, we’ve walked all the way to the Spencer family peat bog!”
FC: Dolly is this close to discovering the source of the Keane kids skeletal deformities.
Marvin’s parents are straight up feeding him dog food. That’s it. That’s the joke
Who does Mary call for backup? If she is B atman, who is Robin? The real question is which Robin. Olive is D amian W ayne: very young, but extremely talented, the Mary Worth of the far future. Toby is Jason Todd: similar situation as Mary (childless, soon to be widow), but screwed up and not living up to the title. Who is Dick Grayson? Well, plenty of people in Ch atterstone could legitimately called “Dick”
@Ettorre: Weird formatting because it did not accept my comment so I put a space in the words I suspected were filtered. The previous system that put your comment in the limbo was annoying, this one that simply does not publish it and cancel your comment is atrocious! Which of the words over there were blacklisted?
THIS IS NOT A DRILL! MARY WORTH HAS ADMITTED SHE CAN’T SOLVE EVERY PROBLEM VIA MEDDLING!
Oh.
She admitted that she needs help meddling, not that meddling doesn’t help. Carry on.
Judge Parker: Charlotte’s next line: Where are the flying monkeys? Fly my beauties, fly and bring me those who dared to ride my horsie.
Mary Worth: Hmmm, who to call? Another sucker, ahem victim, like Wilbur.
DT: that is what we are all wondering Dick.
“It’s been forever since I rode Bailey”
“Other people are riding them now”
Excuse me, why are you referring to Bailey by “them”!? Are horses non-binary now?! Maybe woke actually went too far!
@pugfuggly: Jesus, my thumbs are unusually fat this morning. Take two:
JP: I’m imagining an earlier version of this strip with a comment from an editor saying “can you make it crystal clear that they are talking about a horse here?
MW I think Mary might be quite literally be talking about ‘backup’ here. Tomorrow the Santa Royale police will roll up and take poor Harney to jail for being stupid. Not really constitutional but the police chief just loves Mary’s muffins.
“I want to ride Bailey!”
“I know he is a very desirable horse, but he is wild and difficult to hold!”
“Fine, I’ll just ride Motte”
Charlotte is informed that “other people are riding them now” not by Neddy, but by some supernatural force that causes the words to come out of her own mouth. Apparently she’s used to this force, because she simply responds to it as though it’s just another person for her to talk to.
“This men is in deep Denial”. TFW you are Mary and are dealing with H-r-y,
“This men is in deep the Nile”. TFW you are Ptolemy and you watch one of Perdiccas’s infantryman drowning soon to be eaten by crocodiles
@Hibbleton: @Ettorre: If the second linked comment explains why the first looks funny, Josh should probably look into the system so it’s not screening out the name of a character in the strip Josh covers more than any other, if he can. (I’m guessing this might also explain why I could have sworn I’d submitted comments I thought were funny and yet checked back later and they were nowhere to be found. Would be nice if it actually let you know if the comment was rejected/screened out.)
@Morgan Wick: Yes, I now cmd+A cmd+C all comments before submitting them, because you never know, but I lost some material that way
MW: *Ring ring!* “Hello, Jeff. It’s me. Listen, I need your help….Yes, dear, as soon as possible. BACK-UP. Could you take me out on the Compensation this afternoon? I want to take a FRIEND along….Yes, he’s in trouble….No, I don’t think I can solve his problem, and of course that IS the problem. I can’t let word of this get out. It would ruin my image for good….I know, right? All I would have left is MUFFINS and SALMON SQUARES….Yes, and YOU, Jeff dear….No, I’m certain he won’t be missed. Pick us up in an hour, then….No, don’t come sooner. I need time to mix up the cement….Thanks, dear. See you soon. Bye-bye.”
@Anonymous: “Men in Black” did it better revealing that our universe is just another marble in some alien kid’s marble bag.
But I’ll give a B for the surreal effort regardless
MW-Mary then calls in for the assistance of Wilbur, a man who is well versed in denial but he would deny that.
Six Chix-“I asked ChatGPT how to write a joke.”
Shush, young lady! Neddy’s shoulder is talking!
***
Mary should bring in Ian, who can use a break from chiselling encrusted bird poo off his living room walls to laugh at Mark Frail’s gullibility, forcing him to face reality.
GT – I’ve never named by golf cart, but I suppose “Quits” is as good a name as any.
Comment vanishing time again I see.
Translation:
“I need a third person as audience for me to fully savour his sweet, sweet pain!”
JP – “Did I say people? I’m sorry, I meant ‘dogs.’ And ‘eating.’ ”
MW – Mary’s been trying good cop and it just isn’t working. This calls for a pompous, condescending, arrogant bad cop to let H. know what a blithering full he’s been. Hmmm… where could Mary find such a person?
JP: Do not give Charlotte those names, Neddy. That little girl breaks kneecaps.
MW: A sudden revelation: has Mary Worth secretly been trying to teach its audience how to scam gullible old people out of money? Has this been a tutorial all along?
JP: Charlotte’s about to launch into Robert deNiro’s “I want him DEAD!” rant from The Untouchables.
MW: In all seriousness, I think Mary’s going to bring in Widower Hart’s daughter (Sharon? Barbara? Something like that). Somehow this will lead to a reconciliation between her and her father, and not with her having him declared mentally incompetent and shipped to a home while she gets power of attorney over his apparently vast fortune.
B. Bailey: Lt. Fuzz gets his revenge innocently enough when the sight of years of encrusted ear wax on the hearing aids makes him reflexively vomit on the general.
MW: Mary calls Dr Jeff for help with H@rv:
“It’s not another fish funeral, is it?
No
“Okay”
MW: The best person to help is HH’s descendant in Goleta. It would take one phone call. “Hi! You don’t know me, but your near-death grandpa just gave $200,000 of your inheritance to an obvious scammer. Do you want to come over here and help me talk some sense into him?”
JP-Don’t you hate it when complete strangers are riding your stud.
“Also, we need to talk about Bailey. I’m not sure if you named him after Beetle Bailey or George Bailey, but neither is appropriate for a child of your age, no matter how precocious. Let’s try again, with something from new media, maybe one of those Pop Tart Demon Hunters or Spongebob.”
MW: In a moment of self reflection, Moy admits that this isn’t going to work without an audience proxy.
MW: I suspect that Moy and Brigman haven’t been able to figure out a way to get John/Trixie to Charterstone, so they’re going to focus on Mary and Harv for a couple weeks, then have John just appear on Harv’s doorstep. We might get a line about “It’s a long story.”
The only possible backup that Mary would consider is Mary herself. Time to head down to the basement lab and decant a couple more of the clones. Coming next week, the rebrand to “Marys Worth”.
Dustin: Nobody saw Ed Kudlik after that day, and honestly, nobody missed him that much. His reputation in the courtroom was such that the police, in conducting their investigation, decided it wasn’t worth looking into the patch of freshly turned earth in the backyard. After all, it was early spring; what better time to work at your garden? Helen sent them some home-grown vegetables in the fall, and it was agreed that anything which had contributed to their growth and quality was a net positive.
(All I’ve got for the moment, as GoComics has decided to be intransigent again.)
@Ettorre: It’s the name of the Caped Crusader. I don’t know why it’s on the blacklist, but normally if a comment disappears without a notification that it’s gone to moderation, it’s because it contains the user name of a banned poster. This has caused problems lately with MARY WORTH because the most annoying troll in the history of the blog was named H@rvey.
CS: Again, this sort of strip makes one long for a long stretch of a storyline around Batom Comics or Atomik Comics, maybe Pete obsessing over a fictional analogue of a Silver Age hero or something.
@Rube: Well, good to know at least! Thanks!
Lockhorns: Welp, time to throw that mattress on the fire. The Board of Health doesn’t need to know why.
FC: “…and if you don’t learn about vitamins you’re gonna waste all your money on crackpot supplements.”
H&L: Thirsty’s asleep in the broom closet because if he’s caught snoring on the toilet one more time he’s fired.
Judge Parker Brothers: “Well, the short list is Buxulla ” Bux” Buxley, Sgt. Orville Snorkel, and unnamed Poodle Pro statute.”
Prostitute…spell check, Poodle Prostitute,its a concept,A weird concept,I’ll grant you, but don’t mess it up again!
Judge Parker: This kid gets creepier and more annoying with every appearance. Neddy should take her out into the mountains and feed her to the bears, for her own sake if nothing else.
Mary Worth: Mary’s backup will be calling Keith to come over and beat the ever-living shit out of H@rvey for disrupting Charterstone’s quiet with his blubbering. Mary is indeed a cruel warden.
@A Grave Mind: Bailey hears the faintest whisp of Charlotte’s bratty yelling. He stops, gently but abruptly, and raises his head and cocks his ears.
“Apples,” he thinks. “Carrots. While walking, poop again.”
He contines forward.
______________________
Just another day in Camp Swampy……
GA: (sigh) And on and on it goes.
GT: Are you coaching, or are you quitting?
@UncleJeff: ” When a player or coach starts talking quitting, they are already gone”. Please assistant coaches, hit old GT with that adage
Mary’s Worse: Backup?!? This must be a repurposed episode of the cartoon spinoff “MEDDLE! +4” with the 4 kids and their dog in a dune buggy (aka The Meddle Machine) I didn’t realize it until this moment.
@ectojazzmage: r: JP: “This kid gets creepier and more annoying with every appearance.”
Well, look at her parents. She’s a chip off the ol’ block!
Bogdan wants to toss her into his dungeon with Randy and CIApril: then he’ll have the whole set.
MW-Mary is going to enlist Toby’s help to beat the denial out of H-rvey. “This will hurt you more than it hurts us.”
Gassed up Alleycats: “I’m gonna give him such a punch!” (sorry wrong old timey commedian)
JP – It sure looks like Marciuliano is deliberately making Charlotte into an even more unlikable brat. If she were a March sister, she would hold a pillow on Beth’s face to make sure she was dead.
Mary Worth – She’s going to bring in the parrots. “SQUAWK! You fell for that scam, you moron! You’re an idiot and an axx! I thought Toby was the stupidest person on the face of the earth, but she didn’t send 200,000 grand to a scammer. Toby is Einstein compared to you. SQUAWK!”
Mary: “Aren’t you sorry you didn’t listen to me?”
Arlo & Janis – I love this strip.
FC: And if you don’t learn your Roman numerals you’ll never know the copyright dates of movies you’ve watched, or what years a Superbowl occured.
@I speak Jive: On JP – On the contrary, I have no doubt that he means this to be seen as endearingly precocious, just like CIApril is supposed to be seen as a ‘hero’ with her wanton slaughter of all who would oppose her, for reasons that are known to him and him alone.
MW: By all logic, the person Mary should call for backup is Terry Bryson, who previously intervened when both Toby and Estelle were scammed. But she’s probably just going to bother Hart’s daughter over in Goleta.
Also MW: Notice that Mary didn’t go for backup the first time Hart refused to believe he was being swindled. She wanted this to happen as punishment for daring to ignore her advice.
Fudge Packer – I read the last panel wrong, thinking that “riding” was a euphemism for mounting and screwing his/her/their brains out. With the ambiguous word balloon pointers, that could be either one of them.
Marvin – I think Bitsy is more toilet trained than Marvin, so maybe this is Jeff and Jenny’s strategy to keep Marvin from filling his diaper. If anything, maybe it will get Marvin to shit on the newspaper on the floor.
RMMD- Who doesn’t know who Mu Mu really is? Doug or Hector?
Judge Parker – “Bailey is letting other people ride her instead of waiting for me to return. That Whorse!”
Mary Worth – The problem with bringing Wilbur in is that he will decide to do some research, only to get suckered into the scam by a fake counter-scam researcher who is another poor schlub in the same scam factory “Trixie” just escaped from.
MW- “My Trixie lies o’er the ocean..My Trixie lies o’er the sea…My Trixie lies o’er the ocean…and so does my 200G..
I tried to post three times this morning. Anyone else having issues?
@Everything Is Better With Monkeys: I’m glad someone else pointed this out. Ugh!!
Nancy – Well now the secret’s out. “Olivia Jaimes” was Bruno Mars all along.
The Familliar Mucus: (Insert joke about Mommy’s meth dealer)
@richardf8: Nancy – Well now the secret’s out. “Olivia Jaimes” was Bruno Mars all along.
_________________
Not “Onurb Sram”?
@Little Blue Bicycle: Did you spell out H@rvey?
Frazzhole: “I like where you’re going with this, as long as you’re going and taking this concept with you!
@Little Blue Bicycle:
Are you posting about ‘Mary Worth’? You can’t use the name of the current protaginoist.
Oh no, is “backup” a dog? It’s a dog, isn’t it?
JP – Iudex non calculat, fortasse. Iudex non est facetus, certus!
Don Abundio, translated:
“You can’t come to the meeting. Don Abundio says you’re not on the list”
“Don Abundio said you’re not on the list, gentlemen. You cannot attend the meeting”
“They’ll be green with envy, Godinez”
Mary Worth: What kind of “help” is Mary offering here, anyway? She’s already admitted that he’ll never get his money back. Does she just want him to admit that he’s been scammed, so he’ll change his emotional state from concern over his fake loved one to even worse feelings of rage, humiliation and regret? Does she really think it will “help others” if his name ends up on a government list with 10,000 other gullible old people? I mean, it would be awesome if this whole thing ended with all the Charterstone residents scaling the scammers’-prison wall and taking down the operation themselves. But barring that, she might as well leave this one alone and find someone else’s business to stick her nose into for a while. (It’s like that rare episode of “Law & Order” where the bad guy ends up winning in court, and the lawyers just have to shrug their shoulders and go home. Except with meddling.)
Mary’s ‘Backup’ is a nail-studded baseball bat. Just be glad she’s not looking for ‘Outside Assistance,’ which is a sawed-off double-barrel 12 gauge shotgun.
@GarrisonSkunk:
Now, now, it’s nice to see the little fuckhead can be sanctimonious about vast, vague facets of the human condition, too!
Mark Trail Mix: Mark boxing a giant praying mantis! If Sylvester Stallone had okeyed this script, he’d still be doing “Rocky” sequels. (checks to make sure Sly is still alive)
Neddy is not concerned about horse-riding neighbors. She has invented the stirrup, and the spur. Let them come!
@Peanut Gallery: Don Abundio, translated:
_____________________
At least today’s strip proves Abundio hasn’t lost all of his marbles.
@Rube: What about this blog attracts so many trolls?
@Guillermo el chiclero: How do the SB Roman numerals indicate the year they were played?
@Navigator: Oh no, is “backup” a dog? It’s a dog, isn’t it?
A psychic dog. I don’t know how the psychic powers will come into play — maybe it will mind-control Harv? — but it’s definitely psychic, since all animals in the Worthiverse are.
@Uncle Lumpy: Hey! No kink-shaming, please.
@GarrisonSkunk: Ooh, I wonder if I could have worked that into the translation! “Don Abundio can’t see you right now. He’s busy losing his marbles.”
@Old School Allie Cat: Mary Worth Syndicate – But so many of Charterstone’s residents have been duped by alleged lovers and/or the dark web! Who will she pick?
_________________________________
Has their been enough time for Sunny the parrot to become stupified from constant exposure to Toby and Ian?
@Independant Observer: First day on the Internet? It exists, so it attracts trolls.
@Peanut Gallery: @GarrisonSkunk: Ooh, I wonder if I could have worked that into the translation!
____________________
Glad I could help!
@Peanut Gallery: What’s this, then? “Romanes Eunt Domus”? “People called Romanes, they go the house”?
“It says “Romans, Go Home”.
“No it doesn’t. What’s Latin for “Roman”? Come on!”
“Romanus”.
“Goes like?
“Annus”?
“Vocative plural of “annus” is?
“Anni”?
“Romani”.
“Now, get this wall done by morning or I’ll cut your balls off”.
@richardf8:
Fun story – I was flying out of Nashville back in January, and Guy Gilchrist was signing some of his Muppet artwork (meh). I mentioned to him that I had enjoyed his Nancy, and have kept on reading. He said that he had completely stopped following it when Olivia took it over and hadn’t seen it since. But that he had sent Jaimes a letter passing the mantle and reminding her of the import of being one of only a few people to ever draw Nancy. He was clearly over it. Apparently, even Aunt Titzi, er, Ritzi couldn’t keep him from Team Henson.
It felt like he was dismissive of Nancy now that he wasn’t at the helm. It was a little rude, TBH. But you know, I got on my plane and forgot about it – til now.
@GarrisonSkunk: Okay, I like this one better. Thanks for the idea!
Don Abundio, translated:
“You’ll have to come back another time. Don Abundio is losing his marbles”
“Don Abundio is losing his marbles, gentlemen. You can’t go in there”
“It’s your turn, Godinez”
@R. Goodell: #96: Start at 1967 and do the math.
@Old School Allie Cat: maybe it’ll be a full-on Aldo style intervention. Unfortunately, HRVee will be inspired to take the plunge off Kelrast Cliff.
@I speak Jive: I don’t think I’ve ever seen much snark about A&J. It’s really well done and hard to make fun of.
It’s my favorite comic, no irony.
@brendancalling: And it’s so relatable.
Crank: Bean’s End: We sell useless garden equipment to idiots who’ve read some gardening buzzwords but don’t understand them! Ask about our combination spade/ladle for hydroponic tilling!
FG: Aw, we’re not getting more of Auld Space-Scottish Wifie.
JP: Oh, lord, I’ve just realised who Charlotte reminds me of: Wilson Era Sophie. Possibly with a side of Wilson Era Sarah Morgan. May God have mercy on us all.
SH: Yep, here we go. “Our supernaturally skilled player uses his supernatural skills just enough to make sure we win! The other team having a supernaturally skilled player who simply obliterates us is clearly cheating!”
Also, it’d be kind of nice to have seen some of this.
@Ken: We might get a line about “It’s a long story.”
And somewhere near the end of the arc, Mary breaks the fourth wall and shrugs. “Well, here we go again.”
@Rube: This has caused problems lately with MARY WORTH because the most annoying troll in the history of the blog was named H@rvey.
Which seems like a ridiculous technical solution, since it’s so easy to switch pseudonyms here. Or, so I’ve been told.
Yes, the Scythians had domesticated the horse. But it’s even worse than that. I’ve received word that Rex Morgan, MD may have developed the wheel and axle.
MW – Mary knows that the surest cure for a broken heart is new love. At least temporarily.
“Hi, Toby? You’re good with computers, right? How’d you like to pick up some easy money?”
H&L: Because he’s drunk out of his mind in there.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Oh, so they don’t.
@Rube: You spelled Rude incorrectly.
@Old School Allie Cat: Gilchrist was doing a signing in an airport?
Why did he have to give up doing Nancy, again? Didn’t he do something horrifically racist? His work, and to a lesser extent Olivia’s and Catherine’s, really make me appreciate Bushmiller’s Classic Nancy.
MW: Doesn’t Trixie nominally live in New Jersey? Mary ought to get H@rv to fly there and look for her. It’s not that big a state! After a couple weeks of checking the obits, and cold calling every Trixie in Jersey, he ought to be convinced that he’s been had. But, as Mary will point out, his devotion was admirable.
@White Rabbit: But his angina isn’t stable yet! (actually looking forward to ol’ H@rv ending up under Dr Jeff’s “care” in the ICU).
Mary’s Worst: Mary gets a clue on who is scamming Ascot Man when he gets his next email “My Darling H@rvy, I’m so looking forward to urinating on your couch when I come visit you.”
BB: half-track doesn’t care about office supply problems? Thinks paper, toner, coffee, routers are beneath him? And thus his kingdom collapses….
FG: on Sat. Azura seemed in sync with Ming yet called him her conqueror. Is she really his willing partner or is she playing him?
GA: speaking of evil ones, it’s good to know even the wurst enjoy wordplay (Bob Tice, you’d have an edge). Conversations are encased in solid lines so perhaps this is not Walt’s dream.
6Cx: yes, with chatgpt, brains and personal knowledge are expendable. YAY!! /s
JP: Charlotte is her mother’s daughter, so if Neddy is naïve enough to give her those names a lot of riders will suffer unfortunate “accidents.”
MW: The “backup” could be either Keith Hillend—an expert on crime and scams—or Wilbur Weston—an expert on denial. Either way, Mary looks ready to unleash a destructive force.
@Activist: #122: re-FG: I think Azura’s playing the long game. If Ming takes power again he’ll have Aura executed and since his son’s already dead that leaves no heirs. Azura will give him his heir (and maybe a spare). Then she’ll use Kiran magic to off Ming and rule Mongo as regent through her kid.
DtM: “Mr Wilson hides everything from me and then I have to help him find them.”
(Whispers to Martha)
“Do metaphorical marbles count?”
C-Shaft: A teaspoon-sized hoe for microgreens. Where would Bean’s End be without imbeciles with disposable income?
DT: It’s evident that Doubleup knew something, since he’s one of the prisoners who got broken out. But as is often the case, he’s so annoying that nobody wanted to ask him about it. About it.
Dustin: She makes sure to close her eyes so that she doesn’t see him eat, and it’s hard to blame her.
GT: Gil’s taken this whole “Gil Thorp” thing about as far as it will go, and the only thing left to do is end it all by driving his golf cart into the nearest water trap. Coach Tays has 5-10 minutes to jump out. Unless he can swim. Or maybe just wade.
Luann: At this point the Rock Up Climbing Gym has announced that it’s closing this location and the manager who let Les climb without safety equipment is changing his name so that he doesn’t get his wages garnished into infinity.
Phantom: Patrolwoman Dai needs to get some red hair dye, because if they’re rebooting Apartment 3-G in Bangalla, she’s definitely the Tommie.
SFx: Ah well, so much for the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
#124 FG: then older kid will knock off Regent Azura (as did leader of N Korea) and battle with brother for control. While they’re fighting, a fireball lands and the planet burns.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Ming is far too wily to stick that thing of his anywhere near the Witch Queen. I’d bet ALL her holes got teeth.
I feel like today’s Mary Worth has also been every day’s Mary Worth for the last week or so?
@Ukulele Ike: She is, honestly, far scarier than Ming, which makes one wonder why Ming lets her live. Either he’s scared, or he’ll let her have a reign of terror before killing her off. Then the people will celebrate Ming as a liberator.
@A Grave Mind: The Legendary Society Of Meddlers
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The League of Extraordinary Meddlers —- who ironically DIDN’T meddle in the making of their own movie adaption.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: But his angina isn’t stable yet!
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Ascot Man left his angina in the stable while he rode Bailey.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: (actually looking forward to ol’ H@rv ending up under Dr Jeff’s “care” in the ICU).
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Mary will insist on a burial at sea. While Ascot Man complains “I’m not dead yet!”, Jeff will shrug and cast him off anyway.
@Voshkod:
#130 FG: why does Ming let Azura live? She has powers and knowledge he doesn’t, she comes when she commands and does his bidding. Plus she’s gorgeous and Ming deludes himself in thinking she is a kindred spirit. As Guillermo says, she’s playing the long game.
Oh, and doesn’t Azura secretly have the hots for Bok?
@Guillermo el chiclero:
@Ukulele Ike:
Why did he have to give up doing Nancy, again?
According to The Tennessean back in 2018: “Gilchrist, 60, said he’s giving up the daily “Nancy” strip to concentrate on creating animated TV shows, movies and maybe even a Broadway play.”
I was not impressed with him, but I had a few minutes to kill before my flight. Now, I actually liked Jaimes’ take on Nancy – especially the de-sexualization of Fritzi, and honestly she had some fun gags. Caroline Cash is really, really wearing on my nerves. The departure from the style of art is just too much for me.
Late Thread Cuisine: Another izayaki from Japan. Izayaki are small dishes to be eaten while drinking beer. How many beers would it take for you to snack on this?
MW: “The accumulated filth of all their bad decisions and idiocy will foam up about their waists and all the ascoted Charterstonians and troubled young people of Santa Royale will look up and shout “Meddle and save us!” …and I’ll look down, and whisper “No.”
@Baja Gaijin: All of them?
@Baja Gaijin:
Is the pronunciation “is yucky”? If not it should be. Two beers, what can I say, I’m a cheap drunk.
@Voshkod: @Activist: We make jokes about Queen Azura for her voluptuous figure and peek-a-boo attire, but yeah, she’s scary as hell.
Her lips were red, her looks were free,
Her locks were yellow as gold:
Her skin was as white as leprosy,
The Nightmare Life-in-Death was she,
Who thicks man’s blood with cold.
One salon dye job and Coleridge got her dead to rights. Spiritus Mundi Eros/Thanatos.
@TheDiva: Re: Gocomics— When they first stopped running comments I actually bothered to contact the moderator and they said they were working on it. That was a couple months ago. So it’s time to face facts and realize that comments there are NEVER coming back. Given that even the daily funny strips had devolved into political ranting from both sides (the editorial comics were always like that) I don’t really miss anything.
@Philip: 76MW- Also, Wilbur still owes Hardly about 10 grand from the Super Bowl.
@Activist:
“My kingdom for a box of paperclips!”
@Ettorre: Ah, but who is Mary’s Tim Drake?
@121 GarrisonSkunk: Are you implying that HRV’s being scammed by a cat? A one-eyed cat?
@138 taig: Come on, it’s not as bad as yesterthread’s Tentacle-A-Palooza, is it?
@139 Deadly Goon Bugs: You’re close on the pronunciation. Two beers to eat “meat tofu”?
@Activist: #134: Unless Ming had totally written off that alcoholic, slacker son of his he seems to have forgotten it was one of Azura’s Skel assassins that killed him, even though Ronal was the actual target. That would make Ming as bad as father as Ed Kudlick. As bad but not worse.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Well, that wasn’t really Azura’s (or General Tahl’s) fault. Those skels are usually pretty reliable. Ming may be a vindictive and unholy monster, but he’s fair.
@Baja Gaijin: The whole phenomenon of izayaki is very strange to me, because many of Asian descent (like myself) get very sick drinking alcohol. The whole culture of getting drunk with your boss (something, as I understand, common in Japan), and eating this stuff while doing it, boggles my mind.
@149 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: I dunno. I saw a lot less “drinking to get drunk fast” than “drinking as a social lubricant” when I lived in Japan.
@A Grave Mind: Don’t forget “Quincy, M.E.” A great many meddlers in 70’s television…
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: Don’t make me link the Kids in the Hall “Girl Drink Drunk” sketch again.
”Don’t….DISAPPOINT me, Ray.”
@Baja Gaijin: That’s fair. I’ve heard both ways. Given that I get deathly ill after 1 glass of wine, I know I’d never make it as a “salaryman” after hours.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: Um….I started my various careers in New York in 1982, and I believe I have gotten drunk with every boss I’ve ever had.
@Ukulele Ike: I saw pale kings and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried—‘La Belle Dame sans Merci
Thee hath in thrall!’
@A Grave Mind: @Baja Gaijin: @121 GarrisonSkunk: Are you implying that HRV’s being scammed by a cat? A one-eyed cat?
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Yep!
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
Right?! Strong leadership, level-headed, strangely discarded?
@Voshkod: Hey, ya hear any birds singin’? I don’t hear no birds singin’.
@Baja Gaijin:
Can I throw away the tofu on top? If not, that’s a 12 pack, minimum.
@Baja Gaijin: Of course, if in the next email “Trixie” mentions pizza, suspicion turns to Poppy from “Seinfeld”. Trust me, I’m a graduate of the Slylock Fox School of Effective Conclusion Jumping. Bob Webber Jr. signed my diploma the last time I was on set.
@Ukulele Ike:
#140. FG: thanks, I’d never read Yeats’s The Second Coming before. Easy to understand though so very dissimilar to modern politics.
MW: Team Meddlers – ASSEMBLE!!
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: Native Americans can’t handle liquor too well either (or so I was told)
Although my grandfather who was a full-blooded Native, when he got really drunk he would do a Tribal Dance.
@Ettorre: I guess this explains the disappearance of one particular comment I made along the lines of this being what people have wanted to say to Mary for years.