Religious fervor
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Gil Thorp, 10/1/26
[Between panels two and three] “… and … what’s that? Coach Clover seems to be discussing something with her assistants and … oh my gosh, folks, it appears that Valley Tech is parading the famous Panagia Hodegetria icon of the Theotokos — one of the Virgin Mary’s titles in Eastern Christianity — along the sideline. The Byzantines used to carry this ancient portrait, rumored to have been painted by St. Luke himself, along the walls of Constantinople in times of crisis; it was thought to be lost when the Ottomans conquered the city but it seems it’s right here in the Valley Conference! And Borys Orlov, the Slavic terror who’s been dominating tonight’s game so far, falls to his knees in a show of piety before the blessed relic, allowing Jones to make a clean catch for Valley Tech. Now it’s first and goal! Can VT make this run count?!”
Gearhead Gertie, 10/1/26
Because, Gertie, Dale is dead! He’s been dead and in the ground for more than 25 years! He wouldn’t want you to live like this. He’d want you to move on! There are lots of exciting and charismatic new drivers in NASCAR these days. It’s OK to pick one as your new favorite! It doesn’t dishonor Dale’s legacy!
45 replies to “Religious fervor”
G. &*^@#$! Thorp – Someone should tell Marty Moon or the narration balloon that teams score points in football, not runs.
“Today’s clash is Gil Thorp’s ex-wife against Gil Thorp’s wedding crasher. Wait, do things still revolve around Gil Thorp even if he is not present? Is the universe tailored to him? Am I? The existential implications are staggering!”
Gil Thorp-Is someone getting Fredoed?
FC-You’re going to want to call a priest. It looks like Jeffy’s possessed.
I have no sympathy for Gertie’s husband. You have known for years that she is necrophiliac fanatic trapped in a world of her own, any pain resulting from staying with her is only your fault!
Turning her house into a shrine for a man who left a hole in her life? Gertie is like Miss Havisham if Great Expectations was written by someone with no talent
RMMD:
Speaking of religious favor, in today’s second panel, Mud looks as if he believes that he’s about to be taken up into The Rapture.
Gearhead Gertie:
Did you know that the ancient Greeks were so mesmerized by the number 3 that they used to run around shouting “Threeness! Threeness!”? Of course, they did it in the ancient Greek language.
Gil Thorp:
Here’s betting Coach is going as Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider for Halloween.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: It’s amazing that someone who apparently knows less about sportsball than me (runs=baseball, football = goals and touchdowns…) could get a gig writing a _sports_ _drama_ comic!
GT: It’s a completed pass, to one of the Jones boys.
DT: No, Blowtop. You’ve still got one family member left. He plays varsity football for Valley Tech.
GT: Wedding Crashers or more correctly ‘Alickadoos’ are caught offguard as the VT ‘jumper’ is lifted to take the ‘pill’ during a ‘lineout’. A confused Coach Gerards exclaims angrily; “Why did I let her talk me into rugby rules!”
An almost religious obsession with the number three? I guess that’s how Arians, Unitarians, Jews and Muslims imagine Trinitarian Christians to be
Gearhead Gertie:
I’m not a NASCAR fan, so when NASCAR legend Kyle Busch died at a tragically young age earlier this year, my first thought (after “oh, that’s sad”) was “How will Gearhead Gertie take this?” While I never expected him to displace Dale Earnhardt in her affections, I did speculate that his storied career, combined with the romance of an early death, might lead to him becoming a saint in Gertie’s Church of the Holy Car #3. If he has, there’s no sign of it, as instead of, for example, creating a small shrine to Busch in a corner of her house, she’s been spending money on what have to be custom-made #3 rugs, lampshades, and curtains. Truly, Dale is a jealous God, and thou shalt have no other gods before him.
Gil Thorp : Tomorrow : Borys rushes the VT quarterback, strips him of the ball, runs the entire 100 yards to score a touchdown. (honest question : would this be anymore absurd/inaccurate than what has happened so far?)
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Moose & Molly : Oh, THAT’S why they discontinued Cool Tools ™! (and the other such “buy your kid a miniature toolkit” playsets)
Gertie is clearly hoping that some fellow NASCAR fan will take it upon him or herself to turn her entire house into an unofficial museum primarily centered around Dale. Dale Earnhardt’s surviving family will think it’s a sweet gesture, until they step foot in the living room and see a resentful Ghost of Gertie’s Husband trying eternally to alter the house and make at least one square foot of it normal and non-NASCAR related.
GT: Good idea, Emily, but I don’t see how a reluctant high school teacher and a weirdly adorable rock alien are going to help in these circumstances…
Gil Thorp:
We already knew that Milford is obsessed with high school sports to a frankly unhealthy degree, but if you ever needed additional evidence of that, the fact that you can become the talk of the town simply by showing up to the wedding of a high school athletics coach uninvited should more than satisfy you.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: My interpretation was that “run” referred to a series of good plays rather than a result. Unfortunately for the writer, a productive series of offensive plays is called a “drive”. ”
Run is reserved for a play in which the ball is, well, run with, as opposed to a pass play, which is depicted in panel three.
So, yeah, the producers of this strip have no clue. . .
That was me. Sorry
GT: “Hail, Mary, full of grace. Help us, we got messed up face.”
Gearhead Gertie: Dale Earnhardt? In the ground? You can look for him, but he is not there, for he is racing.
@But What Do I Know?: This was also my thought. Therefore it is correct.
@Ettorre: @Vulpes: Yeah, I’m suddenly feeling a lot of sympathy for “Gerads and Darby.” Also, I’m being reminded of that old joke with the punchline “But you f*** one goat…”
“Sometimes you’re so impulsive
You shaved off all your hair
You look like Borys Orlov
And you don’t even care” – Tom Petty (adapted)
GG: “Our neighbor, Ian Cameron is stepping out on his tedious wife with Mary Worth. Maybe I should, too.”
GT: Someone needs to turn Marvel or DC on to Gerads. The man has “lab accident supervillan” written all over him.
DtM: Good one, Dennis. I may steal it.
MW: Is Toby implying that she actually has the percepacity to SENSE Ian’s highjinks, or does she not know what “sneaking around ” means.
Dustin: Please, like Dustdad cares about things like “ultra-processed.” He’s only concerned about whether or not he can inhale the entire cake before his wife finds out about it.
Luann: Also the motto on the deGroot coat of arms, as established by Etienne des Gruttes, a somewhat hapless chevalier of the thirteenth century: Nescimus quid agimus.
MT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
MW: Please, Toby, you barely even know what’s going on in front of your face, let alone behind your back.
Phantom: So the Phantom has decided to take a page from Rex Morgan and let somebody else handle the problem while he sits back and does nothing.
RMMD: “Plus this place weirdly has the highest density of roots country fans in the world, so it just makes good business sense.”
Has anyone checked Earnhardt’s grave recently? If his body is missing, I’d like to direct the authorities to that shrine Gertie’s chair allows her to stare at.
GG: You could start pulling for Austin Dillon, Gertie, and you wouldn’t even need to get rid of all the 3 merchandise! Of course, you’d have to be content with seeing your driver run outside the top-10 most weeks.
GT: This looks like a scene out fo the hot new series Friday Night No Lights
GG: “I was just thinking that maybe we could get a second chair? My legs…so tired..”
Gil Thorp: I don’t want to keep harping on Coach Gerads’ hair, I really don’t, but it’s just so wonderfully impossible that I can’t stop staring! The “bald mullet” is one of the worst ideas in fashion history, but Gerads then forced a wizard to animate his hair, I guess?
He looks like a supervillain with “prehensile hair” who’s still growing it out. Right now, his shoulder-length locks can only mildly inconvenience his foes, but five years from now? Do-gooders beware!
Trixie would probably be able to scam Gertie of every cent she has by pretending to be a NASCAR driver.
FC: Never seen a toilet held down by four bolts. It’s normally two. Must be to keep whatever poltergeist that put Jeffy’s head on backwards from rising up through the plumbing.
Funnier for me personally if Gertie was decorating the home in 43s and Petty blue, and she allowed her grandkids art from the Cars movie only if it depicted Strip Weathers.
MW Oh Toby… it’s kinda sweet how you think you’re perceptive and all, but you could barely even figure out that Ian hated the parrot when he was literally screaming at it. I’m pretty sure he could bring a woman home and introduce her literally as his “affair partner” and you’d think they were in some academic business together.
@TheDiva:
On Luann : I wonder if “when asked about the sex, Bwad & Toni’s reply is that they have no idea what they’re doing” is intentional, or if the Evansii didn’t realise that Mrs Horner should have reacted to Luann’s answer with “I meant the sex OF THE BABY. Is it a boy or a girl?” (to which Luann replies “Oh, they ALSO said they have no idea what they’re doing regarding that, too.”)
No matter how hard she tries, Gertie’s husband just won’t take the hint that she really wants a threesome. Presumably involving Dale Earnhardt’s corpse.
GG: Mr Gertie jokingly suggests they go MOPAR for their next car. Gertie asks not so jokingly if he’d like a fuel-injector enema.
GT: “Oh, yeah? Well, wait’ll we hit you with our ‘Act of Contrition’ play!”
CS: You said “cider” correctly three days ago, you unfunny hack. You’re a financial and safety hazard to everyone around you. And you’re at least 107 years old. Would you please just die?
GA: I was happy before seeing this strip and remain the same after.
DT: A cemetery is a public place so Tracy is just exerting his right to wander. Or did he specifically drive to their private family plot? In that case, yeah, he is razzing the family.
JP: Cut and Paste gone bad – that rear view of the car in Frame 1 is clearly out or proportion
MW: I’m glad to see that the creators are sticking with their character design. Toby is young, attractive and not too bright! Consistency!
RMMD: You can almost here their eyeblinks clicking – except for that modern animatronics are pretty good.
GT: There are so many goofs and gaffes it is easier to note what is correct. The shape of the American football seems close. The players are wearing jerseys and pads. The helmets have face masks. The editor must be AI since no one who actually has any awareness of modern high school football in the USA would have this art, dialogue or plot. Oops, I forgot – this is Milford land.
GT: Unlucky Goshen is on the verge of winning when the stars, and the universe, blink out of existence.
GT: If Valley Texh is throwing a Hail Mary when they have first and goal nobody will see it coming.
Gearhead Gertie: In comics, characters rarely age or change. Gertie will remain in stasis, even as the memory of Dale Earnhardt recedes further and further into the past. There will come a time when the comic strip (produced by Mike Smith’s grandchildren or the AI content creators of GG Humor Amalgamated Inc.) depicts Gertie worshiping a race car driver who died before she was born. At that time, it will appear that she is longing for the days when NASCAR competitors were human beings rather than self-driving machines.
@Hibbleton: The Nine Billion Scores of Goshen.
DtM: Henry’s look says less “Kids say the darndest things” and more “I’m such a degenerate gambler my five-year-old figured it out!”
FC: It doesn’t matter whether the seat is up on down. Without something for Jeffy to stand on … well let’s just say I feel sorry for whoever has to use the bathroom next.